Homies! It's time for another oneshot. Yay! It's almost like an early Christmas present from me to you, except not really? Hum.

Facts for knowing:

This takes place a while before Yoshi's Island. Thus, Naval's size (or lack thereof)

Canonically, Bowser's father has never been given a name, so I went with the fan-theory that his name is Morton, what with one of Bowser's kids being named Morton Jr, and all. I know that Morton is actually named for a musician who had a Jr in his name, but I felt that going with this theory was preferable to just making up a name. So there.

Anyway, please enjoy this slightly depressing story!

…

The Koopa Troop had always been like this. Always fighting, always surrounded by enemies. If they ever ran out of enemies, they'd just go out and make new ones. That was the way things had always been done. Such was their way.

Kamek knew this better than anyone. He'd seen battle after battle, watched both the Mushroom and Koopa Kingdoms evolve over the past few decades. He'd already made the rank of Head Magikoopa long before King Morton was crowned and he'd stayed there ever since. When he was younger they called him a prodigy.

Of course, you don't call someone well into their forties a prodigy.

"Brilliant, perhaps," he mused, "Definitely not a prodigy."

He was sitting in his office, leaning over his desk as he filed down the thorns on a small Piranha Plant. It was planted in a pink pot, and it wriggled under the file. "Why not?" it asked, its voice tiny and feminine, but more than a little forceful. "You're more brilliant now than when you were little, right?"

"Obviously," he said. "It's a semantics thing. You use words like 'prodigy' for kids. You outgrow things like that."

"Don't see why," she said. "You don't look all that great today, if you don't mind me sayin', Master Kamek."

"You don't have eyes, Naval," Kamek said, "How can you tell how I look?"

"You're the genius here, not me," she said, grinning at him with razor-sharp teeth.

He sighed, putting down the file and resting his chin on his hand. "I should be able to plant you back in your castle soon. My toadies have almost cleaned out all that gunk the rookies left."

"Glad to hear it," she said, "But you're changin' the subject."

He leaned back in his chair, stretching out. "It's nothing, really. I just got some weird stuff in my crystal ball this morning. I'm sure it's nothing."

She cocked her bud to the side, curious. "Stuff? Like what?"

Kamek closed his eyes, trying to think of how to describe it. He was leaning towards 'ominous', but before he could decide for sure he was pulled out of his thoughts by a loud knocking on his door. He scowled. "I can't even get one day off, can I...?"

"It's 'cause you're such a prodigy," Naval said, smiling.

Kamek heard the door swing open, but he didn't bother to look up at whoever was disturbing him.

"Someone's game had better be ending," he growled at the newcomer.

When he didn't get an immediate response Kamek looked up. The person who had disturbed him was of no consequence-- just a miscellaneous Magikoopa. Kamek didn't register his face. The only thing he noticed was the expression on his face.

"Someone's game has ended," Kamek said, his chest tightening.

The Magikoopa nodded, out of breath.

"Whose?" Kamek asked.

"King Morton," the Magikoopa said.

All at once Kamek was on his feet, leaving Naval behind as he rushed out into the hall, following the Magikoopa to the King's chambers. He was all questions the whole way. Hadn't the king been carrying one-ups? What about revival potions, do we have any ready?

"We've all been depleted, sir," the Magikoopa said, "With how much he's been out picking fights and all."

"What'd he do?" Kamek asked, "If we didn't have a means to bring him back... he knew better! What was he doing?"

"He tripped," the Magikoopa said.

"Just that?"

The Magikoopa nodded. "Tripped, fell into a lava pit."

They'd arrived at the king's chambers. Kamek put a hand to the wall next to the giant red double-doors, catching his breath. Is that all it took to take down the ruler of a kingdom? A misplaced step-- a mere stumble?

The Magikoopa put a hand on Kamek's shoulder. "Sir?"

Kamek shrugged him off. He pushed open the doors and stepped into the room. There he found various members of the Koopa Troop circled around the king's bed, where King Morton's scorched bones were piled up. At the sight of it, Kamek lost the composure he was trying so hard to keep. He fell to his knees, clenching his fists against the cold stone floor. Several of the room's occupants noticed him and rushed over, offering support.

"Away, all of you!" he yelled. He covered his face with his hand. "I just... I need a moment. Get away."

