I can't get over the feeling that Grace is not as involved as Wayne in this relationship. This story arose from that.

DISCLAIMER: If I owned them, they would have never gotten out of bed!

TIMING IN LIFE

Chapter 1

Wayne had read once that an eavesdropper never hears good news. It turned out that platitude was half-right this time. He had come upon Grace on her cell phone outside the CBI building where they worked. She had ducked into one of the doorways to talk privately. However, he knew her voice in an instant. He was honestly going to step away, and then he heard his name and that low throaty laugh that never failed to turn him into nothing more than a hard-on with legs.

"Wayne? Yeah that is going strong. And let me tell you, so does he. The man is amazing. I had no idea my body could behave that way. "

"I told you, he's big. Yes, everything is larger. Oh my Goodness. I almost saw stars the first time. "

"No, not in a bad way. Apparently the human body can do almost anything."

By now, Wayne was torn between pride and embarrassment. He had hoped she was satisfied. Any man wanted that. Well, any smart man wanted that. But Wayne had wanted to make sure she was beyond that. His Grace should be completely sated with sex each and every time. She should be so perfectly happy that no other man would or could ever compare. Because for Wayne, this wasn't just about great sex with a gorgeous woman. It was love. His body was only following his heart and soul. It was uncharted territory for him, but he was happy to be an explorer. Being with the woman who owned him so completely would have scared most men. Wayne was ecstatic. The only fly in his ointment was the forced secrecy of their relationship. For his part, he would have shouted on the rooftops and let the CBI chips fall where they may.

Grace was so much less sure. He knew that. She was younger and worried more about her career. He would love to make her career being wife and mother to his kids. He knew better. She had worked too long and hard to toss it all over. She seemed happy when they were alone together, but so nervous otherwise. He knew the strain was hard on her.

"Well, yeah I guess he is perfect. But wouldn't that be my luck to find the perfect guy who is a fabulous lover at the wrong time?"

Wayne's heart dropped to his feet. He was sure he didn't want to hear anymore. But his feet were not listening to him. They were conspiring with his body. He wasn't moving.

"He says he LOVES me! All the time. Can you imagine? And he means it. Not like some guys say it to get in your pants. Even if I never did anything with him, he would still feel that way. Really loves me. And you know what? I think he always will. Most women wait forever for a guy to say and mean it like that. What's wrong with me?"

It was worse than he thought. She didn't even come close to feeling the same. He had accepted she couldn't say it. It had chipped at his heart a little, but he had a strong patient heart. Wayne knew he could wait. He had been so sure she would say it.

"Do I love him? Truthfully?"

Well, this was it. Whether or not he wanted, he was about to hear it.

"I don't know"

"No really. I don't know"

"Well, when I am with him, it's really good. No, it is better than good. It's almost perfect. Of course the sex is amazing, but it's so much more than that. We have such fun together, no matter what we are doing. Sometimes, we can sit and do absolutely nothing and it's still so comfortable. No strain, no trying to think of what to say. He isn't freaked by my job. He likes watching sports with me. He respects my opinions, but calls me on stuff we don't agree on. I love being with him."

"The problem? The secrecy. Sneaking around. Knowing that this relationship could cost me the job I have wanted for so long. Knowing that my dad was right. Remember? He kept telling everyone I wouldn't be out here a year and would throw it all over for some guy."

Well, that explained a lot. He knew her dad didn't want her doing this job, let alone being halfway across the country. No wonder she was so terrified about anyone knowing. He never told her that Cho knew. She would have been horrified. Wayne knew Cho wouldn't make a deal of it, as long as they were circumspect. When her Dad called last weekend, she made him be quiet as a mouse and denied any boyfriends. Damn the man! Making her doubt herself. Making her doubt that she could have both in her life.

"I love who I am when we are together. But I am afraid I will go so far off track. This is the guy I should have met 5 years from now. I am not ready for this, any of this."

"Yeah, I told you. Perfect guy, wrong time. What do I do? Keep stringing him along? I can't bear to see the hopeful look in his eyes every time he says it. That's just cruel. He deserves so much better than that. Do I break it off and break his heart and probably mine? I guess I could get a transfer, but this is the serious crimes unit. That's pretty big time for the CBI. Anything else, after just over a year would be a step down and suspicious."

