Disclaimer: As is possibly obvious, Gundam Wing does not belong to me.

Note: This is set in the 'Rainy Day' universe, and takes place approximately six months before the first RD story. Happy Christmas!

Many thanks to KS for the title(s) and last line, as per usual. Why mess with tradition at Christmas?

Warnings: 1x5, background 3x4. Duo angst at Christmas….with a little glimmer of hopeful sap at the end.

Embracing Christmas:

(AKA I Know What I Want for Christmas and It Isn't a Sweater)

It was only a Christmas card.

Not even a special one; one of the girls in HR volunteers at an animal shelter and she'd been selling cards for weeks to raise funds for it. I'd actually been given three or four with the same design; a baby donkey wearing a Christmas wreath. I'd spent a fair bit of time the last two weeks scribbling cards under my desk to people whose names I hadn't even known 'til they'd sent me one.

It all seemed a bit pointless, really.

This was the only card I was bothering to carry around with me, instead of just stuffing at the back of my drawer.

Stupid.

The message was nice enough; although after nearly a year working on Earth I knew it was customary to address people as 'Dear' when you were writing to them, and to finish with 'love'.

It didn't mean anything.

'Hope you have a wonderful time with Hilde on L2. We'll do something when you get home. Happy Christmas.'

Yeah. Sure.

The L2 thing…I hadn't exactly lied about going away for Christmas. People had made assumptions that I'd want to spend the holiday with my best friend and I hadn't bothered to correct them.

The 'do something when you get home' bit was kind. Another little of charity toward poor, lonely Duo. Sometimes, when I was really low, I wondered if Quat had pressured them into spending time with me, trying to take me out of myself, or if maybe it was a direct order from Une.

I knew that she'd asked them to 'keep an eye' on me when I'd first started; presumably to make sure I wasn't going to go crazy with an automatic weapon or something. Even the Preventers Press Office would have a hard time putting a positive spin on that sort of thing.

Preventers hiring policies suck. I'd assumed I'd be able just to rack up and be handed a badge and gun and whatever; in reality, I'd had to go through psych assessments and interviews and all sorts of shit.$ I'd come really close to just giving up, except I hadn't really had a Plan B at that point.

Plan A was bad enough; go to work for the psycho woman who'd wanted me dead not so long ago.

It didn't make sense, though. They'd given red carpet treatment and special agent status to the guy who'd done his best to destroy the Earth; their damn commander had wanted to blow up the colonies and have me executed on global TV.

I'd gone on a few drinking binges after Dylan died, and got into a few fights and I'd been treated like I was the crazy one.

So Heero and Wufei had been assigned to babysit me for a while. Even after it was pretty obvious that I was relatively sane, they still kept it up, trying to include me on stuff. I knew they meant it kindly, but it's not so much fun playing gooseberry all the time.

Whatever.

They'd been sending me Christmas cards ever since the war ended. This was the first one they'd both signed, though it was their third year together. The first year, I'd got separate ones. They'd been a couple for only a few months then; presumably not close enough to send joint cards.

The second year, Dylan had just died. They'd obviously thought it wasn't appropriate to send any sort of card with 'happy' in the title to someone who'd lost his boyfriend a few weeks previously. They'd both come to the funeral service.

This year's card was from Wufei and Heero.

I'd been trying to figure out how they'd decided whose name went first. Why not Heero and Wufei? Why was it always Quatre and Trowa, Hilde and Maddox, Zechs and Noin?

It was clearly one of those couple things that I didn't know about.

Dylan and I had never got into the card sending thing, so it had never come up. Christmas isn't a big deal on L2. I still couldn't believe just how insane it was on Earth. It was only a day; I didn't get what all the fuss was about.

It hadn't been practical to shut down the entire Preventers organisation, but they were on a skeleton staff so that agents with families could spend time with them and do whatever it was people did on Christmas Day. Eat turkey and write even more cards to people you hardly knew and put more stuff on your tree, probably.

I hadn't bothered to get a tree or any of that stuff. It hadn't been any particular hardship to volunteer to work an extra shift on Christmas Day; I'd ended up in a little room in the IT department, monitoring our firewalls. It was OK. I'd come off actual agent duty, guarding an L3 ambassador, at six am, gone home to shower and change and snatch a couple of hours' sleep, and then come straight in.

The person who usually worked in this office was a total Christmas freak. They had a little tree, and cards on every available surface and an advent calendar and whatnot. Une had issued a directive a couple of weeks ago banning all this stuff, but no one had paid any attention. Every Heero had his cards displayed on his desk, and Wufei had a wreath on his office door.

