Memories and Nightmares

Pairings: MelloMatt

Disclaimer: Death Note isn't mine. Sadly :(

Warnings: Yaoi, language, some violence, lemon.

Alrighty! Hi everyone! This is a little one-shot I've been itching to write, so yay, I finally got it done! Even though it took me like 3 days of writing, yay!

This is originally planned to be a one-shot but if you want it continued, review and tell me :D

"Mello." Matt whispered, tossing in his bed. Red hair fell in every direction, the sheets falling off the bed. It was mid-July in Los Angeles, the hottest time of the year.

"No" He moaned, turning on his back, orange goggles visible around his pale neck. Sweat trickled down his bare body as he twisted and turned, a pained look on his face. Screaming in his sleep, the gamer awoke with a start, a hand pressed to his hammering heart.

"J-just a dream." he whispered, looking at his cell phone that lay beside him. Picking it up and flipping it open, squinting at the bright light, he saw that it was 6:30 am, and sighed. "No point falling back asleep." he muttered, getting up.

He lived in a small apartment in the downtown area of Los Angeles. Not in the best neighborhood, but it was as cheap as the 18 year old could get. He had only been in America for a few months, a pretty boy with an English accent and a lazy attitude. A genius too, but he couldn't find a job. He had no public records of any school he attended, and he was young. Barely even at the legal age.

He moved to Los Angeles for one reason. Mello. His best friend. His brother. His love.

"Bad dream." he muttered, getting into the shower, turning the water on warm-cold. Placing his goggles around his eyes, he leaned against the wall of the shower, breathing heavily as his nightmare came back to haunt him.

It started out as many of his dreams did. He was alone in some unknown place that was pitch black. He saw a bright light, and ran towards it. Then, he saw him. Ice blue eyes, golden blonde hair, rosary slung around his neck, black jeans and t-shirt. Mello. Mello looked at him, as if he wanted to say something, and then that's when his dream changed.

The blonde glared at him, and pulled out a gun, pushing the muzzle into his head.

"Mello." Matt had whispered, closing his eyes. "Why?"

"I have to." Mello muttered back, pushing him against a wall, and pulling the trigger through his heart. "Goodbye."

Eyes widened as he remembered the pain, how realistic it felt, how much it hurt.

"Dammit." he sighed, pulling on a striped t-shirt and basketball shorts. It was 5 years since Mello left. 5 painful, long years in misery. Almost all of them spent at Wammy's alone, not even Near with him.

He never let it show, no one knew that part of him was missing. A huge part of him. Near had left shortly after Mello did, leaving for the United States.

The redhead opened a cupboard, pulled out a bowl and some cereal, pouring the Corn Flakes into the bowl, adding milk. He sat down absentmindedly, the same way he has for the past 3 months. He ate mechanically, like he had to, not enjoying any of the food.

The first time he had ever cried was when he was 13. The day after Mello stormed into his room, knocking roughly before slamming the door open.

"Hey Mells." Matt greeted, waving.

"I'm leaving." Mello said.

"What? Why?" Matt jumped up from his bed, putting his DS on the desk.

"L is dead." Mello whispered.

"What?" Matt repeated, putting an arm around Mello, sitting them both down on his bed. The door was already closed behind them.

"I'm going to avenge him, and kill Kira!" Mello said, a fierce look on his face.

"I'm coming with!" Matt said, getting up, only to be pulled back by Mello.

"No." Mello whispered, wrapping his arms around Matt. "You're staying here."

"Why?" Matt demanded, struggling against Mello's iron grip.

"I don't want you getting hurt." Mello said, pushing Matt onto the bed, straddling him, pinning his wrists above his head.

"Ugh, Mello, don't leave." Matt struggled, and Mello leaned forward, pressing his lips to Matt's in a quick kiss.

"Goodbye, Matt." He whispered, running as fast as he can.

"Mello? MELLO!" Matt yelled, his face red. "Mello." with that, he locked his door, and broke down, tears rolling out of his eyes. "Mello."

It was Mello that drove him to smoke. He stressed over his blonde friend many time, and when he was 16, on the monthly trip to Winchester, he ran into a gang he had seen once before with Mello.

"Kid, you want some?" the leader, a six feet tall man, asked.

"Some what?" Matt asked, shyly.

"Cigarettes. You look stressed. What, your boy-toy left?"

"Thanks. And he isn't my boy toy!" grabbing the cancer stick, Matt put it to his lips, inhaling the poison.

