I thought I'd do a Valentine's Chapter. I don't own Naruto. If i did, would we be having this conversation? No, no we wouldn't


Tenten POV (time skip to Valentine's Day (yes I know it was on a Sunday but let's pretend for the sake of the plot))

I leaned against my locker. Ugh. It was today.

Valentines Day. Gag.

Chocolates, valentines professing infatuations, and flowers. Lots and lots of flowers.

What is the purpose of Valentine's Day anyway? It's like it's designed to make single people feel bad about not being with someone.

Like I actually gave two fucks.

Love is only there to disappoint you, anyway. It causes pain and suffering and all this unnecessary shit. Really, can you make women look more desperate? 'Oh please, I need to be shown your love for me and by buying me chocolates and valentines is just the thing.'

…He married you, didn't he? Should that be enough? But noooooo, you want something to show off to your girlfriends about how amazing he is to you. (A/N: btw, Tenten was just mocking a married woman that she created inside her head. What? It's not like she can mock her mother or anything…) Once again, just keep on making the female sex seem needier and needier.

"So I take it you don't like the holiday?" An amused voice asked behind me.

I scoffed, crossing my arms and answered without facing him. "This so-called holiday needs to go jump off a cliff. With big pointy rocks. And hungry sharks. And piranhas."

"Ah." He said shortly. "I see."

"Hn." I frowned.

"I'm beginning to get used to that."

"Okay." I shrugged.

"Hi Tenten! Neji." Sakura greeted, cheerful as always. I rolled my eyes. "Happy Valentines Day!"

I groaned. "It's only happy if you like it. Which, I clearly do not."

I could feel him smirking behind me.

She stopped before opening her locker. "Oh, come one Tennie, it's not that bad." Uchiha appeared behind her quietly, signaling to us not to say anything. When she opened her locker, dozens of red and pink roses, valentines and chocolates, poured out. She looked down at it in surprise. "Wow…" she whispered. Then, out of the heap she spotted and picked up a black rose, stem wrapped around in pink and green ribbon, a bow at the top.

It was obvious (well…to me and Hyuuga-even when he said nothing) as to who gave her that. "Well, well, well. I wonder who would get the idea of giving you a black rose?" I asked sarcastically, eyeing the smirking Chicky. "Good morning, Uchiha." He glowered at my smile.

"Huh?" I guess she thought I was talking to her. Ha. A blush deepened on her pink cheeks as she turned around, finally seeing the Uchiha leaning against his locker, smirking at her. (A/N: locker arrangements: Neji-Tenten-Sakura-Sasuke) "H-hello Sasuke-kun." She stammered.

I rolled my eyes. "You have got to be kidding me." I muttered.

"Heh." Hyuuga chuckled wryly behind me. "Like all the rest." He murmured close to my ear.

"For once, you're right." I allowed. "I can see were this is going." I said, turning to open my locker. The contents were more than my stuff. They were flowers, valentines and guess what? Chocolates. Adding insult to injury, they were all pink.

I growled as it spilled out of my locker, glaring at the crap.

"Did you see that?" he responded.

I ignored him. "Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds' conversation, but Uchiha do you have a lighter?" I asked.

"Hn." He nodded, opening his locker the same time Vicky did behind me. Simultaneously, valentines, chocolates and…fake lace underwear (?) spilled out.

We stared at our piles in front of us. "Wow. How did they get in our lockers?" I asked.

"They…have ways." The boys said, shuddering.

I picked up pink lace panties from Hyuuga's pile with two fingers and held it away from me- as if it was hazardous material- and looked at him. "Seriously?" I asked incredulously.

He nodded.

"What do they want you to do with it? Wear it?" Sakura eyed the red camisole she now held with her fingers.

"Well, I'm going to do us all a favor and burn it. Chicky, the lighter." I caught the lighter he tossed to me without looking away from the piles, dropping the faux lace. Sakura shuddered as she tossed what was in her hand back to the pile. "Now, tell me, is there a place where I can burn this without getting in trouble?" I asked.

"…isn't that a little rash?" Vicky asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "Meh." I waved it off, looking in the supply closet (that shouldn't be unlocked) for a plastic bag and gloves to put this crap in. When I found them I put the gloves on (what else would I do with them?) and began picking it up. "I absolutely hate roses. Can't they be a bit more creative when they pick flowers? I wasn't even aware that I had fanboys!" I seethed.

