Author's Notes: A little Christmas themed piece of fluff for the holidays. For argument's sake just pretend like they have Christmas in TLR world. This hasn't been beta'ed, I wanted to get it out before finals week. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Square owns everything.

Music: Tearful Memories by Motoi Sakuraba. Somewhere in My Memory by John Williams. Cat and Mouse by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

When reading: Italics are thoughts and memories.

***

Am I supposed to be happy?

When all I ever wanted, it comes with a price.

You said, you said that you would die for me,

But you must live for me too.

-Red Jumpsuit Apparatus "Cat and Mouse"

Somewhere in My Memory

I

"Its suicide because, I'm a remnant too…right?"

David's eyes flew open. He remained still, his vision cloudy and unfocused from sleep, then realized he had fallen asleep at his desk. Rush's voice had rang clear in his mind and startled him awake, repeating those words that David heard in his head countless times a day; those words that had changed everything.

It had been seven months since Rush had sacrificed himself, and for David it never got easier. It seemed to become harder almost every day as he constantly found himself distracted with memories of the time spent with Rush, turning them over and over in his head as the pain in his chest grew so intense he felt at times as if he couldn't breathe. On the outside he may have seemed strong, but to those closest to him, his pain was evident in some way to them every day.

It's snowing… he realized as he gazed across the room and out the large windows opposite him. The first snow of the season was gently falling outside, snowflakes beginning to stick to the edges of the glass. David got up from his seat and crossed to the window, looking down upon a small courtyard within the castle. The area was mainly used to store barrels of water and wine, and served little other purpose than to just be a space between buildings. Almost a year ago, on a random snowy day not long after the destruction of Nagapur, he had come to this window and seen Rush below in the courtyard.

"Emmy! Heads up!"

Emmy, who had been passing by the courtyard underneath the overhang of a building, turned towards Rush's voice at exactly the right time, and was hit squarely in the face with a snowball. She gasped and began frantically wiping the snow off her face as Blocter and Rush's whooping laughter echoed among the surrounding buildings.

"You little bastards!" Emmy hollered back at them, promptly dropping the bundles of documents she had been carrying, and ran out into the courtyard, sending snow spraying around her as she went. Her laughter joined theirs in the crisp, early winter air as she bent over in the snow. Seconds later she'd gathered a snowball and sent it hurtling towards Rush, hitting him in the shoulder. Rush only stood and laughed, his head rolling backward as he grabbed his sides and his face turned red. Amidst his fit of laughter he failed to notice Blocter had gathered a snowball the size of a dining table and heaved it in his direction.

The small boulder of snow crashed down on Rush and knocked him off his feet, pushing him backwards and half burying him in snow. He only continued to laugh and look at Emmy and Blocter, the two generals roaring with laughter. Rush pulled himself to his feet ungracefully, brushing snow off his clothes as he did so, and then had suddenly turned and looked directly up at the window which David was watching from.

"Come down Dave!" Rush had yelled up at him, waving him down with his arm. David had smiled at the thought and had wanted to go down and join them, but found himself shaking his head side to side and waving Rush off in a dismissive manner. His years of being trained to be mature and composed responded for him. Rush's face fell, but instead of disappointment, David saw a sad understanding in his friend's features. David's smile disappeared; Rush's look made his heart falter, and their eyes remained locked for a few long, intense seconds. Finally Rush had given David a lopsided grin, and shrugged his shoulders before returning to the snowball fight.

Rush's look had haunted David's mind the rest of that day. The fact that there wasn't disappointment meant that Rush hadn't expected any chance that he would go down to join him. He had known the answer would be no, but had asked anyway. He had hoped that for just one time, the answer would be the unexpected.

Returning to the present, David reached out slowly and placed his fingertips against the glass. The snowball fight had been one of many instances where, looking back now, he hated the mask he felt forced to wear as Marquis of Athlum, as it didn't allow him to do everything he'd wanted to. Another had been taking a chance and telling Rush how much he cared for him, and how much he wanted him to stay in Athlum when everything was over. How he'd wanted them to stay together, regardless of the type of relationship he and Rush would have had.

