A/N: Another warning for girl-on-girl lovin'... which, really, if that bothers you I don't know why you would read a femslash story in the first place lol. Anyway, thanks guys for all the reviews and support through this, I really appreciate it! It's been a great way to slip back into the fandom. Ya'll make me feel loved ^_^

CHAPTER TWENTY

Sex is something Faith has always done spontaneously.

There's never been any dates, never been any relationships. It's always a drunk or slay induced haze that she finds herself falling into. The edges of reality blur and she slips into a state that's bordering on primal and it's damn near insatiable. It's never about thinking. Her body reacts to being touched; to the feeling of being lusted after. It runs through her veins like fire and she finds she has an infatuation to being consumed whole and burned from the inside out.

But this was different.

There is no spontaneity. No fault of alcohol or slaying. There are no instincts, there are no animalistic urges that are growling to be satisfied. There's the lust, there's the passion, but she's thinking too much, thinking to god damn much about Buffy. About her and Buffy and how a month ago she would have bet that she'd die from a lightning strike than ever sleep with her. How she would have bet her left fuckin' leg that Buffy would never want her in that way. In any way. Especially that she would never love her.

But she does. Buffy's head over fuckin' heels and she can see it, which is probably what's really scaring her. It's so much different now. It's like the world had gone and changed on her without any kind of fair warning and time for her to prepare. She still isn't sure how she's supposed to deal with it. Maybe she is a sucker for the pain of Buffy, but what does she do when there is no pain? What does she do when all that's left is love, tenderness, smiles, and warmth?

It makes her nervous.

This. All of this. She's naked beneath Buffy and they're kissing. It's so slow, so damn agonizingly slow that it makes her feel everything. All of it. It pours through her and begs to be held onto but all Faith wants to do is fix the feeling into something she can understand. She wants to just growl low in her throat and take Buffy just like every other person she's ever done. It's easier; it's familiar. It makes all of this so much less fuckin' scary and yet… she can't find it in herself to move. Not a damn muscle.

Buffy's lips are dragging across her throat and Faith closes her eyes, trying to remember to breathe. But it's hard. She wonders why she could sit there and masturbate with Buffy in the same bed as her and be fine. She wonders what was so damn different about that. Maybe it was the connection, how it was all screwed up and affecting each other; maybe because it was something that she could classify as raunchy; maybe because it was just sex, where as this…

She's never done this.

Faith's hands wrap around the bed sheets, but it's not for something to hold onto; it's to stop her hands from shaking. She lets out a quiet breath as Buffy's lips are making their way slowly up to her ear. Her hot breath is tickling one of her biggest erogenous zones and she can feel the anticipation run rampant through her bloodstream. Her neck is a weakness, which is probably ironic for being a slayer. It's a trust zone, is what it really is. It's a place to be marked; to be claimed. To be fuckin' owned as someone else's. She's never let anyone stay there for that long, no matter how good it felt. It's a feeling of vulnerability and it usually makes her push other people away. But for some reason it makes her love Buffy more.

"You're shaking," Buffy whispers in her ear as she places one of her hands on her stomach. The warmth calms the butterflies in her stomach, but only dully. She starts dragging her fingertips softly, making Faith's skin jump underneath her touch. She inhales a sharp breath.

"I'm just…" Faith starts, but then she chickens out. "Fine," she finishes. She still doesn't open her eyes to look at Buffy, and the older slayer kisses her neck softly.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Buffy admits softly, her words vibrating the base of her neck slightly. She kisses her again lightly. "I guess I was counting on you taking the lead on this one…" but then her teeth sink into her, making Faith arc her back and cry out as her fingers dig deeper into the sheets. Buffy lets her go, letting her tongue drag across the tender flesh beneath her to heal it. "But I guess this is all me, huh?"

"I'm fine, B. I swear," Faith breathes out, opening her eyes to look down at her. Buffy looks almost as terrified as she feels, but she's dealing with it better than the brunette is. She gives her a small smile, and when she kisses her and cups Faith's neck with her hand, Faith can feel that she's shaking too.

"You're not a good liar, you know," Buffy whispers against her lips. Her hand touches her cheek tentatively as she tells her, "I know you've never done this before…"

Faith swallows as her throat begins to dry. "I've had sex," Faith says. "A lot of it," she adds as an afterthought. But Buffy's gaze is too intense and she finds herself looking away, but Buffy gently guides her face back to look at her.

"You've never made love."

Faith doesn't say anything. She doesn't have to anyway because Buffy already knows. She gives her a brave little smile and kisses her softly again on the lips before telling her, "So… as this is my area of… okay, not expertise, but I've had more experience with it then you, so… I guess this is all on me." Faith tries to say something, seeing that she's nervous about this too and she probably shouldn't have to be the one driving during her first experience with a woman, but Buffy puts a hand over her mouth to quiet her. "No," she whispers. "Let me make love to you, Faith."

