She WHAT?!

By Serena

Summary: There comes a time in every dad's life... and then that dad pulls out the batarang. Or the laser vision. Or the ring of power. Or the arrows. Choices, choices...

A/N: Inspired by the "Batman and Sons" comics on DeviantArt. Love those. Just wish more people would pair Diana with Bruce...

OH, and I'm guessing Diana's age.

Disc: Don't own!!

If someone had told Bruce Wayne that in the next sixteen or so years he'd be married with a bunch of kids, he probably would've done several things: laugh at you. Growl at you. Or just punch you out cold.

Oddly enough, none of those things happened when, one day on the Watchtower, Princess Diana of the Amazons marched up to him, grabbed him, and kissed him right in front of Green Arrow, Superman, and Green Lantern. If he hadn't been in shock (and heaven), he would've been embarrassed.

After a long, long time, Diana pulled away and said: "I love you, and I know you love me. We're getting married." She then proceeded to kiss him again.

Really... what guy could've said no?

Sixteen years later, two more kids later, Bruce Wayne aka Batman aka Scariest Man in the Universe was happy. Well, as happy as the Batman could be. Altogether with five kids, most of them adopted, life got more than a little crazy. There were lovely moments such as: "TIM! PUT THE BABY DOWN!"

Or "DICK, STOP TRYING TO MAKE TERRY DO BACKFLIPS!"

"But he's good at it!"

"HE'S TWO!"

Or "MOMMY! CASSIE WON'T TEACH ME HOW TO KICK BUTT! WHY CAN'T I KICK BUTT LIKE DADDY?"

"Because you're too young, Mellie!"

"NO I'M NAAAWWWT!"

Or "TERRY! STOP JUMPING OFF THE BANISTER! YOU CAN'T FLY!"

"YES, I CAN, DADDY!"

"NO, YOU... Oh. You can. STILL!"

It was a tough job, but he was Batman. He could handle anything. He could handle five kids running around the house screaming "NA NA NA NA BATMAN!" at the top of their lungs. He could handle the twins flying around crashing into the furniture. He could even handle it when the other Justice juniors came over and joined in the madness.

Well, he could handle it most of the time. Some times, he would rather out be fighting the Joker.

But eventually, the craziness dwindled down (sort of) as they all grew up. However, Bruce wasn't prepared to handle his very own worst nightmare when his youngest daughter turned sixteen.

That was when the real trouble started.

Cassie, aka Batgirl, was a grown woman now -- and plus, she'd been trained to fight before she could speak. He hadn't been overly concerned about the male species when it came to her. And, thank goodness, she hadn't been concerned about getting involved with someone until after she'd turned eighteen. Even then, she'd been picky in her choice of men until she finally got in a relationship with a young Green Lantern. Bruce hadn't been overly pleased to his adopted daughter get involved with anyone, but for her sake, he'd put up with it. She didn't really start dating until after she was twenty, something he was perfectly fine with.

But as to his younger daughter...

He knew something was up when Mel cornered him in the Batcave with an overly sweet smile on her face. Unfortunately, she looked so much like Diana, it was hard to refuse her anything. Mel beamed up at him.

"Hi, Daddy!" she said brightly. "What're you doing?"

"Work." His tone was short, and her face fell. His voice and face softened. "What is it?"

She brightened again. "I just wanted to see what you were doing!"

"Following up a lead."

"Can I help?"

"Not this time," he said. "But soon."

"OK." Without warning, she lunged forward and hugged him tightly. He sucked in a breath - she was getting to be almost as strong as her mother. "I love you, Daddy!" she said.

Something was off. She wanted something, he could tell.

"Love you, too, baby. But Mellie... what do you want?"

"What do you mean, Daddy?" She pulled back with a hurt expression on her face.

"You didn't come down here just to tell me that. Not that I don't appreciate it," he added hastily.

She smiled sheepishly. "Um, well... I was wondering something." She glanced down at her feet. "Um, can I... can I go out Friday night?"

Instantly he was suspicious. "Go out? Where?"

"To the movies."

"With whom?"

"Um... Chris."

"Chris Kent?"

"Yeah."

"Just you and Chris Kent?" The hair on Bruce's neck stood on end, and he straightened sharply.

"Um... yes?"

"No," he said flatly.

"But Daddd-eeee!"

"No."

"Pleeeaaassseeee! I like him!"

"I don't care. You're not dating anyone until you're twenty-five."

"What?! But Cassie's dating, and she's twenty-three!"

"She... that's different."

"No, it's not!! Please, Daddy!"

"If your brother goes with you, then fine," he said, trying to calm himself down. Breathe, Bruce. Breathe. You're the darned Batman. You can handle this. You can handle your daughter wanting to go out with Boyscout's kid. Admittedly, Chris was a good kid (despite the fact that his real dad was General Zod, but that was beside the point), and Clark had raised him well. But still... that didn't change the fact that Mellie was still HIS daughter. HIS baby girl. Nope. Not at all.

