A/N: Just a silly little story that I found in my archives waiting to be loved…by you.

No Good Deed

Chapter One: Please?

Most horror stories include a mysterious phone call. This was no exception.

Actually, it was only mysterious because it happened at about five in the morning- an hour that could be considered unreasonable, especially since it was the weekend. And if it was unreasonable, it was probably Koenma. Besides, none of Botan's friends owned a cell with a network large enough to reach the afterlife and now that she thought about it, paying the monthly phone bill had become as much of a royal pain as her boss could be. Making a mental note to switch to something more earthbound, like T-Mobile, Botan tapped her bedside table in search of the offending ring.

"Is it another apocalypse?" she mumbled into the receiver.

"Hello, Botan? I'm sorry for calling so late."

Wait a minute. Koenma never apologizes.

"Yukina?"

"Yes, it's me." Botan heard her swallow nervously. "I'm…I'm very sorry for troubling you. I just wasn't sure…"

"No, it's ok," said Botan, stifling a yawn. "What's up? Is everything alright?" She tensed fearfully. "It's really not another apocalypse is it?"

"Oh no, of course not." she assured.

Whew. Now that that was out of the way...

"I think it's much worse."

Briefly, Botan wondered if she was joking- but this was Yukina. The docile little ice maiden whose gentle genes nullified any natural impulses to cruelty. Imagining her pulling a prank on some unsuspecting innocent was like imagining a bunny with a semi-automatic. Pushing aside the heinous visual of Yukina as Rambo Rabbit, Botan slipped into dependable-friend mode.

"Whatever it is, Yukina, I promise I'll do whatever I can to help."

"Oh good," said Yukina, sounding relieved. "Um…I…"

An awkward beat.

"I think Hiei might be in love with me."

Now, Botan was a practical girl who went about her life abiding by the rules.

It just so happened that one of them was a "stay as far away from Hiei as you possibly can" rule. It was a rule that was imperative to her every existence, and one that hadn't failed her so far. Leave it to the fate to find a loophole. She should have known it was going to be trouble the moment Yukina mentioned her evil twin.

They were sitting in a tearoom that had been sectioned off from the main compound of Genkai's dojo. It would give them more privacy, said the aging- but by all means still kick-ass- martial arts master. Botan didn't think it really mattered either way, since it was late in the year and there were no students around to interrupt.

"I've been seeing him a lot lately," she explained.

Not unaware of Hiei's somewhat creepy inclinations to spy, Botan wasn't all that surprised. But for Yukina's sake, she sure tried to act that way.

"How odd."

Yukina poured some more tea. "Honestly, it took me a while to start picking up on it. But one day, I noticed an odd shadow in the trees. I knew it was him and that he'd been following me. A lot. Even in Demon World, that's not considered very, um, polite." She paused to take a tentative sip. "Growing up, I've always felt that someone was watching over me."

An audible gulp from Botan that had nothing to do with tea.

Easy now, she told herself. Don't spill the beans.

A chilling vision of Hiei surfaced before her eyes.

Keep your mouth shut if you value your life…

Botan gave another audible gulp.

"It was nice," Yukina continued, "It was like whoever was watching was protecting me. It's a very uncertain world out there, especially for a demon…so I appreciated this."

Botan's tightened expression eased into sympathy. "Yukina…"

The ice maiden returned her gesture warmly. "Yes…but this…this feels different. It feels…I don't know: wrong. Hiei saved my life, so I feel a lot of gratitude towards him. But gratitude is all I feel and I'm worried that I might have led him on somehow."

Botan could just imagine how smoothly that conversation would go:

Hiei: I came to say that I don't love you in the way you love me!

Then Hiei would face-fall, or attempt the manly demon equivalent thereof and start asking questions. Then true to his nature, he would go on a rampage and look for someone to blame.

Which could very well be me, if I don't steer this conversation back into the right direction, she thought hastily.

"Well…Yukina," she tucked back a piece of her hair, trying to assemble her words in a way that wouldn't accidentally let on that Hiei was the long-lost brother that Yukina was searching for, "I think…that…well, Hiei can be a really scary person."

Yukina raised her eyebrows.

"But underneath that vicious exterior is someone who's really sensitive."

