This is totall AU or whatever you want to call it. I could never come up with a story as good as the writers of SOA do, so I won't even try. This will just be a little story about Happy finding some happiness. And, I have always been fascinated with the characters of Otto and Luann and I am peeved that they killed Luann off. Oh well. The title comes from an Uncle Kracker song and I have always wanted to use it, so there it is. I totally take my inspirations from music and there were quite a few songs that inspired this little story. If you are interested just let me know and I will send you the playlist. Almost forgot....I own nothing, just playing. All mistakes are my own.

Jessie took a deep breath and smoothed her hair away from her face as she waited for the guard to open the door to the visiting room. It didn't matter that she had been doing this monthly visit for years now. It didn't matter that all of the guards knew her by name. It didn't even matter that most of the inmates knew her name. Going behind bars still made her nervous and she could feel the apprehension building as the door swung open.

"There you go, Miss Jessie. Your Daddy's waiting on you over there." Jessie glanced to where he was pointing and smiled at the sight of her big, scary looking father drumming his fingers on the table in front of him. "Hey, Otto, your baby girl is here" the guard called out as he let Jessie through the door.

Jessie made her way through the crowded room to where her father was waiting. He stood as she approached and enveloped her in his embrace. Physical contact was frowned upon, but the guards always managed to be looking the other way when the big man wanted to hug his daughter. Jessie relaxed into the comfort of her Daddy and closed her eyes as she inhaled his scent. She blinked back the tears as he pulled away to look at her. She never wanted him to see her cry, even though she knew he was always aware of her tears.

"Sit down, let's talk about it" Otto said as he reached over and pulled a chair out for her.

Jessie sat in the offered chair and watched as Otto sat in the one across the table from her and crossed his arms on the table in front of him. The tears threatened to spill over again when she saw the tattoo of her mother's name engraved on his arm. She took a large, shaky breath and stretched her arm across the table to trace a fingertip over the letters. "I just can't believe that she's gone. She was supposed to always be there." She sighed in frustration. "I just feel so bad for being away for so many years, for not listening when she asked me to come home. I can't tell you how many times I blew her and Gemma off when they would call and try to get me to visit." She looked down at her finger still tracing the letters on his arm and then raised her eyes to meet his. "The worst part is that I've never really been happy in the world away from the club, I've never fit in anywhere no matter how hard I try. I'm just so tired of hiding who I am." She placed her arms on the table in between them with her forearms up. "I'm tired of hiding these and then having to explain them when someone sees them. I'm just so tired."

Otto picked up her small hands in his own and traced the tattoos gracing her inner wrists with his thumbs. On the right one was an intricate crow with his name in one of the wings and on the left was a wild, thorny rose twined around Luann's name. He remembered the day that she had gotten the tattoos as if it was yesterday and the memory pierced his heart like a knife. She had left for college two days later, taking nothing but her own memories with her. He allowed himself a small smile as her remembered her explanation for the tattoos. She was leaving Charming but her parents would always be with her. It was her way of telling the Outlaw Biker and the Porn Queen that she loved them, no matter what. "Jessie, baby, your Mom knew how much you loved her and so do I. We both knew that you had to leave; we just didn't know if you would ever be back. We understood. I guess we should have told you that a long time ago."

"I just get so overwhelmed when I think of all the things I've lost in the last eight years. I would have never left if I knew then what I know now. I feel like I've wasted my life. I wasted all that time that I could have spent with you and Mom and I don't think I have enough to show for it. It just doesn't feel worth it."

Otto listened to her, letting her get it all out in a rush before her said anything. "Take a breath, baby girl." He took both of her hands into one of his and used his free hand to caress her cheek. "I want you to listen to me now. You need to quit being scared of what you are. You are the daughter of a convict and a porn queen and there is nothing wrong about that, nothing that makes you a bad person. Learn to deal with it, without feeling sorry for yourself. And quit running away." He pulled her closer to him and met her eyes. "I need you to be strong for me now. I know it shouldn't be your responsibility, but it is. You have to be my eyes and ears in Charming now, you have to carry on for the family and keep our interests alive. I haven't put in all of these years to have it turn into nothing."

Jessie looked down at their clasped hands and contemplated what he had just said. "You're right. Tell me what you want me to do"

BREAK

Jessie spent the drive to Charming thinking about all of the things that Otto had said. She wrestled with her doubts and insecurities and wondered if she could live up to the responsibility that he had given her. As darkness fell and she got closer to her childhood home she finally concluded that her father, as usual, was right. She decided to do the only thing that made any sense. She would follow his instructions to the best of her ability. She would live her life as the daughter of an Outlaw Biker and a Porn Queen and she would never apologize for it again.

