You'd better read this first or else you'll get even less of it.

Again, you don't necessarily have to know anything about the fictional works being used here. It certainly helps, though, but the plot is a bit...incomprehensible, so it doesn't help much other than to give you a few laughs and weird thoughts.

The next chapters will certainly be weirder in the way of introducing characters from other works for no apparent reason, confusing twists, penguins, grapes, etc.

I don't think you should really care if I get a character's personality wrong. It's supposed to be a strange story, so shouldn't that be somehow acceptable? Besides...there aren't many male characters yet. You should be happy about that.

T-rated...don't look at me that way. There isn't that kind of romance. There's just mild language, alcoholism, and possibly intense violence. And possibly some uncomfortably-confused response from the viewer. But don't worry, you'll make it out alive.

Lastly, if you've watched Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, you might just be disturbed the whole time you're reading this. Maybe it's a story you'd rather not read. But hey, shouldn't the title have warned you about this? I didn't have Steve Blum's voice in mind while writing this, having watched the sub and not the dub until listening to a...dumb three-second clip.

Now you're finally done reading this. Hopefully now you have the will to go on and read the story itself.

Part One: Hi.

(or: Lyd)

(or: Dragon's Nest)

(or: New School Old Weirdos)

(or: The Dancing Egg)

(or: Wish Me Luck, Then!)

(or: The Ghosthunter's Girl)

(or: Shadow in the Snow)

(or: Cat's Paper-Thin Disguise)

(or: Twisted Bond)

(or even: Nobody In Their Right Mind Would Dress Like That)

It was a snowy December day. Snow blanketed everything, and drizzled from above. Alone there stood a girl in a black coat that trailed behind her. It gave her a lonely look, which seemed to match her personality. Her long red hair was hidden within her hood. And all she did was wait for that bus to come.

"Hi!"

She turned to the side. A man dressed in little more than a purple jumpsuit and lighter-color coat-vest-thing stood by her now. It was cold outside. Nobody in their right mind would want to wear THOSE clothes outside at this time of year. There was something disturbing about him, especially the first time you looked at him; he had a sort of bean-shaped head and short, green hair that barely fell on his large forehead. He had a curvy, almost catlike mouth. His eyelids were painted with purple eyeshadow.

The girl jumped. She turned slightly to look at him, but almost jumped again. This boy's - ahem, this MAN'S - face was just so...weird. She;d seen a lot of weird things in her lifetime…but still.

He stepped closer saying, "I'm Leeron! You can-"

"Hi," she timidly said, backing away.

"What's yours?" he asked, looking down at her.

She looked down. Leeron's shoes were easier to look at. "Lydia," she said.

"You're the new girl, huh? Well, it's a pleasure to-" Before Leeron could finish speaking, the school bus arrived! Lydia went ahead of him, stepping through the just-tall-enough bus entrance. "Wait!" He had to duck down in order to get through the entrance.

She sat in one of the brown leather bus seats, alone, looking out the window. The view was stunning to her; they were passing by a wooded area now, and all of the trees were topped with layers of snow. She shifted her bag slightly to the side of her, so as to not get it crushed.

Leeron literally slammed into her bag as he scooted in beside her! "So what kind of things do you like?" he inquired. "Because I like-" Lydia pulled away from him, clutching her bag. It was shaking wildly! "Is there something dancing in your bag?" was Leeron's first question.

"N-no, it's my Pokemon Pinball game. It...vibrates, y'know." She accidentally took her Game Boy Advance out and revealed that the game wasn't what was doing that!

Leeron leaned incredibly hard on her bag! "I don't think that's what's causing the--"

There was a large CRACK sound.

Leeron backed away. "...What...just happened there? Are you keeping dancing eggs in there or something?"

"Don't ask, I'll tell you after school."

"..Alright. Whatever you say!" He winked and said, "You can trust Leeron!"

/VVVVV\

And just like that, it was after school. And it was still pretty snowy. On the bus Leeron was busy leaning on Lydia for a while. He tried, but failed to spark conversation. Lydia got off first, looked back for a second, and waited for him to follow. Leeron jumped out from behind and shouted, "HAII!!"

She turned around. "You don't scare me."

Hmm, he thought, I was sure that would at least startle her...

"Come on," Lydia said, trudging into the woods. Somehow her footsteps never made an impression in the snow. The forest trees, now devoid of leaves, gave the area an eerie feel. These two didn't seem to notice or care.

She suddenly stopped. Leeron turned around, hand on his chin. "Wait, here that?" she said. There was a tapping sound coming from her bag!

Leeron bent over and put his ear on the bag. "Tap-dancing eggs, maybe?" he guessed, badly.

"No, a dragon's egg."

"Oh! Dragons! Is that what this is about? That's a relief. I just thought it was going to be something worse." He simply shrugged the notion off!

Lydia opened the bag and revealed a bright orange egg. It was able to fit well in her two hands. The egg had a few cracks in it now. "The most feared of all dragon breeds, the magi."

Leeron examined the cracking egg, poking it and looking at it from every angle. "Most feared? What's this magi capable of, then?"

"The most powerful magic known to anything. It can kill in the blink of an eye."