"I better go." He said a few minutes later, grabbing a pack of Marbolos from the leader, waving bye and running back to the group, the pack hidden in the inside pocket of his jacket.

Standing up to throw the bowl into the sink, Matt put on his shoes, combat boots he had with him from the orphanage, and grabbed his car keys. He walked down the stairs of the rundown 10 story apartment, and walked a few hundred meters to the parking lot he kept his car in.

Climbing into the red sports car, he sighed happily, turning the engine on, and driving towards a grocery store in a better area of Los Angeles. Somewhere where he can get food and not have to worry about his darling car being stolen.

Walking into the giant store, he got some of the instant noodles, grabbed some orange juice, a few bags of chips, and walked to the cashier. He almost didn't notice that he ran into someone. A medium height man, about 5'7 to5'9 feet tall, with short brown hair and brown eyes.

"S-sorry." Matt said, taking a step back.

"No problem. Watch where you're going though, kid." The man said. And that's when Matt noticed what he was buying. Two boxes of Lindt milk chocolate. A voice in his head remembered that this was Mello's favourite chocolate. On closer inspection, the man was wearing expensive looking clothes, quite common in this area of Los Angeles, but it didn't suit that man. He looked too tough, too stupid to afford such clothes.

"Mafia." Matt whispered, eyes wide.

"Good morning, sir!" the cashier greeted, a smile on her face.

"Good morning. A few packs of cigarettes, please." Matt said, inwardly sighing as the girl giggled at his accent.

"There you go. Will that be all?"

"Yes."

"Your total is $34.76. Thank you, have a nice day!" Matt payed her the money, grabbed his bags, and walked to his car.

"What's with these people and my accent?" he muttered, rolling his eyes. He sat down, and drove away, smoking a cigarette.

Blue eyes shone dully under orange lenses as he walked into his building, sitting by the laptop. His job was a professional hacker to those who needed one. Mainly big companies who payed lots of money for his silence and work. A little over a 50 hundred per job, and 5 grand for his silence. Enough to support his smoking habit, his car, his apartment and then some left over.

Usually he didn't spend the money, but kept it hidden. Never know when you need some cash. Weeks of his life were spent like this, and eventually, weeks turned to months. The same routine of waking up, washing, eating and hacking.

Then, his life changed dramatically on one September night.

RRRRING! RRRIIING! His cell phone rang out.

"Hello?" he asked, sleepily.

"Matt?" the voice asked.

"Who's this?" Matt asked, already knowing the answer.

"M." the other person said.

"Mello?" Matt asked, jumping up. "What? How? Why? What?" He asked.

"Still the same I see." Mello said quickly. "Meet me here." Giving him the directions, Mello waited for a response.

"Why?" Matt asked. It could mean either Why should I go to you, or Why do you want to meet there. He didn't even know which one he meant himself.

"I'll tell you when you fucking GET here." Mello was loosing his patience.

"Fine. See you in a few." Matt sighed, closing his eyes. He was happy Mello was alive, but he was pissed too. After 5 YEARS of separation, he orders him around like nothing happened?

"Better get going before he blows up." Matt muttered, getting into his car, driving where he was supposed to meet Mello.

He pulled up at an old broken down apartment building. He parked his car, and got out, looking around.

"You haven't changed a bit, Matt." Mello said behind him, smiling.

"Mello!" Matt jumped, looking at the blonde. "You have changed a lot!" he said, eyes roaming his friend's body. The leather vest and pants were new, he noted, feeling heat rush up to his cheeks.

"Like what you see?" Mello teased, laughing. "C'mon, let's talk in private."

"You're in the Mafia headquarters, Matt." he explained, watching the redhead nervously look around.

"M-mafia?" he asked, eyes wide. "What the hell happened to you, Mello? First you leave, then I don't see you for 5 years, you join the MAFIA of all things, and you just randomly call out of the blue, ordering me around as usual!?"

"Shut the fuck up, Matt." Mello said, glaring as he sat down on a couch in an empty room, Matt sitting across from him in a chair.

"What happened to you, Mel?" asked Matt, waiting for the blonde to start talking. "Why did you suddenly call me?"

"I need your help, Matty." Mello smiled, ignoring the question. He had that angelic smile that made you believe he was an innocent little angel. "You're a hacker, right?"

"Yeah." Matt nodded. 'Now we're using our old nicknames?' he thought looking at Mello suspiciously. "But I want you to tell me everything first Mello. From when you left until right now."