I knew they had a tree at home as well because they'd invited me along to pick one out. Just like they'd asked me to go with them to go with them to the outdoor skating rink, and to a little pre-Christmas party they'd held.

I'd thanked them politely and refused, claiming I had to work on each occasion.

It was pretty much true. Last Thursday, the first anniversary of Dylan's death, I'd driven out to the coast after my shift ended. He'd always wanted to see the ocean. He would have loved it.

I thought Hereo and Wufei were finally getting the message; over the last couple of days, they'd pretty much left me alone. I was trying hard to convince myself that it was a good thing. I didn't need them. They sure as hell didn't need me in the perfect lives they'd managed to craft for themselves, all sparkly Christmas lights and candy canes.

I couldn't see why they were making such a big deal of the Christmas thing. It wasn't like either of them was Christian or came from a culture that celebrated the holiday.

Yet another thing I couldn't understand about them.

I was so sure they'd have got together straight after the war. It had taken a couple of years, though. I'd seen them, after all, on the Lunar Base, when they thought I was asleep. They'd held each other and I'd tried so hard to be happy for them.

I'd known from the start that I hadn't had the ghost of a chance with Heero, despite some of the things Quat had said. I'd assumed Relena was the one he was interested in, I'd been so sure he was straight.

It had been Wufei all along though and as soon as the war ended, I'd headed for L2 so fast a Gundam couldn't have caught me. It would have hurt too damn much watching them together. I'd spent the next couple of years wondering what the hell was going on with them. They worked together as partners, but that seemed to be as far as it went.

I'd starting wondering if, just maybe, I should steel myself and say something to Heero. We still kept in touch; fairly factual emails about his job and my business and what the others were up to. I knew he liked me; I knew he was gay. Maybe….it wasn't such an impossible dream.

During the war, Quatre had thought Heero had been interested in me. That was Quatre, though. He'd met the love of his life, who conveniently adored him back, and wanted everyone in the universe to be that happy.

I'd been considering taking a holiday to Earth when Quat had called and said Heero and Wufei had both gone to a conference in Paris and come back in a state of very definite togetherness. He'd tried so hard to cheer me up but what could he say, really? I'd lost Heero, and it wasn't like I could ever have competed with Wufei anyway. Heero deserved someone special and Wufei was educated and cultured and ambitious and downright droolably gorgeous.

Two weeks later, Dylan had wandered into the scrap-yard looking for work, and I'd ended up with a boyfriend of my own.

Fast forward a year and I'd lost the boyfriend, lost the business, and was working for the woman who'd once probably topped her Christmas list with the severed head of Duo Maxwell.

Go figure.

God, this was boring. Wufei and Heero had started to pressure me recently about giving up the field agent thing after I'd been injured on a couple of missions. That was another surprise; I couldn't imagine either of them enjoying desk jobs, but of course they both had special qualifications. Heero pretty much ran Preventers IT security and Wufei was in Oriental Affairs. I didn't have anything like that to offer and now way was I going to end up sitting behind a desk and updating spreadsheets or something.

Another hour to go.

Then I could go home, heat up whatever leftovers were lurking in the fridge, watch some unChristmassy crap on TV and ….

I had my gun out as soon as I heard footsteps outside the door. Just in case. There was no one else working on this corridor; no one was supposed to be here until my replacement arrived.

'Duo!' The door open to reveal Mr. Heero Yuy himself, in all the glory of a red sweater patterned with little snowmen. 'Put the gun away. You know there are regulations about drawing firearms in Preventer HQ!'

'Maxwell!' Wufei pushed past his partner. His sweater was bottle-green; not a great colour on him, and he had tiny reindeer. 'What the hell are you doing here?'

'I could ask you the same question,' I said mildly.

Heero shut the door behind them, looking slightly defensive. 'I thought Monica Croft was covering this shift and she's not very experienced. I was monitoring her from my laptop and she was accessing programmes she shouldn't have been able to. We were driving home from Sally's anyway and I thought I'd better come in and..'

'Heero, that's not important,' Wufei interrupted. 'Duo, what are you doing here? You told us you'd be on L2 for the holidays?'

'I didn't.' I tried to sound flip about the whole thing. 'Everyone just assumed and I didn't bother to say anything.'

A few weeks ago, I'd mentioned that Hilde had invited me to visit for Christmas. Everyone had been more than happy to go along with that; it relieved them of the need to invite me to their celebrations. Everyone was happy.

