Getting Thicker than Before

Life is boring.

Am I right?

So that's why I'm here! I'm THE Hero, Alfred F. Jones! The F stands for freedom, kickass right?

Well let me tell you something.

…I have no clue where the hell I am…

I blame my step-brother Arthur for this, he's always making weird foods and always mumbling how much an idiot American I am. I swear that guy needs a life, the only thing that distracts him from trying to curse me, is a guy even more weirder then him! Some Frenchmen who likes to grope my brothers ass, AND MINE, and always seems to be carrying roses that come out of nowhere. Oh and streaking naked just about everywhere.

…Yeah…I thought I would go completely blind….

ANYWAYS! Back to what I was saying! I woke this morning as usual, nothing bad going on so I'm cool with life for the moment. I went into the kitchen to see Arthur trying to cook. Again. I tell him I would gladly love to have some, but I'm afraid that I would become a tasteless person such as him; in the most nicest possible way. I ran out of the house before the small Brit could stab me with a fork. Everything was going as normal just as planned, well except for Matty not whining in the background how I only make Arthur mad and nothing good would come of it.

Moving on, I went by Mickey D's to pick me up some wholesome, American real food. Love their fucking hamburgers. And after I'm done eating and slurping the rest of my coke, suddenly I hear the most creepyish, terrifying scream.

"Brother!! Stop running away! We are meant to be together!!" I see two figures running this way. A slightly older looking guy then me, for a moment I thought he had one of those diseases where it effects your hair color, making it at all white and grayish; then I realize that the guy just has really blond hair that was so light, it looked pretty white. Hahahaha. That rhymed…Where was I? Oh yeah! And the thing that was really eye catching was his violet eyes, I wonder if he's rich? One time I was reading the Guinness World of Records, that this one chick was pretty rich because she had purple eyes. Anyways, the guy looked pretty tall, like another foot taller than me. And the girl was…well I guess you can say she looked pretty, she had blue eyes and blond hair like the guy, 'cept hers was more darker; the thing that threw her whole looks off was that she had that possessive, rape-look. And I didn't even knew that kind of word was real, even Francis didn't chase you getting ready to rape you. He rapes with his eyes…

…Creep foreign dude…

"Brother dear! Let's stop playing games! We should get married!" With that bringing me out of my little world, I'm guessing she wants to marry the poor 'Brother' guy….Incest….I really don't care for it at the moment…

I'm pretty much standing like 20 feet away from them, and I know this city of chaos like the back of my hand. New York City, the Empire state, and one of the most crowded places in America.

Yup. Gotta love it.

There's a series of alleys behind me, this park of the city is full of mazes in the streets. I heard this guy got lost the first time he was here.

Heh. First timers are so stupid.

I get back absorbed into the real world. I realize the guy is about to pass me, with the girl on his tracks. I take a step back, giving room for them on the sidewalk. As the guy appears right in front of me, I stick my arm out, grab him and quickly take off the opposite direction of the girl. She must be quick, because I hear more than one set of feet behind me. I look back for a moment; I now know I was right, she's right behind us. But at a great distance, I see the guy giving me a puzzled look, along with a slight frown. What the hell was his problem? I was saving his sorry ass! I look back ahead to see a fork of rows laid out in front. I know where I am, so I choose the one at the left end. Its suppose to lead to creek. Which it did. Because there was a seemingly small ledge, but it was actually pretty large. I stopped right in front of the creek, the two strangers seem to be out of breath. I take a step forward, pulling the guy with me.

"Wait! What the hell are you doing?!" Apparently the guy is Russian…Well if the guy is a commie, which only makes me a better hero for saving the victim/enemy…Right?

Well taking the plunge with the guy was sort of annoying; he kept trying to rip his arm off. Before we hit the water, I pull us onto the ledge, keeping nice and dry! See? I can plan things out ahead of time! I'm just that awesome!

Once he realized he was okay, I glared fiercely at me. He opened his mouth to yell, but I rose a finger up, signaling to shut the fuck up. Pointing up, I think he realizes that some crazy, blond who is overly obsessed with her brother is still up there.

"Brother! I can't believe that stupid American took you from me! But don't worry, I know you're alive and I will find you! It's meant to be!" Once her steps fade, disappearing away, we both sigh. And oh the guy I just saved is pinning me to the ground. Oh joy.

"You are an idiot. You do know this, da?" Giving me a childish smile, along with the creepy childish voice. I couldn't help but feel he didn't take my favor to him very well. What a jackass.

"Hey, I was only helping you out! You do know that you had a girl with a rape-face look chasing you down, da?" I mock him. He deserved it. Not even a thank you from saving him from incest rape!