Which she believed was at least half true. He may not be sweater vest wearing, tea-cozy, hey let's watch The English Patient kind of sensitive, but she supposed he was sensitive in the way guard dog was when it mauled an intruder for the safety of its owner. That counted for something right?

"What I mean is," the ferry girl continued, "Even if Hiei doesn't show it, he's really very capable of caring deeply about someone else- and I think he feels that way towards anyone he thinks of as a friend. Look at Kurama and Yusuke. Even though he treats both in his trademark I'm-so-cool-and-standoffish way, there's still a level of respect that I think is really sincere. Anyway, I don't think what he feels for you is romantic in any way shape or form. If anything, I think he thinks of you like a little sister. Er, so to speak."

Yukina took a nail biting moment to consider this.

"That makes sense…I mean, from what I've heard he had a very difficult upbringing, so I suppose he would have trouble understanding how people are supposed to care of each other." Botan crossed her fingers as Yukina lapsed into another thoughtful silence. "I guess you're right."

Botan felt herself inwardly deflate with relief. If there was any justice in the world, she should at least win an Emmy for that. "Good, I'm glad you think so."

Yukina gave a coy smile. "You like him a lot don't you?"

She choked on her tea.

"Ehhhh?" she sputtered.

Yukina laughed, "I'm sorry. It's just the way you spoke of him so highly. You must really admire him."

Admire him? Fear him's more like it.

"Oh no, I don't like him at all. I mean, uh, not in the way…jeez, did I really…?"

Yukina adopted a worried frown. "Have I embarrassed you?"

Not really. Now, mortified on the other hand…

"Sorry," said Botan, waving a hand behind her head, "it's just that Hiei's a very…"

Hmm. How to put this delicately?

"…he's a very touchy subject for me."

"Hmm."

Not knowing what else to do, Botan poured herself some more tea. The conversation was growing weirder by the minute, and she didn't know what else to expect. Who knew that Yukina could be as unpredictable as her brother was? But then again, she was his sibling after all. Cut from the same demonic mold and all that. She sighed heavily.

"Kazuma is taking me to the school festival this weekend," Yukina announced cheerfully.

Botan had to think before processing his name.

"Oh, Kuwabara-kun. Yes. I'm glad the two of you are doing so well." She was being truthful this time. They might have looked odd together, but then she'd seen stranger things happen. Keiko and Yusuke, for example.

"Oh yes," an enthusiastic nod, "Kazuma's a very good person," Yukina agreed. Then, lowering her doey voice another decibel, "To tell you the truth, I was sort of planning on not going since I was afraid of what Hiei might think. He and Kazuma don't seem to get along as well as everyone else does. But now that I've spoken to you, I feel like I can go without having to worry about him."

"Glad I could help."

Another beat. This time, however, Botan noticed the contemplative expression in Yukina's eyes. As though she were trying to piece together a plan. Then again, it could have just been her imagination running wild. She hoped.

"I think that you should ask Hiei to go with you."

This time she didn't so much as choke on her tea as she did go into cardiac arrest. Hiei was not, if anything, a date person. She was not, if anything, a date person. Their dreadful union could very well be a match made in Demon World.

Why oh why couldn't it just have been my imagination running wild again? She mourned balefully.

"I really don't think that would be a very good idea."

"Why not?"

"Well, because he isn't…." My type. My species, maybe?!

"I think it would be good for the both of you," Yukina insisted. "I mean, you said all those nice things about him."

Yea for your benefit. Botan wanted to cry.

"What I'm trying to say is," Yukina began again, more tactfully this time, "It's okay if you don't think of Hiei like…like a mate." Botan blushed. "But at the very least, you think of him as a friend and I think what Hiei needs is a friend who could teach him how to care about others in the way that you do."

"But Yukina! Hiei's not some little puppy that I can train to play nice others," Botan cut in hurriedly, before the she could persuade her with something else that sounded surprisingly logical. "He's a grown man-demon who couldn't really care less about what I have to say, much less-"

Then Yukina did the unthinkable: she pouted.

"Please? For me?"

It was one of the most highly improbable scenarios in the universe. And it happened.

"She didn't," breathed Keiko.

"She did, " said Kuwabara.

"I still don't believe you," said Yusuke.

"Hiei told me himself," said Kurama.

"Um. What are we talking about again?" said Shizuru.

