Disclaimer: CLAMP.
Dedication: To my dear Chelle-sama, even though this will hurt her
greatly; I'm so sorry. Gomennasai. And to all the people who read and reviewed Haikei and Kitaku.
I'm sorry, Kaho haters. As for those of you who like Kaho...I hope you
agree with what I've done here. For more info on my relationship with
Mizuki-sensei, check out the Introspection on my webpage. We WILL be
seeing Kaho again (a little bit, not focused on like this) in some of the other
Third Arc stories.
Notes: One of 'Third Arc'. Takes place six or so years after the
events in Kitaku.
Translation on the title: [kahou] (adj-na,n) good fortune/luck/happiness.
Who doesn't love JEDI?
Additional note: All 'Third Arc' stories will have a Japanese title,
it'll set them apart from non 'Third Arc' stories. And there are some
forth coming. ^.^ And this, like almost all of those stories
in 'TA', can be read as a stand-alone.
Kahou
She sees him the way she first did. A frisson of power-sense up her spine and a shadow out the corner of her eye. Then, all those years ago, he was brilliantly beautiful, striding across the University campus as though he'd owned it, a faint and knowing smile on his lips. He wasn't yet hers and he isn't hers now. It aches inside her. He is still beautiful.
"Mizuki-sensei!" She turns to the excited voice with a small amount of dread. She's only been back for a month and hasn't exactly made an announcement. She's been getting the 'I didn't know you were back!' reaction all evening. Terada-sensei and his wife are grinning at her from the front of the fortune booth. Rika is beaming. "We heard that you were back, but I didn't expect to see you at work already!"
"I'm taking over the running of the Tsukimine Shrine." She smiles at them pleasantly. "My parents and I decided that now would be a wonderful time to reacquaint myself with Tomoeda." Her parents had decided, really. This day was one she'd rather have avoided; the crowds, the happy families. One happy family in particular. "Would you like your fortunes?" She holds out the canister to them, still smiling, even though she'd rather not.
Rika continues to beam at her. "No, thank you. We took fortunes when the other Mizuki-sensei was here." Her father had manned the booth only briefly, when the festival first opened. Kaho wishes that he'd stayed. "We were actually on our way to the Bird Pond when I saw you and we stopped to say 'hello'." She lifts a small cage and smiles wistfully at the wren inside. "We've a gift for Great-Grandmother." A wren for luck, she thinks and wonders why two such happy looking people need luck from an ancestor. She thinks of asking, but dismisses the idea. It isn't her business. Only, as priestess, it is. She will have to ask her mother, who surely knows all the troubles of such a good patroness, but she thinks it might have to do with the dark spot on Rika that is visible only to her inner-self.
"But I think I might have a gift for you." Terada recalls her to herself when he nods thoughtfully at the temple. "I know several students who need extra work in Math. They might be persuaded to help you here in exchange for study-groups." She doesn't need to follow his gaze to know that he is studying the disrepair of the shrine. In the ten years since she first left Japan her parents have seemed to age rapidly and she knows that upkeep at Tsukimine has fallen to the wayside. It isn't falling down in shambles, but it is a lot of work.
"A kind offer, Sensei." She bows so that they will take their cue and leave. She'd rather spend her days working here, alone for the most part, than face the active social life of town. For the first time she regrets deciding to take the Shrine. "Perhaps we'll speak of it in more detail at a less festive time." Her eyes catch her reason for solitude as Rika and Terada-sensei move towards the Pond and the now-closed bath house.
He's still wearing a smile, but now it is not a secret smile. It's open and happy and aimed just over two-feet above the ground where his son is chattering and clapping over the water-balloon toys. He isn't standing tall; he's bent at the waist, wrapping tiny, baby fingers around the fishing rod meant to hook out a prize. The boy, two in autumn, is trying his best to snag a toy, but the game is difficult for even older children and he is not doing well. The baby, his son, isn't angry. Instead he's studying the hook closely. He looks like Eriol, except for the color of his eyes.
A shadow falls across her face even as a glow brightens her mind. "Kaho." Touya's warm fingers wrap around her own. "Gaijin said you were coming home." Across the way, Eriol sneezes violently and she eyes Touya.
"Gaijin?" She touches his mind briefly and finds only affection, warmth, a sense of family. "Gaijin, is it?"
He looks pained. "It's either that or admit that I like him and the Gaki." She can't help laughing lightly as he rolls his eyes. "Aside from that," he mutters, changing the subject with no grace at all, "it's good to have you home again. It's been so long I was beginning to think that you'd forgotten." His smile is warm and real but she doesn't see it for more than a moment when they are both turning to look at the water balloon tank; a roaring cheer has filled the air. Akizuki Nakuru has removed her shoes, hiked her kimono above her knees and is now wading into the water.
