Well... this is my first one shot (ha ha I'm not even sure if that's what you call it XD I'm pretty sure that is) this is also my first fic ever (okay maybe not ever... just the first time I post one XD I'm self conscious) Bel x Fran are the awesomest! Well at least my current obsession ^.^ Okay so I told myself to lay low on the dark humor for now... maybe later on I'll do something... oh gosh I'm starting to ramble T.T I do that. I'll stop now. Please criticize hard! Peace out! Fo shizzle! -Eko XD

Rated: T for language-ish purposes... altho I sensored the f word because I don't like it...

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Akira Amano or her characters... but I will when I dominate the world XD

The Dance of the Sugar Plum Froggy

"Ushishi, what do you peasants think you're doing?" Bel smirked as he came into the lounge of the oh-of-course!-Varia headquarters.

Squalo and Levi were fidgeting with the television and a VCR, Fran sat on the floor nearby reading a dusty old manual of some sort, and Xanxus sat in his chair in his usual dictator way (that we luv XP). No Lussuria, but knowing the gay freak he was probably off baking some cookies or something.

"VROI! BEL! GET OVER HERE AND HELP US WITH THIS DAMMIT!" Squalo in his usual matter.

Bel glanced over at Squalo, "Ushishishi No way. Princes don't help gay shark peasants." Bel said walking over and sitting on the couch.

"WHAT THE F**K DID YOU CALL ME!?"

"Yo frog! Hand me the remote." Bel ignoring Squalo motioning for the tv remote.

"You can't watch tv right now Sempi, we're installing this VCR." Fran said in his usual monotonic voice and motioning to the manual he was holding.

"DON'T IGNORE ME YOU F****N BASTARD PRINCESS!" Squalo in the background.

"I don't care, the prince wants to watch tv. Ushishishi." Bel still ignoring Squalo, "And why the hell are you guys installing a VCR for anyways? What? Commoners never heard of a D-V-D play-er!?"

"VROI! XANXUS WHY ARE WE INSTALLING A VCR!?!" Squalo now realizing that he didn't have a reason for his actions.

Xanxus raised an eyebrow as everyone's head turned towards him. Still glaring his usual glare he smiled a somewhat evil grin (a/n really what else is there to smile about?:D) and answered.

"Because... I want to watch this." He said pulling out (obviously) a video tape.

"Why in hell would you want to watch that old gay thing!?" Bel spat

"Because it was a present from you're gay brother."

Bel's eyes widened as his brother was mentioned (well they probably did anywayz...you can't tell with the hair XD).

"Let's watch it!" Squalo now liking where this conversation was going.

"..." Bel just stood there as a dark aura started to creep up behind him, "Why- (pauses momentarily to collect his thoughts) Why would Siel send you a present?" he dared to ask through gritted teeth.

"He's you're gay brother, how would I know?" Xanxus said in a 'that's not important' way, "But he did attach a rather interesting note to it." He pulled out a folded piece of yellow(gold) paper.

Time froze, then it was like a slo-mo action scene: Bel looked at Squalo. Squalo looked at Bel. They both had the same idea. They both sprang for the note, in mafia style (a/n XD lmao mafia style). Camera switches over to Fran, who just sits there expressionless. And then to Levi~ meh no one cares about Levi. Back to Xanxus who swiftly dodges both Bel and Squalo, but at the same time manages to kick both of them across the room. And he does this in a seemingly effortless way, still sitting on his chair. End of slo-mo-ness.

"Get off me you f****n gay shark!" Bel and Squalo were scrambled on the floor, on the other side of the room.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CALL ME!?!"

Meanwhile Xanxus handed the note to the teen in the frog hat. "Read." He demands.

"To Varia, enjoy. Orgelt found this the-" Fran pauses momentarily as if considering a thought, "Oh here I'll read it with effect: To Varia, enjoy... shehshehsheh. (sweat drop on Xanxus, Squalo and Bel) Orgelt found this the other day... shehshehsheh, I thought about using it as black mail at first, shehsheh-"

"Voi! Fran!" Squalo interrupts, "Your impersonation of Siel is great and all... But please get to the point!"

"Why thank you Squalo-Sempi," Fran smiles mockingly, "I can also do the stupid prince very well-"

"FRAN! TO THE POINT!" Xanxus now annoyed-to-the-max.

"Okay, okay," Fran waves his hand in a down motion (in an awfully cute matter I imagine), continuing at his casual pace, "... I thought about using it as black mail at first, but I think I'd like to see how it stirs up things over there. Signed Rasiel. Shehsheh-"

"Fran!" Squalo.

"No, he actually wrote that. See?" Fran holds out the note for Squalo to see.

"Whatever, Levi are you done yet?" Xanxus turns to Levi who had apparently been installing the VCR this whole time.

Levi nods and Xanxus throws the video tape at him with a little too much thrust. Levi catches it though, in a rather cool way too, but no one cares right?

