Twilight Saga: Midnight Snack, as told by Charlie

Chapter 1

The rain poured onto my windshield as if Poseidon's mighty wand splashed a typhoon onto Stunk Road in Forks. Forks is where I have always lived, and I am proud of Forks because I am Sheriff. I am Chuck, and today a daughter of mine, Bella, will be visiting me in Forks, where I live. She is from Arizona where she lives with her maternal mother and Ball Player Fred. She is moving to Forks with me because Fred travels from field to field for ball games and Bella is tired of moving from field to field, so she has decided to live with me in Forks for stability. I have Bella in the car because I picked her up from the airport in Forks after a long airplane ride from Arizona where she lived with her family. Little does Bella know, I have obtained a truck from Billy the Cripple, who is a wheelchair-bound skip-generation Wolf who will later battle with Edward Cullen, the local Doctor's son, who is an old soul: a 100 year old Vampire who passed away during the Great War from Spanish Influenza in 1919. However, his Father (husband of former 90210 star Jenny Garth) Peter Facinelli had Edward eat Mystic Fruit that saved his life, but made him forever entwined in Forks and the surrounding Forestry in order to fight the Wolfgang Mozarts, a roving gang of WolfMen led by Bill and his pet wolf, Jacob. The truck will be given to Bella in hopes that she will cook me food for ever after.

Chapter 2

All went well! I gave Bella her truck and she motored around Stunk Road for hours and hours, admiring her automobile. She then cooked me a Meat Sandwich made of ham, pork, beans, steak, and codfish. I can die a happy man with all this food!

Chapter 3

Well today Bella met Edward Cullen. How do I know? Word gets around fast in a small town like this. In chemistry class today, Edward was acting difficult toward my daughter, Bella, because he is a vampire who is interested in drinking her blood and eating her. I am not happy with Edward, but he is an older man than I, thus is worthy of respect. Tonight, Bella cooked me Beef Stroganoff with a side helping of beans and ham sandwiches.

Chapter 4

Today was a showdown of sorts between the Wolfgang Mozarts and the rival Vampire gang. The Wolfgang Mozarts, led by Billy the Cripple in his motorized scooter (for combat, rather than his standard manual wheelchair for pleasure), invaded a ball game held at Durth Point Ball Field in northern Forks where the Cullen Vampire family were enjoying a picnic and ball game in the rain. Wolfman Jacob attacked Edward and hurt him. Luckily, Edward's father Peter always carries more Mystic Fruit in case of emergencies. Upon eating the fruit, Edward leaped back up and ate Jacob. Billy and the rest of the Wolfgang retreated, never to be seen again. I am glad I got the truck off of Billy while I still had the chance. Without that truck, Bella would not have been willing to cook me pork tenderloin with a side of mashed potatoes and crinkle-cut fries this evening for dinner, nor would I have gotten my Midnight Snack of creamed cheese.