"Oh, my goodness!" She's horrified and yet it's oddly funny to watch Akizuki-san intent on capturing the red and gold swirled balloon. "What in the world does she think she's about in there?"
Akizuki's voice has not gotten any quieter with time passed. "Reed-chan! Reed-chan!" She's splashing her way to Eriol and his child, jubilant and leaving cresting waves in her wake. "I got it!" Kaho cannot help her smile as Akizuki diligently winds the loop of thread around the hook. "You caught it!" Another general cheer goes up as Akizuki proceeds to help some of the other small children, chasing after other dearly-wanted toys to the calls of 'One for me, Oneesan! That one! I love you, Oneesan! Sensei, sensei, me too!'
Touya is shaking his head, even though he's laughing. "And they wonder why she's such a popular teacher." He either sees or senses her shock because his eyebrows are knitting together in a frown. "You didn't know? But how..."
She doesn't want to talk about why she doesn't know these things he thinks are commonplace. It would mean admitting that she does not read the letters that have managed to find their way to her. It would mean telling him that she has not allowed her parents to tell her much of what is happening in Tomoeda. "I might not be staying." She murmurs, thinking of his earlier comment. He frowns, but is interrupted before he can say more than 'why?'.
"Touya-kun! Are we getting our fortunes?" Akizuki-san has flung herself, and a great deal of damp, across Touya's back. "Mizuki-sensei!" She beams radiantly. "It's good you're back. Now we can all have good fortunes instead of the ones Eriol thinks are funny." It's like pulling off a band-aid; a quick sting and then a settling, tingling numbness. She thinks for a moment that she will say something cold and biting to Akizuki for such a turn, but remembers the unexpected comfort offered in the darkness of a brightly-lit hotel room, the soothing hand and whispered words of hope. And Touya is holding her, hitching her up to rest more comfortably and giving her a tasking look that is nevertheless filled with affection.
"His sense of humor always had something lacking." She agrees with a faint nod. "You wanted your fortune?" She offers the canister with a small, peace-offering, smile. There has always been a good reason behind the removal of bandages. "Let's see your luck." She continues as she reaches for Akizuki's fortune, though she already knows what it is. There is no longer an enemy to you. The time for old feelings to take their place in the past has come and gone without notice.
Akizuki slides down from her perch and frowns. "It says that a friend is bringing me stars and butterflies and a promise of sweetness."
"It does not!" Touya reaches to grab it but misses as Akizuki dodges him and skips back a step, tucking the fortune away. Kaho cannot help the giggle that threatens. It's been a long time since she has seen this much joy. Even if it's not her own, it's good to see. She thinks, now, that maybe her mother was right when she said that she'd been too shut-away with grief.
"It does so. See!" With a wild wave towards the midway-games, Akizuki winks at Touya. "There's Yukito-kun with Chiyochohoshi-chan and he promised to buy us sherbets after they finished at the shooting booth." She darts off with another cheery wave, this time for herself and Touya. "Yukito-kun! You promised me a frozen sweet! Touya-kun is going to make sure you hold your word!" Kaho watches as Touya's love grabs hold of Akizuki's hand, laughing and gesturing and talking about ice cream.
The girl beside them, perhaps six, perhaps older, is grinning. She turns to wave at Touya as well. "Oniichan, come on! Oniisan is going to get us..." The girl trips in the most amazing display of clumsiness that Kaho has ever seen. Ever. "Daijoubu!" She calls, Kaho swears, before she even hits the ground. Touya sighs.
"And we used to think it was funny that it was her first word." He bows to her with a rueful smile as Takashi-san comes bolting out of the crowd, followed by Mihara-san--no, they must have married by now, she thinks. Both Takashi-sans are helping the child to her feet. "Oh, that's going to need stitches too." He shakes his head.
"There's nobody on attendance at the festival." Kaho winces as the girl examines her bleeding knee with great interest. "You'll have to try to find an open office to take care of her."
Touya shakes his head, even as he leaves. "Takashi-sensei will have her taken care of in no time. And Chiharu-sensei will stay here in case there are anymore accidents. They say it's good training." He waves. "Oi, Chiyochohoshi! Quit making work for the doctors. They treat people, not yajuu."
Kaho giggles to herself. "Some things change..."
"Some things stay ever the same." An amused voice finishes. Eriol. Smiling gently and holding his son in one arm and standing right in front of the booth. "Hello, Kaho." His voice is soft, hesitant. He's unsure of the welcome she will offer him; with good reason, she acknowledges, as she doesn't know herself.
