Inspired by Piss me off and Die by Blumarshin /fanfic/view_/87839

Hellsing Goes American

Summary: 5 years after the anime- All of the Hellsings have been assassinated, Alucard was released just before the last one was killed, Walter saves the day by finding one remaining realitive.. or did he just seal their fates? Even Alucard is freaked out by her! How will England survive THIS one? And which is worse: Freaks running rampid or a psycho in command of the Hellsing army? Rated for language, violence, and pure insanity! A/OC

Author's note: No, we do not own anything... just a purse full of chocolate.. TOUCH IT AND DIE!!!!!!!

AN2: Re worked! We have added a bit more to it so hopefully it'll make a bit more sense... This really is my favorite chapter though! So dark *drools*

Chapter 1- Hellsings' Dropping Like Flies

Integra had been shipped off to prison after haveing sealed Alucard away again not long after Cognetos' demise.. Things were just begining to settle down with the new head of the Hellsing Organization, a cousin of Integra's, when Walter walked into the office with a somber look just three years later.

He stopped infront of the desk with his head hung low, "We have just received word that Sir Integra was found early this morning..." He took a shaky breath to calm himself. "Decapitated.... and displayed in the court with her head atop the flag pole..." his voice cracked slightly at the last few words as he tried to hold back his tears. He had known her sense she was a baby, and now..

He looked up after a moment when there was no response. "Sir?" Stepping around the desk, he hesatently reached a hand out and turned the chair around. "Sir?" Sir Henry Hellsing gave a big snore, waking himself up. "W-Wha? Somethi-" He covered his mouth as he began coughing - no, more like hacking up a lung.

Thinking he had mearly choked on his drool again, Walter gave him a few stern pats on the back just before he began spewing blood all over the desk, drenching the stacks of paperwork. Walters' eyes just about popped out of his skull as he froze in terror and Sir Hellsings' head slamed into the desk, splashing the blood from the desk onto Walters crisp white shirt.

"I just can't believe this.." "They're dropping like bloody flies.." "Five Hellsing heirs murdered in one year... My God.." "What the bloody hell is going on?" "Who do you think will be next?" Murmurs floated around a group dressed in black as they slowly walked through a cemetary, huddleing in pairs under black umbrellas in the dreary drizzle. Only one figure remained at the latest grave, head hung low, letting the rain wash over him in hopes it would wash away the pain and sorrow.

First Sir Integra, her head displayed atop the prison flag pole, then her cousin, Sir Henry, poisoned. Next in line to be head of the Hellsing Organization, and the next on the murderers' list, Lady Cinclaire, another cousin of Sir Integra's, dismembered and sewn back together like a cloth doll and displayed on the drive just infront of the Hellsing Mannor in her favorite rocking chair and a frilly, child-like dress with a child's book and teddy-bear in her arms.

Lady Casandra was next to join her ancesters, the freezer painted red in her blood as she hung from a meat hook in her jaw like a fish, followed by Mr James Hennington, a second-cousin, found in his Farari, his eyes, toung, and heart in the passengers' seat. Walter closed his eyes, trying to make the immages dissapear from his minds' eye. Things were not looking good, there were only a few heirs left and to top it off, freaks were begining to resurface.

Not but three months after Mr Hennington's death, Walter found himself delivering the day's mail to the new.... kid... All that were left were mere children! It was absurd!

Walter sighed in resignation before walking into the office. He expected there to be a mess, but not like this. Toys scattered all around the room along with all the paperwork, and there in the middle of it all was the young James Welsh, sitting with his back to the doors, playing with a toy plane.

Walter was just about to turn and leave when a cold chill ran down his spine. What met his eyes when he turned back to the child would haunt him for the rest of eternity, he was positive, even in Heaven, that the image would still be there to torment him.

Little James, only eight years old, had fallen to lay on his back, the skin of his face completely ripped off along with the front of his torso so one could see inside his ribcage, all the organs were gone. No blood, no mess, just the corps staring at him with green eyes that would never shine with life again, his toy plane still clutched in his hand.

Luckily, Jenny Welsh, James's little sister by one hour, was quite wise and managed to stay alive for seven months. She thanked God for every day she woke to see the sun rise again and decided that something drastic needed to be done after she barely escaped an attempt on her life. Had she not dropped that book and bent down to get it, she would have had her head blown right off her shoulders.

