Pranksterz

By: Pretty Nacho

AN:/ Hello. LOOK IT'S AN UPDATE. I AM NOT DEAD- POW I've been shot…help. Can barely type.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter nor Naruto.

The three boys turned off the T.V. and spun around to face Naruto sheepishly. The tears seemed to have disappeared leaving worried, puffy eyes.

"Hello Naruto!" Harry chuckled.

Naruto shook her head and said three words that made them tremble, "I'm. Telling. Ron." With that she made a break for the stairs leading up to the girl's dorms while the three stumbled after her.

"Ron! Ron!" She cried, waking everyone up, "Ron, guess what?" Naruto burst into the dorms where Ron was sleepily rubbing his eyes. "Ron, I caught Lucy, Priscilla, and Harry watching the movies! After they made fun of you for it, too!"

The three boys (who had clattered in shortly after Naruto) tried to make an escape but were stopped. The girls circled around them, all of them grinning evilly. Harry bowed his head and made the sign of the cross.

"So, Ron cries like a wimp, right?"

"What did you guys do after watching those movies?"

Fred stuttered, "W-well we didn't do anything, because we're men!" The girls turned to Naruto for confirmation; she shook her head, still grinning.

"Nope, they were sobbing! There's a pile of tissues downstairs to prove it!"

The girls closed in before Hermione stepped in, "Guys, stop."

"Thank you Hermione!" Harry shouted, falling to her feet.

"You can taunt them later," Hermione shook Harry off of her leg, "But we all need to get ready or we're going to be late for classes!"

Each of the girls took a glance at the clock before mumbling and going about her business, Ron left to take a shower in the boy's dorm and Naruto escorted the twins and Harry out of the room.

George straightened his robes before glaring at Naruto, "Not cool."

Naruto grinned and patted his cheek before saying meaningfully, "I'm mean to you guys because I love you." She then went back into the girl's dorms to get ready.

Fred and George stood there staring at each other, obviously having a telepathic conversation. Harry waved his hand in front of their faces a few times before shrugging and turning around to leave.

"Mate-"
"Do you think?"
"Nah…"

The classes went by rather slowly, nothing that Naruto hadn't gotten used to over the past few months. It wasn't until Care of Magical Creatures the shock came.

"They're gone!" Hagrid sobbed, "The both o' them! Gone!" The tears ran down his beard while all the Gryffindors crowded around him

"Who's gone Hagrid?" Hermione asked, patting him on the back.

"The Zetdaras, they, they, they exploded!"

"When?"

"Just yesterday! There was an explosion by my hut and I dashed out to find them both gone! I'm a horrible grounds keeper and teacher!"

Naruto paled, oh shit, they were out, oh shit oh shit oh shit, she was totally fucked, unless of course they were forced into some binding pinky-promise contract to a loser and couldn't harm her without his permission, but even then, she might need help, other than Lee, to take them down.

She knew what she must do.

"Priscilla, Lucy." Naruto called as she backed them into a corner, "I have a proposition for you." She cracked her knuckles as Lee popped up from behind her.

The twins looked at the both of them in suspicion, as Lee normally went along with whatever devious, twisted plan Naruto had come up with.

"Yes-"

"Naruto, what-"

"do you want?" They asked, narrowing their eyes to look intimidating.

"Guys, me and Lee, we're going to train and teach you along with Harry, Ron, and Hermione…well we haven't told them yet but, yay for you!"

"HA-"

"YOUR PLAN FAILED-"

"WE'RE BOOBY-TRAPPED!" With that the twins flung both of their robes open to show an array of brightly colored and magically lit fireworks strapped to their regular pants and shirts.

"Wait, what was that again?" Fred asked double-taking as the fireworks exploded brightly.

A few seconds later, a singed Naruto was glaring at them, totally ready to go Tsunade-Death-Punch on them, but she refrained, that's when she noticed that the Twins and Lee were naked.

"Wait, how did Lee's clothes disappear and not mine?" Naruto said aloud glancing down at herself, "Not that I don't enjoy the view!" Naruto cackled insanely, leering over the twins who were covering themselves modestly.

Lee, however, embraced his new state and flung his arms open, running around, "YOOOOOUTH!" He then dashed away, dying to show his new youthful state.

"Jesus!" Naruto said, covering her eyes, "I could've gone my whole life without witnessing that."

"Does anyone else see a bright, white light?" George, who hadn't covered his eyes in time, whimpered, "I see a bright white light!"

"I- I just, ugh," Naruto said, hands still over her eyes, "I'll talk to you guys later about this, I'm, I'm sorry, I think I'm going to be sick."

Needless to say, only Luna really enjoyed the show that Lee offered.

A few hours later, Naruto was tapped on the shoulder by Ron.

"Hagrid needs to see you tonight," he said in a serious tone, "It has to do about the Tri-Wizard Tournament."

Naruto blinked, honestly she had forgotten all about the Tournament, it was obviously shadowed by all of the awesome pranking she had to pull. Oh, and the fact that there might be two Kage level ninja out for her blood at any moment, but it was mainly the pranks.

"Oh, okay, thanks for telling me."

"No problem."

That night Naruto trudged down to Hagrid's hut, stealthily of course, it was after curfew. Hagrid seemed to actually be dressed up for the occasion.

"Oh Hagrid, are you all dressed up for little old me?" Naruto fluttered her eyelashes ridiculously as Hagrid blushed, "Your hair is even combed!"

"Now then, you're gon' haffa lay low fer a while." Hagrid straightened, "There's someone else comin' wit' us."

It was then Naruto saw the towering woman lumbering towards them. She nudged Hagrid in this side and winked.

"You looking to get a somethin' somethin'?" She giggled but nonetheless climbed up into a tree to conceal herself.

