Author's Babble:

So, my sister and I are major Espada fans. And by fans I mean, we enjoy throwing them into stupid situations like this one. Instead of us doing anything meaningful, we typed the first chapter to the most OOC and cracked out story I have ever written. We do hope you enjoy, this will be the first of a series of OOC Espada stories.

-------- A BlueTalker Collaboration ---------

"What the hell is this?"

"An invitation, Grimmjow."

"To what?"

Gin gave a slick smile. "A slumber party, of course."

Grimmjow groaned with building aggravation, since when should he know what a slumber party was?

"Gin, what is a slumber party?" He said desperately.

"I forget, most of you are either ignorant or" -He fought back a snicker- "blatantly retarded."

In response, Grimmjow made a motion like he wanted to deck Gin smartly across the face, but he knew better. Collecting himself, he shot: "Cut the insults, and just tell me, you punk!"

"Geez, don't take it to heart." Gin chuckled. "It's sort of like a party where everyone gathers in usually one room and sleep together."

Grimmjow made a face of absolute disgust.

"Get your mind out of the gutter, Grimmy."

Before Grimmjow could announce his dislike of the entire idea of a party like that, Aizen entered the room. His presence only added more to Grimmjow's growing anger; rather what he was wearing. The usually white cloaked man was wearing quite possibly the most out of character outfit Grimmjow had ever seen. He was adorned with a pair of fleece pajamas covered in a crude design of tea cups. White tea cups. Oh, joy.

"What's with that face, Grimmjow?" Aizen coolly asked, making his way over the heading seat of the table. "Do you not like my sleep attire?" -He held his arms out at his sides in a failed pose- "Aren't they hip?"

The sound of Aizen saying 'hip' brought a terrible mental picture of Aizen at a seventies disco. Grimmjow fought back an urge to laugh with a cringe.

"They're…" he searched for a word. "Unusual?"

"Thank you, it took me days to find ones with a tea cup pattern." -He sat down- "I had Tosen look on EBay for a pair. Only ten dollars." he added with a thumbs up.

The shit was an EBay?

The door to the room burst open, revealing Harribel and her Fraccion; all of them looked ready to bust a skull. Gin frowned at them; "Oh my. You four look livid."

"We are, so shut up!" Apache rang, throwing a finger at Gin.

"Don't be so rude!"

"Who's the rude one?!" she spat. "We weren't invited to your sleepover tonight!"

For the first time since the conversation started, Grimmjow was pleased by a piece of news. For one, he didn't mind Harribel, but her Fraccion were fucking irritating. Also, from Noitora's long hours of meandering self conversation, he knew that half the Espada men slept naked. The last thing he wanted was women to gawk over them.

Aizen rested his chin on the back of his hand. "We can't have women attend. Things would get messy."

"Messy, my ass!" Screeched Apache, Mila Rose shushed her with a slap on the back of her neck. "Fine," -she rubbed the throbbing area on her neck- "Have your gay orgy. We girls will have another party, that you boys can't come to!"

"Yeah, the four of you have fun." Grimmjow rolled his eyes.

"Shove off, Sexta!" she snapped. With that, the girls turned from the three men and marched from the room. Leaving an air of hilarious silence.

Now what?

Aizen sighed. "I have a feeling Luppi is going to have the same reaction."

"Wha-?" Grimmjow started, but Gin cut him off.

"Read the back." he answered with a point to the invitation.

Flipping it over, the sixth Espada read in big black letters:

'ABSOLUTELY NO WOMEN ALLOWED. OR ANYTHING THAT IS REMOTELY CLOSE TO A FEMALE. (THIS MEANS YOU, LUPPI.)'

Giving a roar of laughter, Grimmjow flicked the card from his hand.

"Good. I fucking hate that faggot." -He sat down at the table- "So…where is this shindig goin' down?"

"Well, right here, of course!" Aizen chuckled. Sexta put his head down; defeated. The door open, once again, this time opening to the rest of the men Espada. Or most of them. They filed in: Szayel, Starrk, Ulquiorra, Noitora and Yammy. All sat down in their usual seats, each wearing a face of morbid hatred for the entire idea of a sleepover. (Except Noitora, he was grinning like always.) Yammy slammed a fist on the table.

"WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THIS IDEA?!" His voiced raised along with the bits of splinter from the tabletop.

"Aizen did." Szayel responded, giving the fist hole a fixed glare.

Yammy looked alarmed beyond belief, and attempted to fix his blunder. "BECAUSE IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA!" Fist slammed again, more wood.

Starrk rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "If it's always night in Los Noches, how do we know when this ends?"

"It ends when we say so." Gin jeered.

"That'll be rule one." Aizen said, producing a yellow notepad from no explainable place. "We have to have some. The last thing I need is a bunch of chaos in my army."

Ulquiorra chimed in: "I think we need to have a dress code."

"Great idea," -Aizen scribbled some nonsense down in his notebook.- "Let's see…"

"No shoes."

Aizen wrote, the rest nodded.

"No uniforms."

Starrk scoffed.

"And no nudity."

Noitora and Yammy raised a protest.

"How can we sleep if we are being compressed by clothes?!" Noitora shot.

Aizen nodded, "True."

"GOD. NO." Grimmjow bellowed, putting his face in his hands. The others who had not protested the regulation followed Grimmjow in a loud burst of arguments. Gin put up his hands in mock alarm, grinning as he did it.

"Fine," -Aizen crossed something off the paper- "Nudity isn't permitted. I'm sure you can find something Noitora."

A cheer broke out.

"Oh, another rule." -Gin pointed to the paper- "No girls, no Luppi and no Shinigami."

"Oooh. Good one." Aizen wrote it down with a flourish.

"Wait." Ulquiorra questioned. "Why would we have the need to write down a rule not permitting someone who shouldn't even BE anywhere near here in the first place?"

Gin and Aizen exchanged worried looks. The rest of the men all sighed, they knew something stupid was going down.

"Well…" Gin started. "When Tosen sent out the invites…he might have still had his old Vice Captain on the mailing list."

"Hold up," Noitora leaned forward, putting a elbow on the table. "So your telling me that at any minute, some group of Shinigami men and women could bust in and spoil our bash?"

"Looks like it." Gin said sadly.

The tall Arrancar sat back again. "And why are you telling me I can't sleep nude?"

"Because you're disgusting." Szayel playfully reproached. Noitora sneered at him while Aizen continued on.

"If they come in then we should show hospitality."

Seven jaws dropped in unison.

"WHY WOULD I SHOW SOME SOUL REAPING FUCKERS ANY HOSPITALITY?!" Grimmjow howled, standing up.

"I have to agree with Sexta." Ulquiorra furrowed his brow. "I don't see why we should show them any gesture of the sort."

"Because," -Aizen pushed the rule list out of his way- "This is a party. Not a time for any sort of brawl."

At that moment, Tosen stepped in, arms piled with pillows. He stumbled a bit before dropping it on the table. They slipped everywhere, even on the floors. Many of the Arrancar snickered in reaction, Tosen announced:

"I have brought the pillows."

"Did you get the board games?" Gin asked, reaching to pick up a pillow.

"I couldn't find but a few." He stacked a small heap of games on the table.

"Sweet!" Noitora picked up one from the pile. "We can all play Pictionary…" The end of the word died as he looked at Tosen, who was scowling.

"Never mind!" Szayel grabbed another. "We can play chess…" Once again, a remorseful look with a scowled response.

Yammy tried to save the humiliation from growing. "Nah! We can play Charades!" He put up his hands and smiled.

The whole room sighed at their large comrade. Aizen stood up from his seat and pulled a small night cap with a puff ball at the end out of his pocket. He flung it on the table.

"Alright, my Arrancar." he smiled. "Go to your rooms and put on your pjs. The party starts as soon as you all get back!"

Reluctantly, the Espada stood up and walked out the door, followed by a bouncing Gin. Once they left, Aizen went and laid a hands on Tosen's shoulders.

"Don't worry." -He gave the blind man a little shake- "We'll find a game for you."

A/D

Well, did you enjoy it? The next chapter is in the starting layout, then we will be posting it soon. Review and enjoy!