Never Believe It's Not So

"Dr. Brennan? Do you mind if I come in?" Dr. Sweets asked, standing in the doorway of Dr. Temperance Brennan's office at the Jeffersonian Institute. She looked up.

"Sure. What's up?" She asked, curiously.

"Well, I'd like to talk to you about something."

"Without Booth?" She was a little confused. Sweets rarely wanted to talk to her on her own.

"Yes, just you." He smiled. He'd realised recently that they didn't get to talk one-on-one very often, and there was definitely an issue that needed to be addressed.

"Any reason in particular?" She asked, as Sweets sat down in the seat opposite her desk.

"Well, Dr. Brennan, it's been four and a half months since Agent Booth's surgery." He began.

"Yes, I'm well aware of the time of year, Sweets." She smirked. She held up her Blackberry. "This thing has a built-in calendar, you know."

"No, I know that you know what the date is, Dr. Brennan. What I mean is that it's been quite a while since the ordeal you went through."

"By ordeal I'm assuming you mean when Booth forgot who I was." She sighed. "Sweets, he forgot who everyone was, including you. This isn't just about me."

"Yes, I know, but I'm interested to hear your feelings on the matter." He explained. She shrugged.

"Well it wasn't too surprising. He had a tumour likeable in size to a ping-pong ball in his temporal lobe. Memory loss isn't out of the ordinary in a case like his." Sweets sighed. She made herself seem so cold, callous, scientific, but Sweets could see right through this tough outer shell. Inside she was still picking up the pieces from what had happened, as much as she'd like to deny that nothing ever fell apart in the first place.

"No, I mean how did it make you feel? When he looked you in the eye and didn't know who you were. How did you feel?"

"Well, he didn't actually forget who any of us were, Sweets. He was just confused. He forgot who we really were, not who were altogether." She was deflecting, finding flaws in his argument to delay the inevitable answer she'd have to give him.

"But he thought you were his wife. That didn't affect you? At all?"

"Well I knew that was a figment of his imagination. He had a dream, and his entire world was different, including me. He didn't think I was his wife, clearly he'd just imagined his wife looking like me."

"But doesn't it strike you as odd that, of all the females he knows, you were the one he chose to be his wife?"

"He didn't choose anything, Sweets. It was a dream, created by his subconscious."

"But isn't that even more telling? That his subconscious, which he has no control over, would view you as his wife in an ideal world?"

"Not really. We've played the part of lovers before, Sweets, several times, during undercover work. Remember Buck and Wanda?"

"I do, Dr. Brennan, but his dream didn't involve the circus. You owned a nightclub together. You were going to have a baby together."

"The baby thing clearly stemmed from my request for him to donate sperm, Sweets." She insisted. "If I was you, I'd be more worried about the fact that he made you a bartender."

"That's not important, Dr. Brennan." Sweets said. "And he did also make me a talented musician." He added.

"Well if what he made you wasn't important, why do you think my role was?"

"Well, like I said, this was effectively Booth's ideal world. In this world Booth was happy. The fact that I was a bartender, that had no bearing on his happiness, but you being his wife, now that certainly did."

"So you're implying that his brother being a murderer made him happy?"

"Well, there's no such thing as a perfect world, Dr. Brennan."

"Ideal and perfect aren't the same thing?" She pointed out. "If he had created a perfect world, free of everything that was wrong with this world, he wouldn't have made Jared a murderer."

"But the fact still remains that he made you his wife, and he was happy."

"But you can't say that that was what he really wanted."

"Why not? You think Agent Booth wouldn't love to marry you?"

"Well your whole basis for that being what he wanted was that he'd created an ideal world. Clearly he didn't, so you can't take it as a given that in an ideal world we'd be married." Sweets couldn't fault her logic, not in a way that she'd accept anyway, like the fact that love isn't logical. He decided to address this in another way, because clearly they weren't getting anywhere like this.

"Well, if this didn't affect you, at all, why did you flee to Guatemala for six weeks as soon as Booth woke up?"

"I had important work to do down there." She insisted.

"So important that it couldn't have waited until you'd made sure Booth was okay?"

"I sat by his bedside for four days straight, Sweets. Don't you try to make out like I didn't care about him. I was there when he woke up; I made sure he was okay."

"But he wasn't, Dr. Brennan. Agent Booth was not okay. He thought you were married to him."

"He got over that."