"I will. You live downtown LA, right?"

"Yes."

"I'm gonna stay at your place a while, got it?"

"Umm...yeah." Matt sighed. 'Does Mello really wanna stay at my crappy, messy apartment? If he knows my cell and my job, he probably knows how I live too.'

"Jose, go get me my chocolate." he said into his phone, smiling as the man walked in, handing Mello a giant bar of Lindt milk chocolate.

"Hey, you're that guy I saw at the supermarket! So that's Matt, eh Mello?" the guy said, smiling.

"Yeah. Leave before I fucking blow your brains out." Mello said calmly.

"That's what she said." Matt laughed.

"C'mon, we're going." Mello said, walking back to Matt's car.

"When are you gonna tell me what the fuck happened to you, Mello?" Matt demanded as Mello slid in the passenger seat.

"Alright. It's a super long story, let me tell you that." Mello laughed lightly, before beginning.

"I only had about a thousand dollars with me, so I first bought a cheap ticket to Los Angeles. You remember how much I always wanted to live here, right? I hitchhiked to the London airport, got my ticket, and landed here. I forged a passport already, obviously.

"In Los Angeles, I managed to get a gun, and an apartment. A cheap, shitty place that I shared with 3 other guys. Fucking nasty. They let me stay if I did their dirty work. I got their drugs, murdered a few people, basically I became a criminal. I was well known in the underground, hell, I still am." Mello smirked, continuing.

"Eventually, I managed to secure a place in the Mafia. I killed the leader of a rival gang, and they let me in. I'm basically the Mafiosi, but no one really knows. Ross fronts for me. No one will take a gang seriously if a 20 year old is the boss.

"How I found out about you? Jose said that he saw an unusual man with an English accent and goggles. No one in LA has a real British accent, especially like yours. And who the hell wears goggles in public, anyways? I did some investigating, mainly snooping on the grocery store's surveillance, and I saw you. I did some more investigating, this time hacking into some databases, and I saw that some one rented an apartment a few months ago, a young man that looked legal age. So I called you, and that's that." Mello explained, watching Matt drive up to his apartment.

"Wow, Mells." Matt said, leading the blonde to his apartment, hoping it was at least presentable. "Here we are, my apartment." he opened the door, smiling.

"Nice place." Mello said sarcastically. Matt sighed. At least his apartment was slightly clean. No food wrappers or trash on the floor, only a maze of computers and video game consoles.

"What did you do while I was gone, Matty?" Mello asked, plopping down on a couch, eating his chocolate.

"I stayed at Wammy's until I was 18." Matt said, looking out the window. "I left a week after my birthday. I was saving up all my money since you left, Mello. I had about five thousand dollars. I hitchhiked all the way to London, took a bloody week. Got a plane ticket to L.A. I thought you'd be there, so I ended up here. Found a nice, cheap place, bought a car, and started to hack.

"Those who needed a white hat or a black hat knew where to contact me. I set it up so no one knew who I was, no one could trace me. I'm famous in the hacking world. Most of my jobs are for big companies who need a cracker. I do my work quickly, successfully and compared to others, I'm quite cheap. They pay me for work and my silence." Matt grabbed a cigarette, lighting it up, and continuing with his story while Mello glared at the smoke, not interrupting yet.

"I've only been in America for what, 8 months now? Everything is already routine to me. And then you called, and here we are." Matt smiled.

"When did you start smoking?" Mello asked, annoyed.

"A few years ago."

"What the fuck? You smoked at Wammy's?" Mello yelled, pissed.

"You joined the Mafia. Don't tell me what's bad, Mello. You killed people. You're a criminal, I'm a criminal." Matt smirked.

"At least don't smoke that crap in here." Mello sighed.

"Of course not, Mel." Matt sighed, putting the cigarette out on the corner of the table, throwing the filter out.

"I missed you, you know that?" Matt said suddenly, his eyes hidden by the goggles.

"Same." Mello said.

"Are you going to leave me again, Mello?" Matt asked.

"..." Mello didn't say anything, instead looking down at his lap.

"Mello?" Matt asked, leaning forward to touch Mello's arm. "Please, don't leave me."

"I-I might have to." Mello stuttered, trying to pull away from Matt's grip on his arm.

"Why?"

"If you follow me, Matt, you'll get hurt. You might even get killed."

"I'm not afraid, Mello. Please. I'd rather be with you until I die, not alone. Please, Mello." Matt begged.

"You sound like a chick." Mello muttered, laughing slightly. "But I'd rather not leave you again too."

