"Hi, mom."

Lelouch's fingers grazed along the top of that headstone. More elaborate than Marianne would have wanted, it was a broad, arched plaque with an etched portrait of her face. There were a few scattered flowers here. The groundskeepers collected them weekly, so it seemed as though his mother had regular visitors. He knew this grave would never be lonely or mistreated.

Euphemia let her hand join his, gently squeezing as her fingers found their way in between his own.

"I miss you, Lady Marianne." she spoke softly, squeezing his hand a bit harder. Speaking more to him than to the deceased.

A lingering pause was framed by the wind sweeping through the willow branches, the midsummer sun sweeping low over the horizon of the Ivory Gardens. Finally, though, Lelouch let his hand slip from Euphemia's, and stepped back, turning to her.

"Euphie, there's something we need to talk about. Something very important." Lelouch swallowed heavily. Euphemia stared firmly back into his eyes, steeling herself for whatever it was. She had a feeling it was something she wasn't going to like.

"Go ahead, Lelouch."

Why was it that there was nothing more terrifying than that determined stare of hers…? Even Cornelia on her worst days… Even his father could never match that.

Lelouch swallowed. "I'm joining the military. I leave for the academy in the fall."

Euphemia's voice fell flat and cold. "You shouldn't make jokes like that here, of all places, Lelouch."

Lelouch's eyes widened, but soon he shook his head, touching her shoulder. "Euphie, you should know I wouldn't ever do that. This is no joke."

"Why tell me now? Why here?" Euphemia brushed his hand aside and turned, briskly walking back to the path, leaving Lelouch behind. He followed her, trying to catch a glimpse of her expression, to see if she was going to cry, if he'd hurt her. Euphie remained inscrutable.

"I wanted us to be alone, and I wanted to tell you as soon as I was sure." Lelouch once again tried to touch her shoulder, only to be rebuffed. "I made my decision last night."

"Then unmake it." Euphie's tone was unlike her, a domineering sort of voice. Showing a side of her that was surprisingly like her sister.

Lelouch couldn't help but sigh in exasperation. Why couldn't she understand...? "I can't. I already signed the papers, Euphemia. I won't go back on the very first step I take toward realizing..."

"Realizing what? You think this is going to help you become a man?" Icy. Haughty. Each word like a bitter recrimination, as if he were at trial, he the defendant, she the prosecution. "Is that what Cornelia told you? I never thought you'd fall for it too."

Lelouch couldn't help but smell the hypocrisy. "Fall for it? Why is it okay for Cornelia to do it but not for me?"

"I was five years old when Cornelia signed up, Lelouch!" Euphemia shook her head. Could her brother really not see the difference? "There was nothing I could do then - I scarcely understood what it meant - and my heart's been aching for her ever since. Every time she goes to battle, every time she's away on deployments or even on training, all I do is worry and pray for her safety. It's all I think about, and now you're going to make me suffer double." She shot him another bitter stare, eyes narrowing.

"I'll be fine, Euphemia. You don't have to worry for my sake." Lelouch tried to adopt a reassuring tone, only to realize a moment too late that this was quite possibly the worst thing he could have said at the worst possible moment.

"Oh!" Euphemia stopped in her tracks, turning on her heel to face him. Finally her face wore an expression of emotion, but rather than the distress and anguish he'd prepared himself for, her eyes were wide and her teeth bared in a strained grin. This was something he could never have prepared for. Sarcasm.

"Oh! Well, I'm so glad you said that, here I was all ready to start worrying, but now that you've given me your permission not to, I suppose I won't, then!"

"You don't have to rub it in, Euphie." Check. And Lelouch was making a thoughtless move, squirming out of it with the only options he had left to him. He turned away, but she stepped in front of him, refusing to let him look away from her.

"Don't call me that. Don't start with your words. Euphie, don't. Euphie, please. Euphie, why do you have to show me your pain when this conversation should be about mine." Check.

"That's not what I was saying, and you're making a scene in front of mother." Lelouch closed his eyes, fists clenching as he tried to collect himself. A desperate gambit. A last-minute castle, shoving a rook in front of the opponent to forestall the inevitable.

"You're the one who thought this would be a good place to have this discussion. We're having it. Unless you want to take separate cars back? Should I break the news to Nunnally, then?"

Checkmate.

Lelouch froze, his throat tightening up as Euphemia continued. "I assume that's what this is about, you wanted to tell me first so that you can have me by your side when you tell her." She had seen through him perfectly. He should hardly have expected anything less, she knew him better than he knew himself. "You can handle my tears, but not hers."

Lelouch shook his head, but he couldn't deny the truth. "Nunnally would understand. She wouldn't do this to me."