....Now that kinda bothers me...

The Russian dude gave me a harsh glare. Eh. Talk about PMSing.

"I didn't ask you to do anything you stupid American, I could have gotten away just fine" Damn his teeth are whiter then the people on the posters at the dentist. Oh wait what did he say?

"Hey! I'm not stupid! I just saved you from being raped in the middle of a street!" I yelled back, seriously this guy was starting to annoy me.

"Well then why did you do it? You nitwit?" I could feel his nails digging into my wrist. Ouch. Does the guy not cut his nails? "Do you want something from me? Money? A favor? Sex?"

Yeah at this point I feel all the blood drain from my face and come right back up at an amazing speed.

"What?! Hell no! I did it 'cause I'm the hero!" I pushed myself up, making him lose grip and letting go. Thank god. I think I might have permanent fingernail marks now. "I don't need anything like that from you! Just thank me, and I'll be out of your life!" Lets just get this over with. I'm starting to feel hungry again from all the wasted energy I used on this guy. Jackass commie.

"..." We had a staring contest from what seemed like for ever. I wanted to throw my head back in annoyance.I rubbed my eyes underneath my glasses. I suddenly hear something very familiar.

GURRRRR~

Ah my stomach. I knew I was getting hungary...

I looked back at him. He rose his eyebrow, seeming to be unimpressed.

I just laughed.

"Hey, you know what? I don't really care whether you thank me or anything, I wanna go get something to eat," I threw my arms behind my head, I guess it would be kinda my fault if I just left him here, "Wanna join me?" I know I would regret those words soon enough...

"Sure..." He rolled his eyes.

And so when we were out of the maze of alleys, I started to walk towards to the golden arch's....

"No way in hell am I going to go in there" I turned to him, I was pretty sure I was gaping at him. No Mickey D's? Drop dead commie dude!

"Well why the hell not? I'll pay for my own food!" Didn't mean I was going to pay for him though. I'm a hero, not a bank.

"I have no doubt that you will," He rolled his eye's, how uncool, "But I don't think you noticed that the food in there may be toxic and full of mutated cow meat from all the hormones" He's dissing the food? I can get it if you was creeped out by the clown, even I was slightly...I actually had a nightmare where the clown came in my dream and told me if I didn't buy his chicken nuggets, he was going to make my blood into ketcup...Did I say that out loud?

"....Yes, I am 'dissing' the food..." He gave me a weirded out look, "I am not creeped out by the clown..."

We both just suddenly smiled, and not in the good way. He had his creepish smile out again, and I was pretty sure I was forcing out a smile that seemed a little menacing.

"Ivan!" We both jolted at the sudden noise, we both looked to see a women with short blond hair and wow giant tits alert, and besides those...eye pulling features, up close she seems to have blue eyes that seemed very similar to the other girls eyes from earlier....except without the rape look...

"Ivan! I'm so sorry! I thought she was just starting to mellow out about you being in the house in your pajamas!" She looked like she was about to burst into tears. I could see the commie besides me tense up.

"No, no, no! I should have not been so careless in the morning! Please don't cry sister!" I wanted to laugh so hard right now, but I refrained from it, taking in the small little voice that said "If you mess with him at this moment. There is a high possibility he WILL murder you in your sleep"...Gotta love the good advice.

"O-Ok then..."She suddenly looked over at me, a cheerful smile given to me in my direction, "Oh whose this? A new friend Ivan? I hope Toris won't mind if you give someone else attention other then him" Who's Toris? A dog?

The tall Russian dude suddenly gave a soft chuckle.

...And it seemed nice...

I mentally slapped myself as hard as I could without causing mental damage. Nothing about this commie was nice. Not at all.

"No, the American is someone I just met today, he could never replace Toris," His face seemed to have a slight shadow added, "He is much more fun to play with then with..." Ha. I'll just pretend I didn't feel the stab of insult. And the idiot doesn't even know my name.

"Alfred Jones," I gave a glare to the stupid commie, then giving a polite smile to his sister apparently, "I should be going now though, it was nice meeting you guys" I turned around, deciding my exiting was pretty awesome and heroic-like.

"See you around Alfred! My names Katyusha! by the way!" I glanced back to see her waving, I gave a slight wave back and continued walking.

Nice girl. To bad her brothers a jackass.

And at the moment I thought I would never see either of them again, sure I might see them walking around the streets and give a smile, or glare, but other then that, it was very unlikely.

...Too bad that this day ended not the way I planned...

When I went back home, I saw Arthur and Matty talking to some familiar Chinese looking guy with long black hair, pulled into a ponytail, and seemed to be into a argument with Arthur...But Arthur fights with everyone, so it can't be that bad right?

