Another inspired by Lizeth. This doesn't fit her prompt in the slightest but the prompt DID inspire this... does that count?

I don't own Star Trek or Kingdom Hearts. I just like making crack with them 3 and Merry Christmas/Holiday Equivalent to all!


The first thing Sora noticed when he woke up was that his head was trying to split itself open from the inside. The klaxons blaring weren't helping him any, either, as he looked up at a pale silver ceiling and tried to remember how he'd gotten there in the first place.

The second thing Sora noticed was that something didn't feel right. His clothes were too form-fitting, for one thing. He liked the bagginess of his proper clothes, it helped him move around. This whatever-it-was would only hinder him… or rip. Hopefully it wouldn't be in too embarrassing of a place.

The third thing Sora noticed was a pale face leaning into his field of vision, long and thin with elven ears sweeping back from his face. The Keyblade master blinked at this oddity, even as the elf reached down and pulled him to his feet with surprising strength.

"Captain, the enemy vessel is approaching with weapons armed and we are awaiting your orders," the elf said in a near-monotone voice. Sora looked around for this Captain (hopefully without any pirates in tow) but found there was no one else behind him.

"Say what?" he asked blankly. The elf only turned his face towards a large screen he hadn't noticed before, set at the front of some kind of bridge and showing one large Heartless vessel (and one of the big kinds, too, like those Dreadnaughts protecting Twilight Town the last time). Said vessel looked ready to pummel them into goo, disoriented Keyblade master aside.

"Orders, Captain!" the elf said patiently, only a subtle intonation turning the statement into an urgent command. Sora wondered at his ability to pick up on things like this but found the attention of everyone in the room on him.

"But--" Sora protested. He was cut off by the Heartless vessel attacking them, knocking him back on his butt. His body didn't move how he wanted it to, and suddenly he was hit with a sneaking suspicion. First things first, though. "Attack it! Its power generators are in the rear, so try and hit it there. Let's take it out before it calls for help!" he snapped at a random person. The person pointed to someone else a few rows down, but Sora's command had been heard. Red beams began lancing out towards the Heartless vessel. Satisfied, the Keyblade master turned towards the elf, the first person he'd seen on this crazy ship. "You! What's your name, first?"

The elf only blinked. "Captain, are you certain you're alright?"

"I don't know yet, and calling everyone 'you' isn't going to work. And I don't think you'll like 'Elf.' So what's your name?"

"Spock," the elf replied, upswept eyebrow tilting upwards ever so slightly.

"Good, Spock. Name's Sora. Can I have a mirror?" Sora glanced around at the people looking at him like he was crazy and made a face. "Can we deal with the Heartless BEFORE we start staring at me?"

One by one people turned back to their stations. Spock tapped his arm and Sora accepted the mildly shiny bit of metal the elf handed him, studying his reflection thoroughly.

Short-cropped hair that had seen better days. An older face that looked prone to smiling, if Sora was any judge. A yellow shirt with an odd crest over his chest. And, looking down, Sora saw that he was wearing tight black pants and boots.

Well, crap.

"I think my friend Donald screwed up his spell epicly this time," Sora said grimly, handing the metal back to Spock. "He was trying an appearance-altering one, but I think he ended up with a body-swapping one instead."

An explosion resounded through the room and, glancing over at the screen, Sora saw the Dreadnaught spiraling into bits of space junk. There were a few smaller Heartless ships but they were dispatched easily enough, and that left everyone on the bridge to stare at Sora like he'd grown an extra head.

"All right," Sora said to everyone, looking around. "In case you didn't hear, my name's Sora. Your Captain's mind is safe… probably," he added as an afterthought. "Don't let Donald cook for him," he prayed silently to Kairi. "We'll probably get swapped back soon, maybe, so until then you're stuck with me. Now can someone tell me who I am, where I am, and if there are any Heartless around?"

Sora really should have expected to be locked in a cabin.