I'll be Home for Christmas

In the beginning, I wanted to write what was happening simultaneously to both, but somehow got caught in Blondie's story. This is the "parallel" sequel to "One Hell of a Road to Christmas"; Starsky's POV on the events that almost shattered the guys lives for ever.

A big Applause and Thanks to my precious B-readers: ECE23 and Alysoun :-). You're sweet things indeed!!

I take the opportunity to thank again for all their reviews on previous stories: Janet Brown, Aussie Mitcham and The Sheriff , whom I could not thank automatically on FFN at the time. And a BIG THANK YOU to ALL the readers, who have been surfing on my stories since I registered on FFN, only four months ago. Your comments are a true blessing and encourage me to go on.

I hope you will enjoy this one too and that you will find some time to leave a little review; you may guess I've become addicted to them :-) and it's these that make me go on an on.

Thanks for being there, all of you. You really make my day...

Prolixius5.

°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

Chapter 1

A split second. That's all I had to decide.

And I made a choice.

I chose you and your life as a husband and possibly a future father. Because you were committed to something greater than yourself.

That night, when my body hit the ground, it was not my back that was hit and shattered, but my heart, my very soul.

Because I thought I would not see you grow as the married one.

I would not be the godfather of your first kid.

I would not even have the chance to have a family of my own.

I thought...

Too much...

Then not at all...

Broken.

Right after that split second, I swear there was no other place on Earth I'd rather have been than safe in your arms, feeling your heart, hearing your voice, taking a last look into those deep blue eyes of yours.

It also meant I would have to leave you behind.

But I was given the greatest final blessing there was: to die in your arms.

Except that it was not my time to die just yet.

My heart did let go in the ambulance though, they said afterwards. I was in peace, ready to go. Surprisingly, I was okay with the idea that you would not witness this nightmare and have to close my eyes for ever. For death was not for you. Someone was waiting for you, counting on you, loving you. And the thread between life and death for me was so thin that the slightest movement could have ruined it for good.

Yet Heaven could wait. First I thought I heard the angels. Even trapped in my coma, I realized it was you. Your voice. Your touch. YOU! That meant I was still alive. And you were by my side. Somehow part of me wanted to be left alone. This time I felt I had endured too much for us to recover.

But each time I felt I was drowning in a peaceful abyss, you would launch a buoy of love and comfort. You gave me so much. On and on. Day after day. Night after night.

I suddenly became aware, behind my closed eyelids, that, should I die, you'd come along.

And God knows I could not let you do that!

I don't know how many days I had to fight those options: to die or to come back to you.

Even my dreams would tend to fight this tragedy and pull me back to the real world.

I am alone in a dark room, as if trapped and no light from outside can guide me. Than all of a sudden a faint ray comes from nowhere, a voice is softly singing me out of my fear, calling me to salvation. I use it as an Ariadne's thread. I feel your presence all around me, your fingers touching my hand. I know it's you and I am afraid to lose you, as if YOU are the one dying.

I can hear your laughter, I can see your sapphire blue eyes like sparkling beacons guiding me towards you. I gotta find a way to help you pull me out of my darkness. You must survive all this. You need to live. Don't stop whispering to me, Blondie. I'm on my way to you, to life, I promise. I can't let you down.

Through the dense fog, I can see Terry at a distance, reaching out for me. God, she is so beautiful, she is literally glowing. I am tempted to reach out to her, to hold her in my arms, to kiss her, to love her again as I used to. She means rest, harmony, redemption. But when she finally touches me with the tip of her fingers, she turns my body away from her and calmly says my time has not yet come.

I need to go back.

I have a mission to accomplish. She liked you back then and now she is telling me my mission is to save YOU. I walk towards the light that emanates from you, to the warmth that irradiates from your touch. Hearing the plea you're silently making to God, not to let me die.

I concur.

I will go back.

God, I will stick with the Blonde Blintz, if you tell me to do so. I'm sorry, Terry, I wish to stay with you, my love, but he's calling me with every fiber of his being. He's hurt inside as much as I'm hurt outside. Together we will make it, I swear, Dear God. Please give me the strength to heal both my body and his soul.

That's it, Hutch, keep on talking to me, Buddy.

Guide me to you.

Get me out of this uncertainty.

I will be strong again, for Me and Thee.

I will walk to you and hold you and make you feel better.

We'll laugh again.

We'll sing again those lovely melodies you write.

We'll argue again about those silly diets of yours.

We'll fight the bad guys again, against all odds.

Please, Hutch, I beg you, keep on singing to me, man, I wanna come home.

I opened my eyes. So slowly.

At first, everything was a blur. Then I saw that sweet face of yours.

Blondie, you look like shit!! But I'm sure damn happy to see ya!

°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

/tbc/