Would you have stayed here, Rush? For me...With me?

He couldn't help but feel a familiar ache in his chest as he thought this. He'd missed so many chances that he could never have again. He subconsciously reached up and lightly touched the skin below his right eye. He'd never even get to thank Rush for saving him.

Regret was just as painful as grief.

He was brought out of his reverie suddenly by movement in the courtyard below. Two soldiers were running together across the area, towards the entrance of the castle. One of them was shouting something to the other and pointing off to the right, and the other soldier changed his direction to where the other had been pointing. David's brow creased as he watched the soldier enter the building to the right of his window. The medical unit…David mused. What's going on? A moment later the soldier emerged with three of the castle's resident physicians in tow. They all took off at a run, reaching the far side of the little courtyard in seconds and disappearing out of sight.

He continued to watch the courtyard, shifting side to side to scan for signs of anyone else. After a moment he saw Emmy running towards the door directly below his office. She disappeared and he could hear her yell something through the floor. He couldn't understand it, and was about to turn from the window when movement in the courtyard caught his eye. Pagus was now running off in the direction the physicians had gone.

David's focus was broken by the sound of his office door being thrown open. "My lord!" a voice cried urgently. David looked over his shoulder and found Emmy standing in the doorway, panting heavily. He had barely turned away from the window before she blurted out the reason for her intrusion.

"He's been found sir. Someone found him!" Emmy said, her eyes wide. There was no need to clarify who she was speaking of.

Rush…

Without a word David rounded his desk and marched out the door, Emmy squeezing aside so he could pass. She followed him down the hall. "An Athlumian citizen found him while crossing to Elysion-" she began, but he cut her off.

"How do you know it's him? Have you seen him?" David asked her harshly over his shoulder. David's strides were so long and so fast that Emmy was slightly jogging to keep up.

"No sir, I haven't seen him yet, but his face is the second most recognizable in the nation aside from yours," Emmy replied breathlessly.

After a few seconds he broke into a jog, flying down the stairs and rounding the corner to the entrance way. He threw himself against the door that led to the entrance area, flinging it open so harsh that it slammed against the wall it was mounted to.

The sight on the other side of the door caused David to stop in his tracks. Heading towards him en route to the medical unit, the three physicians he'd seen earlier were flanking a medical stretcher that was being levitated along between them. Two of the healers were deeply involved in casting spells over the body on the stretcher. The third was administering a vivification herb while speaking very quickly to the other two. Pagus was behind them, trying to keep up. David suddenly felt a light hand on his elbow gently pull him aside; he was so transfixed by the scene he was unknowingly blocking the door.

David's heart flew up into his throat as he saw his face, the familiar messy black hair being the first thing to catch his eye. But beyond that, Rush looked very little like the energetic, strong man he had been back when they'd face the Conqueror. In the few seconds glimpse that David caught of his face as they rushed by, he'd taken in all of his features and was shocked. Rush looked frail and weak, the skin on his face deathly pale. Beneath his eyes there were deep, dark circles, and his cheeks looked gaunt. He looked emaciated, as if he'd been left somewhere to die. David suddenly felt his heart back in his chest again, as it began to beat wildly in panic.

Following them inside, David felt as if he was moving in slow motion through the hallways towards the medical wing. Please... he thought. The memory of the physician using a vivification herb made him quicken his pace. When he reached the medical bay, Pagus suddenly stopped him at the door.

"Lord David…" he started. David moved to pass him without acknowledging him, but Pagus grabbed his wrist in a surprisingly strong grip. "Please, just let us work." Pagus said, his voice falling to almost a whisper as he peered up at his master with large, solemn eyes. David looked down at his general, who had not yet released his wrist, then back up behind him. He could see his castle's entire medical staff bustling around the room now, a grave urgency across their faces and in their voices.

"Is he…" David started, but his throat tightened and halted him from speaking further.

"It is too soon my Lord," Pagus stated gently. "We just don't know yet."

David looked down at Pagus, his mouth slightly open from a reply that had been lost on his lips. He lifted his eyes one last time to Rush, around whom physicians were swarming.