...And apparently the guy is owner of the house we're renting...

"I haven't gotten rent money for the past 3 months, aru!" Well didn't he seem pissy, "Either pay up now, or come up with something else fast" I swear that the Chinese can be so....I don't really know, he's like the only Chinese man I know personally.

"I can't come up with the bloody fucking money just like that! I can't just drop everything else at the moment and pay up over 10,000 right now!" Yeah Arthur does have a job, but its failing. Seriously why the hell would someone buy weird British food and occult books all in one place? Its like a secondhand, fucked up British version of Barns & Noble and a star bucks....They have good coffee...

"Well what are you going to do then ! I can't keep letting you stay here rent free, aru!" Okay so if we don't pay...We're homeless? I looked over at Arthur and Matty, they both had a lot going for them at the moment more than me. Even though I'm the hero 24/7, it doesn't mean that I didn't get bored when something wasn't going on. At least Matty was in collage, I got kicked out for being to obnoxious...Though I think the teachers was just jealous that I whiped thier asses in poker....That was a good day for me, humiliating annoying old people and taking 500 from each, how is that in anyway bad? I decided to step in before Arthur replied to him.

"Hey, I got some time on my hands," Once their attention was on me I continued, "I could do some odd jobs or something for you to pay off the rest of the rent, right?" When expecting how stupid the idea was, and how I should just stay out of the way, the Chinese man was actually giving it some thought.

"Sure, why not?" He dug for something out of his pocket, a white card exactly, "Come to this address, okay? Aru" I took the card, scanning it over before shoving it into my own pocket.

"Anything I have to bring with me?" I asked, he gave me a slight smile.

"A change of clothes might be a good idea, other then that the rest should be supplied when you get there," He looked over to his watch, "I have to get going now, aru. There are important guests tonight, aru!" And with him running out of the room, the three of us just stood there in silence...Until Arthur had to ruin the dramatic effect.

"Why did you do that?! You bloody idiot! Do you even know what Yao does?!" I shook my head, he was a landlord right? "He works for the Mafia, you fucking idiot!"

I suddenly felt my soul escape my body....And was suddenly was pulled back in when Arthur hit me upside the head.

"Why couldn't you let me die?! I don't want to work for some Mafia!" I stopped my own ranting for a moment, "Which one?" Even I knew that there was more then just one Mafia in New York. Pfft. I'm not that dense.

"The Russian Mafia," For some reason I felt I had to throw myself out a window. There's no possible way...Yeah, no way whatsoever that the tall, eye catching Russian I ran into today was the same guy right?

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"ACK-CHOOO!" A tall, violet eyed man sneezed. Rubbing his nose slightly at the suddenness.

"Oh Ivan! Someone must be thinking of you!"

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And so the next morning I found myself in front of a large red building, with a Стать одним written on the wall...What the hell does that mean? I knocked on the door, only to meet with the violet eyes from the day before.

We had a revival of the staring contest. It was ruined when I saw Yao come to the door.

"Ah Alfred! I see met Ivan, how nice," Yao gave an uneasy smile, "Well come on Alfred, I'll show you what you will be doing today" And with the grabbing of the already bruised wrist, Yao pulled me in and took me into another part of this place. When we suddenly stopped, Yao gave a concerned look.

"Please remember, your here to work, and nothing else," letting go of my hand, he shoved two buckets of paint in one hand, and a paint brush in the other. "As you can see, this room has been cleared out, there is a step-stool for the slightly harder to reach places and paint roller if you have anymore difficultly, now I have other things to do, I'll check back on you at noon. Aru" And with the Chinese man gone, Alfred saw that the room was cleared. Sadly apparently the walls had wallpaper, so unless he didn't want to avoid a problem if he painted over the paper, only for it to fall off and land on something important, he would have to peel it all off...

"Fuck"

And so that is how I ended up in a room I have no idea where, and with no windows, I hope I don't die from inhaling the fumes.

....I should probably take of my jacket...

Akane- Hey! My first attempt at writing a Hetalia fanfic =_= is it me, or does it seem that other stories seem to involve the Mafia at one point? Well either way, It was the only thing I could come up with after awhile...So review and help a girl feel like this isnt a total waste of time, will yeah? And the sign that was on the building means "Becoming one" since I couldn't think of anything else, and I'm just starting to learn Russian, so if anyone has a say on about it and there's something wrong with it give me a heads up, kay?

Review, or no fast update~ Like ever, since I would be morally crushed and have my co. partner on this sight write the rest, and she is NOT a yaoi fan!