"Daddeee! I don't want Terry to come! He and Chris will just talk the entire time about guy stuff!"

"Too bad."

Mellie's lip trembled. Bruce had to look away. He couldn't say no when she did that.

"Dadeee.... pleeeease?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeaaaseee?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaassse?"

"No, and that's final."

Mellie scowled. "Fine, I'm asking Mom."

"She'll say no."

Ten Minutes Later

"She said yes, Dad!"

Bruce stiffened. Blinked twice. Then: "She what?!" He bolted out of his chair and strode up out of the cave, his daughter skipping behind him. "Diana? Diana!" he called.

He found her with Terry and Cassie, making dinner in the kitchen. The sight of his youngest son cooking startled him somewhat, setting him off-track. "You're cooking?"

Sixteen-year-old Terry looked up and shrugged. "Yep. It's kinda fun."

"All girls love a guy who can cook," Cassie added shrewdly. Terry reddened and looked away.

"I just like it, okay?"

Bruce shook his head. Focus, Bruce. "Diana," he asked his stunningly gorgeous wife, "why did you tell Mellie she could go on a date with Christopher Kent?"

Diana didn't look up from her mixing and replied calmly: "Because she's sixteen."

"So?"

"She's old enough to have a boyfriend."

"No, she's not. She can't date until she's twenty-five."

Cassie and Diana shot him a look.

"Honey," Diana said, using the voice she used to get him to calm down and/or agree with whatever she said: "Mellie is a perfectly capable of taking care of herself. Firstly, she's been trained by you, me, and the rest of the Batclan. You and me alone means she'll be able to handle anything. Also, he'll be seventeen soon. I think she can go out on at least one date."

"You didn't date when you were sixteen," Bruce argued.

"No," Diana agreed without blinking. "I didn't date until I was over a thousand. Which was you. But that didn't count because I was immortal."

"Still... she's too young."

"Her best friends are going out," Diana said. "I think it's fine. Christopher Kent is one of her closest friends, and he's Clark's son, so you know he's a good boy. You yourself have always complimented Clark on how he's turned out as a fine young man."

"Not in those words," Bruce argued. "He's all right... or he was. Until he wanted to date my daughter." His eyes darkened.

Diana raised an eyebrow. "She can't be a nun, Bruce. You can't lock her up."

"Watch me."

Diana sighed. "Bruce..."

As if on cue, Mellie came into the kitchen. "But Daddy, I'll NEVER get a boyfriend!" she complained, folding her arms over her chest.

No. This was just too much. Bruce paled and began shaking. The kitchen's inhabitants watched in concern as, looking in a daze, he stumbled over to the closet. Both were shocked when he pulled out a hi-tech, heat-guided batarang. It would inflict serious damage on a person.

"Bruce!" Diana exclaimed.

"Daaa-dee!"

Bruce blinked and stared down at the batarang in his hands. Then, he looked up at his girls. "What?"

They just stared at him in shock.

"Right," said Bruce. "Needs kryptonite."

"Bruce!"

"Dad!"

Bruce sighed heavily and looked at his daughter. "It'll just be you and Kent?"

Mellie nodded. "We're gonna go see a movie then to go Barnes and Noble and read and talk about books."

Bruce snorted and shook his head. "Wimp."

"What's wrong with reading?" Terry demanded, looking insulted. "I like books."

"Nothing," Bruce grumbled.

"Bruce, you're being irrational," Diana chided, growing tired of her husband's behavior.

"No, I'm being protective."

"It's just Chris!" Mellie protested. "He always comes over here!"

"Yes, but I'm here," Bruce argued.

Mellie's face crumpled, and she looked down. "It wasn't even a date," she muttered. "I just really like Chris. He's always nice to me."

Bruce stared at her, torn. He didn't want her to be unhappy... but then again, he didn't want her making a mistake. "You can go if Cassie goes."

"But..." Mellie sighed.

"It'll be fun," Cassie put in. "I'll bring Ryan. He's not from earth, so I think he'll enjoy going out."

Bruce nodded, satisfied. "That's my final offer, Mellie. Take it or don't."

Mellie sighed and nodded glumly. "All right."

Cassie smiled and her and said, "C'mon. Let's find you something to wear." She and the younger girl walked out of the room, leaving Bruce a little more relieved. Still.

"Happy now, Bruce?" Diana said with a small smile.

"Maybe," he admitted grudgingly. Well, almost happy. Not quite. There was something still missing about the whole picture...

He glanced at Terry. "I'm switching up your patrol tonight."

Terry looked at him. "You want me to watch her, don't you?" He didn't sound surprised in the least.

Bruce nodded and walked away. He could monitor everything from the Batcave.

Diana, however, looked positively enraged. "Bruce Wayne!"

Yep... poor Mellie. Can you imagine having Batman as a dad? Oy.

Comments are appreciated. :)

- Serena