"Alright," David conceded, moving towards the nearest chair in the hallway. "I'll be right here."

He sank into the nearest chair and ran his fingers into his hair. Please… he thought. I can't lose him again…

It was a long, tense hour before one by one the medical staff cleared out of Rush's room, and finally Pagus emerged.

"Lord David?" he inquired. David practically leapt to his feet, drawing the attention of a few members of the staff.

"Can I see him?" were the first words to escape his lips. Pagus nodded slowly in reply.

"Alright everyone, clear out. Give Rush some quiet," Emmy said, shooing away the medical staff. They dispersed quickly, and Emmy tried unsuccessfully to catch David's eye as he passed her and stepped into the doorway of the room. "Call if you need anything, my lord." She saluted him slowly, and then disappeared around the corner.

It was a few long seconds before David had the courage to raise his eyes to his friend. "Oh…" he exhaled as his eyes fell upon Rush. He was laid in clean cotton sheets, and had been given a simple linen shirt to wear. His skin was so pale it was almost indistinguishable from the cotton, except for under his eyes; the circles under them were as dark as soot. David slowly rounded the bed, and pulled up the single chair that had been left in the room. He sat next to his friend, and very slowly reached out his hand. His fingers shook as he reached for him, scared that he wasn't real; that his fingers would drift right through the space where Rush should be.

When his fingertips finally connected with the back of Rush's hand, a ragged breath escaped his lips. "Rush…" he whispered, his face crumpling as he gripped Rush's hand and lowered his head onto the edge of the mattress. "Please…"

David stayed there, silent and unmoving, for over an hour before Pagus quietly entered the room. The Marquis lifted his head slowly, and watched as Pagus climbed a small stepstool next to the bed and performed another healing spell. They both watched Rush's face, hoping for a response. When there was none, Pagus slowly lowered himself down from the bed.

"What's wrong with him?" David asked, his voice shaking although he was willing it not to. Pagus turned to him and his old, wise eyes settled upon him.

"We are not sure yet my Lord. We have tried everything within our ability to revive him. We were fortunate enough to be able to stabilize him."

"Was he dead when he was brought in?"

Pagus was silent, considering how to answer. "Nevermind," David said before he had spoken. "I saw."

Pagus' face seemed to relax a bit, and after another moment he continued. "We have contacted the most skilled healers of Celapalais and Elysion. I suspect they should arrive within an hour or two." David nodded. He stared at Rush for another moment before speaking.

"Have the Sykes been notified?"

"Not yet, my Lord. We felt the need to find a secure way of notifying them. For security reasons, we are trying to keep the news of his reappearance quiet for now." Pagus replied.

"Send Emmy. Where is the man that brought him in?"

"With Torgal and Blocter, I believe…being questioned in the conference room."

David rose from his chair, and Pagus immediately stepped out of the path of the door and stood at attention. David turned to leave, but stopped himself, and turned back to his friend. He reached out and squeezed Rush's hand, not caring if he was openly affectionate in front of Pagus.

"Stay with him. And notify me of anything," David said quietly before exiting the room.

"Yes Lord David," Pagus replied, saluting as David exited the room. As he made his way down the hallway, he felt himself slowly recovering from the shock of Rush's return. What the hell happened to him? He wondered.

He entered the conference room too quickly to be announced by the guard at the door. As the man scrambled in behind David to announce his master, he was dismissed quickly before he had a chance. His generals saluted, and the civilian that had brought Rush in leapt to his feet and bowed deeply. Torgal and Blocter had been huddled in a corner opposite from where the man was sat alone at the large, 20 foot table.

David turned to address the civilian, who looked nervous. "You have my deepest gratitude," David said, pulling the mask back on.

"My Lord I – it was nothing – I mean…" the man stammered.

"There's no need," David said, raising his hand to stop him. Before the man had a chance to muster a reply, David motioned for his generals to follow him outside the room. Leaving the man alone, they closed the conference doors behind them, and David dismissed the guards on duty. When they were out of range of hearing them, David lowered his head towards his generals.