"Oh." He was a bit surprised by this statement. "I'm not sure whether I've seen worse any more..."

"That is why a magi is not to be trifled with..."

The shell cracked more and more. Eggshell pieces began to topple off and into the snow. In a matter of moments a young dragon had emerged! It was small and orange, with sparkling blue eyes. It stared eagerly up at Leeron.

"...Amazing! I should have brought my camera with me, really! Oh well, no big loss~! Now what? Fun time with a young dragon?"

She shifted the holly dragon into her arms, sort of cradling it. "There is a whole nest of other eggs," Lydia said. "I don't want them to die..."

"A nest of these guys, huh?" He scratched the dragon under the chin. It looked like it enjoyed the gesture. "Do we go there every day after school and sit on them or something?"

"Not magis, all different breeds. Reds, golds, silvers, waters, pebbles, any breed you can think of."

Leeron got excited! "Are there any robot dragons? I know that's not physically possible, but is there a cyborg dragon? And is there one I can take home?"

"...Nnnnno cyborgs, sadly, and you can, but make sure to keep it hidden."

"Okay~! Remember what I said earlier! You can trust me with any of your secrets~!" His eyes glistened disturbingly. "So where's the nest!?"

"Over here." Lydia had bent over to reveal a wooden plank covering an opening. She lifted up the big, square plank and Leeron followed close behind. As it turned out, there was a staircase built into this place!

"This place needs some electricity," Leeron remarked, noticing the darkness.

The staircase ended, and Lydia flipped a switch on the wall. "No, I put in lights myself."

"Phew! I almost thought-" He looked at the large nest sitting on the ground. Only a trio of eggs were inside. He was immediately drawn to an egg split down the middle into the colors orange and blue. His eyes started glistening again!

"There are only a few left because of looters. This egg right here is a sun egg" - she pointed at the object of his admiration - "and this is a water egg" - she pointed to a soggy blue egg right next to it - "and this is a red egg." She lastly pointed to...a red egg. "Although there's over twenty dragon species."

"Oh, this sun egg is just beautiful! How did nobody steal this one before!?" He picked it up without hesitation.

"Suns are difficult to handle."

"There's nothing I can't handle, Lyd." He waggled his finger at her, having made up a new nickname.

"Plus, you can get two kinds of breeds from one egg, a sunrise or a sunset. If it hatches in the morning it's a sunrise, if it's after twelve P.M. it's a sunset."

"It'll have to hatch it in the morning! Nothing better than a new day, right?"

"Well, yeah, but each egg hatches on its own. You can't force it, 'cause if you do it'll die."

Leeron made a peace sign! "Wish me luck, then!"

"O...kay..."

"I'm so excited now! This egg is going to hatch into a big and BEAUTIFUL dragon!" He began to bound away on tiptoe, holding the egg high above him.

Lydia took off her hood, revealing her long, rusty red locks. They were so long, they nearly came down to her feet. She chuckled. "You are just so crazy!" She calmed down. "Wait! What are you gonna name it?"

Leeron zoomed back without really moving. "I'll have to think about that..."

"Mine is gonna be Aquellerie Spellweaver." She had given her dragon a strange and long name!

"Hmm...maybe Little Lee? How does that sound?"

"Well, what if it's a girl? Sunrises are generally girls, because of their colors, and sunsets are generally males. Sunrises are cream and pink, and the sunsets are blue and red."

"But then you'd say I'm a girl because I wear this outfit all the time!" Leeron laughed. "But if it's a girl she'll be Little Lee, too."

Lydia set her hatchling magi on the ground. She watched it scamper about the area. "Oh, you can have two of the eggs if you want. I claim the red one!" She picked it up and responded,"Jeez, this guy is warm."

"Oh! If I bring another home Little Lee can have a friend to play around with! Eh?" Leeron noticed the young magi sniffing his foot. It poked the shoe with one claw.

"Did I mention dragons are generally smarter than humans and can speak any language?"

"Smarter than me, you say? I'm jealous already!" The dragon Aquellerie was still sniffing his shoe. "Oh, this one's curious." He stepped away for a moment to pick up the water egg, and almost fail. "Woah! It's a slippery one! Not to worry, a mechanic always has a good grip!"

The dragon said telepathically, "Ohaithar."

Leeron looked confused for a moment, but Lydia laughed like a songbird. "Dragons speak telepathically."

"Oh!" He understood instantly, and laughed with her. "There's almost nothing funnier than chatspeak in my book!"

"Yep!"

"omg icanhaz foodz pl0x?"

Leeron set his egg on the table and rubbed the dragon's really scaly head. "Why, hello there, little guy...girl...you want food? Sorry, but Leeron doesn't have anything edible right now~ Unless you wanna follow Leeron home~!"

Lydia burst into laughter, giving the hatchling a piece of meat. It gobbled it up instantly! "om nom nom is gewd."

"What type of meat is that, anyways? Pigmole?"

"That, my friend, is bear's meat. Shot it myself.

"Bear? Never heard of just a BEAR bear before."

"They're actually quite common in the area, because I live in a place called 'Vermont'."

"...Well, I live in Vermont, too, now! What a coincidence!"

