December 25th

James didn't go to bed on Christmas Eve. He pretended to, but he never really fell asleep. No, he was too busy plotting his revenge against Glenn and Phil. They weren't going to get away with the stunt they had pulled earlier. Nobody attacked him and got away with it. Absolutely nobody.

At about four in the morning, he had a decent plan formed in his head. He rolled out of bed and snuck out of the room as quietly as he could so he didn't wake Mark up. Even though it was Cooper's job to keep Connor from waking them all up at an ungodly hour, Cooper was only going to succeed in that task for so long. When Connor was truly ready to get up and get his presents, then he was going to damn well get his presents and wake the entire house up as he did so.

James walked to Glenn and Phil's room, his smirk already getting bigger and bigger by the second. He couldn't help himself. He had enjoyed tormenting Glenn for years, but that was nothing compared to how much he enjoyed tormenting Phil. There was something about Princess Straightedge that compelled him to torment the fuck out of the younger man. It's probably because he whines like a little bitch, he thought as he carefully opened Crispy and Princess's door. It wouldn't be nearly as fun to torture him if he didn't do that.

Neither Glenn nor Phil stirred as James quietly slipped into their bedroom. The smell of sex was heavy in the air and James wondered if Glenn could be considered a fan of bestiality because Phil had more hair on him than some animals. I'll ask Marky that later, James decided as he walked over to the bed and picked up the lamp that was on the desk next to it. Marky will know the answer.

"No Mommy, I don't want James to pour syrup on me," Phil mumbled. "He'll think I'm a giant pancake."

James paused for a second. "What the fuck?" he muttered.

Phil whined unhappily and started kicking his feet around a little bit. "No no no! James stop it. You can't do that to me when Glenn's next door."

James grinned. So Princess Straightedge was dreaming about him? That was just too funny. He raised the lamp he was holding above his head and smacked Glenn's arm. "Wake up Crispy Critter!" he yelled as loud as he could.

Glenn sat straight up and James immediately smashed the lamp over his bald head, knocking him out. The crash that caused woke Phil up and he screamed when he realized what James did. "Come here Princess," James growled. He grabbed Phil's wrist and threw him over his shoulder. "Did you really think that you and Glenn would get away with that stunt you pulled earlier? Huh? Come on now, you know me better than that."

Phil whined and started struggling wildly to get free from James's grip. "Let me go!" he shouted. "Glenn! GLENN!"

James easily kept a hold of Phil as he carried the smaller man downstairs. "I heard you saying my name when you were sleeping Philly," he said. He walked into the kitchen and put Phil down. He didn't let the raven haired man go though. He kept a hold of him by his hair.

Phil's eyes widened. "It's not what you think James."

James just smirked. "Sure it isn't." He sat down in the nearest chair and pulled Phil down over his lap.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Phil asked nervously.

"Well, seeing as how you were likely the one that put Glenn up to attacking to me, you're the one that needs to be punished," James replied. His hand began tugging Phil's boxers down. "And what better way to punish you than to spank you?"

Phil's jaw dropped. "No!" he said vehemently. He started fighting James harder than ever. "You can't do that. That's just…it's…James please don't. I don't want a spanking."

"Who the hell said I cared about what you wanted?" James asked. He knew that he didn't. He got Phil's boxers yanked down and he started slapping Phil's ass as hard as he could. Phil let out a yelp of pain every time James's hand connected with his ass, but as hard as he continued to struggle, he wasn't able to go anywhere. James laughed at Phil's expense and refused to stop the spanking until Phil's ass was nice and red. "There you go," he said as he dumped Phil down on the floor. "Now if you ever make Glenn do something like that again, I'll spank you till you bleed. You understand me?"

Phil nodded miserably. "Yes," he muttered.

"Good." James got up and went back upstairs to his bedroom. Mark was still snoring away; either he hadn't woken up and noticed that James was not in bed with him or if he did, he just ended up falling back asleep. James didn't really think it mattered either way. He just climbed back into bed and closed his eyes. Now it's nappy time.

….

Four hours later

"PRESENTS! PRESENTS! YAY, IT'S TIME FOR PRESENTS!"

"Connor wa--"

"NO I WILL NOT WAIT! WE OPEN PRESENTS NOW!"

