Disclaimer: House and Cameron do not belong to me. I claim no ownership of these complicated yet amazingly portrayed characters. I do however own the plot of this story.
A/N: Cameron sailed away, so did my favorite ship on the show. But hope remains. This is the pigment of that hopeful wish that someday Cameron will be back. No Beta and I'm a foreigner, feel free to give constructive critic.
== She Loves House ==
Cameron cried again.
She didn't really care about some spectators that were still in the stadium and bound to witness her tears.
She saw a bright green monster truck smashing smaller cars underneath its 66 inches tires and she cried. What a silly reason to cry?
How many times in a day could a woman cry?
How many gallons of tears would she shed before it all done?
She needed it to be done.
She wanted this pain, this anguish, this thing, whatever it was that stabbing her heart; making this deep wound, to vanish.
She knew tears would do her no good. She knew it would take a very long time for her to heal.
Yet, she cried again. Silent streams of tears were falling down her cheeks, dampening the collar of her blouse. She lifted one arm and brushed her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater, willing for the stream of salty water to stop.
They said one should love someone for whoever that someone is, not for whoever that someone should be.
She loved House.
She still felt that strange thump in her heart that always went a little wild whenever she thought of him.
She had loved Chase too, at some point. They had had a beautiful life for a while.
But both Chase and House had turned into these men, she knew she could not save. These men, she could not live around.
She didn't need and didn't want them to be someone new. She just wanted them to comeback to whoever they were before life turned pages into this chaos; House before the meth and Chase before the Dibala case.
Or whoever they were long time ago. A very very long time ago.
Chase. She gulped hard as his name passed her thought. What had they done to each other? How many injustices and lies had she thrown at him? And how much of that injustices and lies that he had thrown back at her?
House.
House was…
She could not think of him without shedding more tears.
A group of children passed her by, laughing and talking almost all at once. She straightened herself, forcing a calm composure.
One of the boys was saying something, causing his friends to bark hearty laughter. The only girl in the group glared at them but Cameron could tell that the ponytailed girl was trying her best to hide a smirk.
A smile crept up on Cameron's face. A sad smile that emerged from what vivid memory she had about the old team.
Old.
Yeah, old.
The old House, the old Chase, her old self.
The day when House was annoying but had never really that mean.
The day when Chase was Chase; a man who would do anything to reach his goal but still had respect to his profession.
The day when they were very much like the kids. Well, maybe not that much.
The day when there was a glimpse of hope for her and House to be… something.
Cameron sighed, deeply; wiping the remnants of her tears with the back of her hands.
"You're so downright predictable." A far too familiar mocking tone along with taps of a cane prevented Cameron from looking up. She knew exactly who was behind her.
House.
"From all the running away places in the world, all the bars and pubs and beds with extra pillows, you choose this place." He sat beside her. The plastic seat squeaked a little bit as he straightened both legs, resting his feet on the seat in front of Cameron, effectively trapped her.
She wondered if his legs were really the mother of all his problems.
"Are you trying to make these people see your blotchy face and pity you instead of watching Dan Runte's Bigfoot does a back flip?"
She sat still, silently wishing him to give up and leave her alone.
"You do know that silent treatment only works for kids, don't you?" He tapped his cane impatiently. One of the things that he did best was speaking like he could read her mind.
She hated that.
She looked away, partly because she didn't want him to see a drop of tears that had escaped her eyes.
Damn it Cameron, compose yourself. She mentally kicked herself for her weakness.
"Come on. You're the one who chose to leave. Don't cry and sulking like it's hurt you more than it's hurt me!"
At his word, she turned her head swiftly. Did he just say that it hurts him too?
"See, that's how to get attention from a cry baby." He smiled smugly.
She huffed and stood, tightening her sweater around her body. "I need to go."
"Over my dead body." His foot shot up, nearly kicked her chin, stopping her movement. "Or over my nearly dead leg, to be exact."
"What do you want House?"
"Nothing. Unlike you, I know that I can't get everything I want. And unlike you, I don't cry over my own stupid decision."
"Coming from a man who pops drugs to justify his crappy life." She spat back.
"That man is better than a wife who has leaved her husband just because said dim-witted husband killed one person to save hungry babies and widowers."
"Now you say that. You're the one who corrupt him!" Anger washed away sadness, Cameron pushed House's feet away.
"Ouch. Crippled abuser!"
She walked between the rows of plastic chair, deciding on ignoring him completely.
"Yeah. Just like that. Run Cameron, run. You could not change the people you love so you run. Coward!"
She didn't stop. She could hear him following her step. The exit of the stadium was zooming ahead of her.
"Okay, this is tiring. Can we stop?" He managed to catch up with her purposely long strides.
"So you can make fun of me again? No, thank you." She felt sorry to see him rather breathless and chastised herself for it. She should have learned to stop feeling sorry for House.
"Listen."
She didn't want to listen. She had decided and she would live through her decision. She came to see this Monster Truck show, from all of place in the world, as a goodbye to her previous live, a farewell to him. She had a flight in two hour and the last thing she wanted was seeing House and let him affect her decision any further.
"Cam… Allison listens."
She glanced slightly. Her eyes found him bending over a chair; hand on his bad leg, his breath ragged.
Oh she so would not fall for that.
"Listen." He started again, straightening his upper body and leveled his gaze with hers.
She stared back, wanting to memorize his face for the last time. "Okay, 3 minutes."
He moved closer. She stepped away. Any kind of closeness would make her betray herself.
"Although I was completely on his side, I'm not going to apologize over Chase's smartass butchery action. He did it with the help of his cell-less brain."
That was the hard truth. Chase did it because he wanted to do it. She understood the reason but she hated the action. She hated herself more for not preventing him from doing it.
"I'm not going to apologize for what I did to myself too."
She nodded. House was House; he was a myriad of trouble from the very beginning. She was the one who had chosen to stay around.
He stepped closer; his piercing blue eyes retained her from moving away. "But if it will give you a tearless sleep at night, I'll say that I apologize for dragging you along the way."
Had he just apologized?
His eyes deep blue ocean, and for a second Cameron thought she saw regret in them.
Had he really apologized?
Words failed Cameron, she waited for him to make witty comments or say something to ruin the moment. But House closed the distance between them silently. His hand on her arm and in one slow yet confident movement his lips were on hers.
The kiss only lasted for a mere second but she knew that she would feel it for the rest of her life.
"I'm sorry for letting you think that you had loved a man who did not love you back."
His words were salt to her gaping wound, causing the tears that had been well contained to break free.
"House…" She whispered.
"You deserve better man and better life Cameron. I'm sorry I had let you suffer this long." He walked away, leaving Cameron with the trail of his touch burning through her arm.
She wanted to call him back. Desperately aching to know if he had meant what he said.
And again, as if reading her mind, he turned back right before the door. "If another city fails you, comeback here, maybe I'll be a better man then."
She nodded, wiping the tears again, watching him limping outside the building. She realized then, better man or not, she would always love him.
And when the stadium was finally empty, Cameron too, leaved the stadium with a smile on her face. She would cry no more.
EnD
Thank you for reading:)
