A/N: Hey, I live! And I think I was half-asleep when I wrote this...

"Uncle, this isn't going to work," Zuko complained, scowling as the Earth Kingdom's harsh sun beat down upon them, changing his armor into a portable oven.

"Of course it will, Prince Zuko. One must have patience. Would you like a cup of tea while we wait for our guest?"

"No, I wouldn't! I want the avatar in chains!"

"Kinky," said a blue-clad boy, stepping into the area, obviously not having heard much beyond 'in chains.' "What do you want with Aang?"

Silence.

"The avatar?" he elaborated.

"Ah, yes," Iroh replied. "My nephew would like to see him in chains, which he was explaining before you got here." Before Sokka could launch into his rant about fiendish plots to capture the avatar, or about how wrong that mental image was, Iroh continued. "I have a business proposition for you."

Sokka rolled his eyes. "I will not tell you where Aang is, bring him here, or put any member of the Gaang in danger," he rattled off, sounding as though it was a memorized speech. Which, given the number of times Zuko had tried kidnapping the avatar, it may well have been by that point.

Iroh, though, knew the magic words.

"I have bacon…"

"Sold!"

A/N: Please review!