Chapter 1: Barbecue with the Muddlefoots

"He faced the scum of the city, the crème de la crime..." Pacing back and forth, a certain mallard was muttering to himself. "He survived the worst the world had to throw at him and ...and..." He paused. "Oh, pond it." It just wasn't the same without the mask.

Darkwing Duck had indeed faced countless criminals and managed to come out relatively unscathed, but this was something his alter ego, Drake Mallard, would have to do by himself.

He had no idea how he had let himself get roped into this. It had started innocently enough, with Binky coming over with some leftover cookies. Of course his neighbor had missed the right moment to leave – which was about twenty seconds after knocking on that door, if he had anything to say about it – and kept blabbering about the friendly family cook-out the Muddlefoots were planning. Her cousin would attend, unfortunately she couldn't make it out here as often as she'd like, and she was an adorable person, always took such a keen interest in the kids and she would be delighted to see that Honker had made a friend, and wouldn't Drake like to come too?

Drake had developed the lamentable tendency to just smile and nod and herd her towards the door in such cases. Only belatedly, when he watched Binky walk down his yard, whistling happily, did it dawn on him just what he had agreed to. Barbecue with the Muddlefoots. Again. That had been two days ago and try as he might, he hadn't managed to weasel his way out of this one – rather embarrassing for the finest mind in crime fighting, but there you are.

Anxious to spend as little time with his neighbors as possible Drake kept walking around in his living room, waiting for Binky's cousin to arrive. "As if one of that sort wasn't enough," he muttered to himself. "They'll probably keep talking about recipes, and, and...."

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a car coming up Avian Way, a very sensible gray little Volvo. With a sigh, Drake braced himself.

"Gosalyn," he shouted. "Let's get going."

To his mild disappointment he heard the red-headed little duck come out of her room immediately. He turned towards the stairs – and his eyes widened when he saw the young duckling crash down the banister with alarming speed. "Incoming!" she squealed but it was too late for Drake to duck. There was an audible Oomph and the mallard was flat on his back, his daughter sitting on his chest with a sheepish grin.

"Sorry."

"Gosalyn, how often did I-" He looked up. "Oh. Hello, Honker."

"Hi, Mr. Mallard," the boy murmured with a sniff and came down the stairs – considerably slower than his best friend.

"I didn't know you were here," Drake said as he got to his feet.

"He was helping me with my science project," Gosalyn explained.

Honker craned his neck to look out of the window. "Is Aunt Bea there?"

"I think so – that is her car, right?" the mallard queried as he walked the kids to the Muddlefoots' front door. Launchpad was in Duckburg, visiting his old boss – lucky bastard.

The young gosling gave the car a short look, then shrugged. "I suppose. She always comes in a different one – I think she deals in used cars or something."

"Really..." Drake muttered, frowning, but then he dismissed the oddity. He really had to stop thinking like a crime fighter every once in a while, and anyway, this was a Muddlefoot. No way that family had any dark secrets...

.* * *.

The barbecue was already in full swing when they entered the Muddlefoots' back yard. Herb fired up the grill, happily explaining the tricks of the trade to an uncharacteristically well-behaved Tank. Meanwhile his wife was amicably chatting with a female about her size who could only be cousin Bea.

"There's Drake," Binky chirped and walked up to the newcomers. When the other avian turned to face them the family resemblance became obvious. Her plumage was eerily similar in shape and coloring; although her beak was more duck-like in appearance. Her clothing, a black blouse with matching pants, made an odd contrast to Binky's hausfrau attire.

"Hi, Aunt Bea," Honker murmured and the slender duck squatted in front of the kid to shake his hand.

"How nice to see you again, Honker," she said with a thin smile. "Who's your friend?"

"That's Gosalyn. She and her Dad live next door."

"Hello, Gosalyn."She stood again, eying Drake with polite interest. "And you must be Mr Mallard, then. I heard quite a bit about you."

"Uh, call me Drake," he murmured uncomfortably.

"Bea."

Before either of them could say anything else, Binky put her arms around both their shoulders. "Oh, I'm sure we'll have a marvelous time together. You know, Bea, Drake is a single Dad." There was a not very subtle emphasis on 'single'.

"Is he now" her cousin muttered, while Drake felt a sudden panic rise. Being set up with a Muddlefoot was the last thing he needed.

"Yes. Hey, maybe I should help out in the kitchen," he suggested feebly, but Binky was having none of it.

"Don't be silly, Drake. You're a guest, you can just sit down and enjoy yourself."

"Hehe... Yes. Silly me," he sighed, defeated. It was going to be a very long barbecue.