Levi sets up the tv, as everyone eagerly awaits to see the so-called blackmail. Bel is ticked, but slightly worried. He considers leaving the room, but that would be showing defeat (well... not really, Bel was also curious to see the contents stored inside the ancient video tape). He couldn't remember if there was anything worth blackmailing in his past, especially if it was as old as a video tape, so figured it was safe to stay and watch.

Meanwhile the cyan-blue tv screen mutated into static, as the white block letters in the upper right corner read 'play'. After the static dissolved into what seemed to be grass. The person handling the camera obviously was having trouble with it, as the screen shook wildly. But you could tell the scene was being filmed in a backyard. A huge backyard. A backyard familiar to Bel:

"K.. er... I hope this works."

It was a voice that Fran recognized for some reason.

The screen tilts up to see how big the backyard of this enormous manor really was. You see a blond haired little boy running towards the camera person. His eyes hidden behind his bangs. And as he spoke, one could guess that the boy was approximately 4-5 years of age.

"Uncle Mukuro! Uncle Mukuro! Guess what!? Guess what!?"

"Ku fu fu fu, I'm not your Uncle, Belphegor." The camera man corrected smoothly.

Bel scowled at the use of his full name, but by looking at everyone else in the room you could tell they were enjoying this.

"Yeah yeah, Mukuro-sama! Guess what?!"

"What is it? I'm kinda busy trying to figure out how this thing works..." The camera man obviously talking about the camera.

"Me and Fran are getting married!"

As Bel approaches the camera you discover that he had been pulling a greened boy that seemed a year or so younger than him. The green-eyed, green haired boy shows a blank expression.

"Well... I didn't see that one coming!" Xanxus smirks as he (already bored) gets up from his chair and proceeds to leave the room.

Squalo looks back at Bel with a wide grin of evilness that said, 'who-ya-calling-gay-now?'

Bel is speechless as the video goes on.

"Ku fu fu fu," Mukuro now has an interest in this and begans to question the blond's actions, "And may I ask for the reason to this sudden decision?"

"Because Fran is the cutest thing ever!" (a/n ZOMG? DID BEL JUST SAY THAT? XP)

"Ku fu fu fu, you know you can't really marry Fran, right?"

"Why not?"

"Because you guys are both... guys." Mukuro smiling. (altho you can't see it)

"And?"

"Ku fu fu fu, well... gay marriages are usually frowned upon in most societies."

"And? Who cares? I can do whatever I want, I am a prince you know?" The innocent youngster fights back.

"Ku fu fu fu," Mukuro is enjoying this, you can tell, "Well did Fran have a say in this big decision of yours?"

"Yes, right Fran?" Bel looks a Fran, who obviously is to young to know, or care about what was going on. He nods slightly.

"See!?" Young Bel says 'matter-of-factly', "Fran also wants the wedding to be in the spring-"

The tv screen goes black, as five oddly shaped knifes pierce the glass.

"VROI! BEL! WHAT THE HELL!?"Squalo talking about the broken television, "YOU KNOW THAT F***ING BOSS IS GONNA BLAME THAT ON ME, YOU KNIFE BASTARD!"

Squalo stomps out of the room, ticked now that his entertainment had been deceased.

"KAWAII!!" a gay voice squeals, making Bel jump. When the hell did Lussuria come in?! "Fran!! You were so adorable!!!" He runs over to hug Fran who was facing the opposite way so Bel couldn't see his face.

"I always knew there was something up with Bel and you!" He continues, running up to Bel, "And Bel! I never knew you could be so bold! No wonder you never bring home any girls!" He puts one hand to his cheek and another on Bel's sholder, " I was starting to worry about you!"

Another dark aura let off of Bel. "I. Am. Going. To. Skewer. You." (a/n ew that sounds wrong Xp)

"I see!" Lussuria laughs, "You want me to leave so you can deepen your relationship with Fran! Alrighty then! Don't do anything nasty!" He leaves in an awfully cheerful way.

… (awkward silence)

"Tsk." Fran finally speaks up, "I never realized that you felt that way about me Sempi." Fran turns and gives Bel an evil smile. (a/n heh heh Fran is evil:])

Bel turns beet red and scowls at Fran. That little froggy was gonna die in his sleep tonight.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you Bel-Sempi, but that I'm not like that." The frog smirks getting up and leaving the room.

Yeah... He is so dead! Bel still glowering, looks up to see Levi still sitting there looking at him smiling mockingly.

"What the hell are you looking at!? Freaking pervert!" He snaps at him and turns and leaves.

THE. END.

Well yeah that's it. Please R&R. And FYI, Squalo was supposed to be annoying so sorry if I over did it with that. Altho on the other hand I think I might of over done it with the 'ku fu fu's', but that wasn't on purpose XD

So... toodles for now (eww did I just say that?)!

Please Review!

VIVA FRAN X BEL!

-Eko!