Neji chuckled. "What is your favorite flower then?"

I stood up straight at that question. "The Crateva Religiosa. The Garlic Pear Tree is a native in Asia; you should find it around here. It's really well known in India and is used in medicine. It's abnormal-looking, yet deemed the "perfect flower". It has many names, including the spider tree." I smirked at that. "Regardless, it's beautiful." I looked to him, who was giving me an odd look. "What?" I didn't notice that Sakura and Uchiha left.

He shook his head and looked away. "Nothing."

Picking up the last rose and dropping it in the bag, I walked over to the biology room, where surprisingly snake-man wasn't slithering around. Shrugging it off, I looked in the cabinet for some alcohol. I read the label: Warning: this is highly flammable. "Perfect." I grinned evilly. I opened the window to see the dumpster below-even more perfect. Soaking the bag's contents with the clear liquid, I dropped it in the dumpster below. It made a small thud. Hugo was standing at the doorway watching me with a confused-yet amused expression on his face.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Well I have alcohol-soaked valentines and a lighter. You figure it out." Grabbing sheets of paper and crumbing them up. With the lighter, the paper balls went aflame. I picked them up and threw them outside to the dumpster, satisfied with the explosion everything made. I clapped my hands and looked back to Hyuuga.

"You do stranger things everyday, I swear." He smirked.

"I'm special like that." I grinned, smoke rising up behind me. I heard sirens behind me. "Come on, let's go." I ran out of the room.

Like any normal person, you're probably wondering why I am roaming around school without getting in trouble. Yeah, this place takes Valentine's Day very seriously. So they allow the students to roam around the school, giving out valentines and shit. Which meant more fun for me. Note the sarcasm.

What the hell? Are they aware of how much liberty they are giving the fangirls/boys? Do they know there is a VERY HIGH PERCENTAGE that I along with Amy, Chicky and Vicky are going to be killed today? See, because it goes like this:

I'm gonna be killed because of Neji's fangirls.

Sakura's gonna be killed because of Sasuke's fangirls.

Neji's gonna be killed because of my fanboys.

Sasuke's gonna be killed because of Sakura's fanboys.

We're all gonna die…because of each other….yippee…

"Don't be so negative." We began to walk down the hall.

"How the hell am I supposed to be 'positive' about this?" I retorted. "I've been chased since the second day and then I discover that I have fanboys, along with your whores, that want to pledge their 'undying love' to me! How else am I supposed to take this?" I was freaking out. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe, Tenten, breathe.

"Never mind…" He admitted.

Oh-ho, I wasn't done. "And somehow, because you are 'clinging' to me they want to fight you. What the hell? We are just friends. Will someone else other than me please try to grasp that?!" I was really freaking out.

He covered my mouth and pushed me up against the lockers. "Breathe." He ordered, releasing his hand. "You are smarter than this. You can handle this. You are the strongest, most brilliant, yet inexplicably crazy girl I have met. Don't let them get inside of your head; they would never find their way out in that maze of yours." He poked my head.

I was calm now. "Speaking of which, we should devise a plan as to evade them." "Funny, I was thinking the same thing." A voice said behind us. Sakura and Chicky were smirking behind us.

"We're not the only ones in sync are we, Victor?" We turned around to them.

"Shut up." She rolled her jade eyes, a light blush appearing. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

I nodded. "Converge-Diverge."

"What?" Chicky asked.

"The plan is simple, Uchiha. One pair converges, the other diverges." I replied.

"I didn't even understand that inside your head. Elaborate." Hyuuga asked next to me.

I sighed. These boys are so simple-minded. "One pair –that means one boy and one girl-" They both glared at me when I said that. "pretends that they're a couple, eliminating the fangirls and fanboys. The other pretends to fight, letting the fangirls/boys think that they are having problems with their relationship. Both aren't foolproof and depend solely on how the fanatics perceive the two. But they are much better than having you two be kissed by Yua/Karin, then us 'accidently' catching you two and pretend to burst into tears." Well, he wanted me to elaborate, didn't he?