"Oh, really?"

"Yes, really! I go to your school, right?"

Lydia faceplamed. Her dragon nibbled on a second piece of meat. "om nom nom"

"Everyone gets things wrong sometimes, so don't worry! We're friends, right?" Friends...so Leeron was her first real friend here..."Unless you've anything else to talk about, I'm going home with my two new dragons." He yawned.

"Okay, bye," Lydia said as Leeron bounded off into the wilderness. She put her hood back on, stuffing all of her hair back under. She picked up her egg and hatchling, then disappeared into the tunnel in the back of the cave.

/VVVVV\

That next day, Lydia stood at the bus stop. She had Aqu, her troublesome-to-pronounce nickname for her magi, on a leash. She waited for the bus to come...and Leeron.

Something was different about Leeron today. He came really close and and said, What are you doing, walking your hairless ca- how could I not see it before? It's your dragon you showed me yesterday!"

"I told you to keep it a secret! So shush!" She noticed his new attire. "Why are you wearing that?"

"Oh, this?" He was referring to his all-black typical Japanese schoolboy uniform. "The school told me to wear this. Strangely nobody else wears any uniforms. Wonder why they told ME to?"

"Oh, uh, no idea. Also, did you know my father just bought the school so I had to go there?"

"Now I do!"

"Exactly how old are you?" Lydia asked. She'd been curious about that all night. Of course this guy was too old to be going to school...

"About 29, give-or-take."

"Holy shit." Lydia looked astonished. "I'm only eleven." Sure. She could easily pass for twenty-three.

"Heh!" was all Leeron could say to that. Lydia laughed and picked Aqu up. "Ah, on another subject, you wouldn't believe the size of what the boys from where I came from had to destroy every day."

"Destroy? Where I come from there is no destroying. Only peace."

"Yeah, destroy! Or hijack! Hijacking's more fun~!" Then the bus pulled up. He leaped on. Lydia smiled and got on after him. She sat in an empty seat with the dragon on her lap. For some reason, her father would allow his special little girl to bring a pet dragon to school. Leeron sighed, scooting in really close. "Oh, the stories I could tell you about where I'm from!"

Lydia gave him a "WTF" kind of face, and scooted away.

"Do you have any stories, Lyd?"

"Yeah."

"Ooh! Tell me some!"

"Well...I used to be a ghosthunter with my father, so we went to haunted places. I've seen a lot of creepy things like stuff moving without anything to move them, and other stuff, like apparitions."

Leeron leaned in closer. "Sometimes I wish I could have had to deal with ghosts instead. But then I figure it was all for the better. But like they say, life is what it is!"

"Yep," Lydia said bluntly, moving away a bit more. Leeron frowned a bit, wondering why she was pulling away. "Once when I was in an old hotel, a bookcase fell on me and there was this shiny stuff behind it which disappeared all of a sudden."

"I like shiny stuff! Tell me more." I snuggled closer.

"Well, it turns out the shiny stuff was actually a ghost, and my father collected some stuff off of the wall. It was dragondust. The stuff people grind from dragons' bones." She scooted away more.

Leeron had her pressed against the window with the sheer pressure of his face! "Chilling! this story is getting exciting now!" He made some weird excited hand movements.

Lyd rolled her eyes. "We later caught the ghost. It was the ghost of a dragonhunter from way back when. He escaped and killed my stepfather. And that's the end."

Leeron frowned and backed away. "Oh." They were quiet for a while. Lydia sighed and put Aqu down on the floor. Leeron poked the hatchling on the forehead, and it bit his finger softly. "Yeow! This one's a little nipper."

"That means she likes you. If she bites softly she likes you. If she bites hard she...doesn't."

"What if she doesn't bite you?" He put his finger to his lips.

"Uh, I dunno about that yet."

"We'll just have to wait and see!" Leeron leaned on her hard again. Not even scooting away slightly could save her now, because she was smashed again. And she just sat there, uncomfortably, until the bus let them out...

/VVVVV\

The only class Leeron and Lydia shared was English class. He spoke the language perfectly well, but Leeron was a failure in the subject. It was the only subject he didn't do well in.

"Pop quiz!" the teacher announced. Many grunts and sighs were heard.

He decided to not even try. Hopefully he wouldn't be passing the...MORAL BOUNDARIES.

Behind him sat Lyd, who was just breezing though it, of course. She snickered at his confused expression. Leeron asked a bit chillingly, "Can I copy off of you?"

"Uh, sure?" Lyd answered, and she positioned the paper so that it was easily readable for Leeron. With surprisingly blinding speed he copied down all of her answers!

I'll just take this the better way, he thought, satisfied with Lydian's correct-looking answers. Now I can trust her with my test answers! Our friendship has been taken to the next level!

He winked as he handed the teacher his test. "Done~!" Even when Lyd immediately followed, Ms. Teacherperson didn't suspect a thing...

Soon, there would be more confusion. More elements to be added into the twisting path. And ahead sat a raven, a bird in the snow…

And, you, you've already read the very first part of this. Don't tell me you have more questions about this...You say it made no sense? Well, didn't I already warn you about that?