"Nunnally would understand that she has no other option but to sit there and take it. You're so ignorant it's unreal, Lelouch. You don't know anything about women. When a girl like Nunnally has her heart broken, she doesn't let it show, she just hides it. It's more important to her that everyone else be happy. But I'll be the one drying her tears when you're not around because you want to go off and play soldier." She was the one to turn away from him, this time.

"Euphemia, I'm not playing." But he'd lost the match already. The determination was gone from his voice, he was just speaking empty words.

"And just how long do you think you'll last in a real fight? Look at you. I could kick your ass."

She was probably right, too. He closed his eyes, turned away. "I'm sorry, Euphemia."

"I don't care. Because what you're actually saying is, 'I'm sorry, but your feelings aren't important enough to me to change my mind. Your feelings weren't even important enough for me to consider.'"

"I considered it very carefully before-"

"Yes, you considered it carefully by yourself, because you didn't think to ask me or you didn't care."

"I didn't want to because I knew you'd freak out!"

Lelouch had done a lot of stupid things in his life, but as those words left his lips, he was convinced, a moment too late, that that one topped the list.

"I am not freaking out!" Euphemia found shelter in the shade of a willow, and pulled off a shoe and threw it as hard as she could in Lelouch's direction when he attempted to follow her. "Get away from me, I need to be alone. I can't stand to hear your voice right now, never mind look at you."

Lelouch bent to pick up her shoe, and leaned against the tree on the opposite side, tucking his chin to his chest and waiting. They'd have to leave together anyway.

Crows and starlings called out in the dim, dusky summer evening, and the sky began to turn a dark crimson. Euphemia swatted a mosquito on her arm, while Lelouch merely suffered the bites. Minutes passed, with Euphemia trying her best to hold back the tears, but eventually a few sniffles broke the silence.

"What am I supposed to do?" She sounded more broken than pleading, acceptance starting to trickle into the cracks in her voice.

"Nunnally's going to need you now more than ever. I'm sorry for putting that burden on you, Euphemia, but this is something I have to do."

"My whole life people have been saying sorry for putting burdens on me, but laying them on me anyway. I just never expected the one that crushed me would come from the one I love the most."

Lelouch didn't know how to respond to that. Not at first. But eventually he let himself be honest. With her, and with his own heart.

"I love you, too, Euphie." Saying the words was easier than he'd always imagined it to be.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better? There, we've said it, and now what's changed?" Her voice betrayed a flighty feeling of elation, despite her bitter words.

"Nothing has. ... We've known it for years now, after all."

"So this is one of those storybook things, huh? Are we going to elope and get married the day before you're shipped off? You know how those stories usually go, right? I get to write you love letters and pine for you, and you get to go off and forget about me. You'll be a hero; you'll find whirlwind romances with girls in far-off places, and then one day some men in dress uniforms come to my door..."

"That's not going to happen, Euphemia. I swear it." Lelouch came around to her side of the tree, finally looking her in the eye again, but she just looked right back, with a glare that was equally as determined as his.

"I don't believe you. You don't even know what happens at the end of the training, do you?" Euphemia put a finger to his chest, prodding harshly, narrowing her gaze. Lelouch began to grow uneasy. "Cornelia never told you, she won't. They're not supposed to, but she knows."

"Euphie, what are you talking about...? There's a cadet deployment, and they - we go to fight." Everybody knew that. She couldn't be talking about...

"Yeah, that's the part they tell you about." Euphie swallowed, her voice growing hollow, nervous. "The other part is supposed to be a surprise."

...

"Sir, I'm requesting that Enneagram take my place as CO. I'm not cut out for leadership and it's time I acknowledge that." Cornelia was sitting on one of the cots in the command tent. Her command tent - Darlton's headquarters were on the other side of the base, away from the troops. The cadets were running the show at Camp Skullfucker - Cornelia had made the mistake of putting the name to a vote and letting Nonette voice a nomination. ( Her demure suggestion of "Camp Aegis" had garnered a vote from herself and Guilford and no one else. )

"That's very mature of you, Cadet Stuart. Have you discussed this with her? Because I feel that she would disagree. As would I." Darlton's tone betrayed a mocking amusement, as if he'd seen countless cadets make this request before, and inevitably rebuffed it.

"Sir, all due respect, you aren't me."

Darlton's smirk only broadened, as he sat in the cot opposite her. "Cadet, if you ever preface anything to me again with that phrase, or permit anyone else to do so to you, you are a fool. "With all due respect" is nothing more than a coward's way of backhandedly seizing authority they haven't earned or been granted. If I want you to speak freely to me, I will tell you, and you will expect the same of your subordinates."

"Sir, I've no intention of continuing to have subordinates. I got Thoreau and the others killed back there. I was a fool coming up with a plan that sounded crazy purely to impress them and it didn't work."