"And the best thing is that couples are already predetermined for us, so naturally the ones to converge will be Sasuke-kun and I," Sakura looked at the former.

"And the ones to diverge are me and Vicky." I smirked at this. "Also, since the both of you aren't men of many words, this also depends on the physical factor." I noted.

"So, that means when you and I have an altercation, it would involve me trying to hurt you physically." Victor determined. I nodded.

"And when Sakura and I are pretending to be together, that would include us holding hands…" Sakura nodded, blushing again.

"In fact the easiest part is going to be you two; it doesn't require a lot of acting skills when you actually feel that way." I shrugged, ignoring Amy's tomato-red face and Sasuke's slightly confused- yet with a small blush along side her. "Us on the other hand," I turned to the paled-eyed male beside me. "what are we going to fight about?" I wondered.

"I could always start something about how girls are weak." He suggested.

"Ah, the chauvinistic approach. I like it. And if you really thought that way, you wouldn't survive." I commented.

"Hn." He smirked. "We just have to pretend to hurt each other without actually causing physical harm."

"Good luck with that." Uchiha said, intertwining his hand with Pinky's. Aww…

And we splited up. Sasugay and Sakura went to the Gym where the fanboys were, and we headed for the field where the fangirls were.

(I'm going to try with a third person omniscient POV from now on)

-At the field with Neji and Tenten- (both pairs are now in their gym uniform)

"What are you trying to say, Hyuuga? Are you calling girls weak?" Tenten was glaring at the pale-eyed prodigy, who was currently looking nonchalant. "More specifically, are you calling me weak?"

He scoffed, looked away, and then looked back. "That depends on whether you're a girl or not." He commented, studying her. "Your anatomy says 'yes', but your rather aggressive stance leads me to think otherwise." He smirked at her fuming face.

"Well, excuse me for being a tomboy. That which I'm sure you find a problem with since you are rather effeminate." She pretended to frown at him.

"Hey! Don't insult my Neji-kun like that!" Yua called out from the crowd of fangirls that formed.

"Shut the hell up!" the bun-haired girl snapped. "Are you a part of this? No, I think not. So keep your botoxed lips shut before I shut them for you." She threatened.

Neji scoffed again. "That's an empty threat."

Tenten turned her eyes back to the Hyuuga. "What makes you think that?" she retorted, narrowing her eyes.

"Well considering the fact that it was made by a weak girl…not very much." He drawled.

"Bastard!" she yelled and slapped him. Hard. "Or should I say bitch?"

He rubbed the spot where she hit him and responded. "You just insulted yourself, are you aware of that?"

She glowered. "Do I look like a female dog?"

"Well, you're surely barking like one."

She tried to slap him again, but he caught her wrist before she could and twisted it painfully until her arm was behind her back. She gritted her teeth, and swung her leg, tripping him. He fell on the grass with a thud and glared at her. Neji got up and kicked her side. She recovered and went to punch him in the face. He dodged it, stepping behind her. But she wasn't done; she kicked him in his stomach, effectively knocking the wind out of him. "Is that weak?" She called to him on the grass.

"Hn." He got up and approached her. "This is not over." He said tonelessly, glaring at her. Simultaneously, they turned away from each other and stalked away from each other. Leaving the shocked-and somewhat giddy- fangirls.

"Ooo, does that mean that Neji-kun's free?"

"So they didn't like each other…"

"Neji-kun finally realized what a bitch she was!"

(Insert more mindless comments)

-With Sasuke and Sakura in the gym-

"Sasuke-kun, stop!" The pink haired girl squealed/laughed.

Our chicken-haired prodigy has finally caught Sakura in their game of Tag, and is now tickling her up against a wall. "I'd rather not."

"Sasuke-kun! Please stop!" She laughed, squirming at his touch.

Suddenly he stopped. Only to grab her wrists and pin them above her. His lips were at her ear. "You should really stop teasing me like this, Sakura." He whispered, blowing cool air in the shell of her ear.

Heat rose to her cheeks. "W-what have I done, Sasuke?" she asked innocently.

He smirked and looked her in the eyes. "Do you like me, Sakura?" he asked, honestly.

Sakura was confused at the question, but answered anyway. "Hai."

"Then what is holding you back?"