At Binky's suggestion the kids were eating inside, probably melting their brains with some new video game. Drake still harbored the suspicion that his insufferably chipper neighbor was attempting to play matchmaker. Luckily her cousin seemed as unhappy about the idea as he was. She sat next to him, stiff-backed, and displayed a brittle smile that seemed to come straight out of the manual.

"So, Bea, how's work treating ya?" Herb asked as he served the hamburgers.

"Well enough. You know, same old," she replied vaguely. "How about you? That Quackerware still selling?"

"Certainly. Why, only today I talked to this bloke who wanted to buy twenty of the special gift sets. Gonna deliver tomorrow. Lucky stroke that was, heh heh..."

The duck gave that strained smile again. "Good for you." She paused and gave Drake a thoughtful look. The mallard did his best to shrink on his seat. "So I hear Honker and your daughter are friends?"

Drake relaxed slightly. This was safe territory. "Yes. It's, eheh, odd if you think about it, but I guess they complement each other."

She nodded slowly. "That's nice. From what Binky tells me, she's been very good for him."

Oddly pleased with the compliment the mallard grinned. "Well, I suppose their friendship has benefited both of them. Seeing the two together-" he hesitated. "To be honest, it was a relief."

It was true. Gosalyn was a very... spirited child and while he wouldn't have her any other way he had been worried that a masked vigilante might not be the healthiest influence for a child who had already been through so much. Seeing her befriend Honker Muddlefoot - gentle, well-behaved and with a brain to match that of Drake's quick-witted daughter – it had been a load off his mind.

The slender duck nodded understandingly but before she could say something Binky coughed. "We were a little worried at first, seeing that Gosalyn... you know, that she spent such a long time at the orphanage." Seeing Drake's expression darken she hastily added: "But once we got to know you two – and Launchpad, of course – why, we think you're the best neighbors we ever had."

Her words seemed heartfelt, just like Herb's enthusiastic nod, but Drake wasn't completely mollified. For starters, he hated those displays of affection from his neighbors – it made disliking them much harder. But even more so because he didn't like to discuss Gosalyn's past in front of strangers. In theory nobody knew who the granddaughter of Professor Waddlemeyer now lived with – the people from the orphanage had fully agreed with his wish for discretion in the matter. But he lived in the constant fear that somebody would figure out that Drake Mallard had adopted his daughter right after a girl with the same looks and first name had been saved by a certain crimefighter... And that this somebody would start to connect the dots.

"Well, given that you only recently adopted her she seems remarkably well-adjusted," Bea put in pleasantly. She paused for a second, just long enough for Drake to start hoping she wouldn't ask this innocent little question he dreaded. Of course he was disappointed. "If you don't mind me asking, how long has she lived with you?"

"Eh, it was around the time we moved in here," he muttered vaguely, but he was interrupted by Herb who reminded him once more why he really, really didn't like the Muddlefoots.

"That was about five months ago, wasn't it?" he said, oblivious to Drake's worries. Turning to Bea, he added: "Binky musta told ya, it was right after that realtor guy turned up."

Sensing an opportunity to direct the conversation away from him Drake coughed. "What realtor?" he queried carefully.

"Did I never tell you that story, Drakester?"

"Surprisingly enough, there is a story you never told me," he sighed.

"Oh, that was something," Herb explained. "A month or so before you guys moved in we had a visit from an estate agent who wanted to set up a huge mall, right here. Soon all the neighbors were selling, but ya know us, stick with what you have",

"So we told him we wouldn't sell," Binky put in and frowned a little. "He was very rude."

Considering this was Binky Muddlefoot talking - he had never heard her utter an unkind word about anyone - Drake suspected they had dealt with a regular property shark. "So what happened?" he asked, curious despite himself.

"One night both his office and his house burned down," Binky told him brightly. "Such a crazy coincidence, but there you are. Of course he went out of business afterwards and we never heard from him again."

Drake felt his beak hang open. That did explain why the house he had bought after adopting Gosalyn had been so cheap. He had always assumed it had something to do with the neighbors...

Closing his beak again he stole a glance at Bea who seemed to be amused. "That's how I looked when Binky told me the story," she told him with a conspiratory wink. "I suppose even realtors fall out sometimes."

"Bea, you have the most suspicious mind," Binky scolded her gently and her cousin gave a good-natured shrug.

"Perhaps you're right, Binky. Herb, would you hand me the sauce, please?"

Author's Note: And that was the first chapter. Of course reviews and advise on how to improve my writing are greatly appreciated. Also, I apologize for Darkwing's monologuing – it has to be in the story or it wouldn't be DWD, but I'm horrible at writing his speeches

And I still don't own any character that appears in the Darkwing Duck cartoon.