Worth Dying Over

I've raised the rating for this chapter, but it's not too graphic. You all have your own imaginations for that (or you can check out my other work) and that wasn't really in the spirit of this piece. A million thanks again to those of you who have reviewed; I really hope something to this effect happens on screen, too! Also, Tony describes a conversation with Gibbs that I'm thinking of making its own one-shot. Keep an eye out for it if you like.

The light falling across her face was disconcerting as Ziva woke. She opened her eyes in confusion, glancing worriedly at the clock. 0700. Her heart sped up and she began to rise from the bed, but a weight at her waist held her still.

Smiling even as she glanced down, Ziva rested a hand on Tony's arm. Of course. They were allowed to come in late. And he loved her.

She rested her head back on the pillow, sorting out the rest of her disorientation. It was the first night she'd slept without a single dream since her return. They didn't always wake her now, they weren't always bad. But they always came.

Ziva twisted slowly around in Tony's arms, examining his face. He was still deeply asleep, completely vulnerable. He loved her.

In his sleep, Tony pulled her closer, rough fingertips grazing her hip and Ziva was suddenly flooded with memories of being undercover with him, of finding her picture in his room on the sub, of staring into his eyes as he told her this was inevitable—a thousand times over the years when they had seemed moments away from this. She'd lived them all over and over in Somalia. And here he was beside her.

She knew after last night that this was far more than sex. If they did this it would be a consummation, at once a beginning and the total loss of what they'd had before.

Ziva watched Tony's lips as he breathed steadily in and out. Couldn't live without you. Words from those lips. As frightening as it was, she knew the truth now. She couldn't live without him, either. She kissed him.

Tony moaned as he woke, responding instinctively.

She pulled back.

"Good morning," Tony said sexily as his eyes fluttered open, his voice deepened by sleep.

Ziva smiled shyly, but kept a few inches between them when Tony leaned closer. "Is this what you want too, Tony?"

The only word he heard was too. He covered her mouth with his again, pulling her against him. Ziva kissed him back hungrily, and no more words were needed.

*

Nearly purring with pleasure, Ziva set the kettle on the stove while Tony dressed. Her hair was still damp from their shower, but they'd have to rush now or face a glare from Gibbs when they got to work.

Tony emerged from the bedroom, buttoning up his shirt and grinning. Ziva passed him the coffee grounds and pointed him toward the coffeepot. He set it up, then turned to watch her, contemplating the grace of her movements.

Ziva frowned.

"What?" Tony asked at once, his brow creasing.

She met his eyes, concerned. "Can we still talk, Tony?"

"Of course," he stepped toward her and reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Ziva relaxed beneath his touch. They'd made this transition so smoothly. "Even before yesterday, I worried when you were in danger. More than when I was in danger alone." She watched his jaw tighten. "And yesterday you did not leave when I told you to—perhaps I should not have, but you were protecting me before yourself."

Tony shrugged. "That's what partners do, Ziva."

She raised her eyebrows. "Does it not change? Because of this?"

Tony sighed, pulling her away from the stove and holding her by the shoulders. "Ziva, I've loved you for years. And it always scares me when you're in danger. Maybe it'll be worse now. But it certainly won't be worse than explaining to Gibbs that we have to find another new agent because you and I can't work together anymore." To his relief, Ziva laughed. "And the rest, we'll work out."

Ziva pulled away from him, still smiling, as the kettle whistled, then turned to Tony again in alarm. "Gibbs!"

Tony hissed through his teeth. "Yeah. Well, when we lost you, he apologized for rule 12. Well, sort of apologized."

She gave him a skeptical look as she poured hot water into her mug. "He will not mind?"

Tony shrugged equivocally. "Oh, you know. Better to ask forgiveness for this too." He promptly clutched his hip, flustered, as his cell phone rang. Ziva laughed again.

"Hey, Boss," Tony answered. "Be right there."

Ziva looked sadly at her tea and leaned over to switch off the coffeepot.

They grabbed their coats in a rush, but as Ziva opened the door to lead the way out, Tony grabbed her wrist and spun her around.

"Tony!" she squealed, smiling.

He looked down into her eyes, overwhelmed again. Happy. He kissed her.

She's alive.

He loves me.

I couldn't live without you.

*Foof*