"Where the fuck is he?"

I've only now just realized I've said that out loud after the tenth time of repeating it in my head. Guess there wasn't enough room for that angry thought, cuz many others were swirling around in my head until it feels like it's goingtofuckingexplode but I can't leave yet. Not yet.

Cuz Riku said... Riku said... Riku said...

My mind lags and I momentarily forget my next train of thought cuz some other thoughts are starting to cut through it, leaving it broken and unfinished. I wish that my many thoughts would sometimes(always) just go away for fivefickingseconds so I could for once think straight and-... and....

"How long am I going to have to wait for this fucking redhead to get here?!?!"

"Hey, hey, hey! I don't like going by 'redhead', y'know? I have a name-"

"You... you're the guy that Riku was... was... uhmm..." Woah, what were those things under his eyes? Were they tattoos or what? That looks like it would hurt. Like, alot.

"You okay there blondie?"

I don't know if I nodded or shook my head or if I didn't reply at all, but he just shrugged and said, "Yeah, I'm the guy Riku was talking about, I guess. He said he had a friend that would be willing to give me bigs bucks for some treats. You him?"

I blinked. How did he get his hair like that? It's like all...pointy and-

"Yeah I'm him. You got the, uh, treats?"

The redhead pulled a bag out of his pocket, and shined it in the dim streetlight, smirking. Is he fucking insane?

"Hey! Don't just... pull it all out! Someone's gonna see!"

I looked around, my eyes going even wider than before.

"Don't worry about it blondie. We're in 'nowhere'ville and we're in an alley. Everything's A-okay."

No not everythings A-okay. Everythings fucked up for me and even if your life is oh-so-perfect that doesn't mean I-

"So what's your name, blondie?" He stepped closer, coming about five feet away from me, his eyes sizing me up.

Why the hell should he care? It's not like we're gonna be doing this alot cuz I'm not a druggie. Never have I been one and never will I be one. I only do this occassionaly. Yeah, that's it. So I have no reason to give him my-

"Roxas. Yours?"

"Cute name, Roxy. The names Axel. A-X-E-L. Got it memorized?"

Axel. Hmm, strange name. And where the-

"-Hell did Roxy come from?"

He only chuckled at me. My anger welled-up and I glared at him. That sonofabitch doesn't know when to keep those lips of his-

Is his bottom lip larger than his upper lip? Is that supposed to be normal? Nah, I think... I think...

When is this dude gonna give me the drugs and just leave. Did he get closer?

"Roxy stop spacing out. You're starting to scare me." He smirked as he said this but I knew he wasn't completely joking. Everybody I've ever met in the past few months had been worried-slash-frightened from my behavior. But that doesn't make sense because I haven't changed at all cuz I've only done drugs a few dozen times so I-

"Here. This should cover it." I take out my wallet and pull out three months' worth of work. I won't be able pay rent(again) but I'm sure Sora wont mind. We're brothers after all, right? And he understands that I have needs just like everybody else and I really need this, god please I need this-

"Ohoho Riku wasn't lying whe he said you'd pay a hefty price. The drugs got you bound, right?"

Hahahaha. If I could I would laugh outside my head but I can't remember even how to smile so I settle for shrugging and we exchange the items. His fingers brush mine and I shiver but it's only because of the night air and-

Why the hell hasn't he started walking away yet? I really want to be alone for a moment so I can try and sort my thoughts before I get into my car so I don't wreck like last time and kill a by-stander-

"Uhm, thanks. Bye."

I turn around and face the brick wall and I probably look like a mentally retarded kid but I'm trying to emphasize my-

Emphasize is such a strange word. Em-phuh-sssssize...

The tall man's arms are suddenly wrapped around me and his chest is pressing against mine and he's smells of sex and smoke but-

"Hehehe, I don't wanna leave you just yet, Roxy. This may be the last time I'll see you."

And we both know his words are far from the truth. I mean... mean... mean...?

His hand is already down my pants and I gasp and writhe against him. My mind is suddenly swimming with pleasure and I realize that apparently I've been hard since I laid my eyes on him, which doesn't make sense because I'm not attracted to this man at all-

"Ah!..Mm, ohh..."

Oh god please moremoremore I need this... oh god I need this....

His gloved hand is warm and big and puts just enough pressure onto my cock and I'm seeing stars now and it feels like it's been an eternity since he started and now he's whispering dirty things in my ear ("Cum for me Roxy, Cum...") and I shoot my load into his hand and...

My thoughts are clear for once. Not all wrapped and twisted and jumbled like usually. And finally, finally, I can focus on one thought.

"Axel...!"

God I needed that.

A/N: Blah blah I'm in an angsty mood. Well, not really :/ I just had the inspirational line, "He smells of sex and smoke but it's alright because..." And I got to use most of the line so I'm happy now. But I'm not happy with the story. It seems like I can't capture the psyco-ness of a person. I've read many good fanfics that have captured the thoughts of a true druggie/insane person, though, and yet I still can't get it right. -sigh-