A/N: Yay, another Secret Santa completed! I do not have to be tortured, yay! 8D Jean Cooper, I am your Secret Santa, mwuhaha! So I got to work right away on a fluffy funny Owen/Angela for you~ I think it's way sappy, but, well, I tried. XD;; Hope you enjoy it!

The Subtle Art of Romance

Okay, so, truth is, I have no knowledge on the art of wooing.

Nada. Zip. Zilch. See, the way I see it, in regards to skill, there are three basic starting levels: first up are the people who have a natural knack for the skill. Like a person who is born with a really nice singing voice. Or a person who naturally tans instead of being subject to awful, painful sunburn that trails all the way down their body and cracks at the slightest movement, creating a hot, sharp pain in that entire area and leaving the person generally hating their life as they try to work through the pain while adopting the appearance of a glowing red lobster.

(Working on the fields in summer gives you a lot of sun exposure, so kindly shut your mouth and let me wallow in my sun burnt bitterness. But I digress.)

Then there's the majority-- the people in the middle. The people who are not amazing as soon as they start, but with practice can become pretty good and hone their skills to their liking.

Then there's the second minority, the third group, and the group that I am in, in regards to romance-- the people who just don't get it. I'm not saying it's always a lost cause for these people, but they have no sense about the subject whatsoever and have to work really hard to improve. It's unlucky, unfortunately, and all of my time is spent making a living on my farm. I've no time to study trashy romance novels, thank you very much.

And yes, there is a reason I've made all this romantic exposition, for two reasons.

One, I'm hopelessly in love.

Two, I have no idea what to do about it.

"You've gotta appeal to what he wants," Selena had said when I'd asked her for advice, grinning slyly as she balanced a martini glass between her fingers. "Drive him nuts, make him need you."

My reaction was an appropriate, in my opinion, what the hell are you talking about? I think she was drunk that day. Must have been five o'clock. Somewhere, anyways.

Ooh, cool, I got a nice and shiny green wonderful. I held it up to my visage, grinning. I heard a few bats flutter from within the cave and glanced about, dropping the wonderful into my rucksack and readying my hammer. Pssh, they won't be getting me, those damn bloodsuckers. But, to be fair, I should be used to them. They're everywhere in the Ganache mine.

I spotted a rock in the corner of my eye and grinned eagerly. I jogged over, raising my hammer above my head.

"RAAAAAAAAAH!!" I screeched, hearing the bats rustle again as the hammer came down, smashing the rock. Yes, I scream like a maniac when I hit things with hammers, don't you?

The jolt from the impact ran through my body, and I shuddered a bit. My body felt pretty weak today...usually I was fine spending hours in the mine, but today I felt warm and weak...call me stubborn, but I will not get sick!

...But the best thing to do would be to clear out my rucksack now, since it's getting filled. Not just saying that just to take a break, or to see a certain boy, and certainly not planning on killing two birds with one stone. No waaaay.

I felt worse after I traveled up the stairs. Fatigue and dizziness were building rapidly and each step felt heavier than the last. Ugh, I've really done it this time...I hope I can even make it home...

It felt like hours later when I reached the top level, panting heavily and feeling even more feverish. I put my hands on my knees, taking a moment to gather myself. I suddenly sensed a figure run up to me, and felt a hand on my back.

"Hey, Angela...are you okay?"

I shot straight up and turned redder, silenced for a moment. "Uh-- ah, hi Owen!" I said awkwardly, shying away from his touch. Ohhh, he looked so sweet and concerned; he was such a teddy bear. I always fell for nice guys, but Owen, I'd really fallen for, like no one else before. Of course, I'd never really gotten far with it, since I acted like either a bumbling idiot around him, or my naturally awful personality was afoot. But he was one of my closer friends here, since I was always at the mine. (For sheer business reasons...I swear I'm not a stalker.) "Ah, uh, yeah, I'm okay, yeah..."

He frowned, obviously not believing me. "Come on now, your face is totally red...! Are you sick?"

Could be a good time for a corny lovesick joke, but I am above such sappiness. I huffed, prodding him away with my large hammer. "'Ey, 'ey, I said I'm fine, so I'm fine." To prove my point, I tried to walk off and successfully stumbled and landed on my ass. Yeah, I'm smooth like that.

He hovered above me, looking both concerned smug. I blushed for the natural reason that he was in the vicinity, along with being annoyed. "Oh, shut up..." I mumbled.

He didn't say anything, instead opting to act like the big macho man and pick me up bridal style. I turned redder, yelping. "Hey! Let me go, you oaf!" Natural personality, yup. I'm so nice. I have to learn to stop with the insults, especially to someone I'm madly in love with. What am I, tsundere? If so, I am so not the cute type. Luna can pull that off better and be adorable.

"No way," he said. "Come on, I'll bring you back to your house and you can get a nice rest." He smiled, starting to walk toward the exit, and I was silent for a moment, blushing and just thinking about how goddamn cute he was.

"I will not be carried like this all the way home!" I yelled, flailing a bit in his arms. Gyah, but I secretly loved it. He was so warm, and he didn't even flinch when I struggled. I tried to will myself to say thanks, but pride is my best friend and worst enemy when it comes to that.

He looked a bit confused. "Huh...you don't like being carried like this?"

I crossed my arms. Yes, I really like it, I'm just being obnoxious, I willed myself to say. "Nuh uh. Quit being so macho," I snarled. Inward facepalm, commence.

"Hmm..." Suddenly he hoisted me over his shoulder, awkwardly carrying me like someone carrying a potato sack. "But isn't this more uncomfortable?"

I covered my face with my hand, sighing inwardly. It certainly was, since I had no excuse to cuddle up to him. I had to open my big mouth, didn't I? "Just take me hoooome, dammit." He obliged kindly, with me glaring at anyone staring at us on the way there.