"I'm not a fangirl, Sasuke. I really like you." She asserted.

"I never thought of you as a fangirl, Sakura." He shook his head slowly. "And I like you too." He confessed, before leaning in to kiss her.

"Hey!" but was interrupted in the process by one of the fanboys in the crowd behind them. The onyx haired male turned around, in front of Sakura defensively.

"What?"

"Don't treat our Sakura-chan like that!"

Sasuke responded by wrapping his hands around said girl's waist from behind and placing his head on her shoulder and in the crook of her neck. "Is she really yours? Last time I checked, I should be the possessive one around here." He said, tightening his grip on Sakura.

They couldn't say anything. By the looks of it, the lone Uchiha was right.

"Sakura!" Tenten called, briskly walking in front of the couple. Instinctively, Sasuke released his hold on Sakura, since he wanted to keep his arms. Tenten glared at him before explaining. "Sorry to break up the new couple up but I figured I could borrow her since its lunchtime and she's my best friend, which immediately trumps boyfriend." She yanked Sakura away, not before passing Hyuuga on his way to Sasuke. Words were naturally exchanged.

"Ch."

"Hn."

Well…more correctly, syllables. And glares.

"Wow, what happened between you two?" Sasuke asked loud enough so the fanboys could hear.

"She's just weak, that's all. She didn't appreciate hearing the truth." The long-haired Hyuuga glared at the fanboys indirectly.

"Hn."

"You coming to lunch or what?" Neji asked.

He nodded walking with him out the gym, heading to the cafeteria.

-At the Cafeteria with everyone-

The room was silent. Pin-drop silence. A cough would echo throughout. All eyes were on the middle table- more specifically, the two couples. Sakura was currently leaning her head on Sasuke's shoulder, whilst his hand was on her waist.

The other two… they were currently on more hostile terms. Glaring, scowling, narrowed eyes, you name it, they were most likely doing it. And sitting straight across from each also, instead of beside of each other.

"All of this attention is troublesome." Shikamaru yawned before lying down.

"Tenten-san, Neji-nii-san, what happened?" Hinata asked timidly.

"Hn." He looked away.

"Ch." She scoffed and looked away also.

"You don't have to ignore Hinata-chan like that!" Naruto exclaimed.

Neji looked back to glare at the blond. "It doesn't concern you."

"Since we are sitting at this table, I think it does." Temari replied hotly.

"Temari, don't bother with him." Tenten said. "It's not like he has anything good to say." He stared at her for a second before scoffing and looking away again.

"What I want to know is what's going on between these two." Ino remarked, pointing at Sakura and Sasuke.

The group (sans Tenten, Neji and the dozing Nara) silently agreed and turned their attention to them.

"What?" Sakura asked.

"Whaddaya mean, 'what?' When did this happen?" Temari asked.

She shrugged. "It just did." She smiled.

"And on Valentine's Day, how romantic." Tenten commented, feigning regurgitation.

"Tennie, why are you in such a bad mood?" the pinkette frowned.

Neji scoffed again. "Isn't she always?"

Said person scowled at him. "Go to hell, Hyuuga."

"With you here? Too late." He retorted.

Let me remind you that this is all an act. Inside their heads, Tenten and the Hyuuga are enjoying this.

Wow, I don't even think that Amy and Chicky are trying.

That's because, they aren't Tenten.

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

You're welcome.

So, how long do you think that we have to keep this up? Your fangirls are leaving you alone.

Not until your fanboys start flirting with you, do I think it's safe.

…Why would they start flirting with me?

You haven't dealt with fanboys before, have you? Once they think I'm no longer a threat, they'll start flirting with you.

If that is so, doesn't that mean that your fangirls are going to start flirting with you?

When have they haven't? The only reason it subdued was because they were too busy with you.

And this is where the bad part of the plan sinks in: you still have to deal with them.

Nothing I can't handle.

But it's unfair; with Amy and Chicky, the fanatics leave them alone completely. With us, they are still there; it's just that they no longer see the two of us as a threat.

Am I sensing a conscience, Tenten?

Yeah, Neji, Jiminy Cricket is chirping in my ear as we speak.


I really like this chapter; it took me two days to type it up. This day is not over, I assure you. The fun will continue.

Read an REViEw!