Mark groaned and slowly opened his eyes. He was not very happy with being woken up this early on a day he didn't have to go to work. It just really irritated the fuck out of him. "Lawson, go control your son," he grumbled as he rolled over and pulled the blankets closer to him.

"It's been twenty two years Marky," James grumbled. "If I haven't gotten control of him by now, I doubt that I ever will be able to do it."

The door suddenly opened and Connor dive bombed right on top of them. "Get up Daddy! Get up Marky!" he ordered. "It's time to open presents!"

"Can't we sleep some more?" Mark asked, trying really hard to resist the urge to smash Connor with his pillow. "I'm really tired."

"No!" Connor replied. He hit Mark on the side of the head and then jumped back up to his feet. "If you aren't downstairs in five minutes there will be hell to pay," he warned as he ran out of the room.

James chuckled and sat up. "Your eye is twitching Marky."

"Gee, I wonder why," Mark said sarcastically. He reluctantly rolled out of bed. "Come on. Let's just get this bullshit over with."

The two of them threw on some clothes and went downstairs. The others were already down there waiting for them. Matt was passing the presents that were under the tree and Connor (who had probably grabbed all of his presents before anyone else had even gotten down there ) almost already had all of his gifts open. "Ooooohhhh it's a dinosaur!" he squealed happily. "Daddy Daddy, look what Cooper got me!"

James grinned. "I see that. That's awesome." He looked at Phil and smirked. "Hey Princess."

Phil quickly hid behind Glenn, who now had a large bandage on the top of his head. The nasty look the Big Red Machine gave James was enough to make Mark raise his eyebrows. "Do I want to know what happened between you three?" he asked.

"Your boyfriend is gonna die," was Glenn's answer to that.

James rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah yeah, whatever you say Crispy C ritter." He grabbed Mark's hand. "Come on. Your presents are in the garage."

"Is that why I haven't been allowed in there lately?" Mark asked as he followed James to the laundry room, which was where the door that connected the house to the garage was located.

"Yup," James confirmed. He started to open the garage door. "Close your eyes," he ordered.

Mark sighed and did what he was told. He heard James open the door and then it sounded like his lover was taking some sheets off of stuff. "Okay Marky, you can open your eyes now."

Mark opened his eyes and saw that there were three brand new custom motorcycles sitting in the garage. "Holy shit," he muttered. "You got me all of those?"

James nodded. "Yup."

"That's just…you…wow." Mark walked forward and began examining the bikes closely. They really were a thing of beauty. "I think my gifts for you kind of suck now."

James frowned. "Did you get me something sharp and pointy?"

"Yeah."

"Did you get me something else that I can hit people on the head with?"

"Yeah."

"So why would my gifts suck? You obviously got me stuff that I will like."

Mark grinned. James could be a pain in the ass, but sometimes he was an easy to please pain in the ass.

A very loud explosion interrupted their special moment. They looked at each other and without saying a word, they ran inside to see what had happened. When they got to the living room, they saw a whole bunch of smoke coming from different boxes and they saw that everyone but Gil and Connor had ash covered faces. "What the fuck happened?" Mark asked.

"I gave people boom booms!" Connor said happily. "That was their present."

"I didn't want a damn boom boom," Jeff said. He glared at Connor. "Bastard."

"Shush you," Connor ordered. He pointed to Cooper. "He wasn't supposed to get a boom boom but he was mean to me last night so he got one too."

Cooper glared at Connor. "So this is all I get from you? I get you a giant dinosaur and- this is what I get in return."

"Yes and no," Connor answered. "You gots another present too." He grabbed Cooper's hand and pulled him out of the room. "Come on. I'll show you."

Mark shook his head as the two siblings left. "Kids," he muttered. He sat down and grabbed his pile of presents. "Let's see--"

"Who the hell got me this?" Phil asked in horror. He held up a pair of bra and panties.

Jeff giggled. "You can be a giant hairy woman now Philly!"

Adam shook his head. "Glenn, I knew you were a kinky bastard, but this is a little too much."

"I didn't give him that," Glenn said. "It was probably Cooper."

"How do you know it wasn't from me?" James asked.

"It would have been a severed head if it was from you," Glenn replied.

"Oh yeah. It would have." James laughed and opened the first present he grabbed. It turned out to be the Singapore cane that Mark had gotten him. "Oh fuck yeah!" he said happily. He held the cane up and stared at it happily. "Now this is what I'm talking about."