"What happened to him?"

Torgal replied spoke slowly and cautiously. "We are not sure yet, Lord David. This man found him amongst the mountains in the Ivory Peaks. He was unconscious and with no possessions when he was discovered."

David exhaled slowly at this. Rush had been exposed in the snowy terrain of the Ivory Peaks, a very inhospitable place to be stranded.

"Do we have any idea if he had been conscious at any point, or was he under the impression he'd been like that the whole time?"

Blocter spoke up. "He said that there was no sign of a camp or shelter. Looked like he had just been dumped there."

They were all quiet for a moment, none of them looking at each other as they all became lost in their own thoughts.

"Lord David," Torgal spoke up. "We need to discuss the security of the situation. If word reaches the other Lords before we tell them that the remnants may be returning-" But he was cut off.

"He's NOT a remnant." David growled through his teeth, trying to keep his voice down. Torgal looked taken aback. "He's a person. That's all now. There's no security matter here." David turned back towards the doors of the conference room and opened one of them.

"You may return home sir. I thank you again." He said before closing the door and turning back to Torgal and Blocter, who still looked slightly shocked.

"I've dispatched Emmy to tell the Sykes. Irina will confirm that Rush is no longer a remnant," he stated bluntly to them. Torgal drew up to his full height and crossed his arms while Bloctor kept his eyes on the floor. Their skepticism made David's confidence in his words lessen slightly. His shoulders slumped as he tried to swallow the knot in his throat before continuing.

"Look at the state he's in. Do you really think if he was still a remnant he'd be so…" His voice died off though. He couldn't stand to call Rush weak. He sighed deeply, his fingers tightening into fists. A voice in his mind kept insisting that Torgal was partially right.

"Send messengers to the Lords. Tell them he was found and tell them his condition. But nothing else," he finally said.

"My Lord, at this point, we know nothing else," Torgal replied quietly.

And David knew better than anyone how right he was.

II

The Sykes arrived two days later with Emmy. Marina and John were visibly shaken by the reappearance of their son, and Marina lost her composure completely when she finally saw him. She rushed to his bedside and laid her head on his chest, crying openly. John stood behind his wife, resting a reassuring hand on her back, and began to rub it in circles.

Irina came in the room a few seconds behind her parents, having stopped to receive a comforting hug from Emmy. When she entered the room, her face was relaxed and unreadable. When her eyes finally fell on her brother, a soft smile crossed her lips.

David was watching her intently through this, and his heart lifted when she smiled. "Miss Irina?" he inquired gently.

"I can't feel any remnant power," she said confidently. "What I always used to feel near him…it's gone."

David felt a wave a relief sweep through him. He left the room to give the Sykes privacy, but lingered in the hallway. He could hear Pagus in the entryway, speaking to the healers from Celapalais and Elysion that had been assisting in Rush's treatment since their arrival two days before.

"My Lord thanks you greatly for your assistance," he said. "If we see any changes, or should you think of something helpful, we'll keep in touch." David leaned against the wall as he listened to them make their departure from the castle. After a moment he heard Pagus' familiar footsteps coming closer, and when he rounded the corner he stopped to speak with him.

"We unfortunately have no previous cases to draw knowledge from," Pagus told him. "This situation is truly unique." David nodded. Pagus was quiet for a moment before beginning again. "However…"

David raised his head, eyeing his general. He'd known Pagus his whole life, and thoughts that began like that usually provided a silver lining to a dark situation. Pagus motioned for him to follow him out into the courtyard. After they exited the building, the qsiti resumed his thought.

"I didn't want the Sykes to overhear," Pagus explained.

"Go on."

"I believe that Rush's body may just be relearning how to function in a way. He lived many years as a mitra-remnant hybrid, and perhaps his body needs to learn to function without that power." David considered him a moment before responding.

"That seems a strangely simple explanation."

"Yes, my Lord, but the simplest explanations tend to be the right ones. He is in very stable condition now, as compared to two days ago. Perhaps with enough time, Rush will come back on his own."

