Chapter 28
"Shhhhh its alright little ones, daddy's just jealous, yes he is, he's just a big kid himself, can't handle having competition to my attention no he can't," he said in a soothing voice, soon the children where asleep and he turned to see Horatio at the door.
"Your front door was open Eric," greeted the red head as he looked the Cuban over "and was that Ryan I saw tearing out of the car park at a high speed?"
Eric blushed slightly as he ushered Horatio to the lounge so the babies could sleep. "He's just, I can't explain it, he's being so cold doesn't care about them anymore."
Horatio looked at him, waiting for him to finish going through his anger at his lover before he sat on the settee, pushing the leaflets into view.
"Eric, Ryan's going through a lot at the moment," he started, but Eric interrupted.
"Yes I know, but we dealt with this before the babies came along," Eric ground out. Horatio shook his head and looked the younger man in the eyes.
"No his body is full of emotions that usually he would be able to control, I'm sure we've seen the results in our business Eric," looks at him and then at the leaflets.
"Post natal Depression," whispers Eric as it hit him like a ton of bricks forcing him to sit down.
"Men by proxy aren't usually so emotionally charged, so he's got all those going around in his head, and its everyone's natural instinct to check over the children, and where before having our strange family he would have coped, he's become used to getting some attention, and the jealousy and pain he would usually hide is coming to the surface, maybe even making him act without thinking, he needs to go to a doctor." Explained the older man slowly, before Eric looked up at him.
"Not that its good to see you H, but why are you actually here?" they had seen Horatio not 5 hours ago, so he couldn't be just doing a social visit, Horatio peered up at him.
"To tell Ryan that he wouldn't be able to come back to work for another couple of weeks" he said slowly, fiddling slightly with his sunglasses, Eric's frowned as he looked at his boss.
"He knows that, he's got the maternity leave," said Eric confused before Horatio sighed.
"He asked if he could start back tomorrow, saying he wasn't any different to before, that's what made me ask the Dr.'s about his condition, and that's when the depression came into the conversation." The red head said slowly letting it settle into Eric's mind as he gasps, sinking back into his chair, he had been so blind to what was right in front of him, now he wasn't going to be he was going to sort this out. He looked at Horatio.
"Could you watch the children for me?…I need to find him," he asked as he stood up, grabbing his Hummer keys, Horatio nodded as he moved to the nursery to watch over them as Eric rushed off out of the building.
Ryan sat on the orange coloured sand as he watched the sunset, how could be feeling like this, he wasn't a jealous person and he couldn't figure out why he was suddenly so, so full of emotion. He closed his eyes trying to push down the waves that crashed over him, tears slipped down his cheeks, what if Eric thought he wasn't interested anymore, what if Eric listened to his rant and actually took the children, would he really care? He finally gave up, pulling his knees to his chest as he release his tears into them, his body shook slightly as the chill of the night slipped across his T-shirt clad shoulders.
He tensed as someone moved near him before he felt their weight settling next to him, they sat quietly before he felt their eyes on him.
"Cachorro," came the accented whisper, as a warm jacket was dropped around his shoulders, a handed hand slipped under Ryan's cheek lifting his tear streaked face into view. Soft brown eyes met with the emotional green ones. "It will be alright."
Ryan felt his heart sink because to him, those words weren't ever going to become true, he pulled his chin out of Eric's hand and shook his head as he looked back at the ocean.
"No…no it's not going to be alright," he whispers as he got to his feet, dusting the sand off his trousers, he felt Eric stand beside him. Eric frowned at his words and grasps his hands.
"Ryan don't give up, you have a problem and we can get it sorted out," he said holding his hands that he couldn't run. Ryan looked up at him a lost look in his eyes that broke Eric's heart to see. He let one of Ryan's hands go to cup his cheek, using his thumb to brush away the tears that started to fall.
"No Eric, I think this is how its going to be, I…I can't deal with them," he confessed, his body trembled terror that Eric was going to push him away and walk out of his life forever. Eric gripped his chin harder and looked into those emerald pools.
"Ryan, you have Post Natal Depression, we are not going to let this ruin what we had, you don't have to deal with the children on your own, I will be there," the Cuban kissed him desperately, but strongly. "I will never leave you, I will be with you every step of the way, and we have the others to baby sit them so we can have some us time."
Ryan looked at him his eyes giving away that he wasn't sure about any of this, his mind was telling him to run away, to leave the children and Eric behind, but his heart was screaming at him to stay with Eric, and surprisingly through the fog in his mind, the call to be with his children was there, deep inside he could feel his parental feelings stirring before the emotions clouded it again.
