Sasukec: Welcome to a random Eragon parody of awesomeness!! xD From some demand, I decided I would go ahead and really try to finish this since it's too stupid to leave it open ended. It'll be easy to finish seeing as everything's already laid out for me, I just gotta find points to make fun of.
Wait... That's the definition of a parody... Anyway... Er... Just enjoy xD
Brom: Once, in a land called Alagaesia, the land flourished with many a dragons and their ever so awesome and mighty riders! Long story short, they died out because of Galbatorix, a bad guy who wanted to control all life as we know it, blah blah blah, onto Eragon! A boy of 15! GO!
Eragon: Woo! Huntin' time! -Grabs bow and goes to awesomely hunt-
(A little ways away from Eragon's current position, Arya and two elves are riding into the mysterious fog covered night carrying a stone... Of awesomeness!)
Arya: Quick we must be for the shade Durza is approaching on our heels! Without mercy he will smite us and force us to do unimaginable things with his Urgal army!
Elf 1: His Urgal army? Where in the hell does the book state that?!
Eragon Movie Script Writer: No where! I awesomely made it up!
Elf 1: You have no rights!
Eragon Movie Script Writer: I SO DO! WATCH ME ASSERT MY RIGHTS... Of awesomeness! -Gets rid of Elf 1's part completely; laughs manically at pointless accomplishment-
Arya: Oh no, Durza!
Durza: Give me the stone and then you will die!
Arya: Wait... Don't you mean live?
Durza: No...
Arya: Oh... -Pulls out stone of blue awesomeness- IONF'IREUFNIU'B-WERF!!! -Giant flash of bright light appears, stone disappears-
Durza: BETCH! -Slaps a hoe-
(Meanwhile, Eragon attempts at shooting deer for the third time when a bright flash...of awesomeness! … appears then revealing a stone)
Eragon: HOLY SHIZNETS!! A STONE!! -Walks to the stone, then picks it up inspecting it with pure curiosity... Of awesomeness!- Wow!! A sapphire stone! I wonder how it got here... Maybe an elf woman named Arya transported it here by magic and it happened to appear by me and it will be my baby dragon and I will go on adventures with this dragon whom will come with the name Saphira and Murtagh will be my half brother whoever that is! Naaahhh... I'll just sell it for some money! -Frolics off happily back to Carvahall...Of awesomeness!-
(Meanwhile, back with Arya and Durza...)
Durza: SHIT! He discovered the plot line already!
Arya: So, do we still continue?
Durza: Of course! -Slaps another hoe- We continue! -Uses magic to hold Arya down-
Arya: Tell your king you've failed! Hahahaha! -Faints-
Durza: BETCH!! -Slaps a hoe-
(Meanwhile in Carvahall...)
Eragon: Roran! Uncle! Looky at what I found! A stone which is really a dragon's egg!
Eragon Movie Script Writer: No! Don't tell them! It's prohibited! -Throws a rock at Eragon's face; Lands the hit-
Eragon: -Gets hit and dies-
Eragon Movie Script Writer: Shit! Ed Speleers died! Call in the look-a-like!
-Mark Hamill appears; Takes on the role of Eragon; Dramatic music plays-
Roran: You said something about a stone that is really a dragon egg? You mean the egg that will bring the Ra'zac to our village and end up driving us all out of our homes and capturing my someday wife? Ooh! Lemme see!
(Meanwhile In Uru'baen...)
Durza: STOP FIGURING OUT THE PLOT LINE!!! -Slaps a hoe-
(Back with Eragon and Roran...)
Eragon: No! It's nothing! I have nothing!
Roran: Okay! I'm leaving because I don't want to be recruited into the king's army!
Garrow: -Coughs- Bullllsshiiittt....
Eragon Movie Script Writer: IT'S REASONABLE ENOUGH!!
Paolini: Where was I to approve this?
Eragon Movie Script Writer: GET BACK IN THE CLOSET!!!! -Shoves Paolini back into the closet-
(On the morning of Roran's leave to escape the recruiting army...)
Garrow: Here's some money Roran! It's a full quarter that I'd been saving up for you since you were born... -Gives the quarter to Roran-
Roran: Holy shit dad! You're rich!
Eragon: Oh em gee, just leave already!! -Questionably gay from this point on-
Roran: Give me a hug Eragon!
Eragon: No.
Roran: Ple--ase?
Eragon: No.
Roran: Come on Eragon, just one hug?
Eragon: No.
Eragon Movie Script Writer: LEAVE!!! The army will be on your ass if you don't leave!
Roran: -Runs like a pansy-
(That night...)
Eragon: -Thinks to himself- I hope nobody thinks I'm gay now... That line was awfully questionable... Oh well! I can prove I'm not gay by being hopelessly in love with that elf woman named Arya!
-The "stone" hatches and reveals a sapphire blue dragon with feather-like wings-
Eragon: Holy shiznets! That egg just hatched all awesome like! And it's got... Feathery wings?
Eragon Movie Script Writer: I LOVE THE FEATHERS!!!! xD
Saphira: S'up bitches?! I'm yo dragon and chu be muh rider! Muh name's Saphira and I come prenamed!
Eragon: Well that's not cool... I wanted to name you Thorn so I could beat Murtagh to it...
Eragon Movie Script Writer: Hell no! Prenamed is better!
Saphira: Oh and for some reason I already know how to talk! And watch this!
-Saphira flies up into the sky and gets struck by lightning; She comes back down, full grown-
Eragon: Holy tartar sauce! I swear I'm not on drugs!
Eragon Movie Script Writer: Being in control... Is.... AWESOME!! xD
(Meanwhile in Uru'baen...)
Galbatorix: What hoe? News from CNN! Now!
Durza: We have a continually failing economy, Haiti is in its usual disarray, and there are continual racists issues because Obama became president.
Galbatorix: Not that news, you twat! The egg! The egg!
Durza: Oh! My bad! The egg has hatched but to a mere man whore... Wait, er... Mere farm boy... Yeah! That's it, farm boy...
Galbatorix: Don't let them get to the Varden! Trust me, I know where they are... Oh I know... I just won't send anyone there to destroy them!
Sasukec: xD Well, that's all I have... And I know, it's just kinda cheesy xD
But! I'm working on it and it shouldn't take too much longer to finish... I've just got to really get to it, that's all! :]
Well, hope you liked what more I posted! :D