It was completely dark by the time she pulled into the lot at Teller-Morrow and from the looks of things SAMCRO was in full party mode. For the second time that day, she smoothed her hair down and took a deep breath to calm her nerves before she exited the car. A sudden tapping on the window made her jump. She smiled when she saw Gemma on the other side and opened the door. She was barely out of the car before Gemma grabbed her, pulling her into a hug. She felt tears sting her eyes once again as she put her arms around Gemma and returned the hug. She wiped a few stray tears away when Gemma released her and smiled at the other woman when she saw her do the same thing.

"Damn, it's sure good to see you. I should kick your ass for staying away for so long." Gemma took her arm and led her to a table of women. "You better meet the girls before Jax and Opie figure out you're here. You probably remember Tara and this is Lyla."

Jessie exchanged a hug with Tara and smiled at the other woman. "Tara Knowles, you are the last person I expected to see here. Didn't we swear on the sacred Barbie doll that we would leave and never come back?"

Tara laughed as she gave Jessie another hug. "Some things are just meant to be. I just wish we were both back here under better circumstances." She lowered her voice and leaned closer to Jessie "I won't tell the sacred Barbie if you don't."

Jessie sat down at the picnic table beside the woman that Gemma had called Lyla and waited for Tara to sit down beside Gemma before she spoke. "I've missed you guys so much. I want to apologize for staying away for so long and for disappearing out of your lives." She had more to say but stopped when Gemma held up a hand to quiet her.

"Sweetie you don't have anything to apologize for. This life isn't for everyone and we all have to come to terms with it in our own time. I'm just glad you came home so we can all deal with this together; we need each other more than ever now." She put her arm around Tara and held out a hand for Lyla to take. "Tonight we celebrate life and love while we have the chance. Okay?"

"Okay" Jessie said.

"Good answer" Gemma replied. "You children talk amongst yourselves; I'm going to find Clay." The three girls watched as she walked towards the clubhouse.

"Why do I always feel shell shocked after five minutes with her?" Lyla asked after a moment.

Tara and Jessie exchanged amused glances. "You're not the only one, trust me" Jessie said. "You'd think that after my Mom we wouldn't be easily scared but there's always been something about Gemma, even when we were kids. My Mom was fierce but Gemma could always make her seem like "Susie Homemaker"."

"I'm just glad that she's gotten over the urge to kill me," Tara said.

"What is the deal with that?" Jessie asked. "I never thought I would see you guys this chummy."

"We've bonded" Tara replied, "but it's something that Gemma will have to tell you about herself." Her eyes widened as she looked over Jessie and Lyla's shoulders. "Uh-oh, brace yourself. We've been spotted by Jax and Opie and it doesn't look good for you Jessie."

Jessie put her hands on the top of the table to stand up, but before she could get upright, she was grabbed by two strong arms and thrown over a shoulder. "Harry Winston, you let me down right now. I mean it." Jessie shrieked as she was carried towards the clubhouse.

"Not gonna happen" Opie replied. "Hey Jax, some help here."

Jessie had been away for many years but she knew that some things remain the same and she braced herself for what was coming. "Oh no you don't. We are too old for a Jessie sandwich. Put me down." Opie set her down in front of Jax but before she could say another word she was crushed between them. Giving into the inevitable, she relaxed into the comforting embrace of her childhood friends. When they finally released her, she tried her best to hide the tears on her face. "I'm sorry; I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been crying all day."

Opie handed her a bandana from his pocket and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek. "It's okay."

Jax watched her silently until she looked up to meet his eyes. "It's good to see you Jessie. It's starting to feel like old times around here." He slung an arm around her shoulders and put his other one around Tara's waist. "Me and Opie better go home and hide our hot-wheels."

"I can't believe you remember that" Jessie said as Tara burst out laughing from his other side.

"You two scarred me for life. Every time I make Tara mad I go out and make sure the wheels are still on my motorcycle."

From behind them, Jessie could hear Opie explaining to Lyla. "Jessie and Tara were little hellions when we were kids and whenever we made them mad they would steal all the wheels off of our hot-wheel cars. Made us so mad but we never could find them."

Jessie heard Lyla laugh as she said, "Well, that explains all the toy cars without wheels in the box under the stairs."