"Eriol." It's hard to say his name. She thinks it often, but she hasn't said it once since the day she left. The day he left her first. "I'm surprised to see you here without..." she thinks 'your wife' but she's willing to take a page from Akizuki-san's book. "Tomoyo-san. From the way my parents talk, you and she haven't been able to attend a festival together since your wedding. I'm surprised you aren't taking advantage of not being pressed into work."
She's shocked him, she realizes with a small bit of glee. He's gaping for nearly thirty-seconds before he blinks and smiles. A blinding smile, the pleased, happy smile she hasn't provoked in years. "She's in Hong Kong; she and Sakura-san have a few details to iron out with the company that publishes 'Magic-Magic Girl'."
"No Mama." The boy in his arms suddenly protests. "Mama bye-bye with Auntie." He holds out one hand with a charming smile. "My fortune, please. Reed get fish. Fish fortune."
She reaches for the special fortunes reserved for small children, aching with the bitter-sweetness of this child. "Well, we'll have to see what you draw. A good draw means that you've been a good boy. But you look like a good boy, so I think you'll be lucky." She smiles, eyes tracing the dimpled cheeks and the curve of that tiny mouth. The odd blue-purple eyes that aren't Eriol's and are most definitely not hers.
The boy makes an aggrieved face, the type of long-suffering face that Spinel always wore after being pressed into service for some menial task. "I good boy all the time. That why I get fish fortune for fish." He eyes the plastic baggies of water and fish in a passer-by's hand meaningfully. "And then fish sleep in my bed." He grasps the container of fortunes and shakes it hard, eyes narrowed in focus. He pauses briefly to shake his bangs out of his eyes and glare at his father. "You no cheat! Reed gets fish, no Papa say no fish."
Eriol rolls his eyes cheerfully. "Of course I wasn't going to try anything!" But he winks at Kaho and she watches his eyes slid to half mast.
"Take your own fortune and let him get his." She hands him the other canister with a thump and a laugh.
"Take one for yourself, then." She laughs, happy to be here, with him and this baby. If she pictured things just a bit differently...she grabs the other canister and her fortune, but decides to wait for him and Reed. They'll do it all together. He's shaking out his fortune as Reed manages to get his own out and unrolled. It's a picture of a smiling face and a message about being happy with family.
"Fish!" The boy crows happily. "See, Papa!" He pushes his fortune close to Eriol's eyes. "See! Reed happy for fish!" He leans forward until his tiny nose is pressed to her own. "Thank you for fish fortune." He says gravely. She smiles, leaning away from him and a light tap of her fingers changes the ink on the paper from words to a picture of a swimming fish. She watches Reed's look of delight with one of her own and puts her fingers over his when he taps the paper in imitation of her gesture. "I want fish with big tail. Big tail float like Mama's hair."
Kaho steps back, firmly reminded of what a foolish thing she's been thinking. Her hair is in a braid, as she wears it nearly everyday now. "What's like Mama's hair?" An amused voice serves to drive the point home even more decisively. Tomoyo is standing a few feet away, beaming at the man and boy that Kaho has just been day-dreaming about.
"MAMA!" His joy now makes his expression from moments ago a pale shadow. "Mama! I get fish fortune! I say Papa no cheat and I get fish!" He squirmed his way to the ground and ran excitedly into his mother's open arms, waving his paper excitedly. He climbed into her arms and hugged her. "Fish sleep in my bed!"
Eriol is walking away from her, his face wreathed in pleasure. "Tomoyo! You're not due back until Tuesday!" He steps up to kiss his wife and Kaho fumbles for the 'back soon' sign.
"Sakura-san and Li-kun insisted that I come home right away and tell you some very interesting news." Tomoyo's voice is happy, laughing. Kaho feels tears threaten her eyes as she reaches for the release to bring the shades down on the booth. She doesn't need to see this, to hear this, not after reading Reed's fortune, not after the thoughts she has just had. "But I think it can wait long enough to see Reed's..." The voice trails off and Kaho brings her eyes up for a moment before bringing the shade down. Tomoyo is holding Reed and being held by Eriol. Sakura-san and her husband the Li are standing behind her, holding a baby and a toddler. Touya and his little sister, his lover and Akizuki are all making a bee line for the small group. People are milling around, whispering about how sweet it is that after six years of marriage Eriol and Tomoyo can't stand to be separated for more than three days. It's too much.
