Disclaimer: I don't own anything, not even the prompt. I also don't own the movies mentioned in the fic.

Author's Note: Yet another request from a friend. This one is purely dialogue. Enjoy and review if you want.

"So, you nervous?"

"Why would I be nervous?"

"Its the first date, duh!"
"Quil, we've known each other for a long time, we're soul mates, there is no way that this will be one of those 'first impression' situations that I have to nail in order to have a repeat."

"Is that what your wearing?"

"Whats wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Jacob, your wearing a shirt that says, 'I see you've noticed my giant PP'. Hardly a date shirt. Actually, I think I got you that shirt as a gag gift for your birthday."

"I figured it would get a good reaction. Besides, its not really a date, we're going to a movie. As far as I know, we've done that like a million times."

"What movie?"

"Zombieland."

"Zombieland? You serious?"

"What were you expecting? A chick-flick? I don't think that would be received well."

"I don't know, but Zombieland? Was that your idea?"

"No, I wanted to see stay home and watch Inglorious Basterds again."

"How original. How many times have you watched that movie?"

"Enough times that I don't even have to look at the sub-titles anymore."

"Maybe you should go out for dinner then go ice-skating. Thats romantic."

"Quil, its not a date and Paul would probably kill me if I tried to take him ice-skating. Remember the roller-blading thing?"

"In Paul's defense, roller-blading is really gay."

"Quil, we're two men."

"Your point?"

"...Your an idiot."

"I still think you should go do something romantic. You never do nice things for Paul, he might enjoy it."

"You want to know what happened the last time I did something 'romantic' for him? He glared at me and with held all physical activities for two weeks! That includes kissing!"

"Was that why you were so mopy? Figures I guess. What did you do?"

"I set up a romantic dinner and invited him over. When he got there I tried to take his coat from him and he flipped and said I don't need to treat him like a woman."

"Paul has issues with stuff like that, he thinks he is being emasculated. He said so."

"He told you that? So what, should I take him to a monster truck rally or something?"

"Well, you could, but he would probably glare at you the whole time."

"Love is so complicated."

"Just be romantic without making him think your treating him like a woman."

"How do I do that?"

"Take him ice-skating!"

"Thats like calling him a pretty princess."

"Seriously, I think you should take him ice-skating."

"Why do you keep pushing that? Do you know something I don't?"

"Lets just say that he might have said something about wanting to try it."

"I didn't know you guys talked about stuff like that? How come he never told me that? I'm his soul mate!"

"I didn't say he said it to me, did I?"
"You eves dropped!"

"More like read his journal."

"He has a journal?"

"Yeah, good stuff, really."

"I should be angry that you invaded his privacy but this is helpful. What else?"

"He wants the Wedding Singer and Eight Crazy Nights for his birthday. I also know what he is getting you for your birthday. Your gonna love it."

"Really? What is it?"

"Can't tell you, but trust me, you'll love it."

"Okay, fine. So beside ice-skating, what should else should I do?"

"Hmm...watch The Lion King, he loves that movie."

"I really need to get to know him better, I should know all this stuff."

"Don't worry about it, just read his journal."

"I'm not gonna do that, he'd catch me and torture me."

"I think you could take him."

"Well, I know I could but he wouldn't beat me physically. He would with hold all physical relations until I beg him for it."

"How come you never threaten to with hold that from him?"

"Are you kidding? I would never get any. Hes like a woman that way."

"Don't let him know that."

"I have some self-preservation, you know."

"So are you going to change, or what?"

"What should I wear?"

"Paul really likes that black long sleeve shirt, it accentuates your muscles and makes you look hot."

"You think so?"

"Those were Paul's words not mine. Also, those really nice jeans that your sister Rachel bought you for your birthday. They make your ass look really good."

"Your creeping me out."

"You want Paul to be putty in your hands, or what?"

"Your right. I'll wear them."