David realized that with so much unknown, there was little point in trying to argue against it. Irina and Pagus had both just given him a glimmer of hope. It was enough for him to get by on.

"He is doing better though?"

"I would have to think so. He is in very bad shape, but I would take any improvement, no matter how small, as a good sign. He may not be awake David..." Pagus' break in formality caused David to look at him fully as he finished.

"…But he's still with us."

III

It had been almost two months since Rush had been brought to Athlum. After almost a month in critical care in the medical ward, he had begun to look better. Through persistent care the medical staff had managed to make him gain some weight, and color was beginning to return to his skin. The dark circles under his eyes remained visible though.

For David, the last two months seemed to stretch on forever. Every morning, the first thing he thought of when he awoke was that he wanted to go check on Rush. And the last thing he thought before he went to sleep was that he was afraid he might miss something if it happened. He had a hard time sleeping through the night, and was constantly exhausted. It was Emmy that finally suggested a solution to the problem.

"Why not have him moved to the suite he occupied when he was with us before?" She inquired. The suite Rush had occupied before was in the same hallway as David and his generals. This placed Rush three doors down the hall from David's rooms, and only a moments walk from his office. This moved him closer to the Skyes as well, as the rooms they were staying in for the time being were one floor below. The medical staff agreed that Rush's care could be continued in that location and Rush had been carefully moved the next day.

David found the change helpful, although those outside of him would have thought differently. He was able to fall asleep easier, and whenever he woke in the middle of the night, would simple pad down the hall in his bare feet, glance in on Rush, and then return to bed. He rarely spent time in Rush's room, he found it too hard to sit with his friend for very long while in his condition.

One night a few weeks after he was moved out of the medical unit, as David stood in the doorframe of Rush's room, a voice behind him startled him.

"Are you worried he's going to disappear again?" David wheeled around on his heels to find Emmy standing in the hallway, a robe wrapped over her pajamas and her hair a tangled mess.

"Did I wake you?" He asked her quickly, trying to assume his normal calm exterior. He was failing miserably.

"Obviously," she replied, a smile crossing her face. As she did so, she became the spitting image of her mother as David remembered her as a child. Lately he had found himself losing formality around Emmy, treating her more as a friend than his general. His shoulders relaxed, and he exhaled a breath that he didn't know he was holding.

"I just don't understand," David started, returning his eyes to Rush. "Why won't he wake?"

Emmy's brow furrowed at this, and she took a step forward, leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the doorframe from David. "It is odd," she agreed. "The medical staff is no longer treating him with the exception of feeding him. He looks very healthy, except for those circles."

David nodded. The dark circles under Rush's eyes appeared to have no improvement over the past months. They were dark against his skin which had always been somewhat light. They fell into a comfortable silence for a moment, when he suddenly saw Emmy's forehead crease.

"What?" he asked her quietly.

"Well," she began, her voice unsure. "Do you ever remember Rush sleeping?"

David's immediate reaction was to think the question ridiculous. But then a memory flashed before his eyes.

"Ah, I thought he'd never let me go," David said to Rush, entering his room and tossing him an apple. "Couldn't sleep?"

Rush had ignored his question. And thinking back, Rush had never seemed tired, even after a long series of battles or whole days of travelling. Rush would retire to his room every night, but that didn't mean he slept while he was there. David raised his eyes to meet Emmy's once more. "No, I can't."

"Me neither. I'm not saying it has anything to do with his condition, its most likely just grasping at straws. But when people don't sleep for long periods of time…" she trailed off.

"They look like that," David finished the thought. He turned his gaze back to Rush as they fell into silence again.

"Well, get some sleep my Lord. Tomorrow is going to be busy," Emmy said quietly, bowing her head.

"Tomorrow?" David asked. His agenda for the next day was the last thing on his mind.

"Christmas preparations begin tomorrow," Emmy replied. David's brow furrowed. Christmas? He thought. Already? He grappled in his head for the date. Had it been that long already? Was it really so late in the year?

When he looked back Emmy was already gone. He heard the soft click of the door to her quarters closing down the hall. The conversation that had just occurred turned over in his mind. Could it be that simple? Rush just needed to rest?