'All right' Wufei took a deep breath. 'Why did you …. let us assume that you'd be there?'

I shrugged. 'Look, it's no big deal, OK? It was my fault. I left booking the flights too late. They were way too expensive for a couple of days.'

That was true. Of course, I'd left it too late on purpose.

'What's with the clothes anyway?' I changed tack, going for the famous Duo-joker approach. 'Did you guys mug a couple of Santa's elves or something?'

Wufei had the grace to look slightly embarrassed; Heero obviously didn't care. The guy had all the fashion sense of a soggy cracker. 'Sally knitted them for us. I thought she'd made one for you as well.'

Oh, right. That would be the big floppy parcel she'd pressed into my arms a couple of days ago. Another surprise; people had given me actual gifts. All wrapped up in holly strewn paper and tied with shiny little bows and cards. More cards. I hadn't known I was supposed to buy presents.

I'd dumped all the stuff in a corner of my bedroom, until I got around to opening it. One day, when I was starting to feel less guilty. Maybe I could just get everyone New Year gifts instead.

At least Heero and Wufei hadn't bothered to get me anything.

Heero just glared at me. I should have known changing the conversation around to clothes wouldn't work with him. 'You should have told us your plans had changed, Duo. It's Christmas. You shouldn't be working here by yourself.'

'Apart from anything else,' Wufei cut in, 'there are regulations on how long a field agent can work on one shift. I know you were working all day yesterday

'I'm not working. I'm sitting on my ass, answering the occasional 'phone call and monitoring a security system. I finish in less than an hour and then I'll go home and sleep. Is that acceptable?'

'No,' Heero snapped. 'It isn't. It's Christmas Day. You can't spend the whole day working and then go home alone.'

'Sure I can. I can do anything I damn well want. You guys can go and pull stockings or hang decorations on each other or whatever you want, but Christmas doesn't mean anything to me.'

'Then why have you got our card on the desk?' Wufei shot at me.

Oh, yeah.

I shrugged. 'I must've shoved it my pocket after you gave it to me the other day. I'd forgotten all about it. Now, are we done? I'm supposed to be working here and I'm sure you guys have a party or something to go to.'

They exchanged glances like I'd insulted their honour or something. Then Heero came over and perched on the desk. Not fair. He looked great in red, and he was wearing a new aftershave or cologne or something. To add insult to injury, he reached out and tweaked my braid a little. He was the only person I ever let touch my hair.

'What's wrong?' His hand slid up my braid, and cupped the back of my neck, massaging very, very gently. 'You're awfully tense.'

'Nothing,' I muttered. 'Everything's shiny. I guess I'm just tired and I don't get all this Christmas crap and fuck, can you stop touching me like that?'

'I'm sorry!' His hand jerked away like I'd shot him. He looked utterly, positively stricken. I'd never, in a zillion years, have pegged Heero as the touchy-feely type, but he'd started …touching me in the last few months. All very innocuous; he'd found me upset one day after a job had gone to hell and back and a kid had got caught in the crossfire and he'd hugged me, and since then I'd been getting the occasional squeeze on the shoulder or whatever.

'Enough,' Wufei said sharply. Shit, with Heero's hand on my skin, I'd almost forgotten that his boyfriend was there too. I still didn't get him. He was friendly enough and tolerated Heero inviting me out with them; we'd even spent some time together, just the two of us and found we actually had quite a lot in common. He'd mellowed a lot since the upright, honour-obsessed teenager he'd been during the war.

Of course, Wufei didn't know that I'd lost my heart to his boyfriend the first time we'd met, and that nothing, not my being with Dylan or Heero being with him, had changed that.

That would just be the best way ever to kill off the hesitant friendship that we were developing. Just to seal my death warrant, I could always drop the bombshell that I found Wufei himself pretty attractive as well.

Yeah, that would be a really easy way to commit suicide.

Lately, I'd been finding excuses not to meet up with them so much. Apart from the fact that they didn't need me cramping their style, I'd noticed a few odd looks from Wufei when he thought I wasn't paying attention. He's a super-smart guy; maybe he'd caught me watching Heero and put two and two together.

He was giving me one of those strange, unreadable glances now.

'Duo, I called your replacement. She'll be here in five minutes, and then you are coming home with us for dinner. All right?'

'No!' God, the two of them were totally doing my head in. Heero was looking like a whipped kitten and Wufei was ordering me around. 'When my replacement arrives, I am going home. Alone. And I don't appreciate you trying to run my life for me, just for the record.'

