Two Old Engines

It was the night before Smudger's ship to Sodor was due. After a busy day, he was washed and polished from funnel to footplate, and had settled into the sheds to rest before the big journey. As the moon rose over the horizon, he noticed the other engines were staring at him.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" he asked.

Candy glanced at the other engines before speaking up. "You've been really quiet ever since the Small Controller told you about the trip," she said. "You haven't been yourself, and we're worried."

"There's still plenty of time to say no, if you don't want to go," Joel said.

"It's not that I don't want to," Smudger said. "It's just…" he sighed, looking down at his buffers. "There's an engine I'm sure is there that I'm worried I'll see again."

"You mean that Duke engine you mentioned?" Edward Mann said. "The one you never got along with?"

"I'm sure he's willing to move on," Ji Yeon said with a kind smile. "It's been centuries since you last saw each other, dearie."

"When I last saw him," Smudger said, "I wasn't the nicest engine. I caused lots of accidents and didn't care. I mocked and ignored him when he wanted me to be a better engine. What if I go back and go right back to being like that? What if I never really changed?"

Lewis snorted in annoyance. "And you'd rather stay here and not find out?"

Smudger stared. "Sorry, what?"

"We all only get a few chances to find out who we really are," said Lewis. "These are the scariest moments in our lives, when we have to face our fears, face overwhelming obstacles, or even facing our own selves. You've been given that chance, and it's up to you to face it with everything you've got."

Candy whistled in agreement. "And we've got your back, no matter what."

Smudger couldn't help but smile. "Thanks…all of you." And his eyes gazed up at the moon as it rose above the night sky.

It was a beautiful autumn evening, and Duke wasn't enjoying a moment of it. As the moon rose and his boiler cooled, he watched as the other engines listened to Smudger's wild tales about his adventures in Japan. Clearly, the only thing Smudger had gained since he left, besides the new paint, was a wild imagination.

"…so, the rain's pouring, and suddenly the embankment gives away. The rails split beneath my flatbed, and I slid all the way down the hill through the forest! Next thing I knew, the cables snapped, and I flew forward through the grass and mud!"

The little engines gasped. "Were you scared?" asked Duncan.

"Of course!" Smudger said. "There's nothing scarier than when you're moving and there's no rails beneath your wheels, or anyone in your cab for that matter. It was so dark; I couldn't see anything. I thought I was a goner. But then the morning came, and I saw—"

"That's quite enough tall tales," Duke huffed loudly. "Some of us need to rest, because we're doing actual work in the morning."

The engines stared at him. Smudger looked offended. "Look, I know my stories sound a little wild, but they really did happen," he said. "I'm sure you all have had your own share of adventures too."

Duke scoffed. "We don't have 'adventures'," he said. "We work hard, we make our passengers and the Thin Controller happy, and we call it a day. Maybe if you had thought of that instead of heroic fairytales staring yourself, you wouldn't have been made a generator."

Smudger glared at him. "I'm not the same engine as I was back then," he said. "And I don't need to argue with you to prove it."

Duke looked away, refusing to respond. Smudger sighed and forced a smile. "Sorry, everyone," he said. "I'll finish my story tomorrow." And he backed quietly into his shed.

That morning, the Thin Controller arrived. "Smudger," he said, "today you'll be working with Skarloey. He'll be taking a train to the lake and back. It's a busy time of year and he could use the assistance."

"Yes, sir!" Smudger said with a whistle.

After the Thin Controller left, Smudger heard Duke mutter from his shed. "And do it right. No accidents today."

"I told you, I've got it," Smudger huffed. He hurried to the station before Duke could say another word.

At the station, he was coupled to the back of the train, while Skarloey went in front. "The line gets steep as we get closer to the end of the line," Skarloey said, "so be sure to get ready to push. I'm counting on you!"

The two engines whistled together and puffed away. Smudger quickly came to like working with Skarloey. As the two talked along the journey, Smudger found Skarloey to be wise, kind, and thoughtful. He couldn't help but wonder how different things would be if he had worked with Skarloey when he was young instead of Duke.

Once they got to the station, they left the coaches at the platform and went to the siding and loop. "On our return journey," Skarloey said, "I want you in front, so you can get to know the line better. Let me know if something goes wrong, and I'll instruct you on what to do."

"Got it, thanks," Smudger said.

Skarloey paused for a moment. "Forgive me if I'm overstepping my boundaries," he said, "but would you care to tell me what's between you and Duke?"

Smudger sighed. "We didn't get along when we first worked together. I was ready to bury the hatchet, but I guess he isn't."

"Duke can be a little…abrasive," Skarloey said, "but he means well. All he wants is for us all to be productive and make a good name for our railway. Don't you worry, he'll come around soon."

"I wish I could believe that," Smudger said.

"Don't let him get to you. Focus on doing the best you can while you're here and worry about him later." Skarloey stopped by the water tower. "Now let's get some rest. It won't be long before the return trip."

Smudger wanted to enjoy the trip back, but he kept thinking about what Duke had said to him. And the more he thought about it, the more bitter he became.

"We'll be approaching the viaduct soon!" Skarloey whistled. "Slow down and keep your eyes on the rails!"

But Smudger wasn't paying attention. He was thinking of what he'd say to Duke when they next met. Skarloey felt the chain tug at him and realized Smudger was going faster.

"Slow down! Slow down!" he tooted, but it was too late. There was a nasty "thump", and the brake van pushed back against Skarloey. The train buckled and came to a stop. A rock had fallen on the line, and Smudger had struck it and derailed right in the middle of the viaduct.

Skarloey winced. The drivers left their cabs to survey the damage. The guard pulled out his phone and called for help. The passengers and coaches grumbled in annoyance.

Smudger's driver, fireman and guard all worked together to put Smudger back on the rails. Smudger felt awful and couldn't imagine how this moment could get any worse. But then he looked up to see Duke's tender backing down to pull him and the train the rest of the way home. In that moment, Smudger wanted nothing more than for the viaduct to give out beneath him and drop him in the gorge below.

"So, you're 'not the same engine' indeed!" Duke chortled. "You're even worse than before!"

Smudger was so upset that he didn't say a word through the rest of the journey home.

And Skarloey, pushing quietly from behind, was thinking of a plan.