"You LOOK like a chick. Thanks, Mells." Matt smiled, hugging the blonde. Mello blushed slightly, but hugged Matt back. They stayed like that for a while, close to each other, savoring their time together.

"Matty." Mello whispered a few minutes later, pressing his lips to Matt's. The blonde pushed their lips together roughly, the gamer kissing back with equal pressure. Mello's tongue traced Matt's lower lip, the redhead opening his mouth to allow entrance. Both moaned, kissing more passionately, even more roughly, their tongues battling for dominance, Mello winning at the end.

"Mello." Matt whispered as the broke for air, both faces flushed.

"Let me fuck you, Matty." Mello said seductively, giving Matt bedroom eyes.

"Of course, Mel." Matt said, pressing their lips together again. Still kissing, both managed to stand up, Matt's arms around Mello's waist, Mello grabbing at Matt's shirt. They got to the bedroom, Mello pushing Matt onto the bed, straddling him.

"Mmmngh, Mello." moaned the redhead, as the mafiosi took his goggles off, tossing them wildly, the striped shirt meeting the same fate. Matt pulled the zipper on Mello's vest, flinging it in a random direction.

"Louder, Matty." Mello chuckled, kissing Matt's neck, sucking and biting at the flesh, marking Matt as his.

"Mello!" Matt sighed, letting his hands roam around Mello's back, before untying the leather pants.

"Unghh." Mello moaned as his erection was released in the cool air. Mello continued kissing and sucking at the gamer's chest, sucking on a nipple until it was hard and a sexy pink colour.

"Ah!" Matt grunted, one of his hands stroking Mello's length, the other knotted in the blonde's hair. "L-let me suck you, Mel." he whimpered.

"Haha, ok." Mello laughed, "Let me get rid of those jeans." using his teeth to undo the zipper and his hands to swiftly remove the boxers. Mello moaned at the sight of Matt, sweating, face flushed as red as his hair, beautiful dark blue eyes clouded over with lust.

Laying on his back, Mello spread his legs out, allowing Matt to crawl between them. The redhead gently and slowly licked the head, moving up in a gentle, slow motion.

"FASTER!" Mello screamed, hands gripping the sheets as the gamer took him in his mouth. Thrusting into the warm mouth, Matt choked slightly, but closed his mouth around all of Mello, deep throating him. Mello panted and groaned as the tip of his dick brushed Matt's throat, the gamer's tongue licking and sucking him like a lollipop.

"I'm g-gonna!" Mello screamed, releasing into Matt's awaiting mouth. Choking slightly, the redhead drank Mello's seed, some of it escaping down him chin.

Sitting up, Mello grabbed Matt by the hair, joining their lips together again. "I'm gonna fuck you hard into the mattress, Matty." Mello whispered, pushing the redhead down on the bed.

"Spread your legs out a bit. Like that." the blonde directed, reaching over to grab a bottle of Vaseline that was lying on the table. "This will hurt a little so relax, m'kay?"

Matt nodded, smiling at Mello. Squeezing a small amount onto his fingers, Mello stuck one up Matt's ass, watching as the gamer tensed up a bit, then relaxed. Adding another finger, Matt looked a bit pained, but relaxed yet again. Scissoring his fingers, Mello added a third, hearing a loud gasp.

"Relax, it'll be alright." He assured, as Matt relaxed slightly.

"Put it in Mello!" He demanded, moaning. "I want you!"

"Of course." Mello leaned forward to kiss Matt, as he entered slowly, staying as still as possible in the redhead.

"Ugh." a low pained moan escaped Matt's lips. Mello smiled softly, pumping the uke's throbbing length to distract him from the pain.

"Move, Mel." the gamer whispered, wrapping his long legs around Mello's waist. Mello began thrusting, pumping Matt's dick in time with the thrusts.

"MELLO!" Matt screamed, moaning.

"Found it." Mello giggled, thrusting back against Matt's prostate as hard as he could.

"I'm gonna cum!" Panted the redhead, as he came all over Mello's hand and their stomachs.

"MATT!" Mello moaned, cumming deep inside the hacker.

"My precious little uke." Mello said, kissing Matt's cheek.

"Heh." he chuckled, hugging Mello tightly. "I love you, Mells. You know that right?"

"I love you too, Matt."

My first ever yaoi lemon. I can't believe it took me so long to write one! Please review if you want me to continue this story!

Because I might have an idea for this story.

-Pika-chan