So all the hype about the new Maximum Ride book and the rumor that Fang is going to die in that book got me thinking. What will his death be like? A strange thought, I know. This is a parody of Fang's death and I might do all the other character's deaths too if people like this. This isn't a sad story, just a weird one. Enjoy!

The flock and I decided to set up camp in this conveniently located cave. It was such a beautiful day today! The tornados were tearing houses off of the ground and the hurricanes were flooding the grocery stores. Such lovely weather! I wish it was like this everyday! Unfortunately, I couldn't admire the fantastic weather anymore because Angel interrupted my train of thinking with her nagging. God, she is so needy.

"Max! For some unheard of reason, I know who will die first!" Angel shouted.

"Who?"

"Oh boy, Max. This is some heavy duty business we're dealing with here." Ah, Angel is so stupid sometimes.

"Who, Angel?" I asked once again, in my manly voice. Wait…I mean my motherly voice.

"Fang!" Of course, at that moment some dramatic music started to play out of no where and there was a shrill scream.

"Sorry. That was me. There was a spider on my new skirt," said Nudge.

Fang seemed oblivious to what Angel had said. He was head banging to Mozart with his magically acquired iPod. We can't afford nice things so whenever we want something it just falls from the sky. Anyway, I can't blame Fang for not paying attention. I mean, come on, Mozart has some pretty badass music. I heard he was coming out with a new album called Darling Butterflies. I can't wait for it for to come out because once it does I am so going to ask the sky gods of stuff to make it fall out of the sky for me. I'll be the coolest kid ever!

I walked over to Fang and yanked out his headphones, which were also given to us by the sky gods of stuff. He screamed like the man he was and slapped me. Fang tends to slap people a lot.

"What the hell was that for? I was jamming out to my main man Beethoven!" Fang shouted. The whole room…err, cave got quiet. It was Iggy to speak first.

"You dare disrespect the almighty Mozart! I shun you!" Iggy said, rather dramatically I might add.

Fang just stared at him and pulled out a white glove from somewhere you really don't want to know. Iggy too, took out a white glove and then they both started to slap each other with it. Fang fell to the ground first, gasping in pain.

"God, Iggy! What's in that glove?" Fang said, while rolling around on the floor of the cave.

"Six pounds of melted butter and a tub of cottage cheese, duh." Wow Fang, you're dumb. Everyone knows that's what you keep in your gloves!

"Hey! I was talking about something important but you guys rudely ignored me!" Angel screamed over Iggy and Fang's voices. Told you she was needy.

It didn't look like Angel was going to get the boy's attention anytime soon so with a baseball bat (also from the sky gods of stuff) whacked them in the heads.

"Well, now that I have your attention I would just like to say that Fang will die. That is all," Angel said with a smile on her face.

This time Fang heard her. You could tell because he was now running around in circles, acting like a chicken with its head cut off.

"Omg! I'm gonna like die and crap!"

"I like farts," said Gazzy because he felt a bit left out.

Fang stopped whining for a second. "No one cares what you like! This is about me! All those poor fan girls are gonna to kill James Patterson!"

Gasman just raised his eyebrow at him and continued to watch Fang roll on top of the camp fire, effectively burning his emo clothes.

"What? I'm just stating a fact. Sorry you have fartaphobia, Fang," Gazzy said.

"True dat my brotha!" Iggy high-fived Gasman.

Fang stood up and gave us one of his 'tough guy' glares. "I don't have to take this, you know! I'm going to run away and die in peace!" And with that, he ran away into the tornados. Of course, I ran after him.

We ran for maybe ten or fifteen seconds before Fang collapsed under an oak tree. Fang wasn't very athletic. I walked over to him and kicked him in the balls.

"Too…tired to…gasp…in pain," Fang panted.

Fang started to army crawl over to the oak tree and kicked it. Repeatedly. He broke some of his toes but he kept kicking. Suddenly, the tree had a face. And it looked angry!

"Fang! I think the tree wants to kill you!" I called out to him but it was too late. It was always too late in the Maximum Ride world!

The tree ate Fang. Wow, I never knew that trees had the ability to eat people. Shrugging, I walked back to the cave, acting like I didn't care. Well, actually I didn't care but meh, whatever.

"Sooo, where's Fang?" asked Nudge.

"Huh? Oh yeah, a tree ate him."

Now, you probably think that everyone was sad and depressed but really, hey started to do the tango with orange slices on top of their heads.

Total fell from the sky because the sky gods of stuff were cleaning out their closet.

"Where's Fang?" Total asked me.

I sighed. "He just got eaten by a tree. No biggie."

Total nodded in a sophisticated way. "He deserved it for dissing Mozart."

Don't worry my dear fan girls. Like I said before, the sky gods of stuff were cleaning out their closet and Fang fell from the sky! Pfft! Everyone knows whenever you get eaten by something you end up in the closet in the sky.

"Max! Look what that mutant tree gave me!" Fang said excitedly.

He then pulled his pants down and mooned me. "Yeah, that's a um, nice butt you got there, Fang."

"No, not my amazingly toned butt! My new tattoo!" Yes, Fang had a butt tattoo. It looked like a squirrel.

A/N: That was possibly the weirdest thing I have ever written. Review please! Unless you want to look at Fang's new butt tattoo. Which I highly doubt that you do. o_O