"Good. And don't do anything with your hair, you look great with the bed head look."

"He actually writes stuff like that in his journal?"

"Thats only the half of it. Trust me, that boy has got some crazy fantasies. Not to mention the dreams."

"You read about my boyfriend's fantasies?! Your a pervert! I should kick your ass!"

"Chill Cujo! It was all accidental, trust me I didn't want to know what he fantasizes about!"

"Just stop reading his journal and I won't kill you."

"Deal."

"So...what kind of fantasies does he have?"

"Mostly kinky stuff like doing it on Sam's kitchen counter while Emily and him are upstairs sleeping."

"Really?! I should bring that up, it might be fun."

"Don't talk to him about it, just throw him on the counter and have your naughty way with him."

"He is really specific about this stuff isn't he?"

"I swear to God I thought I was reading a girl's diary."

"Makes you wonder why he gets so mad when I try to be romantic and stuff, huh?"

"Indeed it does."

"I'm surprised you aren't weirded out by this stuff. Are you like a fag hag in disguise or something?"

"No, thats Kim and Emily. I'm just really secure with my sexuality."

"Its weird, this is almost like girl talk. Paul would have a field day with this if he found out."

"Yeah, it is...but then again, I get kicks from reading a gay man's diary. A gay man's very graphic diary."

"Journal."

"Whatever. Isn't it about time you went and picked him up?"

"Oh yeah. How do I look?"

"Dashing."

"Is it weird that he was so adamant about me picking him up?"

"He has this whole night fantasized in his diary."

"Journal."

"Whatever. You picking him up is part of it. He thinks that is the only thing that will actually be like his fantasy or whatever. Little does he know."

"So this is all part of his fantasy?"

"Yep. Oh by the way, after the movie when you drop him off, he wants you to pin him up against the door and do that thing with your tongue that he loves."

"What thing?"

"I don't know, it just said 'he curls his tongue in a certain way and it drives me crazy'."

"Your quoting his diary now? How often do you read it!?"

"Journal. And whenever we aren't on patrol together."

"Whatever. Well, your going to stop, because that is just weird."

"After all this help I'm giving you? You should be indebted to me!"

"Right. Anyway, pin him against the door and do the curly thing with my tongue, I can do that. What else?"

"Then he is going to invite you in and you two will then fulfill a few of his fantasies, which I'm not telling because it would ruin the surprise."

"Sweet!"

"Thats only if you do everything right, so don't mess up."

"Okay, ice skating, Lion King, door, curly tongue thing. Did I miss anything?"

"Wait, you gotta take him to get Mexican food after ice skating and you have to let him get the enchiladas and rice, no matter how much it costs because then he will make you breakfast tomorrow morning. Your favorite along with sex on the dining room table and sofa."
"Fucking awesome!"

"Who knew Paul puts out on the first date?"

"Paul puts out without a date."

"Wow, you got lucky."

"Yes, I do get lucky, a lot."

"I know, he writes that in the journal, too. Your a beast in the sack."

"Thank you. Good to know I can perform."

"Oh yes, you blow his mind."

"Can you stop that, its weird."

"Sorry. Just saying."

"Makes me wonder why it is so easy to with hold sex, if I'm so good at it."

"He likes how aggressive you are after not getting any for a while. It makes the sex awesome."

"Huh...never thought of it like that."

"Its true, he actually likes with holding for a while just so it will be better. Plus he likes knowing you love him enough to put up with him even when he is being an ass."

"So he does it on purpose! Thats cruel!"

"Its for a good cause though."

"True, but still. Its torture."

"You should get going, or you won't even get a date. If your late he'll be pissed."

"Alright. See you."

"Bye, have fun."

"...And Quil?"

"Yeah?"

"You do know Paul is going to kill you for reading his journal."

"He isn't going to ever find out."

"Quil, Paul was in the closet the whole time."

"Paul...buddy...hi."

"You were saying, Quil?"