"Babe, take that out of your mouth," Macy gently pulled on the plastic ring that was half way lodged inside of her daughter's toothless mouth.
"So," Stella leaned back on the couch in Macy's living room, "what are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Macy sighed, biting her thumbnail. "He hasn't been here in weeks, and when he comes home, he barely pays attention to them. It's like…they're not even there."
"Ellie and Nicholas need a father, Macy," Stella raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "They don't need some sort of shadow that shows up every week or so and barely acknowledges them."
"Yeah," Macy half-laughed. "I know. I definitely know that from experience,"
Stella smiled wanly. "It hurt, didn't it?" she shrugged. "so, you want them to experience that same pain?"
A huge hole ripped through Macy's heart at Stella's words. Of course she didn't want them to experience the same pain she did growing up without a father. But Macy painfully realized that either way, her kids had no father. At that point, their happiness was the only thing that mattered in her decision. And now that she—
"Mommy?" Nicholas asked.
"Yeah, honey," Macy tried to smile, but it faltered.
"Where's Daddy?"
"Um…he's out right now."
"Daddy's always out," Nicholas pouted. Stella cocked an eyebrow in her godson's direction to prove her point.
"Yes, Macy, where is Nick?"
"I don't know," Macy shrugged, her voice cracking at the end. "I never know,"
Sighing, Stella reached over and grabbed Macy's hand. "Macy, you have to leave,"
"No," Macy bit her lip and shook her head rapidly. "I'm not doing that to them," she gestured towards her two kids.
"It's the best thing for Ellie and Nicholas at the moment," Stella ran a hand through Ellie's brown curls. "Ellie's a year old, and she hasn't even said 'Daddy' yet."
"That's only because—"
"Macy, she's said 'Mommy' 'Auntie' and 'Uncle' already," The blond said softly. "I wouldn't say 'Daddy' if I didn't have one, either,"
"They have a dad!" Macy exclaimed, standing up.
"But they don't have a father,"
The two friends both stared at each other for a moment, the silence flowing in the space between them. Macy's upper lip twitched. She deeply considered leaving him. Leaving him and living with Stella in her big, spacious, house. The kids would love it.
"They need him," Macy sighed. "I'm not going to leave now,"
"Macy, look at your arm,"
Macy turned her forearm towards her and examined the tattoo ink that decorated it.
Eleanor and Nicholas
The tattoo used to have Nick, Sr. written on it in swirly calligraphy, but she had the tattoo artists go over it and make her son's name wider.
"Does Nick have one of those?" Stella asked softly, even though she knew the answer well.
"I think you should leave now," Macy set her jaw. She picked up Ellie beneath the arms and sat her on her lap. "Who's hungry?"
Stella stood up and walked towards the door. "You have to leave, Macy. Or it'll get out of control,"
***
"I'm home," Macy sighed, jiggling open the door. She found the living room empty. "Stella?"
"I told Stella to go home,"
Macy's breath caught in her throat as she realized who it was. "Nick?"
He ignored the question and walked slowly towards her.
"You were going to leave me, huh?" Nick asked, his voice surprisingly calm.
"Where are Ellie and Nick?" Macy's voice shook with malice.
"They're upstairs, sleeping." Nick cocked an eyebrow. "I'm capable of putting a child to sleep, you know."
"Why are you here?"
"A man can't come and see his family?"
"I'm surprised you remembered what our—your—address was,"
"Is that really a way to treat your fiancée and the father of your children?"
"You're a jackass," Macy muttered and tried to push past him, but Nick grabbed her forearm with surprisingly strong grip.
Macy's breath shuddered, a shock of pain rushing through her. Nick turned her arm slightly and bit his lip as he saw her tattoo. He blinked when he noticed his name was no longer there. Then he set his jaw and tightened his grip on her arm until the cords in his fist showed through his pale skin. The skin on Macy's forearm was turning a yellow-ish color.
"Let me go, please," Macy tried not to squeak in agony. Nick's fingers slowly loosened their grip on her forearm. The silence became uncomfortable.
"Go," Nick said, looking at the floor.
"What?" Macy squinted.
"Go," Nick repeated, louder this time. "You heard me. Leave. Isn't that what you wanted?"
"I—"
"Take the damn kids and your shit and go," Nick yelled.
Macy's mouth opened slightly, and then she closed it. Her lips set in a thin line and she clenched her jaw.
They stared at each other with steely-eyed expressions, a huge change from when they had first gotten engaged.
Macy looked down at the silver band on her left ring finger and slowly slid it off.
She stood on her toes until her lips were at his ear.
"You just lost your only chance. And you can forget it if you think I'm ever going to come back. You might regret this, but I sure as hell won't. So why don't you think for a second about what you're leaving. Your kids, me. Sounds like a lot," she let the ring drop into the damp palm of his hand.
Nick's lips slightly parted.
"You thought you had nothing to lose, huh?" Macy smirked. "You thought wrong."
***
Every night. Every single night, her kids just had to talk to Nick. Nicholas would beg and plead to talk to his dad on the phone and every night Macy would have to dial that all-too-familiar number to reach him.
Every night, Ellie had to burble her words into the phone to make sure her dad was still there. Every night, Nicholas had to chew on his father's guitar pick just to close his eyes long enough to sleep.
Every night, Macy cried herself to sleep.
Of course, Stella noticed that her friend was undoubtedly more depressed than she had ever been before. And, being the fabulous friend she was, Stella brought the tissues. She scooped the ice cream. She fed the DVD players movies like she would an obese kid candy. And then, when the movie was finished, and the ice cream was just a sad puddle of chocolate soup at the bottom of the bowl, and the tissues were crumpled up in teensy balls that lay all across the sofa, Stella would glance at Macy, whose chest would rise and fall with the even breaths of a sleeper.
And she'd call Nick. And she'd tell him the kids were sleeping. And that Macy was sleeping. And that he didn't have to worry, because they were all safe. No, Macy hadn't caught her talking to him yet. Yes, she knew he was sorry. No, Ellie hadn't said 'Daddy' yet.
Stella could never find the heart to tell him that she probably never would.