"I hope you're right, Emmy," David whispered quietly into the empty hallway.

He wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, but a few seconds later David found himself standing next to Rush's bed, looking down upon his friend. He stood there for a long time, his eyes fixed on Rush and not looking away. He hadn't spent this much time with him since the day he was brought in. Now he found he couldn't move away, he could only listen to the sound of his own breathing.

In the year Rush spent in Athlum, he had become particularly important to David. This younger boy that had quite literally fallen into his life had turned it on its head, and David had never thanked him for it. That day on the Yamarn Plains that seemed so long ago, he had been surrendered to the life of the Marquis; always proper, respectable, and bound by duty. He remembered standing on the battlefield, in that moment before beginning the Gae Bolg's ignition sequence; he'd never felt so empty.

Rush had changed that. He had reminded David that although he was the Marquis, he was still David as well. He was not just the title. He was still himself. Rush had led him down the path of winning Athlum's independence and also defying the God Emperor to save the world and all its people. And to lose him at the end of it all had hurt more than David had ever anticipated. He could not stop the tears that flowed from his eyes as he watched Rush's final moment; as he watched a dream shatter.

And now, almost a year after that day, to be standing over Rush as he lay unconscious, David began for the first time to believe in destiny. Something inside him gave him the reassurance that Rush would awaken, that he was meant to be here, and David blindly accepted it; that after all they had been through, they didn't come all this way for nothing.

A long time later, David finally slowly reached out his hand and brushed a few stray hairs away from Rush's forehead as he lowered his head.

"Things will be different this time," he whispered softly, pressing a small kiss to his forehead.

IV

A few days before Christmas, the Sykes decided to return to Eulam for the holiday.

"John's parents would like to see us, especially Irina, but its just-" Marina had tried to explain to David. He'd held up a hand to stop her from voicing the concern.

"There's no need, Rush will be well looked after, I assure you," he'd told her. He watched as her eyes began to glisten with tears that threatened to fall at any second.

"You've just done so much already, I don't want you to feel burdened-" she began to explain, her voice shaking slightly.

"Marina," he interrupted, causing her to fall silent. "After what he did for us, for me," he started, subconsciously reaching up to his right cheekbone and pausing to consider his words carefully. "It is an honor to care for him."

Marina, who had been listening to him with her mouth slightly ajar, now nodded slowly as the tears in her eyes finally spilled down her cheeks. Then to David's surprise she stepped forward and enveloped him in a tight hug.

"You are wonderful," she muttered into his shoulder. Recovering slowly from shock he raised a hand up and patted her shoulder gently. Although he wanted to say something, a knot had risen in his throat, preventing him from doing so. He bit his lip as his heart began to throb loudly in his ears. He could not recall the last time he had received a hug.

A heartbeat later he realized that his words could have been taken a different way than originally intended, but he also accepted that either interpretation was accurate.

Marina pulled away first, placing her hands on his shoulders as she looked him in the eye. She did not care to wipe her tears away. "He'll be so happy to see you," she said, a smile crossing her face. Before he could reply she had turned towards the door and made her way out. David was left with his mind strangely blank as he sank into an armchair near the fire.

As the sun rose the next day, David finished a morning briefing with Torgal and then excused himself so that he may go see the Sykes off on their trip home. As he passed Rush's room, a dim blue glow appeared in his peripheral vision. He stopped and entered the room, and was surprised to find Irina at her brother's bedside.

"Miss Irina?" He inquired, stepping into the doorframe.

"Oh!" she yelped, taken by surprise.

"I apologize," he said, smiling at her. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"Oh it's alright!" she replied quickly. "I was just leaving-"

"No, there's no rush," David replied, motioning for her to sit back down. She looked up at David, his last words hanging in the air, before a smile spread across her face.

"No need to rush?" She asked.

"To be rushed away," he replied, glancing down at his friend.

"The Christmas rush?" she said uncertainly before finally dissolving into giggles. His laughter joined hers immediately and quickly filled the quiet room. After a moment they finally began to quiet down and catch their breath.

