'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring,

(not even a mouse.)

The stockings were hung by the neighbors' chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

But one little boy was alone next door,

Think only about what happened before.

He'd never gotten presents, he was always alone,

He spent every Christmas depressed at home.

"What's it all for?" he asked with a sigh,

"Because no one for me, a present will buy..."

He pondered and pondered this annoying problem,

While the author put in a filler, while writing this poem.

Cause finding rhymes is not always easy,

And it doesn't help that his masseuse is sleazy.

Back to Naruto we go on in this poem,

Now I have to find something that rhymes with poem...

"Never mind," the author said with a sigh,

"I'd probably think better, if I just got high."

Naruto pondered, and perked at a noise,

He turned around at the sound of a voice.

On instinct, he threw a sharp blade,

At the figure in the window, who cast a dark shade.

A grunt and a thump indicated a kill,

A true testament to Naruto's skill.

It turned out however, the intruder wasn't dead,

'Cause he raised on of his arms, along with his head.

"Bad Naruto, you just became a naughty boy,

What you wished, you won't get, not even a toy."

Chuckling with mirth, the man in red gave a smile,

He wouldn't get up, for a very long while.

"You wanted to know, the meaning of Christmas,

Now you will remain utterly witless.

Now that you've killed me, I just want you to know,

I wish you a Merry Christmas, and ho-fucking-ho!"

And that was the end for the jolly St. Nick,

Just for good measure, Naruto gave him a hard kick.

He threw the man out the window, with a mighty heave,

He put on his jacket, and got ready to leave.

Then he stopped, and thought about the roof,

If the Santa was real, he needed some proof.

He headed up, and discovered with dread,

There on the roof, was Santa's own sled.

"Well, aren't I in a mighty fine pickle?"

Some sweat appeared on his temple, though only a trickle.

Then he discovered, with infinite glee,

Presents on the sled, and all of them free.

For Naruto was Santa's first stop,

Naruto happily cried, with a joyous hop.

"All the presents are mine," he exclaimed with a smile.

He took all the presents, and gathered them in a pile.

"So this is what Christmas is really all about?

Killing jolly old fat men, it's true without a doubt!"

He discovered deep down, among the presents,

Scrolls on Ninjutsu, 10 of every element.

Weapons and booze, it was fun for the child,

and as he consumed all the liquor, it was time to get wild.

He left his house, locking the door,

And he drunkenly walked off, needing a whore.

For as a teenager, he was getting horny,

The only rhyme I can think of, is actually corny.

As he walked, he whistled a tune and shouted, "Hurray!"

And he idly wondered, if Sasuke was gay.

He'd run off, to join up with the snake,

Naruto wondered if it was only his hand, the Uchiha wanted to shake.

He found his whore, and enjoyed the night,

In everyone's opinion, he did what was right.

It is with this, I only wish to say,

That I wish you a Merry Christmas, and yes, Sasuke is gay.