The woman stopped by Hagrid and linked her arm with his.

"Hello, Madame Maxine."

"Hagrid."

Naruto sighed and mouthed "giant love" before jumping to the next tree to follow them.

A couple of minutes later and Naruto heard shouting and saw a large stretch of fire scorch a few trees.

"Oh… magnificent!" Madame Maxine exclaimed staring at whatever it was.

Naruto hopped to another tree and nearly peed herself at the sight of four caged dragons. She put it all together and cursed, dragons were the first task. God damn it, it was times like these she really wished she had invested more time into learning water techniques.

"Can we get closer?" The large headmistress asked her eyes getting wider and wider. Naruto snorted; did she not hear the cries of the workers handling the large reptiles?

"Crap, put out that fire!"

"Watch out for that Horntail, she's a nasty one!"

"I need some water!"

"Hey, what do you think would happen if I farted right now, do you think- do you think it would explode?"

Naruto swiveled around on her place on the branch as she heard a gasping noise The Bulgarian Headmaster dude was looking upon the dragons in terror. She rolled her eyes, so now, every champion would know about the dragons. Well, except for Cedric.

Ah fuck.

"I'm going to have to do the right thing here, aren't I?" Naruto thought.

"You don't have to if you join the Dark Side."

"Shut up."

Naruto stalked down the halls looking for the Diggory boy when her path was blocked by a few Hufflepuffs. They grinned as they bumped into her rudely and pointed to their robes. Pinned on their robes was a bright and rather large badge that read:

"Support Cedric Diggory, the true Hogwarts Champion!"

They then tapped the badge and Naruto watched as it morphed into a picture of her face being melted with bright green words that said, "Naruto Stinks."

"Aw, how cute," she cooed before kneeing all of the Hufflepuffs right in the groin, "and if you ever stop me just to show me those badges again I swear I will tear your precious male bits off with my bare hands."

Finally she found Cedric talking with a few of his friends and laughing.

"I need to speak with you." Naruto said curtly, tugging him away by his robes.

"Excuse me," Cedric said as Naruto pulled him into a secluded space, "So, you're finally giving into your desire for me?"

"Dragons." She blurted out.

"What?"

"Dragons are the first task, big scaly things that fly and breathe fire, the others already know, so I thought it was only fair…"

"Oh shit."

"My thoughts exactly."

"Well thanks I guess, oh and about the badges, I've been asking them to not wear them-"

"It's fine, but let them know that if any of them tries to approach me they'll be hurt." Naruto's eyes glinted madly at this before she turned around and walked away.

A few paces later she ran into Draco-teme, what a surprise, really.

"Hello Naruto," Draco said his dumb lackeys surrounding him, "I've made a bet with my father, you see, I don't think you'll last ten minutes in the Tournament…He thinks you won't last five."

"Kind of creepy considering your father and I have never met," Naruto commented before inspecting him, "Your hair has grown back nicely hasn't it?"

Naruto took pleasure in the fact that he only took two seconds to run away, his lackeys trailing after him confusedly.

"GAI, USE KONOHA SENPU!"

"KONOHAA SENPUUU!"

"Machop is unable to battle, Gai and Ash win!"

"Ha-ha yeah! We did it Gai!"

"You are truly a great pokemon trainer," The gym leader said putting a hand on Ash's shoulder, "You deserve this badge."

"YEAH!" Ash pumped a fist in the air, "C'mon Gai, time for a rest, you deserve it!"

"No, please, not the pokeball, not the poke-"

And with that said Ash continued on his journey to become a Pokemon MASTER.

GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL…POKEMON

Kisame awoke, blinking his eyes slowly, "White Zetsu! Oh thank god! I had this horrible dream that I was kissing Itachi and- wait, Black Zetsu? What are you doing? Oh god! Oh god! OH GOD! It's all real! Please no more!"

"I love you Kakuzu…" He heard Hidan mumble.

"THE HORROR! WAIT, WHAT- WHAT ARE YOU DOING, OH GOD THAT'S- NOOOOO!" Kisame flailed as he made for the exit, only to find it was blocked.

"I cannot believe we've been forced to do this." Madara mumbled as he picked up a plastic bag filled with dirty diapers and walked it over to the garbage bin.

"Your subordinate pinky-promised," the weird worm thing named Voldemort spoke, "now you must clean my doody."

"Now you must clean my doody." Madara mocked as he heated up a bottle of warm milk for the creature. As soon as this was over he was totally killing Zetsu, however, he felt disappointed in the plant-man as well, he had drilled into the minds of everyone in Akatsuki to never engage in a pinky promise without his express permission.

He brought the bottle to the worm's mouth before it spit out the milk.

"That was not cooked properly fool! Now I must punish you." It held a gnarled white stick towards his face.

Madara fell to the floor and writhed, tears forming at the corner of his eyes he opened his mouth to beg for the worm-thing to stop but he couldn't form articulate syllables.

Later he sat down by Zetsu with a haggard look on his face.

"Oh my god, Madara-sama, what did he do to you?"

Madara closed his eyes, the pain evident upon him, "He- he- he tickled me with a spell of some sort!"

Zetsu couldn't comfort Madara with words; instead he just circled his arms around him in a comforting hug.

"It'll be okay, it'll be okay."

Sirius sent off the owl to his godson with his scrap of a note attached, he had arrived only a few days prior and was starving. The note told Harry to meet him during the first Hogsmeade weekend and to bring food. And lots of it. He was starving.

He stared out at the castle wondering what exactly could have compelled him to come here.

Whatever it was, it was probably epic.

Like, a prank war.

Yep, so this chapter is done.

Yep.

Mmhmm.

For real.

Really really.

I also now realized that me being dumb, I forgot to edit the rest of the unedited chapters.

snap.

-Nacho