Everyone backed up. He took a few deep breaths and stood back up. "Th—thank you. I'm alright now." He looked around. "Where's the prince?"

"Napping," replied a Troopa. "Nobody's bothered to wake him."

Kamek adjusted his glasses. "I see. Does anyone have any idea what the chain of command is supposed to be, here?"

The Troopa looked confused. "The prince is next in line, sir."

"The prince is barely two years old," Kamek said, "Whoever becomes his advisor will pretty much be running the Koopa Kingdom, so we can't let just anyone have that position. Surely his majesty left some sort of instructions, he tended to think ahead."

Everyone looked around at everyone else, before a Hammer Bro somewhere in the crowd yelled, "Go on, then, everyone start searching!"

The room's occupants became a flurry of movement, rushing around the room looking for anything resembling a set of instructions. Kamek, still overwhelmed, walked out of the room and sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall.

What was he going to tell little Prince Bowser? It'd be one thing if Morton had gone out in a blaze of glory, in the heat of battle, but this... Bowser would never accept this.

The Hammer Bro from before came out into the hallway and approached Kamek, followed by two Magikoopas. Kamek couldn't tell whether the Magikoopa from before was among them.

"Well?" Kamek asked.

The Hammer Bro handed over a piece of paper, covered in the king's handwriting. Kamek skimmed over it, eventually finding the sentence As for a godfather for Bowser, Kamek should be fine. He's practically been running the kingdom since my old man was king, so I'm sure he can take good care of my kid.

Kamek stared at the page, blinking at the letters. "I'm sorry, I must be tired. What does this say?"

"You're the prince's godfather," the Hammer Bro said.

"I can't be," Kamek said. "That's ridiculous."

"Well, that's what the paper says."

One of the Magikoopas spoke up, holding up a different piece of paper. "If you don't feel you're up to it, sir, there's a list here showing who else can take the position. We can just go to the next in line."

"Who's next in line?" Kamek asked.

"Kammy," the Magikoopa said.

Kamek groaned. Surely his Highness did that on purpose, to keep Kamek from backing out. "I think I need a moment to myself."

"Of course, sir," the other Magikoopa said. "We'll wait here for your decision."

Kamek stumbled back to his office. He leaned against his door after closing it, staring at the ground in front of him. This was too much. It was too much all at once, and he couldn't do it.

"Master Kamek?" Naval said, "You okay?"

"No," Kamek said. "I'm not okay."

Kamek explained the situation to Naval, who then wiggled a bit and said, "Isn't this a good thing?"

"Our king just died," Kamek said.

"No, besides that, obviously that's awful," Naval waved a leaf. "But haven't you been tryin' to work your way up the ranks your whole life? Now here the king thinks you're good enough to raise the prince. That's big."

"I'm not fit to raise a child!"

"You've been doing a good enough job takin' care of little ol' me," Naval said.

"You're a plant," Kamek said, "The prince is a... a very energetic royal Koopa."

"You can fight battles, you don't think you can take care of a kid?"

"Yes! Yes, exactly!"

"I don't think that's what's rilin' you up," she said, "Not really."

Kamek looked away. "Kch. What do you know? You're a plant."

"Don't you go sayin' that every time I make a point," she said.

Kamek sat down at his desk, still averting his eyes from Naval's gaze. She leaned in, trying to get a better look at the Magikoopa's face. "Kamek, c'mon. If you can't talk to me, who can you talk to, huh?" Kamek was still silent. "I've kept all kindsa secrets for you. All those times you came to my castle to test new spells, no one ever heard about how badly you messed up, and how—"

"Naval…," he said.

"I'm just sayin'," she said.

He put a hand on her main bud, gently stroking her. "Look, Naval, please understand. The prince is… well, he's the prince. And I'm…"

"Not this again," Naval groaned.

"I'm about as low-born as a Koopa can get," he said, taking his hand back. "Maybe I got lucky and happened to be brilliant enough to get to where I am now, sure, but I can't…"

"If you're brilliant enough to be Head Magikoopa, you're brilliant enough to raise the prince," Naval said.

"I'm a commoner!" Kamek hissed. "What will people say?"

"They'll say, 'golly, sir Kamek may be a commoner, but he's the best godfather the prince could ever have!'"

Kamek shook his head. "Kammy won't say that."