"You would say that! Karen, you are a hopeless romantic. And I knew once you saw that picture of him; you would be all over this. Especially the one where he is looking at me. I know, he is so good looking and you can not imagine how sweet. He was not at all what I thought he would be. I figured him to be another gorgeous in love with himself alpha male. Instead, he is this gentle giant of a guy. I really could see myself with him long term, one day. But I don't feel like I want to make that decision right now, ya know?"

"I know, you're right, I need to do something soon. I am being so unfair to him. Oh, crap! I have to get back in there. It was so good to hear from home. Kiss Roger and the boys for me! Thanks for letting me vent."

"Yes, I promise to let my heart guide me. However, in my line of work, the head counts. Bye!"

Wayne managed to turn and dash away before she saw him. He had too much to think about to be able to talk to her now. Clearly, they were not on the same page. He knew he was older, but it had never occurred to him what that would mean in their relationship. He had been with the CBI for a few years and felt secure. Grace was still just past being a rookie. She still felt like she had something to prove. Between that and her dad's lack of expectations, it wasn't surprising she would put her career first. He also knew he loved her. It was a complete and steadfast love. He knew he had not expected this to happen to him ever. He met Grace and fell, hard. He loved her today and fully expected to love her tomorrow and beyond. She wasn't ready for any of this. From what he heard, she might be one day. He would take the pressure off and wait.

That night, he was supposed to have dinner at her apartment. He was too quiet, she noticed immediately. When asked, he told her he was fine. Everyone knows fine is anything but that. It's not fine, it's bad. Grace also knew that once he had eaten he would be more relaxed. She would get it out of him then.

After dinner, he stood up and kissed her slowly, carefully and thoroughly. Grace eagerly wrapped herself around him. She loved how he kissed. So many men thought they should attack with a kiss. Wayne's kisses, even those under hypnosis were strong, passionate and still gentle. Just looking at his lips too long made her knees a little wobbly.

She was surprised when he pulled back and said, "We need to talk"

Her heart sank. No conversation ever begun with those words ever ended well. She tried frantically to imagine what was wrong. Had they been discovered? She was pretty sure that Jane if he didn't already know would figure it out soon. However, she also thought he would probably keep it to himself for a little while. He had been pushing them together since day one.

"Sit down, Grace."

She sank down onto the sofa, as he paced back and forth. This was very bad. A knot in her stomach was beginning to grow.

"I have to be honest with you. It's only fair"

Honest? Fair? What the hell? She knew he wasn't married. She was damned sure he didn't have another girlfriend. What then? The knot was beginning to work its way up her chest.

"I love you. I always have. It has been that simple for me. I know that you are the miracle in my life I thought would never happen."

Oh God! Was he proposing? Already? Oh no. She was so not ready for that!

"But I know this has been very fast for you. I have been with the CBI longer. I have more years as a cop and investigator behind me. I am already established. I never thought the few years between us would matter, but I guess they do. You are all about your career right now. I understand that. I also understand that our relationship has put enormous pressure on you. I see how nervous you are about Lisbon finding out the truth."

What the hell? He wanted to talk about work? He kissed her senseless, scared her half to death and wanted to talk about the freaking CBI? Grace stared at Wayne as he paced, not comprehending.

He could see her confusion. Damn! He was fucking this up. Wayne knew he had never been much of a smooth talker, but he was making this worse. Better get this all out.

"I think we should stop seeing each other for a while"

"WHAT?" Grace jumped up, furious. Of all the things racing through her mind, that was at the bottom of the list to come out of his mouth. He had been quietly adoring her from across the bullpen for months. Now that he had her, he was done?

"Let me explain. I still love you. I told you that's not changing. Ever. But you need time to process all of this. I am not going anywhere. So, when you are ready for us to be really together, you come to me. When you are ready to figure out how we can have this all, and I believe there has to be a way to do that, let me know. This is not an ultimatum or anything. I just want you to feel as comfortable and confident in us as I am. You let me know."

"And meanwhile?"

"Meanwhile, we work together. I hope it won't be too weird for us, but I think we can handle that. I promise to give you all the time and space you need."

He started to walk toward the door and her voice stopped him. "Wayne? What if, well, what if I am never ready?" The question spilled out of her before she could stop it.

Wayne turned back and cupped her face with his big hands. He kissed her again, slowly, and gently. It was a goodbye kiss, she could taste it.

Just before he got to the door this time, he looked back at her. "Then I will spend the rest of my life in love with you, but alone."

He was proud of himself that he didn't falter as he left.

So, does this make sense to anyone else?