"We always held out hope that they would give the wheels back someday," Jax said as Opie and Lyla moved up to walk beside them.

"Play your cards right and we might be able to work something out" Tara told him as they entered the clubhouse.

The next few hours were a blur as Jessie reunited with all of the old SAMCRO members and met some of the new ones. All of the smiling and reminiscing had taken its toll on her and when Jessie found herself alone for a moment she went outside for some much needed air. She sat down on one of the picnic tables and looked up at the stars. She blew out a breath of air and let her head fall back; she could feel the beginnings of a tension headache.

"Looking a little lonely there. You want someone new to talk to?" Jessie raised her head to see the person who belonged to the gravely voice. It was the one that Jax had introduced as Happy. His presence unexpectedly took her breath away and she had to struggle to find her voice.

"What I really want is a ride," Jessie said. She didn't know why she said that but she realized that it was the truth. She wanted to be on the back of a bike with the wind whipping around her. She wanted to rush through black silence with only the rumble of the bike in her ears.

Happy looked at her for just a second before he said "Wait here, I'll be right back."

He was back in just a few minutes with a jacket for himself and one for Jessie. He silently held the jacket out to Jessie and waited as she shrugged into it. Once she had it zipped, he handed her a helmet. She looked at it and immediately recognized it. "This is my helmet. Where did you get this?"

Happy shrugged "Been in the cabinet under the bar for years, has your name in it."

Jessie smiled as she buckled the helmet on "Thanks." She watched as he settled onto the bike before he turned and held out a hand to her. Using his arm for support, Jessie sat behind him and placed her feet on the small pegs that he flipped out for her.

"Sorry, I don't have a back bar. I don't have many passengers." Happy told her over his shoulder.

"That's okay, I can hang" Jessie replied.

"All right, let's go then" Happy said as he put the Harley into gear.

Some time and many miles later Jessie felt the bike slow and looked over Happy's shoulder to see that they were pulling into an all night diner. Somehow, in the course of the ride, she had moved closer to Happy and her old habit of hooking her fingers into the belt loops of the person in front of her had reappeared. She was suddenly very aware of his solid presence in front of her, she could feel the muscles in his back and legs flexing as he brought the motorcycle to a halt in front of the diner. When she went to get off the bike Happy reached back to put his hands on her thighs, stopping her movement. "Wait a minute," he said as he stood and pulled his leg over the bike to stand beside her. "It's been a long time since you rode, let me help you."

Jessie smiled gratefully when he grasped her arm and helped her off the Harley. She stood on shaky legs and removed her helmet, placing it on the seat of the bike. As her legs came back to life, she realized an urgent need to pee. She raised her eyes to Happy and saw him smirking at her. He pointed to the door "Inside and to the right. I'll be right behind you."

Without waiting for him, Jessie made a mad dash for the restroom. After finishing her business and washing her hands and face, she felt much better as she made her way to the back booth where Happy was sitting.

She slid into the booth across from him and wrapped her hands around the coffee mug that was sitting there. They sat together in companionable silence for a few minutes before Jessie spoke. "Thanks for stopping, how did you know I would need to?"

"Hell, my ass was starting to hurt so I figured yours had to be" Happy said.

Jessie searched his eyes for a few minutes trying to figure him out. Something drew him to her. He had a calming silence around him, as he never needed to talk just to fill a void. A thought suddenly occurred to her. "Am I keeping you from something or someone? Do you need to go back?"

Happy gave her a small smile as he replied, "Got nowhere I need to be or no one I need to be with. Right here is just fine." He took a sip of his coffee and looked out at the night. "I love riding at night. It makes me feel free."

"I know what you mean" Jessie told him. "Dad used to take me on night rides; it was one of my favorite things." She fiddled with the spoon beside her coffee cup for a few moments before she spoke again. "I hope I didn't bother you tonight, I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

Happy cocked his head to the side and looked at her for so long that she started to get uncomfortable before he replied. "I've never felt that good with a woman on my bike. You fit."

They sat in an easy silence while they finished their coffee. After paying the check they made their way back outside to the motorcycle. Jessie stopped beside the bike and looked up to find Happy looking at her with an intense look in his eyes. He placed his hand behind her neck and pulled her closer to him. "I'm gonna kiss you. Say no now, it's your last chance."

Jessie felt her heart hammering in her chest and knew that she would be unable to say no even if her life depended on it. She reached up, put her hand behind his neck, and pulled him down to her so she could whisper in his ear. "I'm gonna kiss you and you better not say no."