Faith chews on her bottom lip a little before she slowly nods. Buffy takes her hand away and kisses her again before she whispers her request, "Just tell me if I'm doing something wrong," which makes Faith laugh a little. It makes her feel better; more comfortable.

"Like I said… don't really think you can do it wrong. You got all the same parts as I do."

Buffy smirks a little as her hand falls downwards to drag over her chest, "Like these?" she asks innocently while her fingertips graze her nipples. Faith inhales sharply and closes her eyes, feeling them harden under the older woman's touch. She nods mutely. She doesn't have to open her eyes to know Buffy's smirk widened at that. She also didn't have to open her eyes to know that her reaction made Buffy feel bolder. It was humming under the surfaces of her own nervousness, and she already knows where Buffy's hand is going before it reaches there.

"Or this?" she asks just as innocently as her fingertips brush over her clit. Faith gasps quietly, spreading her legs wider instinctively. But she can feel Buffy's nervousness start to seep up to the surface again as she passes by it and chooses instead to let her fingers linger on her thigh. Faith takes a breath before opening her eyes to look at her.

"Lay down," she tells her softly. Buffy looks at her confused and Faith takes Buffy's hand, leading her to lie back down on the bed next to her before she rolls over so she's hovering over the blonde. Her heart is going about a thousand miles a minute but this is everything she's always wanted and she's damn sure gonna get it, one way or another. Nervousness can fuck off right now.

Hopefully.

"This is my area," Faith tells her softly in explanation before letting her lips fall to her neck while her hand makes its way between Buffy's legs. Buffy gasps softly as Faith rakes her nails up her thigh gently. She bites down and rolls her skin between her teeth softly, marking her. If she was going to try to make love to her, then she damn sure was going to mark Buffy as hers. Buffy groans from the feeling and wraps her arms around Faith, her nails digging into the flesh of her back.

"Mine," Faith growls against her neck, pressing her body firmly into hers to further enhance her point. Her leg slips between Buffy's, pressing deep into her core and making Buffy moan hard from the pressure. Faith can feel her heat and her desire dripping down her thigh and it feels like a rush of adrenaline runs through her.

"Yours," Buffy gasps out, rocking her hips slightly against Faith's thigh as she bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes. "Faith…" she breathes out lightly as the brunette's lips are kissing down her shoulder slowly, descending down her chest until her tongue flicks out to gently tease a nipple. Buffy groans and arcs her back, pressing her center further into Faith's thigh. "God…"

Faiths mouth wraps around her fully and she bites down gently, vibrating her with her teeth in a way that makes Buffy squirm beneath her and gasp out her name again like she couldn't get enough of saying it. Faith closes her eyes, feeling the connection deepen between them. She tries to concentrate, tries to bend it, manipulate it to her will. She can feel the psychic waves ripple and start to shift, and so can Buffy.

"What are you…?" Buffy tries to breathe out, but she's quickly interrupted.

Faith uses one hand to anchor herself to the bed as she starts making the boundaries slip and move down her body. It feels like it takes forever and it's hard for her to focus on concentrating, but it's only a few moments until she realizes that she has complete control over anything as long as she desires to have it. Then it's focused, all in one tiny area around her thigh. Faith can feel the smirk start to spread across her face before she suddenly looks up at Buffy, letting their eyes meet before she pushes both physically and psychically against her center.

Buffy cries out loudly, one hand slamming so hard against the headboard of the bed that it splinters and falls apart as Buffy hand goes right through it to hit the wall. The plaster crack around her fingertips and Faith's eyes go wide as Buffy screams as she tenses, her back lifting off the bed as the ripple of her orgasm pulses against Faith's thigh. She's breathless as she comes down, panting and gasping as she realizes what just happened.

"Damn," Faith says, her confidence hitting the freaking roof. "Look what I can do."

"How…? You…? What… did…? God…" Buffy pants out, trying to calm herself down. All Faith can do is smirk as she watches her, officially naming herself Queen of the Lesbians in her head. Kennedy be damned. Bet she can't do that.

Faith laughs a little from Buffy's disorientation before she leans in and kisses her. "Queen of the Lesbians," she boasts softly, giggling a little against her lips.

"How did you… how did you do that?" Buffy gasps out.

Faith smirks. "Maybe I'll show you one day…" she teases before she starts sliding her body down Buffy's. The older slayers skin is slick from the light sheen of sweat that litters her body post orgasm and Buffy's still struggling to breathe normally.

"Faith… I… I'm…"

"Not nearly finished yet," Faith finishes for her before she situates herself between Buffy's legs. Buffy tries to find something to say to that, to tell her she's already spent, but Faith is going to have none of that. She kisses her thigh lightly a couple times, her lips lingering slightly as they climb further towards the center of her legs. Buffy's weak with anticipation, Faith can feel it, and when she finally reaches her destination, Buffy moans hard as she spreads her legs as wide as she can possibly have them go. Buffy's hands tangle in the brunette's hair as Faith wraps her lips around her clit gently, not wanting to overdo it at first since Buffy is already sensitive. "Oh god baby…" Buffy breathes out from the feeling. "Yes… please…"

Obviously she changed her mind about not being able to handle it.

