This is where I'm suppose to put how I don't own these characters, but honestly, I don't care. CBS can kiss my ass and whoever thought of Rivkin/Ziva's a bitch/traitor plot can die.

Happy Holidays!

A man in a green elf uniform takes a picture of a little boy sitting on Santa's lap as the little boy yanks on Santa's beard.

"You aren't Santa."

Tony, disguised as Santa quickly replied, "Of course, I am."

"Your beard is fake."

"Well, yeah, there was a bad case of, uh, lice up at the North Pole this year, it hasn't grown back yet, kid. Now scram or you'll be put on the naughty list."

"DiNozzo." Gibbs said, disappointed in his senior field agent.

"Come on, Boss, you should've played Santa...you're about his age." Tony couldn't help himself, grinning his teeth, "Shutting up, Boss."

"You could be playing the elf, DiNozzo."

"Heh." Tony grinned, looking at McGee dressed in his green outfit. "Man, you're cute."

"Shut up." McGee replied.

"I mean it, McGee, you're the cutest elf in the world, look at those little pointed ears and rosey-red cheeks, almost as red as Rudolph's nose."

McGee sighed, "Next."

"You are embarrassing him, Tony." Ziva added, sitting next to Gibbs in the food court of the mall. "But yes, he is cute." She chuckled.

McGee sat a small girl down hard on Tony's lap, "Watch the n..." Tony looked up at McGee, but caught himself just in time, he looked at the girl, "Ho, Ho! You really can't find good help these days, little girl."

Ziva continued chuckled over the ear wigs.

"Santa, I want a pony and a Barbie and a pony for Barbie and shoes."

"Shoes?" Tony repeated. "Man, they start early don't they?"

"We do love our shoes, Santa...DiNozzo." Ziva continued to chuckle on with her chuckled, making Gibbs look her way, she stopped, "What?"

Gibbs shook his head and looked back at Tony and McGee across the way, "Remember why we're here."

"Why is that again, Boss." Tony whispered, smiling as McGee took a photo of him and the little girl, "Don't forget the cookies and milk, Santa likes chocolate chip. Ho ho!" Tony exclaimed cheerfully as he let the little girl down from his lap.

"I won't forget, Santa!" The girl smiled running towards her mom.

Gibbs smiled, watching the little girl. Ziva looked at him, he turned back and saw Ziva looking at him, "What?"

Ziva just smiled, "Nothing."

"Right there, DiNozzo." Gibbs bolted up, staring at a man with a clean-shaven head holding a little girl's hand. "Your nine o'clock, next to the display car."

Tony turned, seeing the man. He stood up from Santa's throne, "Santa needs to take a break, boys and girls...come on, McElf, we need to feed the reindeer."

The man stopped, he gripped the girl's hand tightly as he saw Gibbs and Ziva move in front of him.

"You have no where to go." Gibbs called out, holding up his badge.

The bald man pulled the girl closer into him, grabbing her around the throat, "Where's the money? I'll kill her!"

The sound of a clicking gun made the man turn his head, he did a double take seeing Santa and his elf aiming their weapons at him.

"Why does Santa have a gun, Mommy?" The little boy next in line said.

"Tommy!" His mother yelled.

"McGee, get the kid!" Tony called out.

McGee put himself between the bald man and the child, picking up the child with his free hand, handing him to his mother.

"Screw this!" The man yelled, tossing the little girl to the ground.

The little girl started to cry as Gibbs and Ziva moved over to check on her. The man dashed to the car on display, getting inside.

"What the hell is this guy doing? Like they're gonna leave the keys..." Tony thought outloud. The car started, accelerating towards Tony and McGee, "Oh shit!" Tony yelled, pushing McGee out of the way. Tony hopped onto the hood of the car gripping the top of the hood as tightly as he could. He looked away from the man towards a large crowd of people, "GET OUT OF THE WAY!" He quickly looked back at the man, "Don't make me shoot you!"

The man slammed on the gas and jerked the steering wheel in several directions trying to shake Tony off.

Tony raised the muzzle of his gun to the windshield and unloaded the entire clip into it. The bullet-riddled man's head fell forward causing the car to turn sharply to the right, slamming into a concrete fountain.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Tony yelled as he flew through the air, smashing through a large glass window, landing on his back on a raised white floor display. He tilted his head up, looking down his body as he patted his chest, then stomach and finally his crotch. He smiled, letting out a large sigh of relief.

Suddenly, one side of the display broke, sending Tony falling to the ground below, panties and bras fell on top of him. He lifted a pair of panties from his head, his eyes wide open, "Heh. This would make a good Christmas card."

A creaking noise came from behind Tony. He looked toward the sound in time to see a large clothing rack aiming for his head, "Ahh, crap." The rack smacked into Tony's head hard, forcing his head into the floor, knocking him cold.

--------------

"Damn it, Tony, why do you always do this?" Ziva paced in the waiting room of the hospital.

"Ziva, please." Abby spoke up, worried.

Gibbs' right arm was firmly around Abby's shoulder. "Ziva." He spoke softly, "You're making Abby more nervous."

Ziva looked at Gibbs, seeing the serious look on his face. She sighed, moving to an open seat next to Abby and quickly received a hug from her.

"This is Tony we're talking about, Ziva, he survived the black death, not to mention you." Abby smiled.

Ziva softly chuckled. "True."

A doctor walked out into the waiting room, the entire team rose to their feet, Abby moved over to the doctor, "Is he okay?"

"He sustained a concussion and required 6 stitches to close a gash on his head, but he's going to be fine."

Abby smiled big and quickly hugged Gibbs.

"There is a slight problem, though." The doctor added.

Abby pulled away from Gibbs, Ziva stepped up next to Abby, "What is it?" They asked at the same exact time.

"I'm afraid he doesn't know who he is."

Ziva scoffed, "Idiot." She slid past the doctor, making her way to Tony's room. She walked in, "So, you lost your memory now and we are suppose to believe that, yes?" She chuckled, "Typical Tony."

"Uh, who are you?" A confused looking Tony questioned.

Ziva squinted at him hard, "What do you mean, who am I?"

Tony shrugged his shoulders, "Or better yet, who am I?"