12/13/09

Script ep: 1

Warriors Parody

Into The Wild

(After intro)

Scene 1

(Rusty: Ginger tom-cat lives life as a "kittypet" (house cat) He wakes up from the nights sleep and walks over to his food and takes a bite.)

Rusty: Crappy food

(He then walks outside where he sees the cat that lives next door. He jumps on the fence next to the cat who is staring at the wall)

Rusty: Hi Smudge

(Smudge turns around slowly)

Smudge: H-H-HI!!!!!!

Rusty: Um, yea, hi um, what's up?

Smudge: I-I-I-I went to eat b-b-b-breakfast and, and, and (Deep Breathing for 8 seconds) I-I-I really en-enjoyed it.

Rusty: WH-What was in it?

Smudge: I don't know it was white an-an-and it was delicious I LOVED IT!!

Rusty: Um, Kay

Smudge: I go get some more

(Smudge walks inside)

(Pause)

Rusty: Sure is a nice day. (Talking to himself)

(All of a sudden a dead bird randomly lands next to him.)

Rusty: What the Hell!

(Pause)

Rusty: It's still a pretty nice day.

(Randomly Smudge runs out of his house with his owner with an Uzi shooting at him)

Rusty: Holy Shit! Run Smudge run, run!!

Smudge: I know, when I want to take a shit I go outside I get it.

Rusty: The day is still nice.

(All of a sudden a NUC goes of a little farther away)

Rusty: Ok ok this is freaking the shit out of me all right.

Smudge: Wha-What o-ok yea.

Rusty: Yo, Smudge I had a dream last night.

Smudge: Were they fine?

Rusty: Excuse me?

Smudge: Were they big and juicy?

Rusty: Wha-What the hell are you talking about?

Smudge: You know what I'm talking about.

Rusty: Um, no I don't.

(Brief Pause)

Smudge: M'Kay

End Scene1

Scene 2

Rusty: Um anyways I was trying to catch a mouse when my fucking bell started ringing and it scared the mouse, but I looked into the forest and there were eyes staring at me.

Smudge: How many?

Rusty: 3 pairs

Smudge: Ha Ha you got stalkers. (email voice)

Rusty: Fuck you.

Smudge: When you say eyes do you mean like those.

(Smudge points into the forest where the eyes are staring at them.)

Rusty: I'm going to kill you and myself Smudge.

Smudge: Can you use the sponges?

(Pause)

Rusty: ….No

Smudge: I love you.

(Pause Then Rusty walks away into the forest)

Rusty: Anyone here.

(All of a sudden a cat jumps out and starts trying to beat the shit out of Rusty)

(Fight Scene 1 Graypaw vs. Rusty)

Graypaw: Shit you fight fucking good.

(Rusty eventually pins the cat down and the other cats walk out)

Lionheart: You fucking loser you lost to a kittypet.

Bluestar: Be easy on him he looks like a very nice cat. (Bluestar stares at Rusty Creepily)

Rusty: Anyone want to tell me what the hell is going on?

Graypaw: No.

Lionheart: Nope.

Bluestar: Not really.

Rusty: Fuckers!

Bluestar: What's your name?

Rusty: Rusty

Bluestar: What the hell kind of name is that?

Rusty: Um mine

Bluestar: Fucking loser.

Graypaw: That's not nice.

Bluestar: Shut up!!

Bluestar: Anyways do you want to join the clan?

Rusty: Wha....

Narrarator: Ok to clear something up if you just saw this and decided to watch it randomly and you have no idea what's going on let me help…GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASSES AND READ THE DAMN SERIES I'M NOT GOING TO GO INTO A LONG NARRATIVE OF WHAT THE CLANS DO GO BUY THE BOOK OR RENT IT AT YOURE NEAREST LIBRARY… LAZY BASTARDS.

(Pause)

Rusty: What was tha-?

Bluestar: Shut up, just shut up just learn to expect it that happens a lot.

Bluestar: Anyways answer my question.

Rusty: Can I think about it?

Bluestar: No you have to answer me right now… jk.

Rusty: jk?

Graypaw: Loser

Bluestar: Look just meet us hear tomorrow at sun-high.

Rusty: Sun-high?

Lionheart: What the hell is wrong with you? That means noon.

Bluestar: Fucking loser.

Rusty: What?

Bluestar: Nothing

Rusty: I feel verbally abused.

Bluestar: You should.

Rusty: What?

Bluestar: God shut up I didn't say anything.

(Pause)

Rusty: Kay

End Scene 2

Scene 3

(The next day at noon)

Bluestar: So do you have an answer.

Rusty: Well, I was thin-.

Bluestar: Silence, answer the question!!

Rusty: um… I was about to sa-.

Bluestar: I'll kill your family with a thought answer the question!!!

Rusty: Ok I'll join, Jebus Christ

(Bluestar giggles)

Bluestar: You said Jebus.

(Bluestar leads Rusty through the forest till they get to camp, naturally everyone was pretty pissed that a kittypet was in their camp.)

Bluestar: Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather here beneath the highrock for a clan meeting.

(Most of the cats were already there so few cats came out from where ever they were hiding including the attractive medicine cat.)

Rusty: Dude (Rusty whispers to Graypaw) she's fucking hot.

Graypaw: Yea, but she's the medicine cat whom is OFF LIMITS besides you're too young to mate and have sex only warriors can do that

Narrator: Apprentices turn to Warriors when they turn around 12 and 13 and a month for us is a year for them.

Rusty: ……So he seriously just pops out of nowhere and says something random.

Graypaw: Yep

Lionheart: Shut Up guys Bluestar is about to speak.

Rusty: M'kay

End of Scene 3

Scene 4

Bluestar: Now I know you're wondering why I called you all out here today and you may not know this yet but there is an outsider in our mist. I'm not going to point him out from the crowd… THERE HE IS THERES THAT FUCKER THE GINGER CAT WITH THAT FINE FUCKING ASS ISN'T HIS ASS JUST SO HOT.

(Obviously everyone turns and stares)

Rusty: What the Fuck Whore it was supposed to be silent bitch.

Bluestar:...I forgot

Longtail: Don't waste your breath Bluestar I'll take care of him for you.

Bluestar: Ohhh a fight I want to watch huh please can I pleaseeeeeeeeeee

Longtail: Umm Kay

Rusty: Oh shit

Graypaw: Have fun with your fight good luck

(Fight Scene 2 Rusty Vs. Longtail)

(Not going into fight that's up to the animators but at the end Longtail bights down on Rusty's collar tearing it off.)

Rusty: Hey the fuck you tore off my collar bitch.

Bluestar: I declare Rusty the Winner!!!!!!!

Longtail: Why he lost?

Bluestar: ……………..I said he's the winner.

Rusty: Sweet

(Actual quote from the book)

(A ray of sunshine then broke through the clouds and lands on Rusty making his fur look like it was on fire.)

Bluestar: The sun makes you look like the ground is on fire. From this day forward you will be known as Firepaw.

Firepaw: Wow Bluestar that was pretty deep

Bluestar: Yea STFU.

Firepaw: What?

Bluestar: What?

Firepaw: Didn't you say something.

Bluestar: No

Firepaw: Oh, M'kay

End Scene 4

End Episode 1