"Oh, but it did." Darlton's blunt contradiction mystified her. Was he like the other Britannian elites, those who only cared about victory or defeat, damn the costs?

"We destroyed a listening post. The enemy had fewer than half of what your intel suggested and they didn't even know we were coming. And most importantly, we had Knightmares and they didn't. Those losses were unacceptable for such an insignificant gain. Their blood stains my hands." Cornelia put her elbows on her knees, hands on either side of her face.

"Cadet, I've heard enough." His voice took a sterner tone as he rose to his feet.

"Are you going to send me home, sir?"

"Why would I do that?" He crossed his arms, staring down at her, and after a moment, she looked up at him. "That's what you want, isn't it?"

"Then what else do you have to threaten me with?"

"I'm not going to threaten you." Another of his odd smiles.

"Then why should I listen to you?" Cornelia regretted saying it. As much as she was loath to admit it, she couldn't help but respect him.

"Because I know what I'm talking about and you don't. And I'm tired of watching you beat yourself up. How many comrades do you think I've buried?" Darlton sat down on the edge of her cot, putting a hand on Cornelia's shoulder. She folded her hands in her lap, shaking her head at his remark.

"You don't understand. I'm not made for this. This isn't me. They want me to command them because I'm good in a Knightmare, but I'm not a warrior, I hate this."

Darlton couldn't help but let out a small chuckle. "If anyone ought to hate war, it's a soldier. More so a commander. Theirs is but to do or die. Ours is to shoulder the responsibility for it. Some commanders deal with it by devaluing their lives. Some even make it institutional doctrine. Some even seem to think that it's how the military must work, how it's always worked. That anyone who'd go against it is threatening the stability of a centuries-old institution."

"That sounds familiar." Cornelia shook her head, giving a sad sort of smile. "Are you saying some commanders don't?"

"Why do you think your instructors left you alone when they did? Why do you think they didn't give you enough Knightmares to go around? Do you really think we're short on Glasgows?"

"Short on Glasgows for cadets, maybe. They didn't want to make it too easy for us." Cornelia replied, but as she stared back up into the colonel's eyes, she had a moment of realization. Quickly turning to shock. "… They didn't want us to plan around it. They wanted us to…"

"Orders are orders, cadet Stuart, no matter how distasteful." His smile had disappeared, and he was no longer looking her in the eye. His tone seemed apologetic. "I am to give you your objectives and provide advice and intel only. I am not to interfere in any course of action the company takes. Up to and most certainly including fratricide."

"But we didn't…" Cornelia spoke, and Darlton's slight smile came back.

"Your company was the first since I've taken this assignment to have no friendly fire casualties on its first operation. Most cadets panic when they realize the enemy is coming for them, and that their fellow cadets are the only ones standing between them and the safety of a Knightmare. Most pilots cut their teeth on their comrades before ever meeting the enemy. You are a leader whether you want to believe it or not. You didn't just accomplish the mission, you kept the men together. You have a gift, and if you want to do right by them, you owe it to them not to throw that gift away. I can advise you, but that's all I'm here to do. But I believe it's my destiny to serve you someday, and if you develop this gift of yours, and heed my advice, you'll become the leader these men deserve. The leader Britannia deserves... your highness."

...

"That's disgusting." Lelouch felt like spitting, but the ground he stood on was too sacred.

"It's true."

"I believe you. How did you hear that, though? If Cornelia wasn't allowed to talk about it..."

"I overheard her talking about it with your mother."

Lelouch glanced back at the headstone, his expression darkening. Cornelia and his mother shared so many secrets he still didn't know about.

"They thought I was asleep…" Euphie continued. "But I remember how Cornelia looked, when Lady Marianne asked her..."

...

"This isn't a subject we should be talking about with Euphemia in earshot." Cornelia gritted her teeth, stroking her sleeping sister's hair. Her first week in the Guard, her first week here at home with Marianne and her new family - and with Euphemia - and one of her first conversations with the Empress was regarding... this. "And to be honest, Lady Marianne, the fact that you'd even ask..."

"Oh, are you ashamed of it? I'm not. Truth be told, I was itching for payback by the time they took the chains off." Marianne rubbed her wrists in a mimicry of the gesture, flashing Cornelia a wicked smile.

Cornelia closed her eyes, letting out a deep, agonized sigh. "I'm sure they deserved it, if that's how you felt, but..."

"So, go on, then. Did you at least pop that wise-ass Thoreau you wrote home about? I heard he went down on the first op. He must have been itching to challenge your authority. Was it you, or did someone else have the pleasure?" Marianne giggled as she took a sip of champagne, perhaps a little inebriated. But there was no denying that she was being true to herself, perhaps more so than when she was sober.

