Chapter One: The Tenants

Dr. Jonathan Crane (aka Scarecrow, terror of Gotham) glared at the ceiling of his apartment, watching as his fan threatened to fall on his head. This had been going on for hours: the stomping, the loud music, the yelling. He rolled over on his stomach and covered his head with a pillow.

"Please…" he muttered into the mattress. "Please stop."

But the noise and the chaos continued upstairs, seeming to grow even louder. At last, the not so good doctor couldn't stand it any longer. He crawled out of bed, slipped on his glasses and a bathrobe, and headed out of his apartment to the room above his.

Crane stood and knocked for what seemed forever before he gave up and opened the door himself. He stood paralyzed, his right eye twitching and his knees shaking violently. The poor man had never liked disorder. So when the sight of what looked like a hurricane zone came into view, his mind and bowel movements could only take so much.

Across the room, the Joker and Two Face were having a violent competition of Guitar Hero. The Joker was jumping up and down, really getting into it. Harvey however was up close and personal to the TV screen, trying to see the colors with his one good eye.

Singing, or rather attempting to sing, was Ras Al Gul, holding a hand tenderly over his heart while he screamed My Heart Will Go On into the microphone.

The sight would have made any normal comic book fan laugh. Crane , of course, was not a comic book fan nor did he know that his existence was brought to life only by Bob Kane or Cillian Murphy's portrayal of him. (If he had known, he would have dropped dead and goodbye Scarecrow!)

When the song was over, Harvey was the first to notice his presence. His grin slipped off his face and he let out a nervous laugh, dropping the guitar control.

"Hey, Crane. What's up?"

Crane glanced from Harvey, to the Joker, to Ras Al Gul, then back to Harvey. He was beginning to hyperventilate.

"'What's up' is that its four thirty in the morning and you and that insane clown and ninja don't know the meaning of silence!" shouted Crane, throwing his hands wildly into the air. "Not to mention," he added, grabbing Harvey by the collar. "You've seem to have to forgotten that you are my roommate."

"Well, greetings Spock," came the nasally voice of the Joker. He watched with amusement behind Harvey, holding up his hand in a Vulcan salutation. "Captain Kirk and I have, uh, been holding down the ship while you've had your beauty rest." He licked his scar, and then erupted into a fit of giggles.

Ras Al Gul pulled Harvey from Crane's grip and pushed him to safety. "If I recall," he said in his awesome Jedi voice. "You seem to enjoy having… how did you put it? 'That Bacon Faced Blondie' out of your hair."

Crane crossed his arms. "I was particularly upset that day."

"You texted me that two hours ago!"

"I did not!" protested Crane.

"Not to mention," Al added, pulling out his iPhone with his neato ninja moves. "You put on your Twitter, 'Is very happy Beef Jerky has left'."

"But I didn't!" Crane once again lied. He looked over at Harvey and to his horror, Harvey's lip (er…at least half of it) began to quiver. "No, Harvey, I didn't mean it."

"No!" sobbed Harvey, hugging (look up: suffocating) the Joker in distress.

"Can't…breathe…" the Joker gasped, trying to reach for his knife, but failing miserably.

"I have had it with you!"

The anarchy abruptly ceased…and unintentional comedy arose.

"You know, you guys might think that you're the only ones who live in this apartment," Batman growled, tying the ropes of his pink bathroom over his armor. "But you're not. There are some people here who don't stay up all night and actually have to wake up early to go to a – oh, here's a word you don't know - job."

Crane looked particularly offended.

"And as if your late night riots aren't enough to keep me surviving in the morning on coffee, I hope you know that you're going to paying to clean off the eggs and toilet paper you put on my car!" And with that, Batman waddled out of the apartment, his slippers' shuffles echoing on the metal stair case.

While Harvey released a crippled Joker and Al was still processing what he had seen, Crane rushed to the door and shouted, "Oh yeah? Well, you're not the only one with job, mister! At least I'm not the one who's flipping burgers!"

A/N: Wow, hi! Look who's alive? I'm very very sorry for not writing for an entire year. Life has been interesting and my writing sense of humor died on me…but good new! It's slowly coming back. I'll be updating stories and I'm brainstorming my first "serious" fan fiction.