With a growl, he brought his other hand up to tangle in her hair and his lips descended upon hers in a rough, demanding kiss. Jessie let herself be swept away by his lips on hers and she kissed him until she was breathless. When they finally broke apart, they were both gasping for breath and Jessie rested her forehead on his chest while she pulled much needed oxygen into her lungs. She started laughing and lifted her head to see him smiling down at her. "Wow, I didn't see that one coming. Did you?"

"If someone had told me I would be kissing Big Otto's daughter tonight, I would have laughed at 'em." He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and ran his fingers through the tangled mess that was flowing down her back. "Okay, here's the deal. We're a long way from Charming but only a few hours from somewhere I would like to show you. Either way is fine with me, you decide."

She rested her hands on the front of his jacket as she thought about what he had just said. If she was honest with herself she would have to admit that sleeping with Happy was inevitable, just a matter of time. She met his eyes as she tugged on his cut. "This jacket means that I am safe with you, I know that and I need you to know that. Whatever I do, I do because it's what I want. I am Luann's daughter, ya know." She backed away from him to put on her jacket and helmet. She settled herself on the back of the seat and patted the space in front of her. "Let's go."

Happy held her eyes as he buckled his helmet and she could see the wheels turning in his head. He straddled the bike, turned the key and reached back for her hands. He pulled her arms around him and said "I think we're way past polite."

Jessie locked her arms around his waist and closed her eyes. She let herself get lost in the moment. Lost in the feeling of the air rushing around her, the rough leather under her hands and, most of all, the man she was holding onto. A short while later she opened her eyes as the bike slowed.

"Gotta get some gas," Happy said as he came to a stop beside some pumps. He pulled a cell phone out of his jacket pocket and handed it to her. "You should call Gemma so she won't worry. On a night like this she'll still be up."

Jessie took the phone and scrolled through the numbers until she found one for Gemma. She watched Happy fill the tank as she waited for Gemma to answer. She was in the middle of her conversation with Gemma when he finished, and she could see that he was hesitating before leaving her to go inside and pay. She put her hand over the phone and told him "Go pay. I'm a big girl; I can take care of myself."

By the time he returned, she had finished talking to Gemma. She had assured the older woman that she knew what she was doing and after a few warnings, Gemma had finally relented and wished her good luck. In typical Gemma fashion, she had ended the call with the hope that a good lay would put some things into perspective for her young friend. Jessie was still sitting on the back of the motorcycle when he approached and she knew that she must look like a crazy person, sitting there grinning like a loon.

Happy looked at her, raised one eyebrow, and said "Advice from Gemma?"

Jessie nodded her head and replied, "You have no idea."

BREAK

Another hour into the ride brought them far away from city lights into deserted countryside. Jessie had long ago relaxed into Happy's back, oblivious to where they were going and she was slightly startled when he slowed the bike and turned onto a dirt lane. Happy reached back and ran his hand from her hip to her knee and said "Hang on, this is a little bumpy."

Jessie tightened her knees around him as they made their way down a tiny, rutted path. With only the small headlight for illumination, she could not see much. Her eyes widened in amazement when they finally emerged into a clearing. In the middle of about a million trees she saw a tiny Airstream trailer. When Happy brought the bike to a stop she was still looking around in awe. He switched the engine off, they were engulfed in totally dark silence, and she was grateful when Happy made no move to get off the bike or speak. After a few minutes of silence, Happy placed his hands on hers where they were gripping his front belt loops. "Is this your thing?"

Jessie tried to jerk her hands away but he stopped her movement. "Didn't say I don't like it. Just curious" Happy said as he let her loose and helped her off the bike.

Jessie shrugged her shoulders and said, "It's something I've always done. I think my Dad taught me that when I was little. He was always afraid that I would fall off and my arms have always been too short to go all the way around him. It's a habit." She laughed at an old memory. "Opie hates it for some reason but Jax thinks it's cute."

"Spend a lot of time on the back of Opie's bike?" Happy asked as he walked towards the trailer. "Wait right there, I'll get some lights."

"Didn't you know that I was once madly in love with Opie? We were gonna take over the world and live happily ever after." Jessie said from her place beside the bike.

Happy's voice came from inside the trailer "Is that right? Do I need to worry about that?"