"... No." Cornelia felt sick. She recalled her uncle's words, for a brief moment. That woman is not the person she appears to be...

"No? How many did you kill, then? Come on, just us girls." Marianne clasped her hands together, that sweet expression belying the sanguine subject. Like a cat playing with its prey.

"We had our hands full with the enemy." Cornelia squirmed, trying to change the subject.

"You didn't tag any of the others? What kind of killer are you? And they put you in charge?" Marianne guffawed, evidently believing Cornelia was being modest. Surely a cadet couldn't go through four years of that hell without coming out a stone cold killer, with the will to slaughter anyone who stood in her way?

"They put me in charge because that's the kind of person I am. We didn't have any incidents like that, and if you think those are supposed to be normal, then perhaps-"

Marianne gave a dismissive wave to Cornelia's protest, interrupting her. "But they are normal. Cornelia, are you seriously telling me you had zero…?"

"Ask Colonel Darlton. Zero. And I'm done talking about this."

"... Oh, that explains it. Andreas? He's still as soft as ever, hm?"

Cornelia was this close to throwing her drink in the woman's face. "Lady Marianne, stop."

Marianne approached the sofa, leaning over the back of it. Looking down into Cornelia's weary eyes, as she met the girl's gaze, and finally, her neutral, curious expression faded into a warm and gentle smile.

"I'm only teasing you, Cornelia. I didn't mean any harm. I'm glad you made it back safely... and I'm very proud of you for what you accomplished." She slid a hand down Cornelia's arm, gradually winding her fingers in between the girl's, giving a reassuring squeeze.

Cornelia didn't feel quite as reassured as she ought to.

"I'd prefer to never talk about this again, Lady Marianne."

"We won't. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway. You'll be by my side from now on, and the only people you'll have to kill are those I command you to."

Cornelia swallowed a lump in her throat. "I hope it doesn't come to that."

"I hope so, too. But you know what you signed up for, and you know how many people want me dead. Let's never forget what we are, hm, you and I? We share a bond now, a bond none of the others will ever understand." Marianne leaned down, brushing her cheek against Cornelia's, her lips barely grazing the girl's ear. Making her shiver - Marianne seemed to think it was from the thrill, but Cornelia was finding it very hard to contain her discomfort.

"We're killers." She gave her protege's cheek a kiss, before leaning back up and ruffling Cornelia's hair. "Get some sleep, trainee. Gottwald's got more drills planned for you tomorrow."

...

"So, I need to be prepared to be stabbed in the back." Lelouch spoke with no small amount of contempt in his voice. He stood, eyes closed, as Euphie leaned against the tree beside him. Her hand had found his again, despite her evident anger at him. Perhaps she was trying to make the most of the time they had left together. This would undoubtedly be their last visit to the Ivory Gardens before he left, at any rate.

"You need to be strong enough that it doesn't happen to you at all. Cornelia made it happen once, and she didn't even know it was coming. Figure out a way to do the same."

"And what about Cornelia? Should I be upset with her?"

"... She'd have told you anyway. She was probably waiting to spring it on you during the training, to get you to quit. If you think Cornelia actually wants to see you become a killer, you don't know her at all." Euphemia closed her eyes, breathing out another sigh.

"I suppose you're right. ... I'm sorry, Euph-"

"Don't." Euphemia let her hand slip away from his.

He kept his eyes closed as she parted from him. Perhaps if he didn't look at her walking away, he wouldn't have to face the truth of how badly he'd hurt her.

He winced as he felt her step on his toes. And then she was pressed against him, her lips on his. The kiss was intense, unreal. Drowning in her passion, her sorrow, her need to be connected to him, to take every sensation and every memory she could from him before it was too late, before memories were all she had to keep her company. His arms instinctively moved to pull her close, and hers did the same, winding behind his back. The world around him faded, and though it seemed like it must have been hours they shared in that embrace, when she parted the sun was no dimmer than it had been.

"Euphie, I..."

"You're going to come back to me, Lelouch vi Britannia. No hero stories. No daring deeds. Just a story of a prince who went off to war, did some very sensible things, kept everyone safe, and came back alive."

"I... All right, Euphie, all right. You win." How many times in his life would he have to repeat those words, he wondered...?

"And then we'll talk about where this leads." She gave him another kiss, a brief one that she couldn't help but let linger. One that couldn't help but make him long for more, but when she came away, it was with her shoe in hand, putting it back on- and then dashing down the path.

"Come on, cadet! Double-time! Last one to the car has to play chauffeur!"

Lelouch undid a button on his collar, breaking into a light jog. It was pointless to try and beat her - for one, she was much faster, even in heels. For another, he was the only one between them who knew how to drive.