"Kammy? Pfft."

"She's from the aristocracy," Kamek said.

"She can huff an' puff all she wants," Naval said. "You're amazing at everything you do and everyone knows it. No one'll do a thing against you just 'cause that old bat said so."

Kamek put his head on the desk. "This is… I can't… N-Naval, the king is dead. He's… he's dead, he's dead…"

"Oh, oh, Kamek, baby." She leaned down, placing a leaf on his head. "It'll be okay, you'll see."

"He was almost like a father to me. I mean, he was younger than me but… these last ten years, he's always been there. It was bad enough when his father died, but this…"

Naval put her main bud against his head, rubbing him gently with a leaf, trying her best to be comforting. "It's okay, Kamek, it's okay…"

"And now they want me to take his place? Me? I can't…"

"I know, darlin'," Naval said, "But if not you, then who can do it?"

"But I…"

"The prince needs someone," Naval said, "He's gonna be sad and hurt and he needs someone to help him through it. Who else would you leave that to? Kammy?"

Kamek shook his head.

"You can do it," Naval said. "I know you can."

Kamek lifted his head, adjusting his glasses. "Naval…"

"Go," she said. "He needs you."

Kamek got to his feet, nodding. He smiled at Naval. "How is it you always know exactly what to say?"

"Must be some of your prodigy-ness rubbin' off on me!" she said.

He chuckled and gave her a pat. He then turned and left. He marched down the hall, returning to where the Hammer Bro and Magikoopas were waiting for him.

"Well?" the Hammer Bro asked.

"Let's just call me the prince's advisor," Kamek said. "Or caretaker. Or something. Godfather's a bit much, don't you think?"

The three sighed, relieved. "Of course, sir," a Magikoopa said.

"And the prince?" Kamek asked. "Still sleeping?"

"I think so," the Hammer Bro said.

"He'll wake soon enough," Kamek said, turning away. "I need to be there when he does."

Kamek left down the hall. He heard footsteps behind him—telling from how light and shuffling they were, it was probably the two Magikoopas, minus the Hammer Bro. They made their way down the castle halls in silence before they reached Prince Bowser's chambers: a red double-doors like any other, but with child-drawn signs saying "PRINCE'S ROOM! KEEP OWT!"

Kamek eased the door open a crack and looked in at the little Bowser, lying on his stomach, snoring loudly under his blanket.

"Man, he never sleeps this soundly," Kamek said. "Especially not for his midday nap."

"Maybe part of him knows what he's got to wake up to," one of the Magikoopas said.

"Good luck, sir," the other Magikoopa said.

Nodding, Kamek opened the door and walked in, closing the door behind him. He picked up a small, kid-sized chair as he made his way to the prince's bed and set it down at his side. He sat there for a few moments, listening to the far-away chatter of Koopa Troop members in the halls, trying to think of what he'll say.

It wasn't long before Bowser began to stir, groaning as he sat up. He yawned and looked at Kamek, then curled up under the covers again, covering his face in his blanket.

"I dun' wanna study…"

"Don't worry, there'll be no studying today," Kamek said.

Bowser poked his head out from under his covers. "Weally?"

Kamek nodded, smiling. "In fact, how about we not do any studying all week? How's that sound?"

"Sounds awesome!" Bowser grinned from ear to ear, then paused and frowned. "Waaait. Somethin's up, innit?"

Kamek sighed. Leave it to a child to cut to the heart of the matter.

"Well?" Bowser tugged on Kamek's robes. "Mistuh Kamek, what's goin' on?"

Kamek looked away, thinking, before looking back at his prince and forcing a smile. "Your highness, have I ever told you about the Overthere?"

Bowser shook his head. Kamek started to weave his tale, a story of valiant warriors who all met their ends and were rewarded for their bravery in the puffy, paradisiacal Overthere. Morton, Kamek knew, wasn't the sort that would ever end up in the Overthere. Not in a million years. But Kamek couldn't tell Bowser the truth, that his father was rotting away in the miserable Underwhere. Bowser needed to think that his father was someplace better.

This little fairytale would soften the blow for now. Maybe someday, when he was older and less naïve, Bowser would laugh at or curse him for filling his head with such nonsense. Kamek could deal with that. For now, though, Bowser was a little boy whose father had just died, and he needed every bit of comfort he could get.