Disclaimer: I don't own anything ! S/M is responsible for the name Renesmee I don't want to be.

Chapter 1 Blank Pages

Leah's Pov

I could not help the thoughts that flew through my mind once I realized that I had reached the point of no return. Once I made a run for it I knew it would be a while before I returned back to my home. La push was the place I was raised. I had my first kiss, my first love, and my first heart break that ruined me. I had nothing else. I had horrible memories and experiences so I left.

I had some money saved up and I did graduate from high school so I am here. I am sitting in the parking lot my job on my lunch break trying to calm down because my boss is an ass. My eyes are closed I am leaning back in to my seat pretending to be on First Beach on a cool day and the water is hitting my feet after an intense run through the woods, and what do I hear, I hear that bitch knocking on my widow.

"Leah, you are five minutes late I need you to clock back in." She said staring at me. I said nothing opening the car door and slamming it as followed her back in to hell. Her name is Monica but I ordained her as bitch or ass about two months ago. I do not understand why she believes that this piece of shit job is cream of the crop. The phone begins to ring I am wondering if I ignore it will it go away?

"Leah I know you hear the phone ringing." Bitch is glaring at me with her hand on her hips.

I answer, "Thank you for calling Shop-n-Save this is Leah. No this is shop-n-save not Home Depot. You're welcome." I said while slamming the phone down.

"You could be a lot nicer on the phone." Bitch was talking but I am not listening.

"I'm sorry what did you say," smiling widely at her.

"Nothing, you should take off. I will get Kyla to close."

I should have thanked her but I didn't. I just turned around and bolted out the door. When I got home I checked my voice mail messages and I had four. My guess was mom, Seth, mom and Seth. "Hey Lee it's me Seth, well I guess you realized that ...umm call me back. Love you." I had a less enthused facial expression.

"Leah it's your mother, you know the one who raised you. Yeah are you remembering can you give me a call back?" I rolled my eyes and waited on the next message.

"Hey Lee, its Jake, your mom gave me your number I just…" before he could finish I skipped the next message.

"Hey. It's me ..." A month ago I sent Seth a letter giving him my cell phone number. I never answer when they call and I thought it was nice if they at least have my number. It made sense when I did it but when I check my messages it doesn't make sense anymore. The truth is I was ready to go home - I've been ready to leave. Working at the Shop-n-Save was a bottomless pit of hell. The only good thing about it was that Kyla worked there and she was really cool. She never asked me why I was so tall or why I was bitchy. She just understood me without me telling her much. She is like me running from something. She moved here last month she said she had too many siblings so she left. I told her I got really pissed off one day and never turned around; which was true. A year ago Jake and I had a nasty argument where I said things I meant and he said things he meant while Nessie was being Nessie?

It started during a horrible thunder storm that the little fairy predicted. We were in her parent's cottage.

~Flashback~

"Leah?" I was in daze when she called my name.

"Yes, Nessie" I was wonder what the hell she wanted.

"Are you in love with Jacob?" She asks while stroking her hair.

"I-I …what?" I was in shock wondering where the hell that came from.

"I see the way you look at him, are you in love with him?" Yes, I was in shock.

"You did not have to repeat yourself. I heard you the first time and do you hear what you're asking me? How I can be in love with your Jacob?"

"Leah it is quite possible to be in love with my Jacob so stop avoiding my question."

"I'm not avoiding! I just think that your question is ridiculous and don't know where it came from." I was yelling at her not on purpose but I couldn't help it.

"Would you like to see some evidence?" She asked me holding her hand out.

"Why are you yelling I can hear you outside?" Jake came in ringing his hair out which was wet from the storm.

"Nessie believes I'm in love with you." I was standing up with my hands on my hips.

"Well, are you?" Jake asked me smiling.

"I am out of here!" I was yelling at the top of my lungs so I bolted out the door and Jake came running after me. Iit started raining even harder as I told myself not to phase. Jake caught me in the front yard.

"Lee, what's wrong?" He grabbed my arm.

"Let go of me. I can't do this anymore." I jerked and he stiffened.

"What's wrong with you? She was just asking a question." He let me go.

"Jake, it's not that she asked me it's that you always take her side." He looked down his eyes not meeting mine.

"Lee I'm sorry." He grabbed my hand.

"Jake, you should be. What she is four? I have a four-year old asking me if I'm in love with you. Before you speak I know she's 'advanced' but damn can't she just be simple?" He looked confused.

"I am not simple; I am very complex and I am twelve." She was standing in the door way of the front porch. "And I feel sorry for you." I just stared at her.

"Leah, I'm sorry that she ask you things that make you uncomfortable but she is my imprint and I can't help but side with her. I will ask her not to make you feel uncomfortable." He turned to Nessie and asked her, "Nessie, please, don't ask Leah questions that make her feel uncomfortable." Then he looked back to me.

"Jacob she is in love with you!" she stomped her feet and I phased.

"Nessie get in the house and lock the door I will be right back." Jacob phased.

Jacob phased and went after me but I was fast and the fact that it was raining did not slow me down.

'Leah, calm down what is this really about?'

'I truly and utterly do not like nor care for your IMPRINT!!!!'

'Leah, be fair.'

'Be fair? I have been nothing but fair Jacob Black.'

'I have been fair to you as well.'

'Bull shit, Black. You let me join your pack, thank you, but the extra shit I do is over. I am worried about me from now own!'

'What extra shit have you done for me Leah? Besides be a class A bitch to everyone including me your Alpha.'

'Oh my apologies oh Mighty Alpha. I shouldn't treat you like everyone because you're so fucking above us. I should have never tried to befriend you!'

'Fuck you Leah.'

'I wish you would!'

'What?'

'Nothing! FUCK YOU!'

I couldn't lie to myself any more. well I could but I couldn't lie to him because the images in my head betrayed me.

'Leah did I just see that?' He stopped dead in his tracks.

I stopped and phased back. We were in the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere, and the rain still hadn't slacked up I just stood there and then he phased.

"I'm sorry." That was all I could say.

"Leah, how long have you felt this way?" He was looking directly at me.

"I- it's not I feel it's… I." I started to stutter.

"The truth would be nice Leah" He looked at me his face was so solemn.

"When, we were in the forest of about four years ago." He gasped. "When Bella was still human?" he rolled his eyes at me. "Yes, we were talking about me being genetically dead and I thought maybe after you got over her I –I just." He smiled at me.

"You hoped we would have a chance, a chance at normal." He didn't understand me.

"Not normal but I would have someone besides Seth and my mom." I grabbed his hand, "You didn't want to imprint and I was pretty sure I wouldn't. I thought maybe you could control it if it happen because you didn't want it." He rubbed my knuckles.

"Leah I –I." Then he kissed me. Jacob and I had a kiss in the rain butt ass naked. The kiss was soft but rough.

"Jacob do you love Leah?" We both turned quickly.

"Nessie? I told you to wait at the house." She looked at Jacob as if he broke her heart.

"Answer my question?" He looked at her puzzled.

"Nessie I need to get you out of the rain."

"Jacob you can't love her. She isn't right for you otherwise you would have imprinted on her and not me." I was hurt again. "She is right, do not follow me." I phased and ran.

I haven't looked back. All I kept thinking was that the spawn was right. Then I thought I how hurt I was by him and her. I didn't like to be around her but I was for him. I hated the Cullens but I liked them because Jake and Seth did. I sacrificed a life, outside of our supernatural world for the pack.