Ha-HA! Here's what you all have been waiting for!

Dear readers, I happily present to you…drumroll please…THE FIFTH CHAPTER OF 'An Awful Predicament'!!!

Amazing right?! It's fan-freakin'-TASTIC!!!

I hope you enjoy…!

------------

Naruto sat up in bed and looked around his room. He was a little groggy with sleep…or lack thereof.

The remnants of last night's activities with Sasuke swarmed through his mind like thirty thousand honeybees, and not even in his sleep could he get those peculiar thoughts out of his poor, confused little head. He remembered how, by doing even the littlest things, Sasuke had gotten him very worked up. He blushed, partially embarrassed.

Was he feeling something towards Sasuke? And if so, what was it?

A loud snore erupted down the hall and Naruto jumped, startled. Then he relaxed, remembering that Sasuke was still shacking up in his quaint little home.

Only now, it wasn't so quaint. It was more like just plain strange.

Naruto lay back down in bed and stared up at the ceiling. He began to fantasize about Sakura to try and get his thoughts off of Sasuke.

He thought about Sakura in a bikini.

He thought about Sakura in a bikini and covered in ramen broth.

He thought about Sakura in a bikini, covered in ramen broth and erotically licking a meat stick.

…A really big meat stick.

He quickly reached for the box of Kleenex as a huge stream of blood gushed out of his nose. He wiped the blood away from his face, then his shirt, then groaning when he realized that it even got on his pants.

"I'm hungry."

Naruto gasped at the sound of Sasuke's emotionless voice; his head whipped around so fast you could hear his bones crack. Sasuke was standing in the doorway of Naruto's room, wearing bunk pajamas and clutching a teddy bear under his right arm.

Naruto had many questions to ask Sasuke, but the first was, "Why are you wearing bunny pajamas?"

"For story purposes," Sasuke immediately replied.

Naruto scratched his head, clearly not understanding what the heck Sasuke was talking about.

"What's for breakfast?" Sasuke asked.

"Whatever you cook," Naruto replied.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "You want me to cook?"

"Yeah, it's cool." Naruto grinned crookedly. "Just as long as it's not ramen," he quickly added to his statement.

Sasuke grinned broadly, eyes shining like a five-year-old kid on Christmas day. "I'LL MAKE A FEAST!" He yelled loudly, dashing towards the kitchen.

Naruto just stared after him, shocked as ever. When had Sasuke become so…infantile?

Within minutes, Sasuke called Naruto to the kitchen. Apparently, the food was ready. Naruto trudged weakly down to the kitchen. Sasuke stood in front of the stove, smiling. Naruto sat down at the table, marveling at the glorious feast laid out before him.

"Let's eat," he said, grinning at Sasuke.

***

Meanwhile…

Neji and Hinata were out shopping for Christmas trees--though no one knew why, or even questioned, since it was the middle of August. They walked into Trish's Trusty Tree Trove, glancing around and admiring the lovely pines set out before them.

Rock Lee trailed not too far behind them. He was Neji's personal lackey for the day--he didn't mind it too much, though.

"What about this tree, Hinata?" Neji asked, pointing to a tall, skinny pine. Hinata shook her head. "Too thin. What about that one, over there?"

Neji glanced at the tree. It would have been perfect--if not for the fact that it was MISSING ITS NEEDLES.

"Hinata, are you blind? That tree is naked!"

"S--Sorry," Hinata whispered. "What about that one, then?" She asked, pointing to a very, very small tree in the corner, a red ornament hanging from its top branch. The tree was so small and light that it had to be placed on two small wooden planks to hold it up. The tag on it read 'Take me--I'm free!'

"What do I look like--freakin' Charlie Brown?!" Neji bellowed.

"S--Sorry!" Hinata squealed. "Why don't you pick, then?"
Neji walked around the shop, inspecting every tree. His pale eyes brightened when he caught sight of the beautiful, huge, healthy-looking tree in the far right corner. It was perfectly green, with no needles missing, and it was just the right size.

"I want that one," he said bluntly.

Hinata agreed. "Okay, go get it."

Lee suddenly materialized in front of Hinata, causing her to shriek from surprise. "You are kidding, right, Miss Hinata?! Surely you don't expect Neji-sama to pick up the tree! He is a busy, busy man! He cannot sully his hands with the responsibility and concern of performing such a very disgraceful and inappropriate act as this!"

"Yeah," Neji agreed. "What he said."
Lee walked over to the tree and effortlessly hefted it up and over his shoulder. "Um…Neji-sama…? You do know that this tree costs a hundred and thirty dollars, right?"

"And I am concerned about that because…?"

"Just making sure you knew." Lee walked up to the counter and paid for the tree, earning a complimentary pine-shaped car freshener in return. Playfully, he hung it on Hinata's ear.

"Alright," Neji said. "Let's go home and eat some s'mores."

***

Naruto leaned back in his chair and sighed happily, patting his stomach. "That was great," he said. "I wish I could eat it all over again."

"Glad you liked it," Sasuke replied, clearing the dishes from the table. Naruto watched him as he did so (déjà vu?), noting that Sasuke kind of acted like a housewife, or something of the like. Unintentionally, he began to daydream about Sasuke bustling around the kitchen in a butler's uniform, fixing Naruto whatever he wanted and tending to all his worldly desires:

"Fetch me some fruit, Sasuke."

"Yes, Naruto-sama."

"Feed me, Sasuke."

"Yes, Naruto-sama."

"Pleasure me, Sasuke."

In one swift motion, Sasuke whips off his shirt and pushes Naruto to the floor. "Yes, Naruto-sama…"

Blood gushes violently from Naruto's nose and onto the table. He quickly runs out of the room, in search of a towel.

When he returns to the kitchen, Sasuke has cleaned up and is waiting for him. "What perverted thought were you thinking this time?"

Naruto doesn't answer. Instead, he sits back down and makes a point of not looking at Sasuke.

Without warning, Sasuke whips off his shirt and shoves Naruto to the floor. He straddles his waist and smirks, a devilish gleam in his eye.

"Did your little daydream go something like this?" He asked, tauntingly. Naruto shook his head violently.

Sasuke leaned down and nibbled Naruto's earlobe. Naruto tried unsuccessfully not to flinch. "How about this?" Sasuke murmured into his ear.

"N--No," Naruto said, cursing himself for the involuntary stutter.

"No?" Sasuke repeated. "Then why don't you show me?" Then he leaned down and kissed Naruto full on the mouth.

Impure thoughts began to run through Naruto's head. Then blood gushed from his nose once again, and he suddenly blacked out.

-----------------

HOW DID YOU LIKE IT?!

I know it's kind of short, and it took me a awhile to write it, but THERE IT IS!

Chaptah six is in progress!