God my lack of memory. Well this is the last one guys, published far past the point when I remember the actual chapter enough to know if this is at all funny. Hope you people still into DGM enjoy it.

CHAPTER 214

WHEAT IS APPARENTLY THIS YEAR'S FEATHERS, AS WE OPEN IN A GIGANTIC FIELD OF IT. I AM KEEPING MY FINGERS CROSSED THAT WE WILL GET TO LEARN ABOUT NEAH'S MOMMY ISSUES THIS MONTH.

BITTY NEAH: GOD THIS PLACE IS BORING. NOTHING BUT A TREE AND WHEAT FOR MILES. WHY CAN'T I GO TO SCHOOL AND HAVE FRIENDS LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE?

HIS MOM: BECAUSE HOSHINO WANTED TO DRAW WHEAT, SWEETIE. ALSO BECAUSE YOU'RE A WEIRDO WHO TALKS TO THE WIND.

BITTY NEAH: AT LEAST THE WIND IS THERE FOR ME!

MOM: IS IT? I THINK IT'S BLOWING AWAY!

BITTY NEAH: BITCH YOU TALK TO TREES, DON'T JUDGE ME. WHERE'S UNCLE CREEPER ANYWAY?

MOM: PROBABLY BURNING SOMETHING TO THE GROUND. YOU KNOW HOW WHACKY UNCLE CYRUS IS.

BITTY NEAH: AS LONG AS HE ISN'T HERE. BY THE WAY YOU LOOK LIKE SHIT.

MOM: STAYING UP ALL NIGHT CARING FOR A COMATOSE CHILD WILL DO THAT TO YOU.

BITTY NEAH: OH RIGHT, THAT. SO IS HE EVER GOING TO WAKE UP OR…?

AND THEN SUDDENLY, BITTY KANDA POPS OUT FROM UNDER HER SKIRT! WAIT WHAT? ALLEN, WHAT KIND OF DREAM ARE YOU HAVING? THIS IS SOME FREUDIAN SHIT RIGHT HERE. OH WAIT THAT'S… MANA? I THINK IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE MANA. CLEARLY ALL THIS FLASHBACK SHARING MINDFUCKERY HAS DONE A NUMBER ON NEAH'S MEMORY, ALL THE FACES ARE RUNNING TOGETHER IN HIS HEAD.

BITTY NEAH: WHAT THE SHIT?! YOU THINK THAT'S AN APPROPRIATE WAY TO REVEAL THAT MY BROTHER ISN'T DEAD?

MOM AND BITTY MANA: LULZ!

~EXIT FLASHBACK DREAM~

ALLEN: WOW, WHAT… A TERRIBLE PARENT… SURE AM GLAD MINE ABANDONED ME…

JOHNNY: ALLEN? ALLEN?! ALLEEEEEEN!

ALLEN: WHAT?!

JOHNNY: OH YOU'RE AWAKE! ARE YOU OKAY MY SWEET PRINCE?! *HOLDS TO BOSOM*

ALLEN: WHA…?

JOHNNY: YOU COLLAPSED AND I SAVED YOU KANDA MAYBE HELPED A LITTLE BUT LOOK I MADE YOU A SANDWICH WOULDN'T I MADE THE PERFECT WIFE?

ALLEN: THAT'S GREAT- SHUT UP FOR A SECOND.

JONNY: *DREAMY SIGH*

ALLEN: *EITHER YAWNS OR ORGASMS, PROBABLY THE LATTER*

HOSHINO, YOU ARE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE. I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE UNAWARE OF WHAT YOU JUST DREW THERE. THAT BLATANTLY LOOKS LIKE ALLEN SUDDENLY STARTED JERKING OFF AND YOU ARE FULLY AWARE OF IT, DAMN IT!

TIMCANPY: *SMOOSHES AGAINST HIS FACE* DUDE, COME ON, NOT NOW.

ALLEN: SORRY.

JOHNNY: I BOUGHT YOU A HUNDRED SANDWICHES!

ALLEN: … AND NO DRINK?

JOHNNY: AH, HERE'S SOME WATER!

ALLEN: FUCK YOUR WATER I WANT ROOT BEER *FEATHERS EXPLODE OUT OF SIDE*

JONNY: *CRIES*

ALLEN: OH ALRIGHT. I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU GET OFF YOUR KNEES.

JONNY: *BITES LIP* FINE… OH HERE I BROUGHT YOU DRUGS! *FLAILS AROUND MORE*

ALLEN: *LOOMS BEHIND*

JOHNNY: I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM-

ALLEN: *BREAKS NECK*

AND THERE WAS MUCH REJOICING. I WILL FEEL KIND OF BAD FOR LAUGHING AT THIS PANEL IF JONNY IS ACTUALLY DEAD, BUT AT THE SAME TIME I KIND OF HOPE HE IS. THIS WOULD BE A PRETTY ANTICLIMACTIC START TO THE WHOLE "YOU WILL KILL SOMEONE YOU LOVE" PROPHECY THOUGH. I MEAN… IT'S JUST JOHNNY.

ALLEN: *DRINKS WATER* MAN MY HEADACHE IS GOING AWAY ALREADY, SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT AGES AGO.

CREEPY TIMCANPY: SOON…

ALLEN THAT IS ACTUALLY NEAH: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL FACE?! LIKE HELL I'M LIVING WITH THIS PASTY WHITE ASS, SOMEONE INVENT THE TANNING BOOTH— *TRIPS OVER NOTHING* GOD, THIS KID'S SENSE OF BALANCE. YEAH, I'M FINE, VOICE IN MY HEAD. THANKS FOR ASKING.

TIMCANPY: YOU'RE HIGH AS BALLS.

CREEPER ALLENEAH: *WATCHES YOU SLEEP* OH YOU LITTLE RASCAL. NOW THEN, TIM, IT'S GOSSIP TIME~ TELL ME ALL OF ALLEN'S DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS.

~MEANWHILE, OUTSIDE~

KANDA: *STILL POINTING MUGEN AT LINK*

LINK: SO ARE YOU GOING TO STAB ME, OR…?

KANDA: MAYBE LATER

LINK: K. SO YOU SHOULD COME BACK TO THE ORDER BEFORE YOU BECOME A FALLEN ONE OR SOMETHING. *VANISHES INTO THE SHADOWS*

KANDA: GREAT NOW HE'S A GHOST. BETTER GO CHECK ON THE BEANSPROU-OH SHIT! NOAH SENSES, TINGLING! *BARGES IN WITH SWORD DRAWN*

ALLENEAH: HAY.

KANDA: OH MY GOD, YOU KILLED JOHNNY!

ALLENEAH: … YEAH?

KANDA: FINALLY.

ALLENEAH: RIGHT?

THE END (FOREVER)