**Hey you noble readers! So like it said, this is a diary about Kanda…and his, well…his days of course. He tends to be lazy some days, so please forgive him for that, also, he's not the best in his language class…wait, do they even have language class?? O_o Well, who knows, please enjoy a little bit of Kanda's typical life every day. Please also note some of the events mentioned in his 'diary'… (Wait diary sounds too girlish…hm…let's use…journal) may not follow the sequence at all mentioned in the original story. I do not own D. Gray-Man (although I wish I did, [laughs]) Please leave a review, it let's Kanda knows he has listeners, (he doubted me when I told him T_T) and I guess, it will give him encouragement to continue his daily, um…journals. ^_-**
December 15th, 1809
12: 07pm
Dear Diary, Sorry about that, let's start over…
Hey journal,
Wow, I didn't know that sounded so cheesy, but hey, I was compelled to. This is some stupid child's idea; I don't even have anything to say. This is so weird, I feel senile, and it feels like I'm talking to myself, (though I sometimes do). Well, I guess I should start with my day.
Today is a typical day in the nineteenth century, overcast and gloomy. I'm at headcounters right now, awaiting my next mission to be assigned. It's around midday right now, and I just finished eating my daily supply of Soba…I like that food. Huh? Sorry about that, there's a knock at my door, hang on a sec.
12: 35pm
Jeez! I hate that kid! That-that BEAN SPROUT! Yeah, the capitals literally mean I'm yelling…in my head. Right know I'm annoyed. Stupid bean sprout. He's really annoying, like really do I really care that his birthday is coming up. Oh, wait you don't know. So let me give you some insight to my problems. Hmm…how do I do this? I'm really bad at writing and stuff. And it's not funny so don't laugh. …What? No, you insolent fool, I am NOT illiterate! I can write, just not like an amazing goddess of words. …sorry, god. Do you really think I'm that stupid? Well, I'm sorry that I used 'goddess' instead of 'god'. It's the same thing, is it not? Shut up! Of course I know I'm a guy what kind of question is that?! If only I could cut you down.
Whatever, getting back to the matter at hand. I'll write you a script of the conversation. You know, I'm really good at memorizing conversations ^_^, it's my stronghold. What's that you ask? NO. I. Am. Not. A. Stalker. What do you people take me for, I just have a good memory, is that a sin?! (Insert angry mark here). (Calming down) So here's the script.
KNOCK! KNOCK!
Me: Darn what is it know? And just when I got this new diary journal.
Allen: Hey Buddy! It's me!
Me: …
Allen: Come on, don't be Mr. Grumpy, let me in. I have something important to talk to you about.
Me: Don't care. Go away.
Allen to Lavi: Why?
Me: Okay if Lavi is there, I am DEFINATELY not coming out.
Lavi: Come on Yu.
Me: Don't call me Yu or I'll cut you.
Allen: I dare you.
Me: Shut up BEAN SPROUT! Now go away, can't someone have some privacy around here?
Both (in an I-so-know-what-you're-doing voice): …ARE YOU WRITING TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND?
Me: No losers don't have one and don't need one. Now go.
Allen: So mean….so cold….
Lavi: Oh it's alright Kanda, I'll be yours if you want.
Me: You must really want to die.
Lavi: Are you in the washroom?
Allen: That's what you get for eating Soba.
Me: (twitching why grabbing a sword) Okay, I'm coming out.
Both: Yeah!! …wait do you think he's actually mad?
Lavi: Hmm, why would Yu be mad? I just offered to become his girlfriend; he must feel like the most luckiest man in the world.
Allen: But…I thought I heard malice in his voice?
Lavi: Hmm…that was the happiness when he heard my offer. Then we can get married.
Allen: Uh…well two guys and…uh…
Lavi: That's okay, Yu can play wife.
Me: (Opening the door) Hello guys, it's time to die.
Lavi: Wow Yu, you could so play the bad guy in like plays and stuff.
Me: DON"T CALL ME YU DAMMIT!!!
Lavi…you have nice smelling breath, which I must admit I'm surprised (turning to Allen) I thought Soba not only tasted, but smelled bad and he eats it every day. :3
Me: This is beside the point, but I brush my teeth every day, after I eat.
Allen: Aww, that why you have-
Lavi: NICE SHINNY WHITE TEETH (like the earl..)
Me: WHAT?
Lavi: Nothing…^_^
Me: (holding temples) Okay, what do you want?
Lavi: YOU! YU!
Allen: To invite you to my birthday!
Me: …no way
Allen: Oh come on! It's my first birthday after starting at the exorcist headcounters.
Me: Don't care (turning to my door) and don't bother me again.
Allen: But—
Lavi: Oh well, it's okay Allen all the good soba, I guess I'll eat it.
Me: (stops) Damn! Fine. I'll be there, but don't expect me to get you anything, except for a punch in face, wait, that would only make you smaller.
Allen: Oh Kanda
Lavi: I know, let's call him KANDY!!!!
**The following details were not written due to extreme violence**
So that's my first day so…yeah, too much anger there. And my sword has blood on it. …NO I don't cut myself, its Lavi's, jeez. How dare he call me….call me…KANDY!!!! Grrr, unti8l tomorrow, bye.