'No, you're damn well not!' He moved up to stand beside Heero, sliding an arm around his boyfriend's waist. Just rubbing my nose in all their lovely cosy couple-ness. 'You are trying your best to ignore the entire world and you can't live like that. You haven't taken part in any of the Christmas events; you never see people outside work unless you're forced into it. You're obviously miserable.'

'Maybe I like being miserable!' I yelled back. 'And Christmas is nothing to do with me. It's not my religion, I don't believe in God, I don't believe in any of that crap so why should I try to get involved with it?'

Heero lifted his head. 'Is it so awful to spend one day a year celebrating with family and friends? And before you say it, you do have friends. You have people who would love to spend time with you if you didn't keep pushing them away.'

'Whatever,' I said wearily, standing up. 'If you guys are so determined to hang around here, you can wait 'til my replacement comes up. And don't worry; when I'm talking to Quat I'll tell him you tried really hard to get me to come to your place.'

They both stared at me.

Wufei shook his head. 'I don't know what you're talking about. What does Quatre have to do with any of this?'

'He's the one who gets you to do all this, right? Asking me along to stuff, making sure I'm not alone all the time? Well, I'm sick of it, OK? I can look after myself. I don't need any more of your charity, thanks very much. You can donate to the hospital or something if your social conscience is bothering you.'

I always forget how fast Heero can move when he wants. I got maybe two steps closer to the door before he was in front of me, hands clutching my arms. 'Do you really believe that?' The pain in his eyes was a living thing. 'That we only want to spend time with you because Quatre asks us, or because we feel sorry for you?'

I shrugged. 'Maybe.' Maybe it was better to have this out for once and for all. I didn't need them babying me. And spending time with them hurt so damned much, seeing them together and happy and in love. Maybe it would be easier if I just never saw them.

'Oh, Duo.' There was a weird little catch in Heero's voice, and then I was somehow in his arms and it felt so good it had to be wrong but I just couldn't quite bring myself to move and he was probably too strong anyway.

He just stroked my back and murmured my name and let me get his sweater all soggy. At some point Wufei was there as well; a warm, solid body at my side and that felt good too.

And wrong.

They were trying to be nice and comforting and I was thinking and feeling stuff that I wasn't allowed to.

'Come home with us?' Heero invited, very softly, and I had just enough strength to shake my head, just once.

'Why?' Wufei asked, his voice just as quiet. 'Why won't you come to our home anymore?'

'It hurts.'

What the hell? I hadn't meant to say that. Might as well go for broke. It wasn't like they could still have any shreds of respect for me by this stage, breaking down when I was meant to be working. 'Seeing you together, it hurts.'

'It shouldn't.' That was Heero, his arms folding me even tighter. 'It doesn't have to hurt.' It wasn't a hug now; not the sort of hug you might give a colleague, or even a friend. It was an embrace. Sliding my arms around his waist, I knew Wufei would probably slice my head off for the presumption. That would be how I'd end my first Christmas on Earth; in a bloodbath. Well, it would end all the misery.

They're both damn possessive of each other. I'd heard shocked, whispered conversations at the water cooler about what had happened to a new weapons instructor who'd got that bit close to Heero when demonstrating a new handgun. And I knew the rumours about how badly Heero had reacted to the woman in Accounts who'd asked Wufei on a date. It doesn't pay to piss off a genius computer hacker.

When I made the first, feeble effort to pull away, Heero made an exasperated little sound and tugged my braid. 'Duo, you are the most stubborn, dense person either of us has ever met. What do we have to do to convince you we want to be with you?'

'Maybe we need to show him.' Wufei's voice behind me, incredibly, sounded rather amused. 'We've tried subtlety and taking things slowly and he seems to think we've been considering him a charity case.'

'You could be right, love.' Heero's voice floated over my consciousness, somehow permeating the what-the-fuck fog that had taken over my brain, and then pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

Instead of reaching for his katana, Wufei tilted my chin so I was looking at him. He's really big into maintaining his personal space; I'd never been so close to him before. His face was close enough that I could see tiny amber-gold flecks in his dark eyes, close enough that I could feel his breath on my skin. He smelt like Christmas; chocolate and candy canes.

They'd been visiting Sally; Heero and Wufei are godparents to her twins. I had a sudden vision of Wufei lying on the floor with the two little toddlers crawling all over him, stuffing him with candy.

'Come home with us tonight, Duo. Please.'

And then he kissed me, with me wrapped in his partner's arms.

Christmas lights and candy canes! It all made sense at last……