A quick note: I don't own Alice, no matter how much I wish I did: it'd be a lot better.

"I've told you time and time again: shave that moustache!" Dormouse started, pressing his back flat against the wall (you can't see me, you can't see me), only to have himself suddenly face to face with Hatter and his mighty right fist. "Frankly, it makes you look bloody stupid."

The Dormouse felt sleep beckon him, as it always did, and almost succumbed, his eyelids heavy weights and his body weak. He protested, his voice higher then normal, thanks to stress: "It's expected of me, Hatter! I can't shave. Besides, where am I supposed to come by a razor?" He gestured weakly around him, at the twisting abysses of Wonderland, and the barren emptiness of the surrounding apartments. He fought against falling asleep. But he was just so tired…yawning, he allowed his eyelids to fall closed.

Hatter shook him gently, but Dormouse was already snoring. "What the hell," he muttered, letting Dormouse slide to the dirt floor, where he snored calmly against the wall. He rolled his eyes, and looked away, frustrated. Dormouse had the annoying habit of falling asleep whenever confronted.

Hatter then got an idea. A brilliant one. Rubbing his hands together, he smiled, and squatted down to hoist Dormouse up. With his arms under Dormouse's armpits, he proceeded back into the Tea House, where he dragged him into the room where Hatter basically lived. Hatter laid Dormouse down on the grass, and then went to fetch a razor.

Dormouse awoke, catapulting out of sleep as he usually did with a snort and a violent twitch. His top lip itched something fierce. With a delicate hand, he felt his top lip to see what the matter was. He paused. Then he felt it again, tracing his area of bare skin with a faintly trembling hand. "You d-didn't," he sputtered, and Hatter smiled, his legs crossed, reclining in his chair.

"I most certainly did, Dormouse, my boy." Hatter swept off his hat and placed it on the table beside him, and swept his hair backwards to obliterate hat hair. "And Dormie, I must admit," he stood, "You look a lot cuter without it."

Hatter approached. Dormouse protested. "But I never asked you to do that!" Dormouse's griping became weaker as Hatter neared, that ever present smirk on his face.

Dormouse staggered from the back room, coat and tie askew, hair disheveled. He was smiling almost drunkenly. As he sat down heavily at his place in front of the room, one of the bouncers asked: "What happened to you, mate?"

"Hatter."

Ending notes:

I feel so damn cliché ending it like that, but it's a drabble I thought I should share with you all because this pairing, the category in general, in fact, does not get enough love. Does no one see the possibilities?!

-coughs- Sorry. I'm aware it's 2009, and the Alice miniseries emerged, blinking, into the sunlight in 2009, so no one has worked up enough speed or anything.

Anyway, I was out because of National Novel Writing Month in November and familial issues in December. For those out there (the few that do) that like my stuff (even a little) sorry for the wait. For those that just don't care, don't listen to me.

Reviews welcome, as always.