"Not until after you left. You left not knowing whether he was ever going to be able to face reality again. It frightened you that you might have lost him. You ran away from those feelings, because you couldn't face the thought of life without Booth."

"That's completely ridiculous, Sweets." She protested.

"It's okay to feel scared, Dr. Brennan. If I was in your position, it would scare the shit out of me."

"But it didn't."

"I'm not so sure."

"Clearly." She sighed, exasperated. "Why do you even care? This was months ago. I'm fine now, back in the country, and Booth's recovering well. How I felt then isn't important anymore. Life is getting back to normal again."

"This isn't going to just go away. You went through a traumatising experience. If you don't learn from what happened, things aren't going to be any better next time."

"Next time? What are the chances that this is going to ever happen again?"

"I don't mean exactly what happened happening again, but what if you're put in the position of nearly losing Booth again? What if you do lose him? Don't you want to understand why you acted like you did this time, so you can handle it better if it does happen again?"

"But I understand why I went to Guatemala, Sweets, and it wasn't because of Booth."

"You can tell yourself that as many times as you want, but it's never going to become the truth. You know that."

"Well if you're so certain about it, what do you suggest is the truth?"

"I think you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"I can assure you I don't." She insisted. He cast her a knowing look.

"I think you do."

"I don't." She was belligerent.

"So, you can look me in the eye, right now, and tell me that your relationship with Agent Booth is no more than a professional partnership?"

"Well, of course it's not, Dr. Sweets." His eyes lit up. "We're friends, close friends, in fact. I can tell Booth anything. Well, almost anything." He sighed. His hopes had been raised in vain. It was definitely going to prove to be more difficult to coax a confession out of her.

"So that's it? Just...friends?"

"Yes, just friends." She nodded.

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"I'm not so sure."

"You never are."

"That's because I never feel like you're only telling me half the story."

"Why is that?"

"Because I've seen you with Agent Booth. I've seen the way you look at each other, interact with each other. All of it would suggest a much more profound bond."

"Well, we're very close. We're a part of each other's lives, I guess. Booth would do pretty much anything for me, as I would for him." Sweets was intrigued.

"Go on."

"Well, he's saved me, on more than one occasion. I was held hostage once, and he saved me. And then there was the time the Gravedigger kidnapped me."

"I thought that that was Booth."

"No, a while before you came, myself and Hodgins were taken too. Booth pulled me out of the sand when we blew the car up. Without him we would have died for sure. I mean I know Zack and Angela and Cam helped too, but it was Booth who saw that explosion. We would have suffocated by the time anyone had found us in that quarry if Booth hadn't spotted what was probably just a poof of smoke. I... I owe him my life." Sweets smiled.

"So you admit that your relationship does run deeper than simply friendship."

"I guess so." She knew so, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

"And what about last Christmas? You know, when you kissed?" She turned white.

"That...that was merely a favour. Booth was helping me get a nice Christmas for my family. Like I said, he'd do anything for me."

"But you can't say you didn't enjoy it, even just a little bit?" He teased. She was quiet. "I'll take that as a no."

"He is a good kisser." She said quietly. "But that doesn't mean anything 'profound'. A kiss is just a kiss."

"I'm not so sure."

"Big surprise there."

"Dr. Brennan, the longer you deny your feelings the harder it's going to be for you to admit them."

"What feelings? It was only a kiss! It doesn't hold any supposed deeper meaning, Sweets. You're reading way too much into this."

"I'm not so sure." He smiled. "I think you like the way you feel like you're special to him, like you have a place in his world. You do care about what he thinks of you."

"Well as much as I'd like to deny it, people's opinions do matter."

"But Booth's more so than most's."

"Of course. I want him to respect me. I value his respect."

"You want him to do more than just respect you. You want him to care about you, and he does, just as you care about him."

"Not a lot of people have ever cared about me."

"I doubt that."

"I was the butt of most people's jokes growing up, and that didn't get any better when I went into foster care. People are cruel. You of all people should understand that." He nodded. "But Booth isn't cruel, and he's helped me see that everyone else isn't necessarily, that there's value in trusting other people. People aren't always going to let you down." He smiled. "And, I like it when he calls me 'Bones'. I used to think he was making fun of me, and my profession, but it's a term of endearment. It's the first nickname I've ever had that wasn't intended to hurt me."

"I know, I've seen the way you smile when he uses it."