Faith chuckles a little, vibrating her sensitive flesh and making Buffy thrust her hips further into her face as she pants out her name into the darkness of the room. Faith takes her time; that feeling of disbelief washing through her again. She's going down on Buffy Summers. It's almost a laughable statement if not for how sexy it is. Buffy's crying out and squirming beneath her, continuously saying her name. Maybe she's in disbelief too and needs to hear herself say it, or maybe she's doing it to remind Faith that this is real. Maybe it was for both of them, or maybe it was just because Buffy doesn't have a single other thing on her mind besides her.

"Faith…" Buffy pants out again, though this time she's trying to say something. "Faith, I…" Faith kisses her gently before looking up at Buffy, who's panting still. "I need to touch you," she gasps out, her voice dripping with all the need and desire that Faith thinks she's ever heard voiced by another person.

Their eyes connect and Faith smiles softly before ascending up Buffy's body. She climbs on top of her slowly, agile almost, and she can feel the slayer within her start to take over her body. Every movement is precise with a purpose; it's almost like an animal. But that's what slayers were; hunters. She's hovering over Buffy, never letting her eyes leave hers as Buffy's hand slides down Faith's stomach slowly. The anticipation is eating her alive and she can hear her breathing quicken before she lets out a heavy breath once Buffy's hand slides into her heat. "Shit…" she swears, closing her eyes at the feeling of the blonde's touch.

She lets herself down slowly so she's next to her instead of hovering because she knows eventually her arms aren't gonna be able to hold her. Her head falls to rest on Buffy's shoulder, her head buried in the crook of her neck as Buffy starts softly stimulating her, making her gasp quietly. She spreads her legs wider as Buffy's fingers make their decent, and she slips her own hand between their bodies until her fingers find her clit. She presses against it just as Buffy's fingers slide inside of her, making them both cry out.

Faith can feel Buffy's hesitation and her nervousness though and Faith kisses her neck softly reminding her, "It's just masturbation in reverse."

"Bit more than that," Buffy breathes, her voice shaking from her nerves. Faith kisses her neck again, trying to calm her before she slides her fingers gently inside her. Buffy gasps softly and Faith tells her,

"Then I'll show you."

Buffy's inner walls clench, drawing Faith deeper inside as she bites on her bottom lip. Faith continues to kiss her neck as she starts a slow, steady rhythm, making Buffy pant softly and push her hips into her hand. "Don't do the psychic… whatever you did last time," Buffy requests softly as she rolls her hips against her. "I just want to feel you…" She opens her eyes and looks at Faith, who smiles before coming into kiss her gently.

Gentle didn't last for long though because once Buffy got into the feeling she became bolder. She slides her fingers deep inside of Faith, making the younger woman growl against her lips before kissing her passionately. They're panting against each other's lips as they rock against each other, the looming feeling of infinite ecstasy building deep in the pit of their stomachs.

Buffy's shuddered breathing and gasps of pleasure push Faith further along the edge. She can feel every inch of her, every feeling and every breath she takes. The connection grows deeper, almost burning them as it fuels their desire. It's almost painful but so damn close to perfect that it makes them cry out, the heat of their bodies slicking them with sweat as they slide against each other. It runs so much deeper than just the physical, even further than psychically. It's almost like their souls were speaking, and ridiculous Faith thinks that sounds if it's ever voiced out loud. But even if it is ridiculous, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered besides Buffy, besides them. Nothing mattered besides the feeling of the two of them together and how maybe Kennedy was possibly right when she referred to it as destiny.

Because that's what it felt like.

Everything is blurring and all that's left is feeling as Faith cries out, muffling her screams by biting down on Buffy's shoulder. Her whole body tensing as she feels Buffy clench around her fingers in almost a death grip as her body simultaneously follows after Faith, having them both fall over the edge and into oblivion. Buffy grabs onto her back as she screams her name loudly and with no remorse, her nails digging in so much Faith is sure they broke the skin. But it doesn't matter. Nothing in this fuckin' world matters to her besides Buffy now. Maybe nothing else ever did.

"Fuck, Buffy… fuck…" Faith breathes out, her eyes still closed as she lays on top of her, basking in the feeling. It was like no sex she's ever had. She's had great orgasms before, but nothing like this. Nothing so deeply connected; nothing that ever really meant anything.

And this meant everything.

"I love you Faith…"

Faith opens her eyes, sitting up a little to look down at Buffy. "I love you too," she whispers, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips that she knows is going to last forever.

Maybe it wasn't destiny, maybe it wasn't really anything big in the whole entire spectrum of life and whatever else… but damn, it felt like this was what her life was leading up to. All the bullshit, all the pain, all the hurt… because suddenly? It was all worth it.

But she's pretty sure it would always be worth it for Buffy.

THE END