A/N: this little ditty is my reward to myself for successfully (i think) finishing 3/4s of my finals. plus, if the show's producers don't want to do anything with this moment, then i will. :]
disclaimers: if i owned Castle i'd be a happy, happy girl.

Suspension of Disbelief
xxx

Wait.

Stop.

Hold up.

Detective Kevin Ryan couldn't believe what he just saw. It was just … he shook his head to clear it. Was it possible? No. It couldn't be. And yet…

He glanced over at Esposito, who was looking back at him with the expression on his face of someone who'd just been slapped. He gestured across the desk. "Did I just see what I think I did?"

"A sign of the apocalypse? Yeah, I think so."

Esposito let out a breath and shook his head slowly. "Wow."

"I know." Ryan paused. "You know what we've gotta do, right?"

Interlacing his fingers, Esposito cracked his knuckles, and then jerked his head to either side to crack his neck. Finally ready, he took a steeling breath. "Yeah. Let's do this."

The two detectives looked at each other one final time, nodded, and moved in unison around the desk. They strode swiftly into the break room in pursuit of their intended target. Esposito shut the door sharply behind them, and they lined up to face their unsuspecting victim.

Ryan cleared his throat, and Castle turned around, still wiping his hands clean of the offending coffee. "Oh, don't worry," he said hastily, "I'll clean up the spill on the fl—"

"That's not what we're here for," Esposito said sternly. He paused for a beat. "But thanks."

Castle's brow wrinkled. "Then what can I do for you?"

Ryan spoke up. "Castle, we need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"'About what?!'" Esposito exclaimed incredulously, and turned to Ryan. "Is this guy serious?"

"Chill, bro," Ryan said, "I don't think it's registered yet."

Castle was thoroughly confused. "Seriously, what's going on?"

Esposito sighed harshly. "You and Beckett."

"What about me and Beckett?"

"You spilled coffee on her."

Castle grimaced. "Yeah, not one of my finer moments."

"But it was one of hers."

"Man, if you're about to make a wet t-shirt joke, I swear to god I'll—"

Ryan held up a hand. "That's not the kind of 'fine' he was talking about, Castle."

Esposito smirked. "But good job getting territorial, dude."

Castle looked a little flustered, but recovered quickly. "Okay, you've made your point, I'm not as smart as you two are. Now will you please tell me what the hell you're getting at?"

"Alright," Ryan sighed. He turned to Esposito. "You wanna get this?"

"Nah, go for it. You're better at this sentimental crap."

Ryan made a face, and faced Castle again. "Okay, man. What just happened out there?"

"Uh, I was bringing Beckett coffee, we walked into each other, it spilled on her, and she went to go change her shirt."

Esposito cupped a hand around his ear. "What was that?"

"I was bring—"

"No, man, the last part!"

"Um, she went to change her shirt?"

Ryan and Esposito nodded fervently.

Castle raised an eyebrow. "And…?"

Esposito sighed, and turned to Ryan. "He still doesn't get it."

Ryan shook his head sadly. "I think we need to spell it out for him."

"Okay," Castle interjected, "first of all, stop talking about me like I'm not here. And second—"

"Oh come on, man!" Esposito cried. "You spilled something on her, she thanked you for bringing her coffee, and then she walked away!"

"Without threatening to kill you," Ryan piped up.

"Or threatening to shoot you—"

"—or threatening any other form of bodily harm—"

"—or vow revenge in any way—"

"—or glare at you—"

"—or even roll her eyes."

"That's a big deal, bro," Ryan said seriously.

"Huge."

"Earth-shattering."

"It would've been totally different a couple months ago," Esposito said wisely.

"Yeah," Ryan said with a nod, "ever since you've been back she's been more…"

"…ya know…"

"…kinda…"

"…nice."

"Mm, nice is a good word for it. I was gonna go with 'less scary,' but 'nice' gets the job done."

"I thought so."

"But I digress!" Ryan said suddenly, causing Castle to jump. "I hope you know what this means."

"Beckett isn't nice to just anyone, ya know."

"You should be honored."

"And take this very, very seriously."

"Now, we can't stop you from making a move on her…"

"But we can make sure you know that we're licensed to use our guns…"

"And will not hesitate to use them if you do anything to her."

"Understand?"

A ringing silence filled the break room as Castle stared dumbfounded at the two men in front of him. Ryan had to stop himself from laughing as he watched Castle collect his thoughts and get the power of speech back. "Uhh, yeah," he stuttered. "Yeah, I get it. Serious."

"Really, dude," Esposito said seriously, "do you know how many morons that girl has dated?"

"Um, no. And to be quite honest I don't think I want to."

"No, you don't."

"And we don't want you to be known to us in the future as one of those morons," Ryan said. "So proceed with caution."

"Yeah. All or nothing."

"Go big or go home." He paused. "No pun intended."

Castle grinned. "Guys, I appreciate you telling me this, and your concern is touching. Really. But don't worry, I get it. I got one second chance already; I'm not planning on needing a third."

"Alright," Ryan said. He turned to Esposito. "I'm satisfied."

"Yeah, me too. But," Esposito said, glaring at Castle menacingly one last time, "my offer to make you bleed still stands."

Castle held up his hands innocently.

Ryan glanced between the two a few times. "Ya know what? I won't ask." He spotted Beckett approaching the break room, securely zipped into a jacket, and nudged Esposito. "Come on, man. Let's let him dig himself into a hole." He shot a good-natured smile and a thumbs up in Castle's direction, and the two detectives walked out, smiling innocently at Beckett as they passed.

Ryan waited until they were safely out of earshot before speaking again. "Fifty bucks they're together by Valentine's Day."

"Deal."

FIN.