"I thought I was good at hiding things like that." She whispered. "Clearly not."

"Well, psychology's not as ill-defined as you think." Sweets smiled. "I'm trained to be able to spot these things."

"Love is ill-defined. This says nothing for psychology."

"Who said anything about love?" She froze. "Now that's a Freudian slip if I ever heard one."

"Don't start psychoanalysing me, Sweets. I meant to say life."

"But you said 'love'. You can't deny that that means something. Freudian slips are the result of repressed feelings. This is what's going to keep happening if you don't admit that you love him." The paleness of her skin turned to a deep red colour almost instantaneously.

"I...I don't love him. Not...not like that." She stuttered.

"I'm not so...convinced." He smiled. "You love Agent Booth, and that terrifies you."

"You've got it all wrong, Sweets."

"Really? Because it's not just me who thinks so, and you know that." She looked down, remembering all those times people had mistaken her and Booth for a couple.

"All those people, they barely know me or Booth when they think we're together."

"I wasn't thinking of them, Dr. Brennan. I was thinking more of people who know you better."

"Well, Angela's the only one who's ever said anything, and you know she's an idealist."

"Not always a bad thing." He pointed out. "Dr. Wyatt also agrees with me."

"Gordon Gordon? He barely knows us."

"He knows you much better than you think, and he's twice the psychologist I'll ever be. And then there's Booth's grandpa. He stated on several occasions that he thought you two were perfect for each other, and he knows Booth better than anyone in the world."

"That is true."

"And then there's me. I could see the sexual tension between the two of you from the moment you entered my office, almost three years ago. The way you bickered, but you clearly cared for each other. Remember how hurt Booth seemed when he thought you two wouldn't even have coffee anymore if you didn't work together?" She nodded. "Well that's exactly what I'm talking about."

"He just didn't like the idea of not seeing me anymore, which was irrational because in that scenario he never knew me at all."

"You're missing the point, Dr. Brennan. I've been convinced that you loved him for years, and you can't even admit it to yourself."

"Okay...maybe...maybe I do love him." Sweets smiled broadly.

"I knew you could do it." He laughed. "This is fantastic. You have to tell him."

"No." She said, defiantly. "I'm not going to tell him. That's the last thing I'm going to do." Sweets' face fell.

"What? But he should know this. You owe it to him, and yourself, to tell him."

"No. He's been through far too much this year for me to just land this on him."

"I don't think so, Dr. Brennan. Agent Booth needs to hear this."

"But what if he doesn't love me back? Then what would I do? It would be...humiliating."

"I don't think you need to worry about that." She heard a familiar voice. She looked up, and her fears were confirmed. It was Booth standing in the doorway. He'd come to see her, to take her out for breakfast, and had overheard the whole conversation. She could feel her heart stopping inside her chest. An indescribable feeling washed over her, and before she knew it she was standing up, walking over to him.

"I...I..." She struggled to get the words out, but Booth put a finger to her lips to silence her.

"Ssh, don't say a word." And suddenly his lips were crashing down upon hers, and her arms were around his neck. They were lost in the embrace, the whole world around them, including Sweets who was left to look on from his seat, disappearing. Nothing but the feeling of each others' lips, and tongue, upon their own, mattered. Every feeling of wanting, needing, simply rushed out of them in one short burst. Brennan suddenly realised what that feeling she'd felt was: it was relief. Relief that everything was out in the open, there were no more secrets just waiting to burst out. All the tension that had existed between them, separated them like an invisible but very present barrier, dissipated. They were together, at last, and nothing could deny that feeling.

Eventually, though, the kiss had to end. They broke apart, but remained close in their embrace. By this stage, their kiss had attracted the attention of many passers-by, including Angela, who was cheering and punching the air, albeit silently to avoid ruining the moment. Sweets simply smiled, making his escape to leave them in peace. Bones smiled at him on his way out, mouthing a simple 'thank you'. Yes, his work there was definitely done.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do that." Booth whispered, stroking her soft, shiny hair.

"Oh, don't worry, I do." She smiled. "And we waited far too long. Patience can be a terrible thing." He smiled back, ecstatically.

"So, where do we go from here?"

"Anywhere, as long as it's with you."

"I think...I think I'll start here." And he kissed her again. Everything those past five and a half years had been leading up to this moment. It was everything they could have imagined it would be, and more.

It was magical.