She brings the shade down, eyes connecting with Tomoyo's for agonizing seconds before the shade cuts her from view. Kaho heads for the moon pond, closed this year for repairs to the docks. She leaves her shoes at the bank and wades into the water a few steps, the long grasses brushing against her. "Kami-sama, help me to see clearly the path I must take." She regrets her decision to take the Shrine, regrets it intensely right now, but she bows her head and folds her hands in prayer, as she's done all of her life. Looking up is a mistake. She can see Tsukimine in the water, the main house abandoned, not even the bell left over the door, she sees the ponds overgrown with weeds, the empty lot that should be filled with the booths stored and waiting for New Years.
"I can hire a new priest!" She hisses furiously at the image and watches as it ripples, but stays unchanged. "I can hire somebody to take over!" The Shrine in the water ripples again and begins to fade. "What sort of an answer is that?" She demands, wondering why she cares. "Just because I can't stay doesn't mean that anything is going to change! Nothing has changed since I've been gone!" She's furious and she wants to throw something and so she does. But the thing clutched in her hand floats gently and lands on the surface of the water in a graceful curl. Her fortune; she's forgotten that she's had it with her. The water flashes brilliantly white and the image of Tsukimine renews itself. Only it's changed, she sees. It's whole and beautiful as it once was. But this is not the way that it was...there are new thing, new buildings that she knows never stood in this place.
She scoops the scrap of paper off the top of the water, where it is floating like a small swan. For a house to be whole, it must have people within who are whole in spirit. Rediscovering yourself comes only when you discover that which you've left behind. It is this that will build you a path to your door. She holds the damp paper against her chest for a moment, eyes closed. "Kami-sama, there's nothing that I've left behind. Nothing has changed from how it was when I was gone." Her eyes open as the water rises up, taking shapes, to show her how things were and how they are. The Takashi's watching out for the Shrine patrons, taking care of injuries and not being paid for them; Terada-sensei as he looked over the Shrine, his mouth moving as he tells of kids he know who would be willing to help; Touya telling her it is good to have her back, Akizuki ensuring that the children have a good time...Eriol, handing out fortunes with a carefully covered look of worry.
"Mizuki-sensei?" Tomoyo is standing on the bank and Kaho watches as she carefully picks her path down to the water's edge. She waits, blinking away the sheen of tears in her eyes, for the other woman to speak. Which she does. "Sensei, I know that you and I will never be friends," she begins, "and Eriol would never dream of asking either of us to do anything that would make us sad but..." She watches as Tomoyo's eyes, like Reed's, clear with focused determination. "But I'd like for us to be able to see each other without flinching. What I did...what happened years ago, is something that can't be forgotten and I wouldn't change my life for anything but it broke his heart and...part of it is still broken." She finishes softly.
Kaho remembers. She remembers his sorrow well. "I should have told him to be happy." She whispers.
"Pardon?" Tomoyo's eyes are wide.
"I should have wished him luck and joy." She says softly. "I left without a word to him, without a word for anybody, but I should have told him..." She holds the fortune lightly, refusing to crush it in her grasp. "I should have told everybody..." Because they all loved her. They took care of her even though she was far away from all of them, in every way.
Tomoyo's touch on her shoulder is light, but there is a heavy weight in her acceptance of it. "Will you stay?"
"The Shrine needs me." She answers softly, knowing that Tomoyo cannot see the tableau still moving on the water, Rika-san clearing weeds at the edge of the Bird Pond, Tsukishiro-kun keeping the archery range clean and ready for training. "It's part of me." She continues softly, "I should have come back sooner. Will you tell Eriol...tell him that I'm happy for him." She feels a smile touch her mouth as she takes the hand from her shoulder and holds it in hers for a moment. "I think you have important news for him." They won't be friends, but they are not enemies. Some things cannot be stopped, no matter how much she or anybody else might desire otherwise. Some things shouldn't be. She stands in the water a moment more, listening to Tomoyo leave, and she makes plans to contact Terada-sensei for the names of those who will be her students and her helpers, before she gathers her shoes and returns to the booth.
Eriol is gone now, but Sakura-san is balancing a toddler on her hip and handing out fortunes in his place. "Please come back again!" She calls after the departing couple. "Kaho-sensei," she smiles beautifully, "Yi ze and I decided to help out today." She bounces the shy little girl on her hip with a laugh and says something in soft Cantonese. She looks back with a warm smile. "Your mother came by a while ago to say that she'll take over for the rest of the afternoon. Oh, and you left your fortune here, by the way." She nods to the paper lying on a corner of the counter.
Renewal follows a sleep of death; trees that were bare in winter find flower in the spring. So it is in life as well. You will see a friend fall in love.
"It's not mine." She lifts her own.
"Eriol must have left it then." Sakura kisses her baby's cheek. "I got the same fortune I get every year."
She doesn't need to look at the paper that Sakura-san holds out, though she does; she reads it aloud with a happy laugh. "Everything will work out alright, for certain." For certain.