She and Walter talked all day about the situation and what their options were, she finally decided and convinced Walter that it was time to wake up 'The Monster In The Basement' that she had heard so many spooky stories about from her twin brother.

Walter had to hold her hand the entire time and calm her down every time there was a noise, be it a rat or just some water dripping from a broken pipe somewhere, to her it was the monsters hiding in the shadows or the angry ghosts of past residents.

Walter was releived once he saw Alucard, just sitting there like he had been waiting for them, still wide awake. But the moment Jenny saw him she began gasping for air, quickly turning blue and passing out from lack of oxigen. Needless to say, no matter how fast Walter and Alucard acted, they couldn't have saved her.

"This is just great! Bloody fantastic!" Alucard jumped, startled by Walter's outburst. "They're all dead. Every last one of them..." He slid to the floor, his head in his hands, as the drama of the past two years was finally getting to him.

Alucard just watched, completely confused as Walter mumbled to himself, his words so jumbled, even Alucard couldn't catch but a couple of words... Something about the Hellsing family, someone being killed, and a child holding something.... He guessed.

After a couple of minutes he pulled himself back together and told Alucard all that had happend sense he was locked away. After all the information had been given, he ran. Fast. Alucard was beyond pissed and he wanted to stay in one piece as long as possible.

Alucard sat in his cell brooding after Walter left for safety. It was rare to find a human with such common sense.. He looked at the seals adorning his gloves. There's at least one left. That's what pissed him off. That he was so close to being free from this miserable family and they don't know where the last one is.

He picked up the Hellsing child that had released him and, in a fit of rage, tore her small head off and threw it down the hallway. He laughed as he heard it bounce and splat and roll down the long stone corrador.

He knew why the old buttler was so upset about there not being any Hellsing left. He was afraid. Afraid of the day that Alucard would be free.

He shighed, thinking of that glorious day when he could go out and play again for as long as he wanted without some pathetic human trying to keep him on a leash.

The day that he could finally drink as much as he wanted. And not that medical crap either, but fresh, warm blood. The few times Integra had allowed him to have a fresh meal, it wasn't but one small person, not nearly enough to quench his thirst.

He was so tempted to tell her to try going for years on end with only two small bags of water a day, three if Police Girl decided to be stupid and not drink. Although he would never tell anyone when he would get that extra 'treat' as then the bitch would get mad and shoot him, then take his daily allowance of blood down to just one bag and make sure he wasn't able to get a hold of that extra one from his fledgling.

How fitting, that the bitch ended up as the prison's flag-pole decoration. She always did think she was oh so high and mighty. Well, now she has the perfect perch to look down on everyone else.

He gave a small snort of laughter, thinking about how the old buttler had described all of the Hellsing murders. Someone had a good sense of humor and some decent imagination. He would have to find whomever was responsible for this and congradulate them on their work.

He looked down at the child's body as it lie lifeless next to his feet. Her blood smelled terible. It must have been a rush job, dumping a large amount of poison into her food or drink most likely when they found out she was planning to release him.

He jabbed it in the ribs a few times with the toe of his boot before deciding the smell was annoying him too much and left to find a snack.

Police Girl was never put away so they should still be stocked up on medical blood. Oh, to hell with it! He was going to have some fun and go out to eat! It wasn't every day that you are released from a five year 'nap' to have your supposed 'master' die before giving even a single order.

AN: Ok! Wha'd ya think? I suppose it's kind of obvious we don't like Integra.. She's such a bitch.. And the story lightens up from here, this was just an overview of what's happend sense the anime ended.

Alucard: "So, Mexican or Chinese?"

Cat: "What?"

Alucard: "You said we were going out to eat." points to the end of the chapter "So, Mexican or Chinese? I'm tired of Italian."

Cat: "Um... How about Japanese? There's a great Japanese steakhouse/sushi bar not far from here!"

Alucard: "Is it a pretty buisy place?"

Cat: "Yea, why?.... You'd better not eat ANY of the staff! Not even one waitress or busboy, got it?"

Alucard: "Ok.." gives Cat a sad look - then smiles before running off "I get to drive!"

Victoria: "OH GOD NO!" races off to try and stop him

Cat: Laughs before noticeing which car they're getting in "OH HELL NO! YOU GET YOUR ASS AWAY FROM MY CAR!!!"