"You can leave now," I mumbled, clutching the covers from my bed as he rooted around the kitchen. Gah! Why did I say that? That's the opposite of what I wanted!

By some blessed work of the Harvest Goddess, I think he didn't hear me. "Hey, can I make you some soup? You seem like you have a fever, so it might help..."

Wait, wait, I think, despite my minimal love knowledge, that this is a cliché! Let me try to think through this damn foggy head of mine...yeah, the guy acts all cool and helps the sick girl and they get really close! I scowled a bit, though. I didn't like playing the girl. But I should shut up and try it.

"You don't gotta do anything," I mumbled.

He laughed, and I smiled a bit, though I still didn't look over at him. "Aw, now, don't say that, Angela! Everyone gets sick sometimes; you should let me help. Don't act all big; it never works. We're friends, aren't we?"

"Oh, don't read me so well," I said, sighing. "Vegetable soup...?"

"Sure!" he said, grinning. I smiled weakly back, and he got to work.

"Huh...I didn't know you could cook," I said from my bed.

"Eh, I learned eventually...and soup's not hard," he said.

I clenched and unclenched at my blankets, searching my head for other conversation topics. "It's getting cold lately," I finally said awkwardly. Oh, Goddess, Angela, really? The weather?

Owen humored me, thankfully, saying good-naturedly, "Yeah, it really is! I don't mind it so much...did it get so cold from where you came from?"

"Yeah, I guess...I prefer spring weather, though..." I mumbled.

"That's when you came, wasn't it?" His grin was ever present. "Heh, everyone here makes such a big deal when new people arrive. That's a surefire sign of a small town. But it's been a lot nicer here, ever since you came."

My face reddened considerably. "Wh-what do you mean by that!" It came out sounding almost accusatory. Owen chuckled from the kitchen. It was really a good thing that he was used to me and my mean self. "Corny," I mumbled.

"Unlike you, I let myself get corny from time to time," he said sweetly.

"Pssh, gay."

"I am not!"

"Well, I don't see you with a girlfriend to disprove me," I said.

He had a knowing smile on his face, and I looked away, glaring at the wall. "Maybe not yet, but you don't see me with a boyfriend, either."

I pouted, looking down at my blanket. That girlfriend probably wouldn't be me in the future. Guh, romance is so complicated. So many mixed signals. I wish I could be more blunt about it...unless that's bad...I don't know...how did this cliché go again? What should I do next?

"But it is true," he said. "You're working really hard, and really making the town prosper again. Everyone's really thankful."

"...You're being even cornier now."

"Oh, take the damn compliment." He grinned weakly. "Hey, I know we hang out a lot, but do you just tolerate me because you're at the mine all the time? Do you not like me?"

"What the hell?" I blinked, wondering where that came from. He should know by now not to take me seriously. "Of course I like you, you're like a freaking saint with how nice you are." That was actually not very insulting. I wanted to pat myself on the back for a job well done. "You're like my best friend, if you care to know."

He grinned happily. "Corny," he commented.

"Oh, fuck you," I said brashly, turning away from him and laying down. "Where's my damn soup, anyways? You'll probably burn it."

"It's just about done, what do you want to drink?"

"I want you to go out and buy me the finest wine you can find, and serve me in the best glass in this whole entire town," I said sarcastically. "And there should be candles. I want atmosphere, you. And I want it fast, chop chop."

He laughed heartily, bringing out my soup and putting it on the table next to the bed. "You're so cute."

...Now that's not exactly what I was expecting. And neither was him kissing me on the forehead.

Oh Goddess, my face may has well have exploded. He asked me if water was okay, and I vaguely remember nodding...or did I take a good five minutes to blurt out yes? Either way, I looked like a tomato. Fuck him and his cute self, I'd get diabetes at this rate. Even after he finally left, I was still blushing madly.

It was the next day, not nearly as cold, and I felt a whole lot better, so I was walking down to the mine again. I was probably just overworked yesterday, and rest did me good. I wasn't feeling as nervous as usual, just really, really excited. I had always had that giddy little feeling going to the mine, but today, I had decided to give a big fuck you to the conventional subtle ways of love, because I don't know how to be subtle.

"Oi, Owen," I called, entering the mine. He was headed toward the stairs, but he stopped and looked back at me.

"Oh, hey Angela!" he said, smiling and jogging up to me. I blushed a little, but didn't let any thought stop me. It was time to be either really smart or really stupid. Or both.

I pointed at him. "Be my boyfriend." Oh Harvest Goddess, it really is just like me to sound demanding about it.

He looked confused. "You mean I'm not already?"

I blushed madly, looking annoyed. "I-I never said you were before, dumbass! Why would you think that??"

Owen was laughing as I spoke indignantly. "I'm just kidding, duh. Of course. How can I refuse when you ask so nicely?" Before I could retort, he brought one arm around my waist, pulled me close, and rudely interrupted me by kissing me.

...Well then. That went...a lot better than expected. Don't know what I was expecting, but definitely not this.

He let go of me and broke off the kiss, blushing a bit and generally looking so damn cute. I threw my rucksack at him, and he looked a bit confused.

"All right then, as first boyfriend duty, carry my stuff...let's go mining for a bit."

At that, he looked worried. "Are you sure you're feeling up to it?"

At that, I kissed him, mostly because now I had an excuse to. Totally milking it for all it's worth. "Yes," I said, breaking it off, "so shut up and help me, because you know you totally want to." Goddess, I'm such a genius at romance, obviously. I should write a book. In the meantime, he just sighed then chuckled, accepting his horrible fate.

A/N: Feedback always appreciated!