"You know," she said, rising again from her chair and gathering her things to leave. "Christmas was always Rush's favorite." She squeezed her brother's hand before turning towards the door. "I was really hoping he'd be awake for it."

"If there is the slightest change, I promise I will dispatch a messenger to your doorstep," David told her as she moved past him and to the door.

"I more meant for you," she said so quietly he almost missed it. His eyes flew to hers as she stopped just outside the threshold to look back at him. They remained silent for a long moment.

"Merry Christmas," she finally said, bowing her head slightly.

"Merry Christmas Irina."

V

A light snow fell on Athlum on Christmas Eve. Torgal had worked tirelessly over the past week to attempt to put Dave ahead of schedule in his affairs in an attempt to give the Marquis as much time off for the holiday as he could. They had completed what was necessary in the early afternoon, and now were settling into the castle for a few days of relaxation. The castle staff had been thinned to a minimum, and a peaceful quiet settled in the halls.

David found himself in lighter spirits after his encounters with Marina and her daughter a few days earlier. He considered this as he wondered through the corridors of the castle. It seemed that they had long accepted that Rush would awaken, and had held hope for it without giving it a second thought. While David was being cautious they had put their faith in it from the beginning. Only recently had he started to believe that as well, but he knew in the recesses of his mind that it was a blind faith.

But being able to just dream about that day coming was making him happier than he'd been in months.

"My Lord," a voice broke into his thoughts.

"Yes Torgal?" he replied, turning around.

"The four of us have gathered in Emmy's quarters due to the holiday," Torgal began. David could not help but raise an eyebrow.

"Are you saying you are partaking in a party Torgal? You?" he asked, his voice teasing. He watched as Torgal's ears slanted backwards and the general broke eye contact.

"Yes, I suppose that is a way to describe it. Bloctor in particular would like you to join." Torgal finished quickly, his eyes darting back to David's.

"Alright," he replied, and fell into step next to the sovani as they headed towards Emmy's. Suddenly a smell reached David's nose.

"Torgal, have you been…drinking?" David asked incredulously.

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about," Torgal replied quickly. Just a quickly, his words were followed by a small hiccup. David burst into laughter that echoed through the corridor.

"Well I guess it's a night of firsts," the Marquis commented after his laughter had died off. "Torgal the fearsome, letting loose, who'd have thought…"

Torgal snorted through his nose as a smile crossed his face. "Emmy tried to get Pagus to dance with her about an hour ago."

"No!" David exclaimed in surprise. "Did he?"

Torgal chuckled before replying. "Although he denies it, we all saw him do a bit of a wiggle from his chair."

"I see," David replied. "Could you reenact this 'wiggle' for me?"

"There are limits to my service, my Lord," Torgal replied curtly. Their eyes met as they both burst into laughter.

They entered Emmy's room a moment later. The three generals were gathered around a table near the fireplace, playing cards. Glasses of an opaque, pale yellow liquid were scattered across the table.

"Young master!" Bloctor exclaimed as he was the first to notice his presence. Emmy and Pagus both turned towards him. Emmy beamed brightly at him, and Pagus smiled until his eyes became only narrow slits.

"Merry Christmas everyone," David said finally, for some reason suddenly uncomfortable having everyone's eyes on him.

"Merry Christmas!" They returned, raising their glasses. Torgal reappeared next to David with a glass for him as well as his own. The generals and their Marquis clinked glasses in a toast as David and Torgal took seats at the table.

"What exactly is this?" David asked, examining the contents of the glass.

"It's a drink I found once while travelling before I returned to Athlum," Emmy replied. "I can't remember the name though, 'something-nog' I think."

"Probably can't remember because you'd had a few too many of them," Bloctor muttered. Emmy swatted at the yama's arm as the table erupted into laughter.

A few hours later, after playing cards, storytelling and reminiscing, David found himself unable to stifle a yawn. The others had restarted a game of cards, but he had settled into a comfortable silence in his chair.

"I believe I shall retire for the evening," he said, rising from his seat. They all bid goodnight to him, and as he made his way to the door he paused at the threshold.

