Aftermath

"You know Gaz, this whole thing has got me thinking."

Gaz didn't turn away from the bleeping screen of her Gameslave 2, but she grunted enough to indicate that her older brother could talk for a little while without fear of sudden grievous bodily harm.

"I mean, no two people like the exact same things, everyone has different tastes. We shouldn't let that distract us from the important things in life. I mean, I am trying to save the whole world from a hostile alien life-form, and that does include all the Twilight fans."

She picked up an extra life and upgraded her nail cannon. Behind her she heard movement, and Dib's voice came a little louder.

"And if someone were to look at it, without all the proper information of course, they might even say that I had more in common with, with Zim than with, say, you. What I'm trying to say is, it's not what books you read or what movies you watch that make you a good or bad or smart or stupid person, it's whether or not you want to destroy the planet and enslave the population."

The last waves of the zombie piggies fell, and Gaz smiled. Now she had a clear path straight to the final boss.

"And maybe at the end of the day I should just let people have their fun and not be a jerk to them. After all, the haters always whine about how the fans define their identity by the series, but if all you do is moan about that series, aren't you defining yourself by it, too?"

The pixelated foe crumbled into dust, and she signed her name on the scoreboard. G-A-Z. She only ever had to play a game once.

"Uh, Gaz...?"

"What?"

"So... can I come out of the dumpster now?"

*

A superior alien intellect can accomplish a lot in a short space of time. Zim placed the remote carefully on the armrest, and arranged the books opposite.

He held the pitiful human writing tool in one hand, and straightened the page of the notebook.

"Alright GIR, let us begin."

*

Dib wouldn't have seen the thing if he hadn't been trying so hard to avoid that creepy shop assistant who kept trying to steal his coat.

It was obviously not part of the shop's stock. It was wedged haphazardly between two bloated biology textbooks. It was made of scraps of paper stapled together. And, of course, it was labelled:

ZIMs amAzing LOVE story with spoOoky creatures

by ZIM

*

He'd asked dad not to call unless it was an emergency. He'd fetched a supply of food and water to last hours if necessary. He'd checked to immediate vicinity for any sign of Gaz. Twice. Finally Dib barricaded himself in his room, sat at his desk, and went to turn the first page.

With his longest tongs, while wearing gloves and a surgical mask, naturally.

He started to read:

On a Tiny stoopid plnet called EARTH there was a hyumun called

called Mella

mella DUCK

and she was a NORMAL HYUMUN. LOTS of people r PERFECTLY NORMAL and there is NOTHING suspicious abot them at all.

NORMAL.

nd she went to skool one day because that is NORMAL and she is also

well you know.

And she saw another hyumun but h was not a hyumun realy but you dont no that yet so forget it but he is not normal and that s importnt. But forget that.

And mella looked at him and then sommore because he was AMAZING and butiful and and strong and sha was thinking all wow He is great and great and she fell in LOVE with him just thn because he was so AMAZING and he was called ZIM (no relation)

and she said ZIM (no relation) i LOVE u u are just perfect you would be the best one to lead all the hyumuns becus yr so wondrfl

nd ZIM (no relation) said yes I would and he was right

nd he savd her from a angry trck and told her al things which r good words for LOVE and then they went to the woods and they talked and mella was happy and then she saw that he had skin all shiny and

GREEN

nd he sed to her this s th skin of a RULER OF ALL HYUMNITY

nd she sed yes

(he is clld ZIM and I am ZIMalso but the diffrence is I AM ZIM and I am nrmalhyumun wormbaby and this ZIM in ths story is AMAZING and he shud RULE YOU ALL nd iam not him but if u do see a GREEN person caled ZIM who does not look nrmL u shud submit to his mitey FIST. )

and then it ws bad becas mella ws attacked by a horrible person who was stUpid and mean and hideous n h was a JERK

and he was cld DIB

but ZIM fites him and

DIB IS NO MATCH FOR ZIM ZIM WILL TRIUMPH FEAR ZIM ZIM WILL RULE YOU ALL AS YOUR MASTER AND DIB IS A LOSER

and ZIM won and it was good and romntic

thE End

Dib blinked. Then shivered and dropped the 'book' into his already stuffed Zim file. Somehow, he didn't think that this particular plan warranted any further investigation. He went downstairs to eat some toast.

When Zim conquered the Earth three days later he was very, very annoyed.

The End