Ok, so I'm sat alone in my room feeling and looking like crap. It's Christmas in one hour and I feel like I've been hit by a large four-legged creature running at about 150 mph.

And my ear hurts.

So EXCUSE me for wanting to spread my pain!

Ear ache-ahoy!

The world is such a dull place.

With dull colours and dull smells.

Nothing is bright, nothing stands out to me.

Except the red shimmer of blood.

And that is it.

"The heaters broken"

"Oh ok"

"Want to sleep down here tonight?"

"Yeah"

Can you tell I'm lying?

The heater is fine, just turned off.

We can sleep next to each other.

I feel like a five year old who just got the biggest piece of cake.

God, look at me.

Look at how pathetic i am.

We are in the middle of a war.

(Well in the middle of searching for Aizen, then we can have a war)

But anyway.

I'm supposed to be concerned about training.

About getting stronger.

About protecting people.

But all I care about right now is getting into your pants.

'Don't be stupid' I tell myself. 'Be a man, for Christ's sake!'

Men have dicks, my hollow taunts. We like to put them in tight, warm, wet things.

You're standing by the stove with a can of beans in your hand.

I have a raging boner.

Come on king! Pin her down!

'This isn't right though, I'm supposed to be protecting her!'

This whole feelings business.

It's quite confusing.

Part of me wants to fuck you.

Hard.

Harder.

Another part of me just wants to silently sit next to you as you eat your Beans and butter your toast.

Like I said.

It's quite confusing.

"Rukia, I'm feeling a bit sick."

You look up at me from your plate of Beans on toast.

"I'll sleep upstairs - It's... closer to the bathroom."

"Ichigo... Are you ok?"

I hope you didn't hear me whimper just now.

"Yeah, just a bit nauseous."

You set down your knife and fork.

"I'll sleep upstairs with you."

"No!" I slam my fist down.

You look surprised for a moment then-

"Ichigo"

You say the words slowly.

"I'm sleeping with you tonight."

When did I shut down?

"Because I want to."

When did my mind and body become so out of sync?

"Because I like you very much."

Since when have I been scared of surrendering to my human side?

My human needs.

My desires.

Things... I have always wanted.

The edge.

So close.

So fucking close...

I stop again, holding you're thrashing wrists firmly in my hands.

Over and over I bring you to your peak.

The highest high.

The edge, again

But I never let you tumble over.

I kiss and caress you all over.

More and more... I want to hear your screams...

Then I stop and you thrash again.

Always the moment of disappointment, of dissatisfaction.

But I lower my body and my lips once more.

Your contented sigh, when our tongues finally touch;

Rukia, I will remember until the day I die.

You start to scream again, just when I was planning to pause.

Your legs grip my hips like a vice; your nails bite my skin.

"Don't stop, you bastard!"

Seeing this side of you, I don't want to stop either.

You're already sobbing in your long-awaited orgasm.

But what you're sobbing-

My name I realize.

"Ichi-Ichigo, Oh Gods, Ichigo..."

Just my name.

No orders.

"Ichigo, you've got to attack him quickly! Finish it! FINISH IT, ICHIGO!"

No death threats.

"You fool... so pathetic... taste death now, Ichigo-kun..."

Nothing.

Just my name.

I feel so warm.

The cold shiver is gone.

My breathing hitches and I cry out.

I mean really cry out.

Like this is my last scream for help.

My last plea for someone to save me.

Did I forget?

I think I did.

I'm not a soldier.

I'm fifteen.

"I really like you too, Rukia."

I am human after all.

MWAHAHAH!

Behold! You feeling the mystic workings of the ear-ache-curse yet?

No? Then read it again, fool!

Yes? The only cure is by leaving a review. Mwaahahah... Ok so it's not but-never mind...

I tried to make the smut scene erotic at first but when I realized I had failed profusely I thought 'what the hey, tragic Ichigo is cool too!' And so this baby was born! Ohmigod! It's just like Jesus!