The five friends chose to congregate in the back kitchen of Keiko's bakery as soon as the news of Botan's total lapse in judgment began to circulate via Genkai's text message.

"We're talking about what drugs Botan must be taking in order to ask Hiei out on a date to the school festival this weekend," said Yusuke.

"Personally, I don't think this is that big of a deal," said Keiko as she set down some leftover bread rolls on the table. "He's one of the us now right? I mean, out of concern for Botan, I don't think Hiei would be my first choice. On the other hand, who are we to judge her feelings?"

"Easy for you to say," said Kuwabara. "Just look at who you're dating. Hey!"

He doubled over as Yusuke elbowed him in the gut.

"I think you're forgetting just how unstable he is," said Kurama. "And I'm saying this as his friend. Personally, I don't think they make a very good match."

"Why?" said Shizuru. "Gotta crush on her? On him maybe?"

"Why does everyone assume that?" Kurama shook his head tiredly. "For the record, they're friends. I would never feel that way towards a friend."

"So how'd it happen?" said Yusuke through a mouthful of bread roll. "Kurama, you said Hiei came to you on his own. So spill."

"Well…"

"I'm sorry. She asked you to do what?" Kurama nearly dropped his teacup.

Hiei told him.

"Wha…how…you said no right?"

"That was my first instinct," said Hiei, as he leaned against the post in Kurama's back porch. "At first, I wondered if she had some kind of death wish. Then I wondered if she was mentally challenged."

"Why is it that whenever you come across a genuinely good person, you assume that they must have brain damage? She was probably just trying to be nice to you." He drained his tea. "I think."

"Well, whatever her reasons may be…I've decided to go."

Kurama tried to level his expression into something that didn't look like open-mouthed shock.

"Wha…how…why?"

Hiei shrugged. "Trust me, I'm not a fan of her company. But from what she told me, Yukina would be there. Along with the buffoon. It would be wrong of me not to take advantage of this, if only for Yukina's sake."

Kurama's frown deepened.

"What about Botan?"

"What about her?"

"As strange as the situation may be, I have no doubt that she asked you out of nothing but kindness. If you're only going for the sake of pushing Kuwabara away from your sister, then you might as well tell her no. It's neither honest or fair."

Hiei gave him a long measuring look.

"Why is this bothering you? It's not as though you spent any more time with her than I have, and it's not like you're actually interested in her anymore than I am. She's practically a stranger to us."

"Be that as it may," said Kurama. "I still have the decency to call her a friend. God knows you need more of those. And for your information, this is not bothering me. I'm merely," he searched for the right word, "concerned."

Oddly enough, Hiei didn't look like he believed him. Just what exactly was he insinuating?

"I'm headed off, " said Hiei. "Just so you know, this conversation doesn't change anything. But if you're talking about honesty, the least you could do is be honest with yourself."

"I don't know what you're talking about." It was true, Kurama didn't.

"Che," said Hiei, "Then maybe you aren't not as smart as I thought you were."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Seriously, what on earth was Hiei talking about? Was he trying to say something about him and Botan?

But the fire demon disappeared without answering.

"That was pretty much the gist of it," said Kurama after he gave them a slightly edited version of what transpired. It was all very confusing business that left the former fox bandit wondering if he had somehow missed something. He just hoped that whatever it was wasn't going to come back and make him pay for it.

"So he's only going because of Yukina? That's pretty low," said Kuwabara. "I hope he doesn't have the hots for her or anything."

"Yea, that'd be pretty awkward," said Yusuke, as everyone drilled pointed looks in his direction.

"Especially since Botan was the one who invited him," said Kuwabara. "If he's only going to get at another man's girl then he's got another thing coming." He slammed his fist into his palm.

"Now wait a minute," said Keiko, "We don't actually know why Botan asked Hiei to the festival. For all we know, she could just be asking him as a friend."

"Oh right, because as we all know Botan and Hiei are like total BFFs," said Yusuke.

"I don't know," added Keiko. "I still think we're making a fuss over nothing and that we should just leave everyone be."

"Or," said Shizuru, "we can take the more scenic route."

Yusuke leaned in. "What are you getting at?"

"She wants us to go spy on them," said Kurama, "Which, I'm sorry to say, is not only foolish and irresponsible but completely immature."

"I'm in," said Kuwabara.

