*The Hunchback of Notre Dame and all characters from it belong to Victor Hugo

Agonizing Shame.

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There she was before me. I saw her from my room. I watched her dance.

Her hair was long and dark. Her skin was flawless and beautiful.

Her whirling skirt teased me.

I held myself to keep from reaching out toward her. I couldn't let any wandering eyes catch me in one of my pitiful moments of sin; moments that would turn into minutes and minutes that would turn into hours.

I loved her. I wanted her.

I wanted to know what it felt like to have her. I wanted her to be mine.

Trying to hide this longing was only making it stronger.

Why did it have to be this priest?

Why did I have to be the one to fall to my knees the first time my eyes landed upon her?

And she…she who dances at the feet of Notre Dame…she is also to blame.

Was I being punished?

Was this woman a punishment? Or perhaps this is a test.

I turned away from the window and bent over. The shame was unbearable. It was painful.

The devil had been tempting me with heat and passion and I, like a traitor, followed his coaxing hand.

I longed for the forbidden fruit he was offering. This girl, this demon, she was the forbidden fruit I swore I would never touch let alone taste.

Esmeralda…

I said her name aloud. It tasted like a delicious poison. I needed more. I needed her in my arms. Never has such a feeling drugged me as strongly as this one did. I couldn't take it.

I looked back out the window to her dancing form. It was so perfectly shaped, she was perfect.

For a moment I swore that we had locked eyes, but I must've only imagined.

Beauty…

Belle…

Look at me. Take in the presence of a man who longs for yours.

Esmeralda.

I have dreamed of you. We were together in the moonlight. You touched my hand and led me to my own bedroom. I was about to kiss you, but you pulled away and ripped open the curtains. Down below, the people of Paris cried out to me that I was a sinner and a devil. You preceded to break every bit of furnishing I had. You threw the wooden chair into the wall and tore the curtains in half. When I tried to stop you, you pushed me to the floor and smiled innocently.

That smile; so sweet, so innocent. I woke up and all I could think about was your smile.

I looked around to see if the dream was real, but you weren't there and my room was still clean and orderly. My heart sank.

Esmeralda…Belle…Beauty…Devil.

She is Satan. She is my downfall.

Falling…Falling in love…. I love her.

I've sinned… Oh god…lord, help me…