"Well, the thing is, I turned seven and then I thought boys were icky. It just wasn't the same between us after that." Jessie smiled at the memories of her childhood crush on the big, burly, biker. She smiled even wider when the lights on the front of the trailer came on and she could actually see. She saw a small deck festooned with rope lights and two old Adirondack chairs. She made her way towards the trailer and met Happy in the doorway. He took her hand and pulled her into his embrace. "It's a good thing, I like Opie and all but I don't think I could stop right now." He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her as he reached around her to close the door. "I'll give you the tour tomorrow," he said as he grasped her around the waist and lifted her off the floor.

Jessie instinctively put her arms around his neck and her legs around his hips as he carried her towards the back of the trailer where she had spotted the bed. She expected him to toss her on the bed and she was surprised when he didn't loosen his hold on her. He cradled her head in his hands and sank down with her onto the bed. When he pulled away to sit up, Jessie watched him in the gloom of the trailer as he pulled the t-shirt over his head and tossed it aside. Jessie had suspected that he was covered with tattoos and she was not disappointed. She sat up and ran her hands over the many tattoos covering his chest and shoulders. "Just for the record. I love tattoos. Love them, love them, and love them." She moved so she was straddling his lap, giving her a good view of his ink. She brought her hands up to encircle his neck as she lowered her head to capture his lips with hers. She felt his hands under her shirt and broke the kiss long enough to pull it over her head and toss it in the vicinity where he had tossed his. She felt a moment of shyness when she sat in front on him in only a bra, but the look he gave her silenced that thought. His gaze roamed over her breasts as his hands moved to her back and released the clasp. As he pulled the straps down her arms his lips descended upon hers again and soon Jessie forgot all about being shy.

"You have too many clothes on," Happy said as he moved her so she was flat on the bed.

"So, what are you gonna do about that?" Jessie inquired as she tried to sit up.

Happy shook his head at her and pushed her back on the bed. He moved to the end of the bed and removed her boots and socks. After taking off his own boots and socks, he crawled up her body and unsnapped her jeans, sliding them down her legs. He cocked an eyebrow at her "Commando?"

She shrugged "I hate underwear." She smiled at his expression and went to work on his belt. "I hate having to pull it out of places it has no business being." She finished with the belt and unsnapped his jeans.

When she started to pull the zipper down, he grabbed her hand and said, "Stop. You're killin' me here." He rolled them so that she was mostly under him with her hands in his over their heads. "I'm not in the mood for a quickie," he whispered in her ear before he sat up to straddle her hips with his knees. Before she knew what was happening he had turned her so that she was lying on her stomach. She could feel his fingers as they traced the large tattoo that covered most of her back. "I could see some of this through your t-shirt. It's beautiful. What does it mean?"

Jessie gathered her thoughts as she felt his lips moving over the tattoo. "The broken, mended heart with wings is me. I just got the rose added last week, for Luann. My Dad always called her his wild rose and Rose is my middle name."

Happy turned her over so that she was facing him again and pulled her hands towards him. He turned them so that he could kiss her inner wrists and said, "Just for the record, I love tattoos. Love them, love them and love them, Jessica Rose."

Jessie felt tears sting her eyes once again, but she quickly forgot about them when Happy began to make love to her with fervor, as if he was worshipping her body. Some time later, she began to beg for mercy, even though she was starting to believe that she would never be able to get enough of him. She lay limply under him and pushed at his chest "I really have to pee, Happy. Seriously. I am not kidding here."

He laughed into her shoulder and rolled away from her. "Gotta go too, just don't know if I can make it that far." He watched in amazement as Jessie crawled over him, opened the small bathroom door and sat down to pee.

"What?" Jessie said as she looked around for some toilet paper. "Like you said earlier, I think we're a little past polite." She wrinkled her nose in thought "Make that a lot past polite." On her way back to the bed, she snagged his t-shirt from the floor and tossed him his jeans. "I need food. You got anything here?"

The thought of food spurred Happy into action and he soon joined Jessie in searching the cabinets for a meal. They carried their hastily put together meal out to the deck and ate as the sun started peeking over the trees. After she finished her crackers and canned peaches, Jessie got up and snuggled into Happy's lap to watch the last of the sunrise. He folded his arms around her and rested his chin on her head as they sat in silence, enjoying the beauty of the morning. After a few too many minutes of silence, Happy realized that Jessie was sound asleep. He stood with her in his arms and took her to the bed. After laying her down, he stripped off his jeans and joined her. He folded her into his arms and they slept the day away.