The Cuban watched the emotions flickering across his lovers face before he saw the confusion, Eric tipped his chin up and leaned his head against his lover's, his eyes boring into Ryan's, the chocolate orbs where filled with his love for Ryan, and his need.
A pale shaking hand moved up and ran a finger down the tanned skin of Eric's cheek before lips crashed against his, Eric was staggered at the emotions running through it, but he held steady letting Ryan let it all out, he could almost taste the sadness and loneliness from his lover. Wrapping his arms around Ryan's shoulders he pulled him closer, gasping as he pulled back from the kiss.
"Now believe me, everything will be alright," whispers Eric honestly, pulling Ryan to his chest, his arms protectively around him, holding Ryan close as the world around them moved, he was going to be there for him.
It had been a couple of weeks since the incident and Ryan was slowly making a recovery, he had been to the Doctors at Eric's insistence and got given a few things to help, it wasn't by any means an easy path, sometimes Ryan's moods would explode and he would be like a volcano and just let anything and everything come out.
Eric looked down at his lover who was dozing with his head on Eric's leg as the Cuban's fingers brushed through his hair, he remembered the one time that Horatio had been the one to catch it, he had never seen the red head's eyes so wide or had he seen Ryan so apologetic afterwards, but the best one, that he knew Ryan wasn't apologetic for in the slightest was when the green eyed man had literally reduced Natalia to tears, Eric still smiled slightly at it, yes it was sad that he had made someone cry but the girl hadn't got the hint that Eric was taken.
On New Years Eve there was a small party at the restaurant that the CSI's usually went to during their lunch/break hour but this time, everyone one in the lab was invited. They had been having a good time, Uncle Ron had taken the children for the night to give Ryan a much needed time out with Eric. Although he wasn't allowed to drink, Eric's orders, Ryan, to be honest, didn't mind. The night had been a ball, the drinks kept flowing and everyone was dancing. Alexx was cooing over how cute Ryan and Eric where as they danced together, ignoring any looks or jibes they got and many people backed off after a glare from either Ryan or Eric when someone tried to cut in. Even the ever present Horatio got involved in the fun.
It had been nearing midnight as Eric had moved to the bar to get a refill of his beer and Ryan's coke, when he felt a hand slip around his middle, he tensed as he recognised the perfume.
"Natalia," he growled as he moved away from her hand, looking at the woman dead on, watching her flirtatious movements, her eyes batted and she touched his arm.
"Hey Eric, how about a new years night to remember, away from here..." she started her hand creeping up his arm, Eric reached to take the hand off but as he reached it, someone else had yanked her arm away and pushed it back at its owner.
"He'll be having a New years to remember away from here with me," came the familiar growl, as Ryan came out of the dance crowd his eyes dark forest green in anger as he moved in to Natalia's personal space. "Now back off you fucking manipulative, two dollar whore."
Natalia's eyes widened as she looked down at the man that she thought she had also entrapped into her webs, she straightened her shoulders and completely ignored Ryan to look at Eric.
"I believed I asked you the question," she said an edge to her voice, "Come and have fun with me or stay with the small freak."
Eric's own eyes flashed at the words she said about his lover but once more he was cut off.
"Small freak? now really Natalia, I'm sure you can do better than that, come on what about all the things you call your clients in bed, I bet they love it when you call them names, as you aren't that great a fuck, they must want their money back," he snarled as he moved closer, she steps back not seeing Ryan this angry before, "Is that how you got the job because to be honest you've messed up more crime scenes than needed, and you must be really stupid to think that Eric would want to go with you, or can't you see that we're together? Didn't the kissing, dancing together, and having KIDS together put it into that empty place in your fucked up head?"
Many people where looking at them now, Eric lay a hand on Ryan's shoulder getting his attention, looking into those green angry eyes.
"Calm down Cachorro, I think she's got it now," the calm soothing words coming from the Cuban had confirmed what Natalia didn't want to believe before she ran off, her breath hitching in tears. A few lab technicians started to cheer at Ryan's outburst and congratulated the younger man for a job well done. Eric pulled Ryan back to their table and sat him down, trying not the laugh because he knew what Ryan had done was uncalled for but he couldn't help but laugh at the reactions. Alexx had pulled Ryan away from Eric and marched him outside to talk to him about it.
Eric remembered the sorry look on Ryan's face as he came to sit down, not because of what he had said to Natalia but for making Alexx mad enough to shout at him, he played with the brown strands between his fingers as he smiled, as he turned his attention to the movie playing in front of him. He couldn't remember being so content as he was at the moment.
Finally Eric Delko had done the right thing in his life and he was enjoying every moment of it, laying his head back he turned the tv off, and looked at the sunset over the balcony, Yes his life was about to become what he had always wanted