"Me too," chimed Yusuke and Keiko.

Kurama groaned. "Why can't we do any normal things together anymore?"

"Botan. Over the years, out of all my dimwitted employees, you are among the few and proud who have somehow managed to aggravate me the least…"

"Gee, thanks," said Botan as she stood warily on the opposite side of Koenma's desk.

He had called her in during the middle of the day, which usually meant that there was another world-ending crisis at hand. She started to get worried, though, when he didn't immediately start spitting details at her.

"…however, I cannot ignore your behavior in light of recent developments."

"Recent developments? Wait, is this about the photo that I showed to Ayame? I told you, she thought that your thumb-sucking was cute!"

"I'm not talking about that," he snarled, "Wait, she did? Anyway, no- what I was referring to was your date this weekend."

"My date?"

"Don't play coy," said Koenma, "I saved the text message Genkai sent." He held up his cell phone as proof.

Darn it! thought Botan. I should have never gotten her that for Christmas!

"All I want to know is this," he sucked a chestful of air, "Have you completely lost your mind?! Are you not aware that you are violating the social interaction restrictions I placed on that heinous criminal? Otherwise known as the 'stay as far away from Hiei as you possibly can' rule?"

Botan cowered, "I wasn't aware that that was an actual rule!"

"Well it is! I placed it in the books for a reason. Botan, are you not aware of just how dangerous he is?"

She gulped. "Yes."

"Yet you're still willing to accompany him on this ridiculous excursion which may very well end with you in a body bag?"

"Now wait just a minute, Koenma-sama," said Botan, her back straightening, "Yes, I understand that Hiei is a four-foot nothing killing machine who, ninety-nine percent of the time, hasn't had a shred of remorse for his victims, but I'm surprised that you need to be reminded of why he was put on the team in the first place."

"Yes, because of his relationship with Yukina."

"No, because he shows that he can care through Yukina," corrected Botan, "With all due respect, I think that you might be overreacting. "

Might be and think so being the key operative words here, she thought.

"Do you, now?"

"I think he's more kind-hearted than he actually lets on."

Okay, one little white lie couldn't hurt, right?

Koenma took in a deep breath as he rearranged some papers on his desk with more care than necessary.

"If that's how you feel, then why don't you go tell him yourself?"

"Fine!"

She did a double-take.

"Eh? What?"

"He's waiting outside my office, though I wouldn't be surprised if he overheard our conversation," Koenma eyed her smugly, "Now, shoo. I'm sure you love birds have lots to talk to about."

For once in her life, Botan wished she had just kept her mouth shut.

True enough, Hiei Jaganshi was waiting outside Koenma's office, his constant black expression looking more murderous than usual.

Great, what was she supposed to do now?

"Hi," she waved.

He didn't return her greeting, only proceeded to stare at her in a way that made her want to jump out of her skin. She pinched her earlobe in an attempt to fidget with something.

This is for Yukina. This is for Yukina. This is for Yukina.

"Uh, I'm sorry about that whole…thing in there with Koenma. You probably think I'm an idiot."

Hiei shrugged, "I do, but that has nothing to do with your conversation with that cretin boss of yours."

"Oh…"

He took a step towards her.

"Is there really a rule against standing this close to me?"

She was really proud of the way she ignored her screaming instinct to step back and dash away. Really proud. "Oh that was just Koenma being…insane. Um, is there something that you needed?"

"Yes, actually." Another step towards her. "I came here to tell you that I've thought about your offer to go to that fool outing this weekend. As exciting as that sounds," he deadpanned, "I'll have to pass."

Botan's eyes widened. "Oh. That's…great. I mean…"

This was great…wasn't it? Now, she had an excuse not to go to the festival and she wouldn't have to hurt anyone's feelings.

But then….why….

"Just out of curiosity," she began quietly, "Why made you change your mind?"

He turned his back to her, fisting his hands into his coat pockets.

"Because…I think Kurama's in love with you."

She blanched.

What?!

Ah, misinterpretations abound!

So, to cap it all off, Yukina thinks Botan might like Hiei and Hiei thinks Kurama might like Botan (which is totally not confusing at all). On top of that, is the big double-date still on for the weekend? For the sake of sadism, I sure hope so.

Feed the sadism with reviews. Delicious reviews.