Sooo... Yeah... I have nothing to say. This story is pretty much nonsense and the point is just for humor. I'm still in a stupid smutty smut smut mood, so this came into mind. Not really smutty, but the direction of the story is pointless smut. It will still be rated T only since it won't be graphic. I'll make sure of it.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything related and copyrighted by Rick Riordan and Percy Jackson and the Olympians. I don't even own the idea of a bachelor party. But whoever came up with it, you're a legend dude!
CLAIMER: I own this story! Mine! All mine! Mwahahaha... My precious...
ADVERTISEMENT: Check out my story Just Go With The Flow! And if you have, there's already an update! Yeah... Stupid FF. Not sending alerts.
Bleep! 1
"Booze with strippers!? Are you freaking kidding me!?" Percy screamed from the driver's seat. Nico rolled his eyes and gave him the 'duh' look.
"It's the classic bachelor party! What else would you want? If you're expecting a birthday cake and sodas with balloons, well, actually… We can arrange that if that's your kink. We can have the stripper in the cake and-"
"Nic! Please. Just. Stop," Percy said softly, emphasizing each word with a growl. He took slow breaths. Breath in… Breath out… "Booze yes, strippers no."
"Why not?" Nico whined.
"First of all, aren't you too young to be hosting this bachelor party? And like I said, you're fresh out of high school. We could supervise the booze, but strippers, nuh-uh mister."
"I'm already 18! I'm legal! And what about Grover? He's younger than me!"
"Blaa-ha-ha!" Grover bleated. "What are you talking about? I'm 35 years old for crying out loud!"
"And that's 17 and a half in human years!" Nico pointed out.
"Oh, right. Stupid satyr years," Grover grumbled.
"Why are you even grumbling? If Juniper found out, you'll be a roasted satyr," Percy said. "So, that's settled. No strippers."
"Why not?" Nico whined, again.
"Yeah. No offense, Percy, but that's what we came for," Will added from the very backseat of the minivan.
"And I don't really drink. So, yeah. But I'll volunteer to drive you guys when you get wasted," Jake put in, next to Will.
"Wow. Just… wow. You're throwing me a bachelor party and I don't get a say in it." Percy sighed. "So, let me get this straight. We're getting strippers for you guys, and not for me, whom by the way, the bachelor party is for."
"That's the point," Travis grinned, crumpled next to Jake, Will and his twin. The mischievous teen, er, young adult poked his head up so he was blocking the scene in Percy's rearview mirror. "Don't worry, Perce. I'm sure Malcolm will cover for you if Annabeth finds out."
"Yeah. I'm all over it. It'll be easy. We'll just have to make sure to save a few boozes to use to get her wasted. We could even get a few NyQuil's just to make sure she gets knocked out," Malcolm explained from the backse-, er, middle-seat. Percy's face went blank. Who knew Malcolm had this kind of side in him.
"And if she truly loves you, she'll understand," Chris added who was in between Malcolm and Grover.
"Uh, thanks," Percy replied, clearly speechless. Percy sighed. He stepped on the break at the red light and he then banged his head continuously on the driving wheel.
"Hey, I just remembered. Are we getting a take-out, if you know what I mean," Connor grinned mischievously. Travis gave him a high-five as Percy groaned.
"This is going to be a long night…"
"Oh, come on, Perce. It won't be that bad. I mean, the worst thing that could happen is Athena finding ou- Oh…" Nico trailed off. Percy slowly turned his head that was lying on the wheel and gave Nico a death glare. And that's when he lost it.
"I'm gonna bleeping kill you! I'll shove Riptide in your bleep, then I'll cut your bleep and give it to bleeping girl scouts for them to roast during bleeping campfires!"
"Percy-" All the guys started to panic. Percy was choking Nico to death.
"Can't… Breath…"
"If that bleeping Athena bleep *thunder booms* kills me, I swear to the bleeping River Styx *thunder booms* I'm going to bleeping haunt you!"
"Percy, stop-"
"Calm down-"
"That bleeping King Minos haunting that bleeping Daedalus bleep will be nothing to what I'll bleeping do to you! I'll make sure you bleep your bleeping pants every bleeping second!"
"Help… Me…"
"Ooh… I found the camera!"
"I don't bleeping care if you're the bleeping son of Hades! You bleeping son of a bleep!"
"Listen, Perce-"
"Cheese!" Click. *flash* Click. *flash* Click. *flash*
"The stoplight's already green."
"I'm gonna bleeping bleep you, you bleeping bleep to bleeping bleep, you bleeping bleep bleep of a bleeping bleep!"
"Wow…" All of them stopped and looked horrifically at Percy for his choice of words, forgetting that he was still choking Nico who was already running out of air.
"Air… Air…" Click. *flash*
"BLEEEP!" The sound of the loud honks coming from the cars behind them took Percy out of his crazy and wild bleep escapade. He quickly straightened on his chair, but before he could step on the gas, the stoplight went back to red. Breath in… Breath out…
-one second later-
Breath in… Breath out…
-another second later-
"You bleeping bleep! I bleeping bleep you!"
"Percy-"
"Ooh… A video cam…"