Title: Californian's and Their Sunburns
Rating: Oh, I'll slap a T on it and call it a day. :)
Disclaimer: Oh, yet another Mentalist thing. Well, let's just say, I agree with Tromana. YEE FOR SERENITY!
Summary: For California, there were a lot of things to remember. Like how to get a perfect sunburn. Pretty random oneshot.
A/N: I don't really know where this idea came from. I think it came from me being a Nothern California girl, and loving the sunshine and the beach. Plus, I'm going to the beach tomorrow and taking a Christmas family picture. I'm like, it's freezing as it is, but you want to go to the beach and take a picture in formal clothes? IT'S FREEZING!!! So, that, and all of those cliche's. Gah, what a sdklfj;adsklf grr. Anywho, this is VERY VERY random. I mean, idk. And I keep missing the episodes because I can't stay up late. So, AU if you will. :) Oh my gosh, the first Harry Potter movie. Eleven year old cuties. I was so in love with them when I was young. Like, 7 or 8. Yeah, i was that cool then!

There were many reasons why Jane knew he lived in California. One of them happened to be lying right next to him. And on his other side. And, for that matter, down the whole damn beach.

Maybe he was just being critical, but it seemed that most stereotypes of Californian's were true. At least, the beach part was. As he looked around, he saw skinny bodies and blonde hair. There was a big, no, huge breasted woman wearing a bikini meant for a four year old walking in front of him. He diverted his eyes away, even though he was wearing sun glasses. It felt odd watching someone walk wearing next to nothing, especially in public. He smiled when he thought about nude beaches, in Italy and Greece, and laughed.

"What are you laughing about?"

He ignored the transparent question for a second, watching as a couple ran along the beach, laughing and playing and being totally cliché. He found it almost sickening. It was as if everyone was content being this way, this perfect stereotype. But, then again, he knew that no one wanted to be a stereotype. Californians' were just made that way.

"Hey, I asked you a question."

He looked at the transparent person, smiling at her.

"You did. Funny you should ask."

"Just answer the damn question." She spat back, and he smiled again.

"I was laughing at the apparent display of wanting affection by a too tanned woman."

She simply nodded and went back to reading.

"How can you read in this blinding sun?"

She pointed to the umbrella above her, and he shook his head.

"It's covering me too, you know, and I still find it blinding." He said, and she shrugged.

'My sunglasses are darker." She said, not looking up from her book. Jane reached over and took off her glasses, causing her to glare at him. Her green eyes seemed to cut him in half, and he almost shivered in the heat.

"Give me them back, I get your point."

"No, you do not."

"Fine, I still think I'm right, but can I have them back?"

Jane handed them back to her, wrinkling his nose.

"You just surrendered to me?"

"Do you like it?" She said in a saucy voice. He wiggled in his seat.

"Hey, are you two love birds going to get up and do something? We're at the beach on a day off, and you want to sit and read?" Cho yelled at them, turning their attention away from each other. The Asian man was getting plenty of stares, as he wasn't wearing a shirt, and he happened to have a six pack. Jane had seen the looks most women were giving him. It made him laugh at how they seemed offended that he was playing football with Van Pelt and Rigsby, rather than rubbing sun tan lotion on their backs.

"Maybe they like sitting there. Leave them." Rigsby said as he ran up to Cho, not wearing a shirt as well. He had gotten plenty of looks as well, and Jane found some of the woman to be… a little old. When Jane pointed that out, Cho had been first to laugh.

Cho shrugged, throwing the football to Van Pelt where she patiently awaited the return of the football. She caught it with ease, and he turned back to Rigsby.

"I guess they can't play football."

Lisbon scoffed at the statement, looking up from behind her sunglasses. She put a bookmark in her book, getting up and folding her towel on the ground. Cho smirked at Rigsby.

"I knew she'd fall for it."

"Hey Van Pelt, throw me the ball!" Lisbon yelled, and Van Pelt threw a perfect spiral to her boss. Jane was impressed as both of them as they successfully passed it back and forth a couple times before Cho and Rigsby were able to get it back. Then it seemed a game of "girls vs. boys" began, and Jane had to laugh as Lisbon, tiny tiny Lisbon, tackled Cho to the ground.

"Kimball got owned." Rigsby yelled, and everyone for about 100 yards laughed. Jane noticed most of them were woman.

"Hey, Jane, we need a ref. You should get off your ass and help." Cho said, glaring at Lisbon as she smirked at him. Maybe it was the sun, or that perfectly fitting lilac bikini on Lisbon, but Jane suddenly thought that maybe he should get up. Shaking his head, he kept his sunglasses on as he got up and walked over to where they were playing. Playing being the best word to describe it, as there didn't seem to be any rules.

"I'm just going to stand here and look cool." Jane said, and Van Pelt laughed. She passed him the ball, and he passed it back.

"Okay then." She said, before passing to Lisbon.

It was pretty entertaining to watch the four of them play, and as they did, Jane found himself watching closely. At first, he thought it was another cliché, them playing football, but then he got into it. Soon, Cho was kicking sand his way, and the girls were laughing again. It seemed the whole beach was watching the five of them. A very friendly dog joined in, and ran after the ball like crazy. Soon, it jumped on Rigsby and tackled him to the ground, licking his face. It caused more laughter, and Jane even saw Cho smiling. When they finally all tired of playing, all five collapsed back onto their towels. Van Pelt pointed out that they should probably go home, but it didn't seem that anyone really wanted too. Finally, after lying and watching the sunset for a while, they packed up their stuff and made their way to the car.

"I've got nasty sunburn." Lisbon said to Van Pelt, and the redhead nodded.

"Mine will just stay sunburn. I'll go back to being white in two day's after it peels."

"Ew." Rigsby said, looking at his shoulder. They were all sporting sunburns, and it seemed that they'd all be tan or white. As everyone else climbed into the SUV, Lisbon and Jane put their umbrella and towels in the back.

"You know, if you want, I know the perfect way to relieve the pain of a sunburn." Jane said, completely serious. Lisbon glared at him.

"No, I'm being honest. My... my daughter would get them all the time and I used vinegar to gently pat her sunburn with it. She smelled like a salad, but the burn went away. She'd stop complaining."

"Yeah, right."

"You are a stubborn woman. A transparent, stubborn woman."

"I don't believe that something acidic would help a sunburn." Lisbon said, slamming the back of the SUV.

"You'd be surprised." Jane said, and Lisbon crossed her arms. They stared at each other for a minute, before Jane smirked. Lisbon glared at him before turning on her heel.

"Bite me, Jane."

"You know, I think that would hurt more than vinegar on your sunburn."

"Then bite gently!"

A/N: Sooooo.. do any of you watch Glee? I know it's on a different channel than our great Mentalist and NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles for any of you who watch those like me, but it's amazing. I guess I'm just too hyper to actually make a coherent sentence. hehe. I'm going to go watch a movie and hope that some day, my Hogwarts letter does come. :( I was devestated.