"Oh dear lord," Gil muttered. "You have got to be kidding me. He doesn't need another weapon."

"Yeah really," Matt agreed. "He's got more than enough as it is!"

"Quiet you!" James ordered. He smacked Matt on the head with the cane. The impact of the bamboo hitting Matt's head caused a loud cracking sound, and as Matt cried out in pain, James laughed. "We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year!" As he sang each lyric, he hit not only Matt, but Adam and Glenn as well. Jeff squeaked and hid under the Christmas tree with Snoopy while Mark just laughed.

James suddenly stopped and pointed the cane at Phil. "You!"

Phil's eyes widened. "James do--ow!" He quickly got up and started running away. James immediately started chasing after him, whacking him with the cane the entire thing. And Mark couldn't stop laughing his ass off. I definitely did good with that present. I really really did.

….

"This present better be good Connor," Cooper muttered under his breath. "I think your boom boom present burned off my eyebrows."

Connor giggled. "Don't worry, it's good." He opened the spare bedroom door. "Ta da!"

Cooper went into the room and stopped in his tracks. Randy was naked and tied to the bed. Immediately he forgot about his eyebrows and grinned.

"You like?" Connor asked hopefully.

"Oh I definitely like it," Cooper confirmed. He kissed the side of Connor's head. "Thank you Connor."

"You're welcome Coopy," Connor said. He turned around. "I go play with my presents now."

Cooper let Connor run off before closing the door and smirking at Randy. Randy stared back at him with wide eyes, but he couldn't say anything because he had a ball gag in his mouth. "Now this is just too much," Cooper said in amusement. He walked over to the bed and took the ball gag out of Randy's mouth. "I love my little brother."

"I'm glad you do, because I don't," Randy said unhappily. He pulled against his restraints. "Damn it, I already spent Thanksgiving here! I don't want to be here today too!"

"Yeah well, you are," Cooper replied. He ran his finger up and down Randy's torso. "You're my present and I get to do whatever I want to you today."

Randy's eyes widened. "Cooper--"

Cooper quickly smashed his lips against Randy's. He really didn't need to hear any more out of the Legend Killer at the moment. Randy tried to move his head away but when Cooper wouldn't let him do it, he gave in and kissed back. Oh yeah, he so likes being my bitch Cooper though cockily as he broke the kiss long enough to remove his own clothes. He didn't feel like wasting any time at the moment. There was no telling who could possibly come and interrupt his fun so he needed to start having it as soon as possible.

"Fuck, you're fucking direct," Randy muttered as Cooper climbed on top of him.

Cooper smirked. "Well what's the point of being indirect?" he asked. He nipped at Randy's neck as he shoved two fingers inside of Orton and started some very fast and half ass prepping.

"I guess…ow Cooper that hurt…you've got a…ooh god…good point," Randy admitted, wincing and moaning every time Cooper moved his fingers.

"I know I do," Cooper replied. He pecked Randy's lips before removing his finger and slamming his cock deep inside of Randy's body. Randy let out a short scream that turned into a strangled moan as Cooper began thrusting in and out of him.

Then, as suddenly as they had started, they were interrupted. Phil came running in and dived under the bed. "Save me!" he screamed.

Cooper stopped in his tracks and looked over and saw James running in with a Singapore cane. "Get back here Princess!" He jumped on the bed with Cooper and Randy and waited for Phil to come out from under the bed on the other side. When he realized that Phil wasn't going to come out on his own, he got off the bed and reached under the bed. Phil screamed as he was dragged out from under the bed. "HELP ME!"

"Dad would you get out?" Cooper asked unhappily. "I'm trying to have sex here!"

Nobody was listening to him. Glenn came in and grabbed James by the throat, which made James start hitting him with the cane instead of Phil. Phil ran out of the room just as Adam ran in, immediately followed by Jeff, who was chasing Adam with a whole bunch of sparklers. "Come on Addy, I just want to see what color your hair will burn!" the younger Hardy yelled.

Matt came running in next and he looked ready to kill his younger brother. "Leave my Adam alone!" he yelled. "Jeff I'm serious. If you set his hair on fire, you are so dead!"

Cooper watched the madness before looking back at Randy. Randy just smirked and summed everything up with four words.

"Merry fucking Christmas Cooper."