"By the way," he said, his voice with an edge of seriousness. They all looked up at him, waiting.

"I can see that ace behind your back, Torgal."

The sovani's eyes, normally narrow, widened in horror.

"Torgal!" Emmy screeched, leaning over and making an attempt to swipe the ace out of the hand that Torgal had been resting behind his hip. "Hand that over!" Bloctor and Pagus burst out laughing, and David could not help but smile at the scene before him.

Although sad to leave the party, David turned and entered the hallway. As exhausted as he was, there was one last person to wish a Merry Christmas to, even if he couldn't hear him. David sighed tiredly before moving toward Rush's room.

On the way there, he couldn't help but smile to himself. Tonight had been the first time in almost a year that he had let his guard down, and he had enjoyed the company of his generals. He was reminded that they were more than just his advisors and leaders. They were his loyal and caring friends as well. He knew he had neglected them over the past three months, waiting for Rush to awaken. Although he wanted nothing more than for his friend to wake up, he thought that maybe this evening was a blessing in disguise. For just a few short hours, he had just let go. Yes, he would wait for Rush as long as he needed to, but he had been able to enjoy life again.

"I will wait, happily." He whispered to the empty hallway just before stepping into Rush's room.

The last thing he expected to see was Rush standing at the window.

VI

David froze on the spot. He had imagined a million times what he would do if he ever saw Rush again, but now he found himself unable to move or speak. He could only stare, unblinking at the back of Rush's head. Rush was looking out the window, watching as snow slowly fell outside. David's eyes travelled to the window as well, and his heart skipped a beat as he saw Rush's reflection in the glass. Rush's face was lighted dimly by the ground light of the city below the window, and his face was peaceful. A soft smile was on his lips, and his eyes were exactly as David remembered them; bright and alive. He watched as those eyes rose and refocused to the reflection of David in the doorway, and their eyes met. They stood, seemingly frozen in time, for only seconds that felt like hours. And then…

"Rush," David sighed, releasing a breath he did not know he was holding. Rush turned on his heels and opened his arms. David collided with him and threw his arms around him, gripping him tightly. He pressed Rush against him, believing more and more with each second that his friend was actually here with him. He buried his face in Rush's shoulder, breathing in deeply.

"Hey Dave," Rush whispered. He felt David shutter at the sound of his voice as he lifted his hands to the Marquis's face. He held it gently as he pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I'm so sorry."

David shook his head from side to side as tears began to run down his cheeks. He tried to see through eyes blurred with tears as Rush lifted his head a bit further, and breathed in sharply as their lips brushed together.

"I had to," Rush added quietly, his breath caressing David's face.

"I know," David whispered before pulling Rush back into his arms. Over his shoulder he could see out the window and into the square where the Valeria Heart once stood. He closed his eyes and mouthed a silent 'thank you,' before reaching up to pull Rush's lips back to his own.

In the hallway, Emmy turned slowly away from Rush's door and tiptoed back to her own. The other generals looked up at her expectantly, and the broad smile on her face answered for her. Their smiles soon matched her own.

"Should we have Pagus examine him? To make sure he's alright?" Torgal asked the others as Emmy resumed her spot at the table.

"I think we can hold off a bit and give them some time," Pagus replied, his fingers tapping his chin thoughtfully.

"But don't you think-" Torgal began, but was suddenly cut off as Bloctor threw his arms around him.

"Aww I'm so happy for them!" the yama exclaimed as he gripped Torgal tighter. Torgal stiffened and rolled his eyes toward the ceiling as Pagus chuckled quietly at his predicament.

"Yes, we all are," Torgal replied, relaxing slightly and patting one of the massive arms encircling him. When Bloctor finally released him, Torgal felt an elbow poke into his side. He turned to see Emmy staring at him, looking as delighted as a child on Christmas morning. He could not help but return the smile in full.

Author's End Note: Mmm…fuzzies. Merry Christmas everyone! Maybe others will write a little Christmas story of their own soon. *cough cough nudge nudge* I hope you enjoyed it! Would love to see reviews of what you guys think!